by Elbel, Joy
“What is all of this, Ruby? Where did you get it?”
“Mom. They all came from Mom.”
With a look of disbelief on her face, Shelly inspected each of the items carefully. When she saw the return address on the main envelope, she gathered everything up.
“Let’s go talk in my study—just in case your dad comes home early. I don’t want him to see any of this until I’m sure he’s ready to. Especially this one,” she said waving the unopened envelope in the air.
I nodded my head in agreement and followed her down the hallway. After closing the door to her study, she sat at her desk and I flopped down on the couch, ready to tell my story. I felt like I was at a psychiatrist’s appointment. And I think that was exactly what I needed right now—emotional therapy.
Remembering my promise to not reveal Josette’s identity, I explained it the best way I could without divulging her secret. “I got those letters from a friend of Mom’s. I didn’t go looking for her—it just kind of happened. And that’s when everything started to happen. Roxanne emailed me with Salma’s advice on how to help Zach. Then Rachel let me know that they had some crazy plan to break him out of the psych ward. I drove back to Charlotte’s Grove as fast as I could.”
I gave her every detail I could about those two subjects, and then returned back to the stickiest part of the whole thing—the things Josette said that referred to my father. And then I let her read the letter my mother wrote to me.
“Mom knew all along what was going to happen—so why did she do it?”
“Did she really? That second letter makes me think otherwise. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to read that one too, Ruby.”
I stared at the letter marked “Miranda” and sighed. Maybe someday I would read what Mom wanted to say to my dead sister but today wasn’t that day. My brain was already about to explode.
“So where did this mask come from? And why do you desperately want to go to New Orleans?”
The first question was easy to answer. “I found this buried in the leaves at the rendezvous point. I found it right when I thought all hope was lost. The feathers are obvious but it also made me think of Mardi Gras and New Orleans in general. Addie kept telling me that she thought her grandmother could help me. I think it’s time to go see if she’s right about that.”
“You found it buried in the leaves? Under a foot of snow? What made you dig there in the first place?”
“No, I didn’t have to dig—there wasn’t any snow.” I pondered that revelation for a second before posing my own question. “Why wasn’t there any snow?”
Every inch of exposed ground was blanketed in white all the way from Liberty to Charlotte’s Grove. Except for at the Hideout. There was too much on my mind for me to notice it at the time, but there hadn’t been one single flake at the rendezvous point. I was meant to find that mask. I was meant to go to New Orleans. I was meant to go forth. Now.
“Don’t bother trying to answer that question—I already know why. If there had been snow, I never would have found my sign. And my sign points to New Orleans and a meeting with the voodoo queen herself. Are you in or are you out?”
“I’m in of course! I haven’t been to New Orleans in a long time. Let’s start booking our trip—and thinking of a way to explain this to your father.”
“That’s the easy part. All we have to do is say that we wanted to do a mother/daughter vacation kind of thing. He’ll never question it. And that won’t even be a total lie, either. Aside from the whole Zach thing, I think this trip will be fun. We should have done something like this sooner.”
“Yes,” Shelly said as she began searching for the next available flight with a huge smile on her face, “we definitely should have.”
While booking my flight to Tucson only took a matter of a few minutes, I soon learned that it wasn’t always that easy to do. She found several flights with only one unoccupied seat left and a few more with two open ones but on opposite ends of the plane. I was about to tell her we should just suck it up and take one of those while it was still available when she found what turned out to be the perfect flight.
“Here we go—flight 604, nonstop from Pittsburgh to New Orleans. Leaves early the morning of March 4th. Do you know what day that is?”
By the excited tone in her voice, I assumed I was missing something big. But I was still stuck on two glaring synchronicities in her sentence. 604 was the same flight number as the one Zach took from Chicago to Pittsburgh last summer when this all began. And March 4th? That was simply another way to say “go forth”. When Shelly filled in the final detail, I knew for certain that this was the flight we were meant to take.
“March 4th is a Tuesday, Ruby. Fat Tuesday to be more precise. We’ll be arriving in New Orleans on the first day of Mardi Gras!”
The sudden echo of the doorbell throughout the mansion startled us both and we went into simultaneous stealth modes. There was something about a mystery that made every small detail seem like another potential clue. We crept to the window and peered around the curtain like secret agents to see who was out there.
When I saw that it was only Rachel, I was actually slightly disappointed. I don’t know who I thought was on our doorstep, but I expected it to be someone more exciting—like an out-of-state courier delivering an unmarked package containing another clue to my mystery. Sigh. I didn’t really need any more excitement but my imagination was in overdrive. I needed to conserve my sleuthing skills for New Orleans. That’s when I was really going to need them.
Rachel was in tears when I opened the door. Sobbing profusely, she cried out, “I’m sorry about what happened today, Ruby! All I wanted to do was help Zach! But he’s back at the hospital now. What are we going to do now?”
“We’re going to go to New Orleans, that’s what.”
“I wish I could go with you but I can’t afford to. I’ve already spent so much money flying back and forth from Florida to see Zach. But please, do everything you can to help him. I don’t want to lose him anymore than you do.”
“Your plane ticket is on me,” Shelly announced. “You love mysteries as much as I do and you have every right to help us solve this one.”
We spent the next hour booking our flight and finding a decent hotel as close to the heart of the city as possible. The three of us made a pact not to tell anyone except for Addie the real reason why we were going to New Orleans. As far as anyone else was concerned, it was a girls-only getaway purely for the fun of it. I called Addie to make all of the necessary arrangements for my trip.
Any other boss would have undoubtedly fired my delinquent ass by now. But not Addie. In fact, she was more excited about my trip than I was.
“It’s about time you took my advice! I’ll let Granny know you’re comin’. I haven’t told her all the details of your situation but she knows that somethin’ weird is goin’ on with you. She’ll set things right for ya, Ruby—mark my words.”
I decided to only spend one night in Charlotte’s Grove instead of two. There was packing to be done back in Liberty. As expected, Dad was excited to hear about our getaway but bummed that he wasn’t invited. If he only knew the real reason for our trip, he would change his mind in a hurry. Especially if he caught wind of the side trip I was hoping to make if I had enough time.
Zach came first, of course, but Gabby gave me a piece of another puzzle that I eventually wanted to put together too. And this was my perfect opportunity to do it. But the thought of it was nerve wracking to say the least. I made myself a cup of tea to soothe my mind. When I got to the bottom, I swirled the leaves in my cup then tipped it over out of sheer habit. What I found in there told me that I was on the right track. If there was any possible way to save Zach, New Orleans was where it was going to happen.
I fell asleep that night with that tea cup beside me on the nightstand. There was something about seeing what was inside it that gave me a sense of inner peace like none I’d ever experienced before. And it ushered me into a calming drea
m.
It was the one about Zach and me in the movie theater again. Every other time, I sat there frustrated at not being able to see or hear what Zach was experiencing. But not this time. I enjoyed it for what it was—time spent seeing Zach happy. And that made me happy. As the end credits zipped by on the screen, Zach rose from his seat and offered me his hand but I refused it.
“Aren’t you coming with me?” he asked, though he seemed to already know my answer.
“You go on ahead. I’ll catch up to you.”
And that’s exactly what I did. Eventually.
26. Dying Ember
I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to sleep. All I wanted to do was stare at that stone. It made no sense but I felt like that stone was the only thing keeping me alive. But did I want to still be alive? Some days, yes; some days, no. Some days I blamed her for everything that went wrong in my life. Other days, I missed her terribly and would have done anything I could to see her again.
After my failed attempt at freedom, they cracked down hard on me. I was virtually in psychiatric solitary confinement. They wouldn’t let me outdoors without guards by my side. I was never going to see her again. Maybe it was for the best. I didn’t really want her to see me like this anyway.
So I spent my time locked inside my own head, gazing into the center of that stone for hours on end. I imagined a whole new world was growing inside there—a world where I was normal again. But what exactly was normal anyway? Normal was only an illusion. Normal for one person could be utter chaos for the next. Normal for me was being with Ruby. Now, I wasn’t so sure about that.
Things were never going to be normal again after what I’d done to her at the Hideout. I smashed her hand in that car door and left it there to make her feel the same kind of pain I was feeling inside. Her hand was probably destroyed. She needed that hand to write with. Writing was her passion and I went and selfishly took it away from her. I may have been deserving of her at one point but certainly not now. And if she hated me, I had no choice but to hate myself even more.
I had to find a way to die. But how? I was almost to the point of thinking I would never have the opportunity to end it when they handed it to me on a silver platter. Now she would see how much I really loved her.
27. Diving Headfirst
The first thing I did when I woke up was look into that teacup. Sometimes—make that most times—my dreams were so vivid that I had a hard time distinguishing between fantasy and reality in those first waking moments. What I saw in that cup last night was encouraging. But was it all just a beautiful dream?
I heaved a sigh of relief when I peered inside and saw the same thing I was expecting to see—a feather. But this was the best feather I’d found so far. It was huge and swallowed up half of the cup. That wasn’t the best part, though. The part that encouraged me the most was the actual shape of the feather. It was still clearly a feather but it was contorted around until both ends touched and formed a second symbol. A heart. No one was closer to my heart than Zach. This was my sign that everything was going to work out in the end.
That’s when time travel popped into my head again. But I began to look at it differently. It wasn’t a concrete thing; it was an abstract one. People couldn’t hop into a machine, go back to watch the pyramids being built, and then pop right back to the present. If that were possible, I might be the first one in line. No, time travel was what was happening to me right now—right here in this very moment. Seeing that feather gave me the courage to do something that I hadn’t done yet—save Zach. When the right moment came, I would know exactly what to do because the feather was telling me that I would. It was all so weird and twisty in a serendipitous, synchronized sort of way.
I hopped out of bed with newfound purpose. Positivity was my new weapon of choice. Just like I braved that pool, I was diving headfirst into this new leg of my adventure. No one ever loved anyone with the ferocity that I loved Zach—of that I was sure. He saved my life several times over. It was my turn to repay that favor, regardless of what I had to sacrifice in the meantime.
My first sacrifice was quite a doozy too—passing up a proper breakfast. And that wasn’t an easy choice for me considering the smells wafting up from the kitchen as I made my way down the split staircase with everything I brought with me in my hands. I didn’t even bother to shower—that could wait until I got home. I needed to get back to Liberty so I could start preparing for the trip to Louisiana even if it meant double fisting bacon and English muffins all the way down the interstate. Which I was fully prepared to do, by the way.
Shelly, of course, objected. “You have more than enough time to sit and have breakfast with me, young lady! Your dad left early so we can talk freely over a cup of coffee—or tea since you seem to prefer that lately. Pull up a chair.”
“No can do, Shelly. I need to get home so I can get ready for our trip. And we need to figure out how we’re doing this, too. Where are we meeting? In Liberty? Or in Charlotte’s Grove? I guess it might all depend on my work schedule.”
“I’m picking Rachel up here—she and I already worked out that part of the equation. You’ll have to meet us at the airport in Pittsburgh. It’s about time you conquer your fear of city driving.”
Shut. The. Front. Door. Oh, hell no. I had enough driving anxiety as it was just taking the interstate between here and Ohio and she knew that. Parallel parking on a quiet street was even a call for the max dosage of Xanax. She wanted me to meet her in Pittsburgh? Did she lose her mind overnight? I couldn’t dignify such insanity with a real response.
“Umm, okay,” I replied even though it was definitely not okay. I would make sure to get off work early enough to meet her at Rosewood even if I had to drive all night to get here. Or I would hit up Derek for another ride. ‘It’s about time you conquer your fear of city driving.’ That statement was sheer lunacy! “Just throw some bacon in a cup or something—I need to hit the road.”
“If you insist. But be careful driving home—I know how distracted you get when bacon is involved. I want you in one piece for our New Orleans trip. The three of us are going to have such a fun time together!”
“This isn’t actually going to be the girls-only getaway that we told Dad it was going to be, remember? Fun isn’t on the agenda. For real. We’re going to be meeting a voodoo queen and trying to figure out what I need to do next to save Zach. Watching parades and accepting beads from strangers isn’t an option. Think of this as more of a business trip, Shelly.”
“All work and no play make a very dull Ruby,” she said as she handed me two plastic cups—one full of bacon and the other stuffed with breakfast potatoes. “Never say never.”
“What-never,” I replied with a devilish smile, popping the first piece of crisp bacon into my mouth. “I’ll talk to you later.” I hesitated for a second then said the word that was dangling precariously from my lips. “Mom.”
That was such a magical word to her. I didn’t fully understand why, though. Maybe I was born without a maternal instinct. I thought of myself as someone who had more of a cat-ternal instinct. I knew more what to do with creatures that meowed than I did with those that cried and wetted themselves. Regardless, I endured a hug and a tear or two while she fawned over me and my suddenly dangerous trip home.
Once back on the interstate with no deathtrap log trucks in sight, I called out for Clay. I shunned his offer to accompany me to Arizona but I felt that my trip to New Orleans was different. I wanted him there. Minus the spectral mile high club thing of course.
“Sure, I’ll come with you. I was born in Charlotte’s Grove and I died in Charlotte’s Grove. Liberty is as far away from Spring Avenue that I’ve ever ventured. Mom was always too interested in being drunk to think about travelling. And Dad…well…I didn’t know he was my dad until after I died. Just give me a holler when it’s time to leave. I don’t need much time to pack. That’s one of the many perks to being dead.”
Perks to being dead. That was a weird concept to try
to wrap my brain around. I probably knew more about death than most people on this planet yet, honestly, I knew very little in the grand scheme of things. Was I going to look at death the same way as Clay once I was dead myself? And would I ever be able to tone down on the philosophical tangents in my head and be a “normal” person?
Several replays of “Bohemian Rhapsody” later, I found myself back at Liberty Towers alone. I sent Clay away so that I could have a bit of “me” time while I got started on my preliminary round of packing for New Orleans. And I thought heavily about Zach. If he only knew how hard I was fighting to save him, would it make him try any harder to save himself? Or were we past the point of that being possible? Ugh. Once again, I needed to turn my brain off for a little while.
I snagged my keys from the kitchen table then drove to Poe’s Corner to talk to Addie. I needed to give her the exact dates of my trip and to see if she could sweet talk Derek into giving me another ride to the airport. There probably wasn’t going to be another conveniently timed gaming convention to entice him with this time but I was willing to sweeten the pot any way I could. He wouldn’t be able to resist a new dragon costume, right? One with a much better tail this time.
The coffee shop was dead when I arrived—the only signs of life were resident ghost Miss Mabel and Addie herself who was quite surprised to see me.
“You’re back already? I thought you weren’t comin’ back ‘til Wednesday at the earliest. Pull up a chair and have a cup of tea with me—pretty sure the customers won’t mind.”
She waved her arm dramatically around the empty shop for ironic emphasis. I did what she told me to do and sat down at the table closest to the counter.
“No fancy teas this time, please. I’m not in the mood for anything weirder than a nice cup of blueberry green tea. I want to enjoy what I’m drinking instead of longing to rinse my mouth out after every sip.”