by J. D. Brown
My brow rose and my mouth puckered into an “O.”
He chuckled and then jerked his chin in the direction of the loft. “Come on.”
We went to the ladder. I levitated by his side as Jesu climbed, until we both hovered at the loft’s edge. My hands cupped my mouth in a small gasp. Sara’s red fluffy blanket was spread across the floor under the glow of silver moonlight spilling past the broken wall. Golden pillows, borrowed from the castle’s spare rooms, encircled the edges. Tiny white flower petals were sprinkled across the blanket and floorboards. In the center sat two champagne glasses, and what appeared to be a bottle of red wine, but I figured it was blood.
“Oh, Jesu… it’s beautiful.”
He lifted himself onto the landing and then grabbed my waist and pulled me against him as he fell onto the blanket.
“Hey, you promised not to touch me with those gross spider hands!” I laughed as I landed on top of him. The glasses toppled and it was a good thing Sara’s blanket was extra thick to keep them from breaking. “So what’s for dinner?” I asked, looking at the red-tinted bottle.
“Goat blood,” he breathed, his voice a little hoarse as he lifted his head to kiss my temple.
“I see,” I said, though my attention was really on his muscular neck, the thick vein that pulsed there, the way his long hair fanned across the flat planes of his chest. I’d seen him naked enough times to picture every last freckle hidden under his shirt and jeans, and where another thick vein pulsed hard through the denim against his thigh.
“I thought we could toast.” His breath toyed with the ends of my hair as his hands traced my arms. “Now I think maybe we will skip straight to dessert…”
“Mmm. It’s not like we have much to toast to anyway.”
His gaze darkened. It was only a flicker; emerald green to a murky malachite, and then back to emerald. Quick as it was, I noticed it and a sinking feeling tightened around my chest.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He ran his palms up and down my arms, his attention somewhere else as he looked past me.
I narrowed my gaze. “Jesu…”
Our eyes met and his lips pursed. “How… how did the briefing with Nikolas go?”
My blood went cold just thinking about it. There was time, at least another hour or so, before Nikolas would call Maria and me back to sign the document. I could still back out and end the whole thing. Yet, in the depths of my heart, I knew I had to go through with it, and that made the wait worse.
“We do not have to talk about it now,” Jesu said. He gestured to the space around us. “I did all this, because I thought we could both use a time-out.”
I bit the inside of my cheek as he absently stroked my hair, letting his palm slide over my back. Though he lay beneath me, his gaze looked a million miles away—thoughtful and thoughtless all at once. I contemplated getting Valafar and the Crone to help me on my terms instead of their sporadic ones. Brinnon had mentioned that they could make it worth the incubus’ while. I assumed that meant they could pay Valafar loads of cash, which Nikolas obviously had in abundance, but I made a mental note to get the specifics of what I could offer them later. For now…
Jesu’s chest rose and fell underneath me. It was the only movement he made as he was also deep in thought. I gently slid off him and sat on the blanket, where I crossed my legs and then grabbed the bottle.
He pulled himself upright. “What are you doing?”
“Pouring the drinks so we can toast.” I handed him a glass and then uncorked the bottle. The salty metallic scent pulled my thirst to the forefront and I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I fed. Whenever it was, I felt famished now, the thirst rearing its ugly horns against my insides.
“I thought you said there was nothing to toast to.”
“Don’t be silly. One good thing came out of all this.”
His brow cocked as I filled his glass and then mine. “Yes, I can think of one as well.”
I put the bottle down and then eyed him with a smile. “Does yours have anything to do with me kissing you?”
A grin spread across the left side of his face and the green in his irises sparkled. “As well as the words you said. I believe it was something along the lines of ‘I love you’.”
I smiled into my glass before meeting his gaze. “To falling in love.”
He held out his glass. “To being loved in return.”
“And,” I decided at the last moment, my brow tight in the certainty of the idea. “To kicking ass and taking names.”
Jesu chuckled. “How about, to not losing any more of one’s fingers?”
“Or kissing girls behind the other’s back.” I snorted.
“Ouch.” He grabbed his chest in a dramatic act of pain, fighting back a snicker as he did so. “Just click your glass to mine already.”
I laughed and our glasses clinked together. We both gulped our drinks. I imagined Jesu was just as thirsty as me after traveling halfway to Egypt and back. The vibrant euphoric energy coated my insides with strength and vigor, sending a wave of heat through my core, and the woods beyond the barn suddenly came to life.
Crickets and toads sang their nightly song. Garden snakes, owls, and field mice played hide-n-seek in the wild grass. My muscles ached to join them, to run rampant and careless through the brush. To fly freely, stretching over the tree tops into the sky where the stars danced, their twinkling light inviting me to the black and blue backdrop, the moon dazzling like a disco ball.
“Ema?” Jesu’s gentle voice pooled against my ear.
I glanced over my shoulder to find him seated behind me, his arms wrapped around my middle. “Hmm?”
“Where did you go just now?”
“Out there,” I said, looking past the barn.
“The woods are beautiful at night.” He pressed his lips to my temple and his embrace tightened.
“I get why you love nature,” I breathed, resting my head against his shoulder. “I get why you try to paint it, all those blobs of brown on the canvases in your room in Finland, and how you’re able to dance when no music is playing. The earth is alive; always beating to its own rhythm, like a heart.”
“Yes,” he hissed, the simple word punching a deep throaty growl from his lungs. In a desperate jerk of motion, he swept my hair away from my shoulder and crushed his lips against my neck. I half expected him to bite into the flesh. Something thrilling about that idea sent a surge of warmth through my core—but he didn’t bite down. Instead, he sucked on the delicate skin. My eyes closed and my back arched, pushing my shoulders hard against his chest. My chin rolled to the side, giving him a wider display of skin to suckle as I gripped his thighs for balance.
His hands draped slowly along the sides of my body, past my chest, past my waist, down to my hips, where his fingers slid under the thin cotton of my T-shirt and then slowly ventured upward, gliding over the planes of my lower abs, toward my navel. The fabric rose from my torso with his guiding touch.
Panic slammed into me. I jumped out of his lap and stood, causing his teeth to scrape across my neck. A small spasm shook my groin as a surge of liquid warmth shot through my core and my knees buckled. Heat colored my face. Did I just orgasm? I yanked my shirt down to cover the scar before facing Jesu.
“Ema…” Jesu pushed to his feet and stood. “You are bleeding.” He touched his fingers to my neck. They came back red, stained by a thin trickle of blood, but that was the least of my worries. I exhaled in relief, realizing that he hadn’t noticed the scar.
“I did not mean to bite you.”
“It’s fine. It’ll heal.”
He licked his lips, looking glassy-eyed at the blood on his fingertips, before releasing a throaty sigh and wiping his hand on his jeans. “It is considered… distasteful… to bite another without their permission.”
My brow furrowed in curiosity and I decided I had to ask. “Um, did I just… does that normally cause…”
“An orgasm?” Jesu ch
uckled.
My checks burned. “Is that weird?”
“No.” He shook his head, grinning. “It is quite common for us, but I will tell you more about that another time.”
“Oh.” I hugged myself and glanced at my feet. “I’ll remember that, I guess.”
Jesu studied me and his gaze shifted. “Are you all right? You look… spooked. Is it because I bit you? I did not mean to cause you embarrassment, although, as a man, there is nothing more I would rather do than see you enjoy yourself.”
“It’s not that.” I glanced away, chewing on my lower lip. “Remember when I promised to tell you my secrets when the time was right?”
“Yes. We both promised.”
“Well, I should tell you now. You’re going to find out sooner or later.” I hesitated and then slid a palm down my shirt, cupping the scar. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze, so I stared at the floor. “I was afraid to tell you because I know how you blame yourself. Maybe there is something we can do to—”
“No, Ema, it is my fault,” he whispered. “I should have been there to stop it. I should have been there before it ever began.”
I winced. “Jesu, you couldn’t have—”
“I know my brother is rotten, but I did not think he would go that far.”
My gaze rose in confusion. His face was tight, his brows drawn together at the center, his lips in a thin frown. Every muscle in his body clenched, his fists drawn back as though he might punch something. His next words carried like a vow and a curse rolled into one.
“I never should have let him touch you.”
Panic churned in my gut. “Jesu, what are you talking about?”
He looked straight at me and his anger submerged. Not gone, but receded someplace deep inside, leaving only a heavy sorrow in its wake. He slowly shook his head. “It is my fault, Ema, but that should not deter you from coming to me. I should have said something the moment I saw it.”
I glanced at my hand, still covering the scar. “You saw it?”
“In a sense.” He nodded sheepishly. “I had a premonition about it.”
I blinked several times. “You had another premonition? When? How?”
“Right after the first time we made love. Well, it was more like after we stopped making love for the day. As for how it happened, I am not sure. I told you, I have no control over it. Perhaps because I was very… in tune… with your body at the time, but I really do not know.”
I studied him for a moment, still confused. His gaze pleaded, but I didn’t understand why. To believe that he’d had another premonition? To believe that the scar on my stomach was somehow his fault? I shook my head. Something about this didn’t make sense. What did Jalmari touching me have to do with Apollyon branding me?
I wet my lips and then took his hands into mine. “Jesu… what exactly did you see?”
Jesu released a shaky breath and then slowly lowered his gaze to my stomach. He pulled one hand out of my grip and rested it on my lower abs, midway between my belly button and groin—not on the scar. His lips pursed and the words came forth in a gentle whisper. “Your baby… I watched it being born.”
The room spun and my knees gave out. I felt myself drop—the dead weight sinking, the breeze as my hair took a moment to catch up with gravity—as if in slow motion. What I didn’t feel was Jesu catching me, Jesu lowering me gently to the blanket, Jesu asking over and over if I was okay.
“I can’t be,” I whispered as my heart drummed in my ears. “I suspected, but I didn’t think… I just couldn’t…”
He pulled me into his lap as I balled the fabric of his shirt into my fists. “Shh.” He combed my hair with his fingers, pushing stray strands behind my ears. “Ema, you’re going to be—”
“Don’t say it,” I warned.
“A mother. A beautiful, proud, wonderful mother.”
My heart broke. Disintegrated. My hands fell to my lap as my head rocked against his chest. “I don’t want to be a mom.”
He made a sound in his throat like sob. Was his heart breaking too? Was he crying tearlessly, the only way vampires could?
“Ema, you do not have to worry. I will take care of you. I will take care of both of you.”
Then it came to me; the day Jesu and I had sex for the first time—and the bath following—the way we lay together, enjoying the afterglow, until a deep spasm overcame him. I had thought it was a seizure, but it was a vision! He kept saying what he said now. You have nothing to worry about; I will take care of you.
I wanted to believe him.
“You must hate me,” I murmured.
“I could never hate you. I love you.”
“But I’m carrying your brother’s child. I’m a horrible person.”
“Ema, listen to me.” He held me at arm’s length and looked me in the eyes. “You are a wonderful woman who was treated badly. You deserve so much better than what Jalmari did, and nothing will change how I feel about you. I would do anything for you.”
I glanced at my lap and sniffed. “Can you just hold me?”
He cupped my face in his palms and then pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. I scooted closer, curling against his chest as his strong arms wrapped across my back, holding me tight. I let my head rest over his heart and listened to it beat. My eyes closed and for a moment, all the wickedness and worries washed away.
I can do this. With Jesu’s love, I can do this.
Epilogue:
Jalmari
Alpan soldiers surrounded the castle, marching in and out like worker ants. Their movements and idle chatter rippled through the air, allowing my phased essence to keep track of them. I remained hovering high over the edge of the forest, behind the castle’s rickety old barn, to keep off their raider. The majority of them stayed within the stone fence, but I knew Nikolas kept a few footmen roaming the grounds, disguised as animals.
They were smart—the girl and my brother—to go to Germany and seek King Nikolas’ aid, but my father was smarter. Apollyon kept moving. He wouldn’t be found again until it benefitted him. That was a skill he’d taught me. The rat made a mistake by staying put. It was only a matter of time before I found her.
Locating my brother was easy. I had entered the castle through the walls of the guest wing and traced his essence. He wasn’t with the girl at the time, so I kept my distance, carefully following his pulse until he led me outdoors to the barn. I knew she would eventually come to him—or he would go to her—so I waited.
A warm breeze ruffled the tree tops and I held fast to the atoms of the rifle. Judging by the level of security, I would only get one shot at this, and I had no intention of waiting another day. The gun was loaded and ready. Tonight, Ema Marx would die.
The atmosphere shifted, alerting me to a presence that was not part of the natural flow of air. I read each wave carefully, worried that I’d been discovered by one of the Alpans. They could sense a phased vampyre nearby, but their ability was limited. Fleeing too soon would be an obvious giveaway. Staying still and hoping they’d mistake me for a breeze was the best option.
The mysterious presence pulsed faintly, its ripples wide by the time they reached mine, lending an idea to the distance between us. I switched gears and quickly checked on my brother. He was still in the barn—with a second presence.
Paska! How did I miss that?
I needed to know if the other person in the barn was the girl. Looking and scenting were the only sure ways to confirm it, but the moment I solidified I had to be ready to act. Shoot or go home and wait another day. Each day was another risk that I’d be spotted and stopped. The essence in the woods stayed put and I had no choice but to assume it hadn’t recognized me.
No more waiting. She dies now.
I lowered into the forest canopy and swiftly flew from branch to branch, skirting as close as possible without leaving the cover of the last few maple trees. The other essence didn’t follow. My mind eased a bit as I let my face solidify. I saw them through the broken wa
ll overlooking the barn loft. They sat together on the floor, fully exposed.
I inhaled. Thousands of scents filled my lungs. My instincts ran through them, registering each one like a machine, until a specific aroma soared to the forefront of my mind. Rose oil. The fragrance of her essence forced a silent growl from my invisible lungs. The rat had seduced my brother, reanimated my father, killed my beloved, and stole everything I had worked centuries to achieve. The need for vengeance left a cold emptiness in the hollow of my bones, and a red-hot craving to see the blood drained from her severed neck.
The rest of my body solidified, followed by the rifle and the lone bullet in the cold, hard chamber. Crickets ceased their chirping. Hooting quieted and nibbling teeth stopped. My corporeal presence drew fear from the woodland creatures like a serum. Its potency even stilled the wind. This was it. The clock was ticking. Only seconds remained before an Alpan soldier could notice something was amiss in their forest. I pressed the butt of the gun against my shoulder, the weight of the firearm leveling in my hands as my fingers tightened around the grip.
I zeroed in on the couple with my own eyes, ignoring the scope. They sat in an embrace, the girl’s cheek resting gingerly on my brother’s chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her. He pressed his lips against the top of her head. The look in his eyes was one I knew well—a look of total adoration. But his love wasn’t real. He was a man blinded and lost in the ruse of a curse. I’d save Jesu and avenge Leena all in one shot.
I aimed the barrel down just a smidge, to the pulsing jugular vein in his neck. My finger squeezed the trigger. The dart fired, jarring the gun hard against my shoulder. My spine hit a tree trunk, rattling the branches. I stopped levitating, allowing gravity to steady me so I could push off with my feet. A heavy thud pulled my attention back to the scene in the loft as Jesu fell lifelessly to the floor. The girl’s high-pitched scream filled the barn with shifting vampyres. A wave of several other soldiers raced from the castle, scaling the stone fence with partially shifted claws and wings. Instinct seized me and I flew into action. The rat kneeled, overlooking my brother, her back to me as I closed in. She never saw me coming.