by Casey Herzog
He reeled back the wire, bringing with it the arrow with no visible signs of making contact with any surface to help us.
“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how to find the right words. You’re the spitting image of your mother, which scares some people. What happened recently was a wake-up call and has them on high alert for anything suspicious you might be involved in. It took a lot to keep them in the dark about this journey. You can imagine they would have stepped in to make sure what happened before couldn’t happen again.”
He fired the arrow again, and we waited patiently like time itself had stood still. Once again, we were left with nothing to show for the effort. The arrow did not pierce anything, and with each try, it was becoming almost laughable. It felt like somebody up there was purposely dangling the carrot in front of us and then taking it away at the last second.
“I’m glad you finally told me, but it does not instill any kind of confidence in me. I’ve already proven to them I am like my mother. I thought there was something more to the way they were acting towards me. It’s not like anybody else hasn’t made a mistake. I don’t think it’s fair of them to judge me, but I think I understand where they’re coming from.”
I wanted to help get us out of this mess, but there was nothing I could do. I could only stand still and hope for a miracle. With each piece of ice that broke away from what I considered our bridge to safety, my heart would jump out of its chest. Whatever air I could bring into my lungs was very little.
“Once your mother got something in her head, there was very little anybody could do to stop her. She was headstrong and stubborn, but I think we can admit these are shortcomings you have in common with her.
“I did manage to save a dozen of those infected. I know this is not going to sit well, but I had you inoculated as one of the earlier test subjects. I had no idea what it would do to you, but losing a couple of years from your childhood is a small price to pay for continued survival.”
The shrouds were still circling like they were waiting for our terrified screams. I suspected that would be when they would swoop in and take what they wanted.
“I’m not going to give up and I don’t want you to either, father. We have come a long way and I will be damned if we are stopped this close to finding what we need to help Damien.”
I tried to conjure some sort of spell of protection using the bare basics of magic as a foundation. It wasn’t just forbidden, but impossible to use magic. It was still there, but I couldn’t pull it out to be of any use to us.
I was even tempted to call on the darker arts, which I knew were still there waiting for me to slip and fall off the wagon. It would’ve been so easy, but I would’ve felt lost. I would have reverted back to the evil. It was constantly nagging at me, and the only way to prevent it from taking hold was by keeping busy.
“I won’t give up on my family, and I will always try to find a way out, regardless of any kind of personal sacrifice. You can help by believing this arrow to be true in its trajectory.”
The ice had thinned and I was standing with my two feet planted together. The wind was amazingly strong and I had to hunch to give myself some balance. I soon found myself on my hands and knees with barely a platform of ice keeping me from finding my way into my mother’s arms.
I wanted to believe she was out there protecting us and ready to act from whatever afterlife she had found herself in. Believing in something bigger than what you are is hard for most and easier for few.
The arrow was the hope we were clinging to with the last breath in our bodies. He was about to fire it, but then he stopped for a moment and moved the angle slightly to the left. It was almost like somebody had touched him on the shoulder to give him some much-needed advice and direction.
The wire became tight, and even though we couldn’t see it, the arrow made the necessary impact. I was enthusiastically happy, but that was short lived. The ice under my feet gave way and gravity was going to do the rest.
Chapter Fourteen
The only thing I could think about was my father coming to the rescue. I acted without thinking by leaping onto his back piggyback style. The extra weight broke the ice underneath his feet. I was holding on for dear life, closing my eyes and willing this part of my history to be over. If we survived, I could definitely see myself writing down my exploits for others to enjoy after my passing.
“I understand why you did it, but the ice couldn’t hold both of us at the same time. I need you to climb up over me and make it to the ice thicker than the rest. Move quickly and quietly and be as soft-footed as you can.”
I felt like he was trying to trick me into leaving him, but that was not something I was going to entertain. I held of his jacket and I climbed, slipping once before gaining my equilibrium. Scared or not, I was going to have to treat this like any other problem. I went through many scenarios, and none was any more pleasant than the other. It made sense to follow my father’s directions to the letter.
“There’s no way I’m going to allow you to sacrifice yourself for me. You might think what you’re doing is right, but you will leave me in a position of weakness. Whatever evil remaining inside me will latch onto my grief and become a sort of lifeline which I won’t be unable to resist.” I didn’t know if it was true, but I needed him to believe it.
“You have always been stronger than you think. I don’t know what’s going to happen; that’s entirely up to fate. I will fight tooth and nail to stay with you, but you must continue on without me because Damien is counting on you. The shrouds will not be very forgiving. I will make sure they choke on me.”
My feet were on his shoulders and I propelled myself as far as I could with the strength of my legs giving me the added boost. The ice did sound like it was cracking underneath me, but I saw no visible signs. I saw my father’s hands slipping and looked behind to see the arrow barely staying in contact with the hard packed ice it had penetrated. His hands disappeared and without even a second thought, I slid across and found myself grabbing onto him with no regard for my own safety.
The shriek of the shrouds gave me the indication they weren’t very happy with me. The sound was deafening, like they were purposely trying to distract me from the task at hand. It was a good thing I had the right frame of mind to grab onto the wire with my other hand. It was the only thing preventing me from joining my father who was this close to dying.
“You shouldn’t have done this! It’s better that one of us lives than none of us. I know your heart was in the right place, but you might have done more harm than good.”
I could feel the slack of the wire, and it could only mean the arrow was getting ready to let go. If I didn’t act quickly, then all of this was going to be for nothing.
I never did take into consideration it would be this hard, but I knew in my head it was dangerous to take this journey. I never fully understood what that meant. I looked up at the shrouds and they seemed to be waiting with bated breath. They would’ve been happy with just one, but both of us would have fed them for quite some time. I got the feeling they were waiting for the both of us to die.
The only solution was to bring him up 1-inch at a time with both of us working together. He was grateful when he finally was where he could take a breath of relief. The shriek got louder with obvious disappointment. I smiled, thinking we had gotten one over on them.
I didn’t know why they were complaining when they were probably going to have another chance to collect on their bounty. We had escaped the jaws of death twice already, and we were pressing our luck.
“I doubt it’s going to get any easier, Gillian. You’d think coming back down won’t be as hard, but we are going to have to come back the same way unless we can find another less daunting route.” My father was always the optimist, but he accepted failure in order to learn from it. He found the only option was to protect me, and most likely weighed the pros and cons to come up with the only answer.
“I want you to hold onto that possib
ility. You’re my father; if there is another way I’m sure you’ll be able to find it.” The whisper of the shrouds was right there in my consciousness. I only had to allow them entry and I would hear their thoughts like I had when I was unconscious.
I hadn’t told my father any of this, not quite believing it myself, but I knew in my heart the shrouds were trying to communicate once again. I was reluctant to let them speak, thinking that maybe they would be able to convince me to do something to cause me to lose my life.
We got to the other side and had barely taken one step before the ice bridge collapsed. One more second and everything we had been working for was going to be for nothing. We would still lose the battle, and the risk we had taken would’ve been an unfortunate demonstration in stupidity. I felt like Damien was worth whatever we put ourselves through.
“Gillian, I thought for a moment we were going to have to climb straight up, but the landscape is remarkable similar to what we’ve already attempted and succeeded in conquering.”
The only huge stumbling block was the thinning air. We had to control our breathing by using a tried and true meditation technique.
The flower was up there waiting for us to retrieve it and bring it back to Damien in hopes of giving him a chance to make a recovery. It was a slim hope, but we would’ve felt stupid not to try. Julian was instrumental in finding the other ingredients; of course, nothing compared to the trek to the top of the mountain. We all had our parts to play, and I was up to the challenge.
I had been close to madness a few months ago and not even the love of William was enough to pull me away. I needed the concentrated effort of him and my loved ones to bring me to a logical state of mind. It felt right to destroy everything; there were still moments I wanted to commit genocide. It would have been so satisfying to see the world burn, but this was the evil speaking, not me.
“I couldn’t have made the climb again, and I’m glad we don’t have to, father. I don’t want you to do something crazy again. I know you thought it was the only way, but we need to discuss these things before you take matters into your own hands.”
I felt like he needed to know how I was feeling and to put himself in my shoes. It was the only way he was going to learn.
“I will always do what I think is right. I don’t like the look in your eyes, and I was worried how close you came to relying on the darker arts. You’re not alone anymore; it doesn’t matter if I feel we are running out of time. You can ask me why I do these insane stunts, but the answer will still be the same. Family is my lifeline, and our bloodline needs to survive at any cost. You have always been the future, and the sooner you embrace that, the more likely you’ll be able to figure out your path.”
He was in front of me, and the shrouds were still there hanging back, but still very much shadowing over everything. Suddenly, one of the shrouds had broken through my consciousness or maybe I had left mine. I wasn’t really sure and it really didn’t matter.
“We don’t meant to intrude, but in this state of being, we don’t even know how much time has elapsed. Life for us is a never-ending hell. I’m not just saying that to get your sympathy. We’re not the only ones here, and they feed on us as much as we feed on them. It’s a vicious cycle.”
“I want to help, but how am I supposed to be assured of your sincerity. The other one was unhinged and would have gladly fed on me. The only reason he didn’t was that you convinced him there was more at stake. I have the feeling I know who you are, but it’s not a foregone conclusion.”
The shrouds had to be the manifestation of the banished, living in darkness and surviving on scraps of magic they could somehow taste on the wind. It was the only explanation that made any sense, and I would be foolish to think otherwise.
“I don’t know what to tell you other than we are victims as much as anyone. We’ve suffered indignities. It has become something we abhor, and I don’t know if we will ever be the same again after what we’ve done to live.
“Survival has become a way of life, but we don’t know any other way. I’ve been able to keep myself from losing it by clinging to the family waiting for me. You don’t know how hard it has been to keep the others from luring you to your demise.”
I was having a spirited discussion with a shroud and he seemed to be of sound mind. It could’ve been nothing more than a last-ditch effort to escape, but I had no idea if their imprisonment was warranted. There were still so many unanswered questions, but I felt compelled to really listen to their argument. This one, in particular, had my undivided attention.
“Don’t get me wrong, I feel for you deeply, like I have touched a small piece of what you have gone through. It feels quite intense and I don’t know how you have kept yourself from becoming mad.”
I made a conscious effort to follow my father’s footsteps, not deviating from them and hoping he somehow knew what he was doing. I didn’t want a repeat performance of trying to keep the hand of death from claiming us as one of its victims.
“I understand the skepticism, and I would probably feel the same way. A decision is going to have to be made by either you or me. It’s far better for you to invite us than for us to take it by force.”
It was giving me options, but giving it an invitation was too easy. If I did that and it was the wrong thing, then I would have only myself to blame for subjecting the community to this new evil. I’d already done enough to garner their mistrust. Anything more and I would be ostracized and no doubt made an example of like the banished.
“I don’t want to do anything without considering everything, but I understand the desperation in your voice. I’ve been responsible for making some very difficult decisions that haven’t exactly gone my way. I’m going to have to look at this from every angle to determine what to do. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s the only answer I have for you. I need you and the others to be patient a little while longer. It’s asking a lot, and I don’t blame you for feeling abandoned. I know that feeling better than anyone.”
My father put his hand up to stop my progression, and I looked toward the horizon and saw a tendril of smoke in the distance.
“I don’t know how it’s possible, but somebody is here with us. I have to wonder why they are here. We’ll take a cautious approach and won’t do anything until we know what we’re dealing with.”
He was only saying what I was already thinking, but I was curious enough to give whoever this was the benefit of the doubt.
“You don’t…trap…not what you think…stop…too late.”
There were several voices talking at the same time as if the shrouds were sounding off a warning. They were twisted sentences and fragments that encouraged me to be more aware of what was going on around me.
“It doesn’t seem possible for somebody to survive in these elements.” I wanted to get my father’s attention, but he was drawn to it like some kind of unseen force. “Don’t do anything until you think it through, father.”
This was the advice my father had given to me, and it was time for him to take his own advice without making the error of jumping in feet first too quickly.
“I need to go to her. Don’t you hear her calling me? I want to know how this is possible! I won’t rest until I find out.”
He sounded like he had lost touch with reality, and it was going to take me to pull him back from the abyss before he was swallowed whole. I tried to pull him back, but he was insistent to the point of giving me an expression that made my blood run cold. I put my hands up in surrender to signal I was no threat.
“Don’t you see this is wrong? If it looks to be too good to be true, then it probably is. Take a moment and take a breath in that order. Calm yourself down. You need to make a rational decision without going off half cocked.”
“You don’t understand. I’m not even sure I understand how this could possibly be. She needs me, and I will not let her down.”
My only saving grace was he did stop for a moment and take that breath I had men
tioned. I stayed with him so I could be the voice of reason, but I knew deep down he was dead set with one goal in mind.
“Make me understand. I need to know why this is so important to you. Whatever this is can’t be good; we both know that. I didn’t want to say anything, but the shrouds have been screaming nonstop like they’re trying to warn us. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but the fragments call for us to be careful.”
He stopped for a moment, as if my words had gotten through to him, but then he turned and placed both hands on my shoulders.
“They are fooling you into thinking miracles can’t happen. This is beyond my wildest dreams come true. She needs me, and you don’t know how that feels.”
This thing had a hold on him, and I had no choice but to go along for the ride.
“I don’t know what you think this is, but I think it would be best for you to tell me.”
Instead of saying anything, he continued toward a figure covered in fur, sitting by a fire with their hands outstretched to the warmth.
“I thought I lost her. It wasn’t my fault. I tried to dissuade her, but she was determined. What she did caused people to act without thinking. I still can’t believe they did it. I fought them, but it wasn’t enough.”
He made no sense, but then the figure stood and turned with a dramatic pause for effect.
“Go…run…hide…only yourself to blame…not her…not her…not her.”
It was a deafening exchange of ideas. The shrouds were determined to break whatever spell my father was under. Only I heard their voices, and I could only convey a sense of urgency to my father.
The figure pulled back the fur hood covering her face and what I saw couldn’t be possible. Standing with open arms was my mother.
Chapter Fifteen
There was no way anybody could speak at a time like this. My mind was trying to wrap itself around the fact that my mother was standing right there. I had no idea what was happening, and I had to take into consideration the possibility of having a mental breakdown. It would certainly explain all the strange things happening lately. I didn’t want to believe my mind was that fragile, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.