“They have a collection of the things. The one they’re playing for now was one taken from a Sheik’s bar in the Middle East. It’s especially valuable because it was a bar ornament made of gold.”
“No shit!” I gasp, wondering how they got their hands on the thing.
“Bear sent Jake and Brass over there last month to find his missing cousin. Apparently, a Sheik’s missing female cousin was a huge international scandal or something. They found her in the UK with her friends and returned her to her home. He was so grateful he offered them anything they wanted,” she laughs, making me boom out a laugh myself.
“He took an umbrella?”
Danny schools her face and gives me her best serious expression.
“Ah, but this wasn’t just any cocktail umbrella. It’s gold and obtained from the palace of a very wealthy Sheik.”
“And the others they play for?”
“They have to be stolen from someone dangerous. Bear played with one he took from the glass of a Russian mobster. Hawk got his in Mexico when he was involved in a gun fight with some cartel members who’d kidnapped the daughter of a politician, and Lynx stole his from the hair of a passed-out bridesmaid.”
“How was she dangerous?” I snort, giggling hysterically when the contest ends with Wolf belching loudly and claiming his prize with a yell of triumph.
“She’d had at least four tequila shots and was gagging in her sleep. He snatched it just before she erupted like a volcano.”
I laugh harder when she giggles at the end and look over in time to see Wolf staring at me. The hair at my nape rises, and I shiver when Danny takes a deep breath and turns to me.
“Bear told me what happened with you and Wolf. I’m so sorry, Lor.”
“Don’t be, Danny. It just wasn’t meant to be, is all.”
“Did he tell you everything when he went out to see you?”
“Yes.”
“Then, you know…?”
“That he’s a Borg with no emotions? Pretty much.”
“But you won’t…give him a chance?” she asks softly, hopefully, making me feel like hell.
Yeah, I’ve been over this in my head a million times, and every single time I want to drop my decision down a long abyss and jump to the other side where I imagine Wolf is.
I can’t though! Dammit, doesn’t anyone get how hard this is for me?
“I’m with Jackson, Danny. He’s a good guy. He’s sweet, and he really likes me. We could fall in love.”
We could. But is it fair to lead him on and try to love him? The scenario makes me feel wretched because, just as I hate the thought of Wolf having to try to love me, Jack deserves the real thing.
“You could, and you could live happily ever after in your perfect house with your beautiful kids and be deliriously happy until the day you die an old lady in her bed,” she says, her kind blue eyes with their strange flecks smiling at me in understanding. “Or you could regret it and always ask yourself if you made a huge mistake taking the safe way out instead of playing the odds.”
“You want me to give Wolf another chance.”
“No. I want you to think with more than the fear you have inside you. I was so mad at Bear for so long. I really thought I wouldn’t ever see him again, and you know, that hurt. As much as he hurt me and betrayed my trust, I loved him. It wasn’t smart or safe, and believe me, Lori, it was not easy to let it all go and ask myself the one question that I didn’t want to ask.”
“What was that?” I prompt, rapt when she smiles at me softly and pats my cheek.
“I had to stop, push everything else away, and ask myself if I wanted to live without him.”
Oh God.
“So, do you?”
“I—”
“Okay, it’s official. I am done looking at cool stuff, and I’m going to lavish you with my undivided attention,” Jack says from behind me, kissing my mouth quickly and shooting Danny a grin. “This place is awesome, and your mom is my new favorite person. I want to tuck her in my pocket and run off with her.”
Danny being Danny, she can’t resist Jack’s charm, not that anyone can, because the man is just that nice, and wags a playful finger at him.
“You’d die a slow death, buster. I happen to love my Mama Rain. She’s mine.”
“Darn, well,” he sighs. “I guess I’ll have to be content with having the sexiest girlfriend on the planet, then.”
Aaaw, now how is a girl supposed to discount that out of hand? The truth is that I can’t. Jack may not make me feel hot and passionately wild when he looks at me, but he’s everything right. I need right, even if it’s not a relationship that will carry all the way through to marriage and babies.
“You’re too cute! Come on and walk a pregnant old lady to the buffet.” Danny giggles, taking Jack’s arm and winking at me.
“Can I steal your guy? My feet are killing me, and he can prop me up while I stuff my face.”
“Steal away.”
“Be back soon, babe. Do you want anything?”
I shake my head and watch them go, feeling suffocated as I look around and see the crowd all around me. The old feelings rise again, and I need to get the hell out of here now before I blow a fuse.
Turning quickly, I practically run from the room, and before I know it or can stop myself, I’m going down the basement steps and standing in front of the cell I used to occupy.
It’s nothing more than a cordoned-off little room with a steal door to bar the way. Opening the door, I walk in and breathe through the memories that take me, feeling somehow comforted at the sight of the little table with the broken leg and the cot with its fluffy pillow and high thread count sheets and blanket.
Luxury imprisonment, I think, chuckling as I sit on the cot and stare at the wall. So many memories. The time I tried to kill Wolf with the table leg and almost got him. The time he came down and spoke to me through the door. Hours of talking about everything and nothing, mostly getting me to tell him about Mom and Dad and laugh about Grangran and her weird sayings.
The first time we made love. The way he kissed me afterwards and held me like I was made of spun glass. The day he pulled me out of here and I thought he was letting me go upstairs.
“I love and hate this place at the same time.”
I gasp when he strolls in, hands shoved into the pockets of his dark grey pants, the white T-shirt rounding off the look, sexy though it should look uncoordinated.
“You look beautiful, Lori.”
I watch as he walks in and leans against the wall opposite me, crossing his ankles and watching me as I look down at my bright pink dress and the flip flops Danny made me put on the minute I got here because she can’t wear heels and won’t let me upstage her look.
“Thank you.”
“It’s true, so no thanks needed. You look tired, Lor.”
“I am tired. I spent all night making booties and trying to come up with a certain stitch that just isn’t possible, no matter what the article said. I almost ripped an entire row out when it looked like mangled hair gut. It actually came out pretty well.”
I’m babbling, but seriously, I am nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof, being alone in here with him, cocooned against the rest of the world.
“I like that guy, Jack. I want to hate him, but he’s too cool to deserve it. Fucking sucks.”
That makes me grin because Wolf is a fair guy, and that’s one of the things I lo—like about him. Jack is cool, really cool. But he isn’t Wolf, and I hate that that is the first thing I think in answer to a statement that is kind and in no way sexual like I expected.
“He is cool. On our first date, I wasn’t…really great to be around, but he never once made a nasty comment or got annoyed. Just asked if he could see me again, and again after that, and by the time I knew it, we were a thing and…it was nice to be with someone who doesn’t expect anything from me but my company,” I say, grimacing when he looks away and huffs a breath.
“I’m glad for you. I gues
s he gives you something I didn’t?”
What, like love? No, we haven’t gotten anywhere close to the L word, but I think we’re good together, in that I am with him when we’re together and he doesn’t push for anything more.
“Well, not really. He’s just a chilled-out kinda guy, is all. No pressure, and he doesn’t get mad when I don’t go further.”
I want Wolf to know that I can have sex any time I want, because I know that he’s been with other women after me. Not a great feeling, but I accept it, just like he has to accept that I will be with Jack.
Perhaps.
Wolf’s face goes hard, but another breath and small throat clearing sees him looking up at me with soulful eyes and this smile that’s sad and yet…
“Stop giving me that look! It won’t work.”
But it might, I think, when he drops to his knees between my legs and clamps gentle hands around my upper thighs. Wolf is quite a bit taller than me, so he’s actually looking down at me and so close I can smell the beer on his breath.
“What? This?”
His mouth takes mine in the next instant, the kiss soft and chaste and so not what I expected that I gasp, opening for his tongue without thought. Wet heat fills me throughout the tender exploration, and I’m already kissing him back and wrapping my legs around his hips when he pulls my panties aside and checks my arousal.
I should be ashamed at how wet I already am, my desire having spiked when I walked into the house and saw him. Wolf growls when he finds me slick and comes over me, pushing me to my back and fumbling for his fly.
He’s in me moments later, pushing in hard and deep, both of us moaning when he stills and pulses inside me, my channel filled to overfull with his hard length.
“Never been this good before. Never.”
No, it hasn’t, but then again, I have never had another, I think, crying out when he pulls back slowly and powers in even harder. The force slaps our skin together, his pelvis hitting my nub just right on every stroke.
“Tell me you want this. Me.”
He’s inside me already and feeling the evidence of my want, but I hear the note of pleading in his voice, and while saying it is not easy, I can’t make myself stop the words that stutter out on a strangled moan.
“I want you.”
I completely forget Jack, the cell, the memories, and every other reason I shouldn’t let this happen, my body knowing what it wants and taking over as Wolf starts making love to me, thrusting hard and sure in a rhythm that is sure and strong and speaks of his lust.
It’s not gentle. I don’t think a man like Wolf can be gentle when he’s filling me to the brim, but it’s tender and acutely sweet in its own way. Wet heat meets hard, driving thrust. There’s no finesse, no classy sweet words to use when he pushes me to the edge.
I can hear where we meet, my juices slipping all over him, his sweat and breath washing over me when he thrusts and thrusts over and over, building me up to a peak that has me screaming when I shatter and bow into his possession.
He stills as soon as my contractions start and snarls into my throat, his body going limp over me when he’s done. My heart is racing when he lifts up and kisses me, the affectionate nuzzle causing something inside me to clench, reject the feelings that devastate my senses.
“If any man could love you more than life itself, it would be me. Give me a chance. Please.”
He asks so solemnly I’m humbled by the sincerity and vulnerability he lets me see. This is a side of Wolf I haven’t seen before because he’s never let me see him.
He can be cheeky, derisive, molten hot and sexual, scary, cold, but never vulnerable, and my throat closes at the sight.
“I’m not saying yes and committing myself to anything. But I will talk to Jack and break it off because what I just did is so wrong.”
I feel guilt engulf me, but it’s not stronger than the hopefulness I struggle to push away, nor is it stronger than the way I fill up inside when he gives me another loving nuzzle and pulls out of me, righting my clothes before pulling me up and dropping a kiss on my hair.
“Love is never wrong, Lori.”
“You don’t love me, Wolf,” I point out, pausing at the door to look at him over my shoulder.
“You love me though, and that’s the light leading me through the darkness.”
Chapter Twelve
Lori
I’m ankle deep in mud when I hear a car coming down the road and look up to see…nothing. Huffing because I’m probably hearing things again—not easy to tell myself because we all know my paranoia is legendary—I keep on slopping through the mud that is now my vegetable garden and ask myself for the tenth time why I decided I could deal with planting a garden.
I know nothing about gardening, save for Grangran telling me only very special people can grow stuff. She was mostly saying that in relation to my mom crying over another dead tomato vine and the shriveled-up stalks that once upon a time were pumpkins—I think—but she’s right, because one look at the poor bushes or things I just planted tells me I do not have what it takes.
“Well, it was worth a try.”
Pushing back towards the cabin, I look down at my clothes and grimace. The ground here is either harder than granite or a swamp, two extremes that make doing anything green a show of endurance.
I do not have that endurance, but after the long talk I had with Jack two nights ago, I needed something to take my mind off things, and knitting was not getting the job done.
Wolf calls me at least three times a day now, just little chats that have me swinging between utter softness and irritation because the man seems to have a penchant for phone sex that just…makes me horny.
I hate that word. I really do, but it’s the only one that fully describes what I feel when he growls a goodbye at me and hangs up. I think he’s trying to make me wildly unrestrained or something, and at this rate, the next time I see him, I’ll attack him like an animal.
Going inside, I keep breathing because I just feel…weird, and dump my muddy clothes in the laundry room before stomping to my bedroom in my bra and panties.
The phone rings just before I get there, and I dive for it with a zeal that isn’t smart.
“No more phone sex!” I yell, giggling under my breath.
“Hey, babe. I’m coming over tonight whether you like it or not, and I’m staying the whole week. I don’t like you living all the way out there by yourself.”
“We’ve had this talk.”
Quite a few times, actually. I’m not committed to anything with Wolf, despite the phone sex and all the talking. Wolf hasn’t pushed me as of yet, and I appreciate that, but he’s got a lot of opinions about my place and the security issue it poses.
He’s been here once, one time, and he suddenly thinks he’s got a right to insult my home. Typical.
“And you never listen. It’s too remote for you out there all alone.”
“It’s just outside my town, on the outskirts. If I walk down the lane, I can see it in the distance,” I laugh, getting the creeps when his words make me think of the car I heard but didn’t see.
“It’s not safe for you, and your doors and windows aren’t safe either. Lyon and I are coming over to do some checks this afternoon, so leave a key when you go to the store so we can get in.”
Oh, the gall, I think, laughing into the phone.
“Don’t throw your orders at me, Wolf Wylder.”
“Please.”
Agh! The man has found the secret to every battle I wage, and I don’t know what to do with this new Wolf. I can’t win an argument with him if he stops it dead with one soft word. Please. Indeed.
“Fine, but you aren’t messing with anything, and if you paw through my drawers, I will kill you,” I warn, rolling my eyes at his chuckle.
“Just tell me what’s in there and I won’t look. What is it? Sexy lingerie?”
Er, no. I have something a little more than some sexy lingerie, but blame Dr. Morris for that! Therapy ses
sion after therapy session, I talked to her and then eventually confessed my physical needs.
I gotta love a sexually liberated shrink who believes in sex toys. Not that it worked all that well. I think I used it once, not even all the way, and then abandoned the attempt when I couldn’t do it without lube. Yuuuuuck.
“Lori?” he asks slowly, and I can hear the grin in his voice.
“Shut up, and do not paw through my things. Now, I’ll see you later, but just dinner! You aren’t staying over.”
“I’ll take the couch.”
“You’ll go home. You invited yourself over. It’s not a date, and, Wolf, don’t try the please thing with me again, because it will only work once or twice a day and your quota is up.”
I slam the phone down on his laughter and grab a shower before driving into town. The store is a new experience for me, and just walking into the place gives me a sense of pride that I can’t shake.
“Hey, Miz Lori.”
“Hey, Clyde, I’m not getting in your hair today, just need to go into the office and check on the paperwork before I leave you to it,” I promise.
“Sure thang, Miz Lori. I’ll get you some coffee from the pot!”
An hour later, I’m done and not at all sure what to do with myself. I should go home, but I do not want to be around when Wolf gets there, because I know I’d just end up in bed with him, and that is a no-go for right now.
The sex down in the basement may have led to me cutting poor Jack loose and accepting that we weren’t going anywhere, but it did not make me change my mind about where I’m going with Wolf.
The man wants me to just let go and try to be with him, which sounds reasonable to even me, but I’m not sure I can do this. The truth is that I shouldn’t have even slept with him that first time, if I’m honest, because I’ve had some time to think things through and, you know what, I am still pissed off about the way he got me to sleep with him that first time.
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