Meek is healthy, if not happy, and that’s a lot more than I could claim a few years ago. The biggest problem I have is Rory. I should be ecstatically happy.
And yet I find that I am not. And I don’t know why.
“Leila?”
Looking up, I see Lyon leaning against the porch, his sweaty, naked chest doing things to my girl parts that make sitting in his mom’s company indecent and immoral.
He looks concerned, and I hate myself for ruining a good day because it is a good day.
“Yeah?”
“You okay, babe?”
Suck it up and dance, Leila, I yell, wanting to set things to rights because I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, so what is the use of worrying Lyon?
“Fine. Just thinking about Meek. Sorry. Didn’t mean to be a bummer. Nice playing, by the way.” I grin, checking him out to the delight of all the women present.
Lyon grins, just as I intended, and I feel myself relax again, dumbfounded when I realize that his mood affects mine and vice versa. Oh God, oh God, it was like that before, and it didn’t end well.
“I think I have a solution though,” he says, coming over to pull me up and steal my seat, my ass going firmly into his lap while the other men jog over and grab beers.
“Yeah?” I ask, perking up because I love Meek but if she doesn’t start cheering up soon, I may just lock her in her room and slide crackers under the door.
She’s seriously bumming me out, man.
“Yeah! So, you know how Lynx always wanted to do construction? He and Pop are starting a company in the next few months, and they need someone to do all the paperwork and that kind of stuff.”
I frown because Lynx has been working with the other guys for a while now, and I just assumed he was going to keep with it.
“Really? That’s great, Lynx. You’ve wanted this for a while,” I say, really happy for him because I know what he always wanted and eight years is a long time to wait for it.
He grins, and I see Bear smile, along with Wolf, and even Hawk cracks a smirk.
“Yeah. I didn’t complete my engineering degree, but at least I’ll be on site, and I have the experience. With Pop around and his experience, we should do okay.”
“Okay? Bro, you’ve already landed a major contract and you don’t even have offices yet,” Wolf says proudly.
Lynx blushes and shrugs while looking at me earnestly.
“I’d really appreciate any help. If Mika wouldn’t mind doing menial office work, she’s got the job. I know she has some big economics degree or whatever and she’s used to a high-paying job in that field.”
“She’ll take anything at this point,” I rush out, throwing my arms around him, to Lyon’s irritation.
“Great. Why don’t you call her and get her to come over? She must be alone at home, and we could always iron things out now so she can start immediately.”
I do as he suggests, and I swear Meek practically throws herself at him when she hears the news, her laughter making me settle a little. See, this is the part I like about this new relationship I have with Lyon. He doesn’t mind that Mika is an important part of my life, and doesn’t complain about her constant presence the way Rory does.
He loves her too, and they get along great.
“Oh my God, I love you, Lynx Wylder!” she yells, giggling when Alric whines that he’s her boss too and deserves some love.
Hawk looks none too happy, I notice, but he doesn’t say anything when Lynx throws Mika over his shoulder and carries her inside because Rain’s calling for lunch.
My eyes narrow at the look on his face, but I’m distracted when Lyon starts kissing my neck and whispers to me that he needs to clean up before we sit down and he wants me to…ahem, scrub his back.
I follow him upstairs, giggling my head off because Wolf whistled and sent us a knowing smile and Lori made an actual sex reference that has me blushing to the roots of my hair.
But I do take her advice, and twenty minutes later, after a very nice encounter with my man, I float downstairs and don’t even cringe at the looks of amusement I get.
Until I waltz home later and notice that I have a huge hickey on my throat.
Damn Lyon.
Chapter Thirteen
Lyon
The heat is sweltering and so unavoidable I feel sweat trickle down my back in a steady stream. I’m sitting in a room with four other men, sweating my ass off while watching a fat Irish guy make an arms deal and shove food in his face.
God, I love this job, I think, sighing when Wolf throws me a bottled water and sits down beside me. The big ass looks like he’s about to expire, and I can’t blame him for complaining about this job.
Two weeks of blending in the middle of the Iraqi desert has not been easy. Harder still when you consider we’re a man down since Lynx walked, and Bear had to come on this job because Jake, Brass, and Houston are providing security for some fat cat in the capitol.
And he whines, man. You’d swear he’s been away from Danny for months the way the big baby keeps pining and looking at us like it’s our fault.
“Just fuck off home already!” Wolf growls, sucking at his teeth when Bear looks at his wallet album for the fourth time in an hour.
Bear growls right back and tucks it in his pocket, sighing again.
“Screw you, man. She’s pregnant and I worry. You’re not any better, crying at night when you call Lori,” he accuses.
Idiot. I don’t call Leila, because she told me it makes her nerves finished just thinking about me away on these jobs. I felt bad for all of two seconds before she told me not to give her the eyeball because she actually likes that I’m doing my dream job and she’ll get over it.
I also haven’t called because I’m a coward and I’m afraid to hear what she has to say lately. Something’s off with her, and instead of nagging her the way I would have before, I give her space. Which makes me feel more on edge, and I can’t do my job if I’m on edge.
So, yeah, I am the only cool one here at the moment, and all I can do is crow and throw them superior looks. Even if they’re all lies.
“I don’t cry. I never cry, loser. I just tell her all that stuff because she needs to hear it,” he snarls, blushing because it’s true.
For a guy who spent eight years feeling nothing—I am not kidding, he felt nothing, not even fear—he’s turned into a real peach with his woman. He calls her constantly, tells her he loves her, and it gets worse when you consider that they have this habit of engaging in phone sex.
Disgusting.
I tried it with Leila, and she shrieked at me that I was making her hot with nothing to stave off the need. Yeah, I agree since I had to jerk off later that night just to sleep.
“How’s Leila?” Bear asks, changing the subject abruptly.
I shrug because I honestly do not know.
“She’s okay. I don’t call her when we’re out because she says she’ll kill me if I get killed and it messes with her head. She was okay when I left. I think,” I huff, thinking back to the morning she kissed me goodbye.
Something was definitely wrong with her, but short of demanding answers, I have no clue what’s going on with her.
“You think?” Bear presses, picking up my mood.
“Dunno. She was being cagey, and I didn’t want to push her to talk. It’s bugging me though, man. Leila’s pretty basic. If something bugs her, she tells me. Usually.”
“Cagey how?” Wolf persists, eyes narrowing.
“How the fuck should I know! I just told you I don’t want to push her on this. We’re doing things casual right now until she’s ready to commit.”
“Big mistake,” Wolf grunts, downing his water like he’s going into dehydration.
“Yeah, man. Look, I don’t want to interfere after my last epic fail with you and Leila, but I have to be honest here. You ended badly, and I get that she took it hard, but you giving her all this space isn’t doing you any favors. Look at me and Danny. I let her have
her space after I fucked up, and it took a damn long time for her to finally come back to me. And Wolf, Lori almost left his ass. I understand space, but sometimes women need a strong reaction, man.”
“Strong reaction? What should I do, Bear? Tie her to the bed until she agrees to love me back?” I yell, snarling because I would do it if I thought it would work.
Honest to God, I don’t know why I thought I could do all this space and waiting shit. It just isn’t me.
“No, asshole. Just tell her you need more. Women understand that lovey-dovey shit. And honestly, Lyon, if you can’t see that the woman already loves you like crazy, then you are blind,” Wolf says, laughing when I blush because it makes me feel good.
Fucking pansy.
I get what they’re saying though. I have been really off with her, doing things out of character because I don’t want to push her away. The old Lyon would have waited outside her job for hours to catch her off-guard and steal under her defenses.
And that right there is my problem. Leila has all these walls in place, and I’ve been trying to work my way through a maze instead of jumping walls to get to the heart of it.
I need to work harder, be me, not some pansy with a soft heart and a leash on my dick.
“Ah, he finally gets it.”
“Shut up, Bear,” I warn, scowling when they laugh at me.
I’m saved from further heart-to-hearts when our target moves and money changes hands.
“Let’s go!”
Trailing a guy with enough security to staff the White House isn’t easy, and I’m still sweating an hour later when we follow them onto an airfield, the lights cutting off as Wolf pulls up just on the perimeter, and we fall out of the Jeep.
This is where I am at my best lately, and I relish the rush of adrenalin when we ghost behind buildings and make it all the way to a hangar where our target is waiting while they load a shit ton of ammo, weapons, and explosives on the plane.
Bear’s signal sends me to the back where I find a secondary entrance and slip in undetected, my gun unholstered as I shift behind some machinery and crouch down, keeping an eye out for Wolf, where he’s jumping between two helicopters to find a hiding place.
I don’t even know where the hell Bear is, but I’ve seen that asshole in action before, and he could be right behind our target without ever being seen. He’s that fucking scary good at covert ops.
The next ten minutes see them wrapping it all up, and I’m moving just as the security guys turn away, jumping for the target so fast he can’t even yell before I grab him around the neck to cut off his air supply.
He’s out in ten seconds flat, and I have him on the plane and tied to the bed in back before anyone can make a move. I’d kill him, but he has places to be and some very nasty government people to see before he gets his day.
Now we have to take out the guys outside and make sure this plane is handed over to the right people before our jobs are done. Shots ring out, and I grin, diving through the door and going into a roll as I shoot the first, second, and third targets I spot.
Bear’s is all over the place, and my respect for him shoots through the roof when his clip is empty and instead of reloading he tucks into a jump and uses the element of surprise to kick the hell out of the guy coming at him.
KO. Lights out. Wolf isn’t sitting on his laurels either, his guns muzzle flashing return fire in a rapid ratatatat. Minutes is all it takes to clear the place, and when I grin at Bear, it’s a victory smile that lasts for less than seconds when I see his eyes widen and his arm come up.
“No!”
Pain hits my back just as he yells, and I feel my lower body give out just before he unloads his second piece into someone behind me.
“Wolf! Goddammit! Get over here!”
He’s panicking, and I feel like shit when he looks down at me with wet eyes, his hands shaking. I feel fire in my back, and my vision is going dim. Numbness spreads all over me, blanketing me.
I try to move, to talk and tell Bear that it’s okay, but all I can manage is a croak as I feel the warm, wet heat of blood pooling beneath me.
“Wolf! Call Jeffries and get a fucking bus in here! Lyon, stay with me, man. Don’t you close your eyes! Lyon!”
His yells are loud but dimming fast, and before my eyes close, I have one thought.
I love you, Leila.
Leila
I’m half asleep when loud banging has me jumping straight up in bed, my heart pounding so hard I feel it reach my throat.
“Leila!”
Hawk’s shout is frantic, and I leap up instinctively and run for the front door, adrenalin spurring me on as Mika comes barreling out, her face pale.
The door is just unlatched when he pushes in, breathing hard, his face white, whiter than I have ever seen it. My chest hurts immediately, and my knees buckle when Hawk gives me this look, this look that…
“No.”
He catches me before I can hit the ground and pulls me into him, his arms anchoring me as I start screaming and sobbing, fighting him off like a madwoman.
“No! No! Please don’t,” I beg, feeling everything inside me come to an immediate halt and freeze over.
The pain is unimaginable, so stark I can’t breathe and gasp in choked breaths.
“They airlifted him to Germany, and they’re working on him now. Leila, listen to me please, babe. He’s alive. Wolf and Bear got him to a hospital so fast he didn’t have time to bleed out.”
Hearing those words doesn’t make the pain any better, but hearing that he isn’t dead achieves the goal of getting my lungs to inflate again, and I look up at Hawk with nothing less than terror on my face.
“What happened?” Mika barks when all I can do is open and close my mouth, depending on Hawk’s strength to keep my standing.
“They went on a recon and recovery. Some very bad people were buying arms from some worse people, and it was their job to recover them before they left the country. Lyon took a slug to the back before Bear could shoot the fuck. He’s okay though, Leila, I swear to God,” he rushes out, hugging me again, this time because even he can’t hide the fear he feels.
“Hawk, I have to get to him,” I whisper through the tears that haven’t stopped, so desperate I can’t hold still when he pushes me away.
“Get dressed. I have a senator’s plane standing by, and everyone is already on the way.”
I dress without seeing what I’m throwing on and run to the car with Mika on my ass, the door slamming, just barely before Hawk is pulling off and flooring the engine.
I have questions to ask, so many questions, but I can’t speak a word when it all comes crashing down on me. Oh God, oh God, I never told him I love him and want him and I can’t live without him.
I don’t even let him call me when he’s away on a job because I’m such a wreck most of that time that I couldn’t deal with it and make him feel good about it.
“Leila, honey, you need to calm down and breathe. Please. I know you’re scared, and I am too, but we won’t be any help if we fall apart. You need to breathe, okay?” Hawk says softly just as he screams into the airfield where a huge private jet is waiting.
All the Wylders are on board when we hop inside, save for Bear and Wolf, who are with Lyon.
“Oh, honey, come here,” Rain says, waving me over and hugging me tight when I fall into her and sob. “Ssshh, he’ll be just fine. He’ll be okay, Leila. A mom knows these things.”
Her words don’t comfort me, because I don’t deserve comfort. I’ve been holding Lyon at arm’s length for weeks now, and I haven’t once shown him that he means everything to me. The man I love could die without knowing that I love him and will die without him.
Because I will. I am not being melodramatic. It’s the honest truth. This time I won’t survive the pain, and especially when I think that I will have to live in a world devoid of him.
Before this, I lived, painfully, but I lived because I had the comfort of knowing that I might see him
one day. I didn’t believe it, but thinking of never seeing him again is so painful that suddenly I wonder how any of these people survived without Sparrow.
Oh God. Here I am, falling apart, and just look at poor Rain and Al. They’ve already lost one child. I can’t imagine they’d survive if they lost another.
Hours pass, and I don’t track much, but we land eventually and make it to the hospital faster than I can process. There we meet Bear and Wolf, who are covered in blood and deathly still where they’re huddled together in the waiting room.
“Bear. Wolf.”
They jump for Rain immediately and hug her before heading for their wives. I can’t believe my eyes when the legendary Wolf, who’s said to be ice cold, breaks down and practically falls on his wife.
That has my heart stopping, and I almost do fold before a strong arm wraps around me and I look up to see Al holding me up.
“It’ll be just fine, darlin’. Have faith,” he whispers, kissing my hair and shuddering when I hug him tight.
“He went in for a second time about an hour ago. The bullet hit him in the back, and he bled a lot. They closed up what they could, but he developed another bleed that they’re trying to repair now,” Wolf says after what feels like hours.
I pray. I pray as I never have before when Al pushes me into a chair, and all we can do is sit. And wait. And wait.
It’s mind-numbing and terrifying as one hour passes and then another without hearing a thing, and by the time the doctor does come to us, we’ve been there for two hours and everyone is ready to revolt.
“He’s stable. The second bleed was a tiny piece of the slug we didn’t get the first time around. We’ve stopped the bleeding, and he’s in recovery for another few minutes just to ensure that he’ll remain stable.”
I want to see him now! But I stay still and wait because I know I’m not the only one here freaking out and Rain will probably want to see him first. I’m sort of numb with relief anyway, so instead of throwing myself at the exhausted doctor, I sit quietly, waiting, praying, and begging Lyon not to die on me.
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