by Jodi Lamm
***
Maddy shifted uncomfortably beside Marcus on a burgundy loveseat in the parlor. This room, in which Lotte always received her guests, was never part of “home” to either of the Lavoie children. Maddy had always been hidden away before any guests arrived. Her brother often followed her, and together, assuming Lotte did not require her son’s presence, they would wait out the intrusion. Now, in a room ripe with secrets and unspoken questions, Marcus and Maddy faced the intruders together.
Maddy could hardly stand the silence. She fidgeted with her coat buttons for several minutes before she decided to write to Marcus—to finally express what she’d wanted to say to him for the last three days. I’m sorry for everything. I know I made life difficult for you.
Marcus took the book and read. “You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “You’ve come home. This is a celebration.” His tone did nothing to convince Maddy he was in a celebratory mood. “You’re ink is low,” he muttered. “Let me fill it for you.”
The ink wasn’t low at all, but when Maddy saw the look Marcus gave her, she handed him the little box and pen anyway.
Marcus filled the vial as though he had done it a million times before. Then he bent over her book to test it, scribbling on the page while he cleared his throat. “So… Mr. Taylor, is it?” He spoke to Will without looking up. “As you have your eye on marrying my sister, I feel I ought to ask how you intend to provide for her. Will you take sufficient care of her? Will she have a proper home? I hope you don’t plan to thrive on her inheritance, as she is not the legal heir to this estate.” He handed Maddy’s book back to her, as Will sputtered and failed to make any coherent answer.
When Maddy read what Marcus had written, she understood why he redirected the attention of everyone in the room. Her brother’s handwriting usually looked like artwork. She’d always envied it. But this message he had scrawled in a hurried, shaking hand: Don’t say a word to anyone. Meet me behind the stables tonight. Let no one see you come. I will answer your questions then.
Maddy felt the blood drain from her face. She was suddenly glad Eli was busy watching Will, who still hadn’t found the proper words to say in response to Marcus’ questions. She closed her book at once, and breathed deeply in a vain attempt to calm herself.
Marcus squeezed her hand in earnest, as Will finally found his voice. “I… You know, I do have a business,” he said.
“Do you?” Marcus smiled a wicked smile.
Before Will could respond, Lotte appeared in the doorway and told them her staff would have a supper ready shortly. She winked when she saw Marcus holding Maddy’s hand. “Your brother missed you, Maddy dear,” she said, as she made herself comfortable on the sofa.
“He’s not my brother,” Maddy grumbled.
Marcus squeezed his sister’s hand again. It didn’t make sense. Marcus, as Maddy knew him, did not behave this way. He was supposed to be cold and solitary, or lately, temperamental and solitary. But after an hour of listening to Lotte and Will chatter on like reunited old friends, Marcus still had not released her hand. Even when they rose and made their way to the dining room, he clung to her as though he had no intention of ever letting her go.
The Lavoie house had two dining rooms, and Maddy stared in shock upon finding they were to use the formal. Never once had she the honor of dining with guests in her mother’s finest room. Still part of her felt unspeakably lonely.
It’s Jas, she reminded herself. He’s alone. But she wasn’t convinced. Something about being here with her family, knowing she was not really one of them, emptied her of joy. Not even a week ago, she was her mother’s daughter and her brother’s sister. Now she was a stranger, having known them only three years. Now, not only was she not related to them, she was not even human like they were.
Marcus pulled two chairs together and sat beside his sister on one side of the table. Their mother took her place at the head, leaving the duke to sit beside William Taylor.
Will leaned back in his chair. “Your Grace, I must admit, seeing you here brings back a lot of unpleasant memories. My life was destroyed because of you. Now I learn you’re the one who locked my fiancée’s memory away before I even had the chance to know her. So I’m wondering if you can give me a single reason why I shouldn’t suspect your involvement with her or your motivations for being here.”
So much for subtlety.
Eli’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth. “Fiancée?” He cleared his throat. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“Absolutely not.”
Will did his best to look hurt. “Why not?”
“Because I know you too well. You lied to your mother the day you were born and you haven’t stopped lying since. Now look at you. You’ve made a career of lying and deceit. I must applaud you for that. You found your talent and ran with it.” He smiled wearily. “I also know that James won’t keep a secret from you, misguided as he is. You most definitely know what Lavoie’s daughter really is, which means, even if you’ve had a change of heart, you have no intention of marrying her.”
Marcus stood. “Think before you slander my sister, old man.”
Eli waved his hand dismissively. “Show some respect, son. It’ll earn you some in return.” He took a bite of his meal and dabbed at his mouth with his napkin before turning back to Will. “Listen, why do you still accuse me of ruining your life? Is it because James suddenly stopped seeing you? I disapproved of your friendship from the start, it’s true, but that poor boy adored you. He looked up to you, Taylor, and you broke his heart. Do you honestly think I forbade him to see you? God preserve me, if I did. He stayed away from you on his own because he couldn’t take any more disappointment.”
Will’s face reddened. “That’s not true.”
“Don’t delude yourself. I watched you boys interact every day. Maybe you hoped I wouldn’t notice, but who do you think comforted James while he watched his only friend become a degenerate liar? I never had the heart to tell him that’s what you’d been all along.”
Will gaped as though Eli’s words had caught him by the throat.
“I could say more, Taylor, so keep your own disgraceful mouth shut unless you want everyone at this table to know the last of your secrets. I have very little patience left for you.” Eli sawed mercilessly away at his pheasant. “I’ve done nothing if not show you endless kindness in the past. You should have been executed for treason years ago.
“As to your other accusations, that girl you call your fiancée was as good as dead when I found her. The only reason she’s still alive is because I locked her chaos away with her memory. She asked me to help her, so I did, and I placed her with the most loving family I could find. Lady Charlotte Lavoie has the means to support her and the proper heart for the task. What other woman would have loved her so well? I ask you. What other young man would have suffered through the long nights just to keep her safe?” He gestured to Marcus, who scowled back. “Everything I’ve done has been for the wellbeing of those I care about. Let that be clear, at least.
“My motivations for being here are simple. When I heard Lavoie’s secret daughter had gone missing, I knew James would find her and most assuredly bring her back here. Now that I have found them both, if all goes well, I intend to restore my son.” Eli paused to savor his wine. “Now I’ve explained myself to you, though you hardly deserved it, and I would like to finish my meal in peace.”
Maddy couldn’t take her eyes off Eli Mahler after that. It didn’t matter that the man had just torn her imaginary engagement to pieces. Just… could he really restore Jas? Suddenly, Eli became more than the man with familiar eyes. He was hope. She all but forgot the note from Marcus as she thought of ways to speak to the duke alone.
After supper, Maddy played piano for her mother’s guests. All the pieces she chose had bright and pleasant tones. She had practiced these pieces and learned them by heart, hoping to play them the day she was finally allowed to come out into society.
But tonight, she couldn’t shake the idea that she was just an elaborate musical box. The fact that she did not make one error when she played only compounded the feeling of artifice in her. For the first time in her life, she was ashamed of her talent. And that her brother knew, that Marcus had always known, made her wish she could go back into hiding forever.
***
Maddy’s mother and brother walked her to her rooms for the sake of ceremony, as they had no more need to secure her to her bedposts.
Lotte kissed her daughter goodnight. “You played so beautifully tonight, darling,” she said. “And you made me so proud.”
Marcus ran his fingers over the spines of Maddy’s books and smiled to himself. But his smile died the moment he saw the Titan, propped up at the foot of Maddy’s bed. “Mother, I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said, pointing to the body.
“Why ever not?” Lotte turned to her son.
“Because I don’t trust him and neither should you.”
“But he’s not in there, dear. It’s just a body.”
“I said I don’t trust him, Mother. He’s a Titan. Who’s to say he can’t find his way back into that body any time of the night and… and… you know? Where’s that man who says he’s marrying her? Why isn’t he here?”
Lotte chuckled. “He’s planning to sneak into the room after we’ve gone, I’m sure. You know your mother’s never wrong. Why not just relax?”
“You know why I can’t relax, Mother.”
Maddy sat up in her bed. “I don’t.”
Marcus turned to look at her.
“Did you say something, Maddy dear?” Lotte asked.
Maddy shook her head.
Lotte continued. “Well, Marcus, I think the Titan’s body is going to have to stay with your sister, unless you’re willing to battle her over it.”
“Not tonight.” Marcus sighed. “But I won’t sleep knowing it’s here.”
Lotte laughed and turned to go. “Of course not, dear. I don’t expect you to.”
When they had both gone, Maddy shouted insults after them and threw her blankets over her head to wait. Didn’t everyone just love chatting away in front of her as though she weren’t even there? “I am not a child,” she said to no one.
Tonight, she decided, after Will fell asleep, she would sneak out to meet Marcus and ask him all her burning questions. If he refused to answer her, she would find a way to drag the information from him. Kicking and screaming even.
11: Three Promises
The wait was excruciating. Maddy paced, huddled on her bed, and stood and looked out her window, but Will never joined her. After three hours, she decided he wasn’t coming at all. She threw her greatcoat over her shoulders and tiptoed barefoot into the hall, trying desperately to keep the floorboards from squeaking. “You’d better be there, Marcus,” she mumbled.
As she descended the stairs and turned toward the servant’s entrance, she heard her mother’s voice. “You don’t really intend to marry my daughter, do you?”
“Ah,” said a second voice. “I’m afraid not.” It was Will.
“I thought not.” Her mother sighed.
“It isn’t because…”
“Of course not.”
“It’s just, I wouldn’t make a suitable husband.”
“Because you’re a paid consort.”
Lotte had spoken so frankly that Will was stunned into silence. He coughed and sputtered when he found his breath. “I uh… I mean… How did you…” He paused and Maddy knew her mother had quieted him with a touch.
“After Soeren was killed, I considered ways to warm my bed again.” It was the first time Lotte had spoken her husband’s name in years. “You come highly recommended.” She laughed an embarrassed laugh. “But Madeleine entered my life and filled my heart before I had the chance to call on you. I’m lucky to have the opportunity to meet you under happier circumstances, William Taylor.”
Happier circumstances? Maddy clenched her teeth and continued on her way. She barely knew her mother or her brother. Neither of them were the people she’d thought they were. She slid Marcus’ mud boots onto her feet and ran toward the stables.
Enough. No more secrets. She wanted to know Charlotte and Marcus Lavoie for real, and she wanted them to know her. Maybe they could still be a family in the end. She dared to hope.
Heavy raindrops hit her face as she ran toward the stables, and in the dark, she almost collided with Marcus. He immediately threw a hand over her mouth and hurried her away. She tried to scream, but Marcus stifled it with even more pressure. “Hush,” he hissed when they had gone some distance. “The Titan’s asleep. We have to get away from him.”
When they were several yards from the stables, Marcus broke into a run and pulled Maddy after him. “Come on. We’ve got to get as far as the river.”
Maddy glared at the back of his head. The river? “No!” She shouted at him. “You tricked me! You’re going to drown me!”
Marcus pulled her with more force. “Come on, Maddy,” he said. “I know you can move faster than that.”
He was right, and she showed him just how fast she could move. She pushed off the ground and shoved him with all her weight. He fell back into the mud. “That’s for throwing me out of my home!” She kicked him. “And that’s for stealing my first kiss!” Her eyes filled with tears as she bent over him and slapped him. “And that’s for… That’s for…”
“That’s for lying to you,” Marcus finished for her and pushed himself to his feet. “Please, Maddy, let’s just get to the river.”
Maddy didn’t move. Had he heard her? “But how?”
“Please.” He pulled at her again. “You can beat me up as much as you want, once we get there.”
Maddy followed, too shocked to resist him now. “There’s no way you can hear me.”
Marcus said nothing, but trod steadily on ahead of her.
“Only Jas can hear me!” she shouted. Marcus did not respond. She followed him, pelting his back with her words. “You’ve never been able to hear me, and whatever trick you’re playing now, I’m not falling for it. This is all about Father’s coat, isn’t it? You’re such a child! You’ve hated me ever since that day. I remember how you ignored me, how tight you tied the cords every night. And now you think you can fool me, just like you tried to fool me then… kissing me the way you did. I knew it wasn’t a proper kiss. Jas is wrong about you. You’re not in love. I know how you really feel.”
Marcus stopped walking and whirled around to face her. “In love? Is that what he thinks?”
Maddy stood dumbfounded.
“Perfect.” Marcus planted his hands on his hips. “That works out well, don’t you think? Good. I’m in love with you. If anyone asks, I dragged you off tonight to propose.”
Maddy wanted to hit him again, but she resisted. “All this time,” she blinked back tears and sucked in a sharp breath, “you were listening to me?” She unclenched her fists and slowly unbuttoned her coat. “Three years, you lied to me.”
Marcus bowed his head. “I had no choice.”
“No choice? You liar! All you’ve ever been to me was a lie.” Maddy threw the greatcoat at him. “Keep it. It’s yours if it means so much to you. He wasn’t my father anyway, and you’re not my brother.”
Marcus choked. He snatched up the greatcoat and shoved it back into her arms. “Take it, take it, take it back. I’m giving it to you. Please!” His face was ashen, his eyes horrified. “Please,” he said more slowly, when he saw she wasn’t backing away. “You don’t understand.” He knelt down in the mud. “I’m begging you. Do you see? It’s yours. Don’t ever give it to anyone else. I… Father would have wanted you to have it.”
Maddy wrapped her arms around the coat to quiet him. “All that time, you could hear me. Why didn’t you say something?”
He shook his head. “I couldn’t, Maddy. If you knew how much I wanted to…”
“Why?”
“It was too dangerous. The Titan…” He
stood and took her hand. “Just come with me. Please.”
Marcus trudged the rest of the way without looking back. Maddy wouldn’t wear the greatcoat, but she carried it because she couldn’t bear to see him beg again. When they came to the river, he led her to an ancient willow tree that grew on its banks, parted the hanging branches, and invited her inside. There, they had a little shelter from the rain.
In that dark place, Marcus was little more than a shadow. Maddy could see the outline of him, but not his expression. She squeezed the greatcoat to her chest. She was alone with a stranger, and not just any stranger—a stranger who knew more about her than she did. She recalled all the things she had confessed to him when she thought he could not hear.
“Are you a Titan?” she said, more to herself than to him.
“No.”
“Then how do you hear me?”
He shifted in the dark, and she listened to every movement he made as though he were a symphony and she his audience. “Oh, Maddy,” he said after a long pause, “I wish I could tell you.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because the Titan will kill me if he finds out.” He took her hand in his and squeezed it. “One day, I’ll be able to tell you everything. We’ll have no secrets between us. But as long as you’re a slave to him, there will always be a barrier.” He swept a hand through the space between them. “I brought you here tonight to tell you what I can, and answer what questions I can. Did you… Did you read the book I gave you?”
She nodded. Now was her chance. Now, at last, she could ask the questions she’d always wanted to ask. Only now, she couldn’t think of anything other than every word she ever regretted having said aloud to Marcus Lavoie.
Marcus leaned his back against the trunk of the willow. “You’re overwhelmed.”
She nodded, and then remembered she could speak. “Yes.”
“You have no burning questions?”
She bowed her head. “I do, but Jas says it will kill me to know too much.”