by Alexis Anne
But there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it, so instead I tried to ignore it. I picked up my phone and invited Greg to a cold family dinner instead.
*****
Natalie shrieked from her bedroom down the hallway. I fell on my way to see what the hell was happening, but when I got there I realized she was happy, not hurt.
“Dad’s coming to visit!” she shrieked again, jumping up and down in front of her laptop. I could see Brandon grinning all the way from Paris.
“Hey, Ree. I know I should have cleared it with you first, but is it all right if I come visit next week?”
I collapsed on the bed in front of the laptop while Natalie hopped around her bedroom like a kid. I loved moments like this: when she actually acted her age.
Although I could use a little less enthusiasm for a few minutes.
“What is with next week? Are you and my father conspiring to drive me insane?”
Brandon genuinely looked surprised. “Edward is going to be in town too?”
“Monday through Wednesday.”
“Well this will be…not as much fun as I thought it was going to be.”
At least Brandon got it. “Sorry to rain on your parade. But you’re still more than welcome to visit. What’s the big occasion?”
“We’re considering opening a few stores in the States. I’m flying in to cover a couple meetings and look at some locations.”
“About time you guys dipped your toes back in the American waters.”
He scowled at me. “As if America has been a viable market for the last five years…”
I shrugged, giving him a hard time simply because it was fun. “Scaredy pants.”
“Smarty pants is more like it. We spent the last five years building a robust line, testing our products, and accruing more than enough capital to keep us solvent regardless of what happens to our new stores in the States. Smart,” he repeated for emphasis.
“If that’s what helps you sleep at night. When are you coming?”
“Wednesday. Leave Saturday night. Sorry kiddo, it’s a quick trip this time. Can I sleep at your place?”
I bit my lip. Brandon usually stayed with us so he could maximize time with Natalie without disturbing her too much. But I’d also never had a boyfriend when Brandon visited.
“Marie?”
“I’m thinking!”
“Marie…what’s going on?”
“Mom has a boyfriend,” Natalie replied for me, sticking her face in front of mine so she could see Brandon. “His name’s Greg and he’s super awesome.”
“Oh really? And this Greg might not want me spending time with my daughter?”
“Not in your boxers.”
Natalie glared at me. “Seriously Mom?”
I glared at her. “I told you grownups complicate things. I wasn’t lying.”
“Of course you’re staying with us! And why would Greg mind?” Natalie asked.
Brandon laughed. “I’m not sure if you can remember back this far…you were just an egg at the time, but your mother and I have had intimate relations before. That tends to complicate things when it comes to boyfriends, kiddo.”
“Ew! And that was over thirteen years ago. And you two obviously don’t want to be like that so…what’s the problem?” she repeated.
I loved her black and white logic. I just hoped Greg would, too.
“Look, he’s coming over for dinner any minute so I can explain the Edward situation. I’ll just heap this onto the top of the pile, okay? Plan on sleeping here unless I send you an email saying otherwise.”
“Ouch. You’re going to have fun at dinner. Have I ever mentioned how incredibly brave you are?”
I laughed as I stood up to leave. “Many times actually. I seem to remember that you were too scared to tell Edward that you’d knocked me up. Thanks for that.”
Brandon groaned as I left the room.
I was just pouring a glass of wine when Greg came in with Italian for dinner. I’d never done this whole boyfriend meeting the father thing before…well, not since Brandon. It felt huge, not just because it was the two men in my life meeting, but because of Greg. He’d never done this before. He was incredibly happy with me and Natalie and he had been a model (albeit crass) boyfriend. But he was about to get logjammed by both my father and my baby daddy. If anything was going to scare the pants off of him, it was those two.
Nothing like a great big heaping dose of reality to see if you have what it takes to be in a relationship.
“So I got the regular ravioli for Nat and the lobster ravioli for you again. You seem to really like it.”
“I do.” I tried to see if his eyes looked any different. Any hesitation or doubts, but he looked totally normal.
“I got an extra order of the garlic knots, too. I didn’t get one last time.”
“Yeah, Natalie went a little nuts on them.”
He stopped in the middle of placing a box on the table and laughed. “That’s putting it mildly. I think she might have inhaled one into her lung.”
God, he was cute when he exaggerated. “So I have more news,” I drawled.
“Should I drink before this next round?”
“Yes,” I said, turning to the bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter.
“Meeting your father really isn’t that big of a deal, babe. We’re together, it was bound to happen.”
I gave him a look that told him he had no idea what he was talking about. “I fear for your sanity. And mine.”
“I can be charming when I want to be.”
He most certainly could. “I don’t think you’re going to feel charming once my father gets going. He has a way of,” I waved my whiskey laden hand through the air before placing it in front of Greg, “bringing out the worst in people. Knowing you the way I do, you’ll be cussing up a storm within five minutes of meeting him.”
“You want to place a bet on that?” His eyes gleamed.
I leaned over the table, my shirt opening to reveal an eyeful of cleavage. “I’ll bet you one orgasm.”
“Five minutes?”
I nodded, impressed that he was keeping his eyes on me instead of my breasts.
“Deal. But you better be ready to pay.”
A jolt of electricity coursed through me as images of licking down his cock filled my head. Oh, I’d happily pay up if I was wrong. Very happily.
“Did you tell him about Dad?” Natalie slid into her seat and had a garlic knot in her mouth before I had a chance to take a breath.
Greg’s eyes widened and he took a drink. “What about Brandon?”
I stood up and smiled. “So, as I was saying…I have more news.”
“Dad’s coming to visit next week!” Natalie exclaimed with a disgusting mouthful of bread.
So much for subtlety. I couldn’t blame her though. She was excited to see her dad.
“So you get to meet him next week, too. If you’re up for it.” I didn’t want to drop the other bomb until he’d at least finished the whiskey in his hand.
“I’d love to meet the guy who helped make this kid.” He winked at Natalie who grinned even bigger. Some garlic knot actually fell out of her mouth. “How long is he in town for?”
I sat down beside Greg and refilled his glass, pushing it up toward his lips. “Wednesday to Saturday, so we’ll go straight from the crazy to the other crazy.”
He eyed me carefully, taking the sip I was so strongly suggesting he take. “And where is he staying?”
“Drink, drink.” I pushed at the bottom of the glass.
“Marie. Is he staying here?”
“Yes. He usually stays in the guest room when he visits, but I told him I needed to discuss it with you first.”
Greg shrugged. “He’s Natalie’s dad, I can’t believe this is even a question.”
“Are you sure?” I don’t know why I was so positive Greg was going to blow a gasket over this, or why it worried me, for that matter. But I had been holding my breath this whole time.
“Of course I’m sure. What kind of asshole do you think I am? Wait, don’t answer that.”
He shook his head and set the glass down, leaning over and taking my face in his hand. “I want what’s best for Natalie, and spending as much time with her father who lives in another country is the best thing for her.” Then he kissed me firmly on the lips.
“Well, I’m happy you are so civilized. I don’t think most men are…”
He grinned one of his cocky grins and a hard look came over his eyes. “Oh, I’ll be jealous as shit the whole time he’s here. And I can guarantee I won’t be charming with him. I’ll probably be a genuine asshole until we feel each other out.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course they were going to have a pissing contest. “You two can be as juvenile and pig headed as you wish, just leave us,” I waved at Natalie and me, “out of it.”
Dinner was quiet. Well, it was for me. Natalie rattled on and on about Edward and Brandon. She answered all of Greg’s questions and started musing about what she wanted to do with her dad. I watched Greg for a while, but he genuinely seemed excited and interested.
So what was my problem? If Greg was fine, then maybe I wasn’t really worried about him. Maybe I was worried about me and blaming it on him because it was obvious and easy to do.
Brandon and Edward in the same week.
They were my past and Greg was my present, but I had no idea where we were going. I still knew nothing about his past. It was hard to ignore all the things that meant when my past was staring me in the face.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I never in a million years would have thought a bubble bath on a Saturday morning was a good idea. But Marie stripped naked and slid beneath the hot bubbles and my dick commanded I get my ass in that tub. It was actually pretty awesome. The hot water was relaxing and the naked siren between my legs was rubbing her soft skin against my erection so…yeah, baths were okay in my opinion, as long as they included her.
Natalie slept at Clarissa’s again, so we had the house to ourselves for a couple more hours and Marie wanted to make the most of it. I was okay with that.
I ran my finger across her back, watching the bubbles pop and merge before dripping down her skin. This was nice. Like, really, really nice. I’d never done anything like this in my life.
It made me realize how short my time with Jenn was and how long my life had been empty. I wish I could make sense of this shit, but no matter how hard I thought about it, I came back to the same conclusion: life wasn’t fair and it fucking sucked. There was also nothing I could ever do to change what happened.
I loved Jenn and I always would.
But I also loved Marie.
I knew what love was and what I felt toward Marie was love. Deep, earth shattering, life changing, I’d do anything for her or Natalie, love.
It was tearing me apart, piece by piece. I knew what I was feeling, but my mind didn’t understand it. I’d already fallen in love. Lightning doesn’t strike twice.
And I didn’t deserve to fall in love again. I knew that. The love stuff could confuse me all it wanted to, but when it came to punishment I knew exactly where the lines were drawn.
I did not deserve to be happy.
I dug my thumb into Marie’s shoulder muscle. It didn’t give at all; she was still as stiff as a board. I pushed harder, coaxing her muscle to relax. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head.
“What’s wrong?”
The silence that followed was painful and it got all my protective instincts going.
“This has been nice. These last couple of months,” she finally said.
I was such a selfish bastard. If I wasn’t so fucking selfish I never, ever would have kept seeing Marie. But I liked being around her. I liked the way I felt.
But I’d known all along that I could never be what she needed and staying was selfish. It only made leaving her harder for both of us.
“Yes, they have been.” I wished things could stay just like they were.
More silence. I kept trying to get the muscle to give.
“You know how I said I can’t have maybes in my life?” she finally said.
“Yeah?”
“This next week? This is why.” Her finger traced the scar on my wrist. Back and forth, over and over.
“I don’t follow, Marie.” Did it matter? She was saying she needed my useless ass out of her way. My selfish indulgence period was over.
I wasn’t ready for it to be over and I suddenly realized I was willing to do anything to keep this for a little while longer. I’d take scraps if that’s what she would give me.
“I don’t think you’re going to like me very much for the next week,” she mumbled.
Her muscle got stiffer and I finally stopped focusing on myself. I squeezed her shoulders. “What’s going on?”
I could feel the pain radiating off of her now that I was paying attention. Marie was stiff everywhere. She was miserable.
“I don’t handle my father very well.”
My Marie? Strong, seductive, picked me up using my own game, Marie? “I find it hard to believe you have trouble handling anything.” But her conversation with Jake came screaming back into my head and I knew things with Edward had to be much more complicated than I realized.
Her shoulders relaxed a little. Not much, but a little. Like my confidence in her made a difference somehow.
“We all have our weaknesses. This is definitely mine. I just wanted you to know that I’ll be different and you probably won’t like it. You might want to lay low and just wait this out.”
No. The word knocked me on my ass and I reacted without thinking. I pulled Marie back against me and wrapped my arms around her. She needed me and I sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere.
“You need to relax,” I whispered in her ear. She was only stiff for another second and then she melded against me, following my command.
My Marie was slipping away. She was like a puppet, putting on an act and following commands instead of thinking for herself.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assured her.
Marie needed my help. She wasn’t coming right out and asking for it, in fact I was pretty sure she’d deny it if I asked, but she needed it and I was sure as hell gonna be the one to help her.
“Greg…this is your chance to walk away. Do you understand that?”
I needed to walk away. I knew that. But Marie kept tracing my scar. My past and my present were touching in that exact moment and it was tearing everything I knew apart. I didn’t have any answers and I sure as shit didn’t know what the right thing to do was. All I did know was that Marie was hurting and I couldn’t let that happen.
“I hear what you’re saying.”
“Then why are you still here?” she whispered.
I stared at the back of her bare neck. The bubbles were gone, but her damp hair clung to her skin. This beautiful, delicate, incredibly strong woman was in my hands. My hands. I didn’t deserve her, but she didn’t deserve to have me walk away and abandon her to the pain she was feeling.
“Because I don’t want to leave,” I whispered back. “I’ve tried, you know. I’m not good for you or for Natalie. I ruin things. I don’t want to hurt you but, for the life of me, every time I try to leave you, I can’t do it.”
My hands started shaking. I didn’t know what I was doing or saying. Someone else was moving my lips. The words coming out weren’t calculated or planned. They just came out.
Marie turned herself between my legs so that she was facing me with her knees pulled up to her chest. “Why? Why can’t you leave?”
I reached out and ran my hand through a piece of her damp hair. She was so perfect. So real. “You make me feel alive again.”
There were tears in her eyes as she stared at me. I didn’t know if she was breaking up with me or sad for me, maybe it was both. Then she took my hand and turned it over. “This scar. Where did it come from?”
“A car accident,�
� I said automatically.
“A bad one?” Her eyes stayed steady on me. Not judging, not demanding, but definitely waiting for the truth.
I took her finger and traced the scar with it just like she’d been doing a few seconds ago. “Very bad. This is my only scar. The glass cut the shit out of me.” The rest were hidden inside.
The accident cut my soul in two.
“What else?”
I leaned back and to the side so that my tattoo was visible above the water. I traced the symbol with her finger, and then ran it across the words written in Gaelic. Her eyes followed the path I traced, and her touch burned all the way down to what was left of my soul.
“My fiancée died in that accident.”
She grabbed her hand back. I didn’t blame her. It was a shock to me every time I said it, so it couldn’t be easy for someone else to hear.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Greg?”
I couldn’t look at her as I explained. I just…couldn’t. “The tattoo is to remember her. She’d just gotten her degree in Celtic history. She was a nut for that old English shit.”
“What does it say?”
I looked at it, remembering exactly how it felt when I got it drilled into my skin. I’d hoped the pain would help, but it didn’t. “I miss you.”
Marie didn’t move or say anything and I didn’t have the will power to look up and see what she was feeling. If it was sympathy, it would probably kill me. If it was disgust, well…the answer was still the same.
“I’m sorry this happened to you.” She placed her hand on my knee and the combination of the contact and the words jolted me back into the present.
“To me?”
“Yes, to you,” she said. “To her. To both of you. She lost her life and…” Her voice disappeared and I finally looked up.
She shook her head. “And I think you did, too. I am so sorry.”
I couldn’t do this. I hauled myself out of the water and grabbed a towel.
“Greg?”
“What?” I snapped. I didn’t mean to. The last thing I wanted was to drag Marie into hell with me.