Duplicity

by Lisa J. Hobman

  His brow furrowed and he fell silent for a few moments as he just stared at me, or into me, I wasn’t sure which.

  “What the hell is this, Star?”

  I shook my head, wondering what he was getting at. “What do you mean?”

  He stepped toward me again, and in three further paces, he was standing only inches from me. His vivid blue eyes remained steadfast, locked on mine. “This. Between us. There’s a pull. I’ve never experienced it before, and I don’t know whether it’s normal to feel so… drawn to someone. So right with someone you’ve known for a very short time.”

  I slipped my hands up the length of his arms, and his came around my waist. I shrugged at his question. “Honestly? I have no idea. This is all new to me too. And I have no clue what normal even is. Does the concept even exist? All I do know is that if we’re both feeling it then it must be real, and that counts for something, right?”

  With no further words, he took my mouth with his in a deep, toe-curling kiss, searing my soul and stealing the air from my lungs. Before I knew it, we were naked in bed, taking pleasure and giving it back in equal measure. Devouring each other. Feasting on each other. Silently expressing what I guessed we were both feeling, but maybe both thought it was too soon to say.

  All thoughts of cruel fathers, TV presenters, bad intentions, and anger flew out through the window along with the sound of our muttered words and heavy breaths.

  Fin

  I awoke with a pounding head to find Star fast asleep in my arms. Despite my headache, I smiled as I watched her breasts rise and fall with each silent breath. I would have loved to stay there with her forever. Just holding her, feeling her skin next to mine, and taking in her beauty. Her warmth seeped into my own nakedness and settled somewhere around my heart. At that moment, I felt sorry for those who didn’t believe in love at first sight, or falling fast for someone. I’d experienced it, and I say, don’t knock it ‘til you know the feeling.

  The events of the night before both haunted and thrilled me. The words of disapproval from my father almost spoiled everything for me yet again. But I would be damned if I’d let him win this time. I allowed thoughts of him to dissipate and instead focused on the memory of the way Star had looked straddling me as she took control during our love-making, her eyes filled with so much more than lust. It was like our souls were already connected and we had been destined to meet, only it had to be the right time. Desire and need for her sizzled under my skin, and my morning erection gained fervour, ready to start over.

  In my mind’s eye, I remembered watching her move and roll her head back on an ecstatic, lust-filled moan as she climaxed around me. It had to have been the most erotic sight I’d ever had the pleasure to behold. Knowing there was so much more to it than sex made hope spark deep within me that she felt the same. I guessed she did as she’d almost let the “L” word slip from her tongue the night before. But I wanted to hear her say the words.

  Her eyelids fluttered open, and she stretched like a satisfied cat after a bowl of cream. Her breasts were oh-so-close to my face, and I could smell her skin. She smelled of me; it was a huge turn on. Not that I needed to be turned on any more than I already was.

  “Mmm. Good morning, handsome.” God, I loved her sexy morning voice, and that bloody accent was enough to send me over the edge before she even touched me.

  “Good morning yourself, sexy. We have all day to spend together. What do you want to do?”

  She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and smiled. I read her mind, and with one swift move, I was between her silky thighs, right where I wanted to be.

  I sank into her body and groaned with pleasure as she wrapped her legs around me. Would I ever get enough? At that moment, I seriously doubted it.

  ♫♫♫

  We chose to spend a lazy Sunday morning at Star’s apartment following a call from Alec to say he was heading to Livingston with Gil for the day. Later, we sat munching on bacon rolls and planning for the evening. We were meeting my boss and his wife in the city to help Star feel more at ease when we attended the charity ball a couple of weeks hence.

  Sitting on her bed with her wardrobe doors wide open and clothes strewn around the room, she stamped her foot like a petulant child. “But what do I wear?” I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh, and failed, which earned me a playful slap to the arm. “Finnn, this is serious. I’ve never met these people, and it’s important that I make a good impression.”

  I leaned forward and swiped a blob of ketchup from her lip before sucking it off my thumb. “Just wear whatever you want to wear and be yourself. They’ll love you. Stop worrying.” The fact that she seemed so hung up on what people thought was completely out of line with her appearance, and I wondered why.

  She lowered her gaze. “I just… I want to be… I want them to think I’m good enough for you.”

  What? “Star, why in hell would you think anything to the contrary?”

  “Because you’re a lawyer, and I make coffee. You’re all clear skinned, and I’m covered in ink. You’re intelligent, and I’m—”

  Anger niggled at me. “Whoa, hang on there. Okay, point one, I’m a lawyer because it’s what I was pushed into, and it’s all I know. Two, I fucking love your tattoos, and just because I’m too chicken to get one of my own doesn’t mean I think less of those who have them. And three…” I inched closer to her on the bed and slipped my hand around to the nape of her neck. “Qualifications don’t mean you’re intelligent. They mean you’re good at answering questions at length within a time limit. You are the most intelligent, fun, caring, sexy woman I’ve ever met, so don’t go getting a bloody inferiority complex on me, okay? And anyway, Alasdair isn’t at all like that. He’s so cool, Star. He doesn’t judge on appearance. Hell, he’s fine with my beardy weirdness and shaggy hair, so he isn’t going to care what you’ve got on your skin. I can’t quite believe you’re so eaten up about what people think.”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek and folded her arms around herself protectively. “I wasn’t… I mean I never have been. Not until…”

  My heart sank. “Not until you met me?” She nodded. I placed my plate on the floor, and once my hands were free, I pulled her until she straddled my lap. “You really have nothing to worry about. I don’t know why you feel like this. If I’ve done something or… or said something to make you feel this way then I’m so sorry. But believe me when I say that I don’t care what anyone thinks of either of us. As long as we’re happy then that’s all that counts, okay?”

  Her lip trembled. “I know. I just… I’m not a high-flying lawyer. I serve coffee and take photos, for goodness sake. It’s not rocket science.” She lowered her head, unable to look in my eyes.

  I sighed and cupped her face, forcing her to meet my gaze. “So what if you’re not a bloody lawyer? I wish I wasn’t, to be honest. It’s not all it’s made out to be. And you… Please don’t keep putting yourself down, Star. You’re so very talented, and you’re beautiful inside and out.”

  She smiled, but her eyes were still filled with sadness, so I pulled her down to kiss her in a way I hoped would express what I felt unable to say out loud in case I scared her away.

  Suddenly an idea came to mind. Hopefully it would help her see that supposed status meant nothing to me. “Let’s go out this afternoon. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

  ♫♫♫

  I gripped Star’s hand as we entered Patisserie Valerie, and a familiar pair of friendly eyes locked on mine. I glanced at Star and smiled before pulling her eagerly forward.

  As soon as we arrived at the table, Hetty was on her feet, pulling me down into her arms. For such a small person she could certainly squeeze hard, but she gave the best hugs ever.

  “Fin. It’s so good to see you, love.” Her emotion-filled voice tugged at my heart.

  A lump formed in my throat almost trapping my voice, but I managed to choke out, “And you too, Hetty. I’ve missed you.”

  “Oh, my swe
et boy. Let me look at you.” She held me at arm’s length and trailed a parental, assessing gaze over me. “My, you do look well. Rugged, but well, all the same.” Her smile widened as she spotted Star beside me. “And who might this beautiful young lady be?”

  I gently pulled Star forward. “Hetty, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Star Mendoza. Star, this is the other important woman in my life, Hetty Mackenzie.”

  Star held out her hand, but a sob broke free from Hetty, and she grappled Star into a hug. “Oh, bless you both. How wonderful. How perfect.”

  “Hi, Mrs Mackenzie. I’ve heard so much about you,” Star told her.

  “Oh, please call me Hetty. And you have me at a disadvantage, I’m afraid,” Hetty said as she released her. “This young man is so very private. But I can see the look in his eyes. He’s clearly smitten.”

  Star’s cheeks coloured, and she smiled over at me as she chewed her lip.

  “I was so relieved to know you hadn’t gone up to Arisaig yet. I wanted so much for you to meet Star.”

  We sat down, and a waitress came to take our order. Once it was just the three of us again, I grinned like an idiot between the two most important women in my life.

  Hetty patted Star’s arm. “So, Star, tell me about yourself.”

  She shrugged. “Well, there’s not much to tell, really.”

  “Oh, come now. I doubt that very much. I mean, for starters you’re an American lassie living thousands of miles from home. So, that alone tells me how brave you are.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.”

  Hetty’s alarmed gaze darted to mine, and I felt the need to explain. “Star is quite… how can I say it? Modest, to say the least. Although she’s the most talented photographer. In fact, you know the framed photos I loved so much?”

  She rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh, aye. How could I forget?”

  I gripped Star’s hand with an immense amount of pride. “Well, this is the photographer. S.A.M. aka, Star Mendoza.”

  Hetty gasped and covered her heart. “Oh my goodness. Now there’s fìor beartas if I ever heard of it.”

  Star’s brow crumpled. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “It means true fate. It’s Gaelic.”

  “Mìorbhaileach,” Hetty continued with a warm smile.

  “Yes, it is wonderful, Hetty. And if I didn’t believe in fate before, I certainly do now.” I kept my gaze fixed on Star as I spoke the words, and her responding smile made my heart soar.

  Tilting her head to one side, Hetty continued, “So, Star, tell me more.”

  ♫♫♫

  When we left the café, hand in hand, a sense of relief and calm came over me. Star had captured Hetty’s heart and vice versa. And just as I knew she would, Hetty instilled a sense of belonging and confidence in Star as only she could. There had been no words spoken on the matter, but it was evident in Star’s smile and in her body language.

  Mission accomplished.

  Star

  Deacon Brodie’s was hectic when we arrived, and I clutched Fin’s hand as he pushed through the throngs of people already in the midst of their Friday night out. He lifted his other hand and waved in recognition of someone, and an older, handsome man waved back.

  The man and his beautiful female companion stood as we approached the table where they were, and Fin was drawn into a hug.

  “Good to see you, Fin. And you must be Star. It’s wonderful to finally meet you. Fin has spoken very highly of you.” He shook my hand and kissed my cheek.

  My skin heated and my nerves jangled. “Likewise, Mr McKendrick.”

  “Oh, no. Please call me Alasdair. It makes me sound so much younger.” He winked, and I decided I liked him. “Fin, Star. I would like you to meet my better half, Colette.”

  The stunning blonde woman leaned in and kissed me on both cheeks before giving the same greeting to Fin. “I’ve heard so much about the pair of you that I feel I already know you,” Colette told us. I immediately warmed to her. She had the loveliest friendly blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled. She was dressed in casual back trousers and a cream sweater that looked like cashmere. I suddenly felt very self-aware in my skinny jeans and off shoulder top with a Hozier logo on the front. Fin had bought me the top after that night we made love to “Take Me to Church”, and it held a very special place in my heart. He said he liked the way it fell at one side, revealing my ink. As if knowing I needed reassurance, he squeezed my hand, and when I looked at him, he smiled down at me with a look of sheer adoration.

  My heart leapt.

  “Come, sit.” Alasdair gestured to the two empty seats.

  “So, Star, Fin tells me you’re from Indiana. Which part?”

  “I’m from a town called Fort Wayne. Well, city, actually.”

  “Oh, yes. I’m familiar with Fort Wayne. Great centre for art and culture. Colette and I travelled the USA just after we married. Fascinating place. Explains your artistic streak, maybe?”

  Heat rose in my cheeks again as I realised Fin had been telling his boss about my photography. I decided to try hard to be proud instead of shy for once. “Yeah, my mom and dad used to love taking me to the museums and art galleries. There are so many of them back home.”

  “So what brought you to Scotland?” Colette asked.

  “Oh, it was a dream of mine to travel Europe, thanks to the books I read growing up, but to be honest, I arrived here and fell for the place. I didn’t want to leave because I felt so at home, you know?”

  “Well, I’m sure Fin is delighted you stayed,” Alasdair said with a wink towards my companion.

  I glanced at Fin, and he was beaming at me. “I certainly am, Alasdair.” He ran his thumb tenderly over my knuckles. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m bloody starving. Shall I go grab some menus?”

  Alasdair patted his forearm. “Sounds like a good plan, son.” Fin stood to leave the table, and once he had gone, Alasdair’s attention was back on me.

  His smile was warm. “So, you’ll be accompanying Fin to the ball, I understand?”

  I swallowed hard and nodded. “Y-yes. Well, that’s if I can find something to wear that covers my tattoos.”

  Alasdair frowned and glanced at Colette, who tilted her head to one side. “Why on earth would you want to do that, dear?” she asked with a concerned gaze.

  I sighed. “Oh, well…I mean, I hardly fit in with…I mean you’re all so…” I wasn’t sure how to put my feelings into words without sounding dumb. I had never felt self-conscious about my ink nor my dress sense until I met Fin. He loved the way I looked, so that wasn’t the reason, but I somehow felt inferior. The people in his circles were all smart, suit-wearing business types. But me? Well, I’m not the type of person who usually conforms. And that had always been fine. But suddenly my coffee shop job and my tattoos didn’t feel very befitting of a lawyer’s girlfriend.

  Alasdair leaned forward and pinned me with his firm gaze. “Look, Star, you are a beautiful and individual young woman, which is something to be embraced. Fin clearly adores you, so why do you feel it necessary to change? To cover up who you are?”

  I closed my eyes, briefly trying to decide how to word my response so I didn’t sound feeble. “I guess I’ve never really had to try and fit in with high flyers before, and I don’t want to let Fin down. He mentioned that his parents may be at the ball, and the last thing I want to do is add to his problems there.”

  Colette reached out and took my hand. “Honey, why would you add to his problems? You are you. You change for no one. Least of all the Hunters.” The way she said Fin’s family name with disdain spoke of an undercurrent of severe dislike. “Fin is the only one of that family you should care about, and he’s crazy about you. He hasn’t batted an eyelid about taking you as his date because there’s no reason for him to do so. To him, it’s the most natural thing in the world. He adores you, so of course he wants you by his side. We want you there too.” Alasdair nodded emphatically in agreement with his wife. “And your tatto
os are beautiful. Please don’t ever feel inferior because you choose not to be a sheep. Like Alasdair says, embrace your individuality, don’t shy away from it.”

  Alasdair chimed in, “I’m with Colette. You have nothing to prove. And these high flyers, as you call them, are normal human beings, Star. They are in no way superior to you just because they wear suits and try criminals.”

  Guilt washed over me at my reaction. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just—”

  Alasdair waved his hands. “No, no. You haven’t offended us at all. We’re simply trying to make you see that you have nothing to worry about. Nothing to fear. If Campbell and Isobel are there then you hold your head high like Fin will. Okay?”

  Fin returned and placed four menus on the table. He sat beside me and glanced worriedly around at us. “Is everything okay?”

  I smiled as relief flooded me. “Everything is wonderful, Fin.”

  Star

  My feet were sore, but Alec was relentless in his determination to find the perfect dress for me to wear to the charity ball. I had found a pale blue long-sleeved dress in the first shop we visited. I tried it on and liked it. Well, liked may be exaggerating a little…

  Although Alec voiced his opinion very loudly…as usual. “Fuck me, Twinkle. I wouldn’t let my granny wear that frock and she’s dead. Go remove it from your delectable curves before I have to use it to mop up my vomit.”

  I rolled my eyes like the errant teenager I felt I was becoming. “Don’t sugar coat it, Al. Give it to me straight, huh?” With a huff, I returned to the fitting room. Truth be told, I was still hung up on having my tattoos on show, and all the dresses Alec showed me would expose more than a little bit of skin.

  Once I replaced the ‘granny frock’ on its hanger, I skulked back out to Alec, who grasped my hand and pretty much dragged me out of the store and down Princes Street toward a side alley. Once we arrived outside the classy little boutique and I saw the dresses in the window, a wave of panic almost floored me.

  “There is no way in hell I can either afford anything in that store or fit into anything in there. Let’s just go get me a dress from a regular store, Al. Please?”