by Amy Clipston
Katie spotted a group of young men and women gathered around the volleyball net. Her brother Samuel and Matthew stood together while Matthew held the volleyball. Katie loped alongside her friends as they raced toward the net.
“I want to play!” Lizzie Anne announced, approaching the net. “Pick me.”
“I do too,” Lindsay chimed in.
“We’ll take Lizzie Anne,” Samuel told Matthew.
Matthew smiled at Lindsay. “I guess we’ll take Lindsay then.”
“What about me?” Katie said as her friends lined up with their teams.
“I’m sorry, but we’re full,” Samuel said with a frown. “You’ll have to play next time.”
“Oh.” Katie glanced at Lindsay, who mirrored Samuel’s frown in response.
“I’m sorry, Katie,” Lindsay said. “You take my place next time around, all right?”
“That’s fine.” Katie sank onto the warm grass. She hugged her knees to her chest and watched her friends laugh while bumping the ball back and forth. She wished she could be part of the camaraderie, but instead tried to smile and enjoy the game. After all, it was a beautiful day and she was with her church community.
When the game was finally over, Lizzie Anne and Lindsay rushed over, panting and laughing.
“You really missed that shot, Lizzie Anne,” Lindsay said with a chuckle. “Did you fall asleep on the court?”
“No!” Lizzie Anne said with feigned annoyance. She pointed to Samuel. “It was his fault. He missed the pass, so I missed the shot.”
“No,” Samuel responded as he and Matthew walked over. “That was all your fault, Lizzie Anne. You were asleep just like Lindsay said.”
“I’m thirsty,” Lindsay said. “Let’s all get a drink, ya?”
Matthew gestured toward the barn. “That’s a gut idea.”
“But I was going to play volleyball,” Katie said, falling in step with her friends.
“We’ll play again,” Lindsay said. “Maybe this time Lizzie Anne won’t miss the shot.”
“You missed one too, Lindsay!” Lizzie Anne said, tapping Lindsay’s arm.
Katie smiled, wishing she could participate in the conversation. Although she’d watched the game, she didn’t quite see the humor they did. She assumed she would’ve been able to feel a part of it if they’d had room for her on one of the teams.
Katie climbed the steps behind her friends and trailed them to the kitchen where they filled plastic cups with cold water from a pitcher. They moved to the family room, which was full of people, and crossed to some empty benches in the corner. Lindsay and Matthew sat on one side while Lizzie Anne and Samuel sat across from them. By the time Katie reached the table, there was no room for her.
Lindsay frowned. “Oh, Katie.” She squeezed over toward Matthew and patted a sliver of bench. “Sit here. I’ll make room.”
“I can make room too.” Lizzie Anne also revealed a small section of bench that wouldn’t be enough for even one of Katie’s legs.
“That’s okay.” Katie glanced around the room and spotted her sister Nancy sitting with some of the younger girls. “I’ll go sit with Nancy. I’ll see you later.” She forced a smile and turned to go.
“Katie, no!” Lindsay called. “We can make room.”
“Really, I don’t mind.” Katie waved and then crossed the room to her sister’s table. “May I join you?” she asked Nancy.
“Ya!” Nancy said, scooting over for Katie. “Sit down. We were just discussing how cute Andrew Smucker is.”
“Danki.” Katie sat on the bench and glanced back toward her friends as they laughed and talked together without her. She moved closer to Nancy, trying in vain to ease the hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I can do this,” Lindsay muttered as she sat next to Daniel in the buggy. She stared at the bishop’s large white house and sucked in a breath. “I can do this,” she repeated. “I know I can.”
Daniel smiled. “Ya, you can do it, and I’ll go in with you to give you support.”
“Danki,” she said. Seeing the bishop’s house caused her to doubt herself and wonder if she should just go to the youth gathering without meeting him first. She was thankful her uncle insisted on supporting her through this important meeting.
Lindsay climbed from the buggy and then headed up the porch steps toward the bishop’s front door with Daniel. She’d spoken to the bishop numerous times since coming to live in Bird-in-Hand, and he’d always been pleasant during their brief encounters. However, now she was going to ask permission to enter into something sacred. Lindsay touched her prayer covering and then smoothed her black bib apron over her best purple frock. She had tried to look her best for this very important meeting. Mustering all of her confidence, she knocked on the door and mentally rehearsed what she’d told Daniel and Rebecca she’d say.
The door swung open revealing Bishop Abner Chupp dressed in black trousers, a brown shirt, and suspenders. His gray hair matched his long beard, and the wrinkles on his ivory face suggested he had to be close to his eighties.
“Wie geht’s, Abner,” Daniel said.
“Hello,” Lindsay said.
“Gut evening,” Abner said. He glanced between Daniel and Lindsay with a confused look in his small brown eyes. “Is everything okay at your farm?” he asked Daniel. His expression turned to worry. “Is Rebecca doing well today?”
“She’s doing quite well, danki.” Daniel pointed to the row of four rocking chairs by the porch railing. “May Lindsay and I speak with you for a moment?”
“Of course.” Abner stepped onto the porch and made a sweeping gesture toward the seating arrangement. “Please have a seat.”
Lindsay sank into a chair and took a deep breath while meeting the bishop’s curious gaze. She turned toward Daniel, and he nodded with a reassuring expression that told her to begin talking.
“Danki for talking with us this evening,” Lindsay began. “I recently went to Virginia to take care of mei aenti Trisha who had broken her beh.”
Abner fingered his beard. “Ya, I’d heard that. How is she?”
“Better,” Lindsay said. “She’s walking with a special cast now.”
“That’s gut news,” Abner said. “Praise God.”
“Ya.” Lindsay cleared her throat. It was time to get to the real purpose of her meeting with the bishop. No more small talk. “Before I left for Virginia Beach, I wasn’t certain where I belonged.”
“Where you belonged?” The bishop shook his head. “I don’t understand. Do you mean where you’re supposed to live?”
“Partly that.” Lindsay folded her hands in her lap. “What I mean is, I didn’t know if I should be in the Amish or the English world. Mei schweschder, Jessica, was constantly pressuring me to go back to school and join her at college, but that never felt right to me. However, I wasn’t ready to be baptized either.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “But after spending several weeks back in Virginia Beach, I realized I belong right here.” She looked at her uncle, who smiled. She was thankful he was sitting next to her.
Abner nodded. “I see. I’m glad God put that in your heart and you listened to Him.”
“He did put it in my heart, and I heard Him loud and clear.” Lindsay agreed with an emphatic nod. “I’ve come to accept that although mei schweschder and I had the same parents, we’re very different. She’s living a life meant for her, and this life here is meant for me.” She tapped the chair as she spoke.
“Gut. That’s very nice to hear.” The bishop glanced at Daniel. “I’m certain you, Rebecca, and the kinner are glad Lindsay is staying.”
“We are,” Daniel said. “She’s a part of our family, and we love having her with us.”
“Danki.” Lindsay said. Seeing her uncle’s smile gave her the burst of confidence she needed to continue with what she wanted to say. She looked at Abner. “I want to be baptized with mei freinden.”
The bishop’s bushy gray eyebrows flew to his hairline. “Lindsay, you’ve mi
ssed too many lessons to make up at this point.” His expression softened. “You can join another class with a neighboring district next year. I’ll speak to the bishop if you’d like me to.”
She shook her head. “I’d prefer not to wait on this, Bishop. It’s very important to me.”
“I realize that, but it will still be important to you next year.” He fingered his beard. “It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the class after all of the lessons they’ve had.”
“Oh, I know that.” She sat up straighter. “I’ll make up all of the lessons.”
“I know Lindsay will keep her word and make up all of the lessons,” Daniel chimed in. “And I’m certain you remember you helped mei bruder Timothy’s wife, Miriam, make up her lessons and allowed her to be baptized with a class that had begun before she joined them.”
“Ya,” Lindsay said. “I’ll do exactly as mei aenti Miriam did. I’ll come over and meet with you whenever it’s convenient for you, and I’ll do whatever I need to do. It means that much to me.”
The bishop paused for a moment with a thoughtful expression. “Why do you want to be baptized, Lindsay?”
Lindsay glanced at her uncle, and he nodded with another encouraging expression. She then turned back to the bishop. “I want to be baptized so I can live the life I believe God wants me to live. Being Amish is what I’m meant to be.” She thought of her experience volunteering at the nursing home. “While I was staying with my aunt and uncle in Virginia Beach, I volunteered in a nursing heemet on Saturdays as part of a church project. During my time there, I met an Old Order Amish woman from Pennsylvania who’d had a stroke and could only speak Dietsch. Her name was Mrs. Fisher.”
She pointed to her chest. “I was the only person who could communicate with Mrs. Fisher. She fell and I was there to help her tell the nurses she’d hurt her beh.” Tears filled her eyes. “And I helped her write a letter to her estranged dochder in California before she passed away unexpectedly.”
“I’m froh you were there to help her, Lindsay,” Abner said with a sympathetic expression. “You were a blessing to her.”
“Danki.” Lindsay sniffed and swiped her fingers over her tears. “I did what I felt God wanted me to do, and I came to realize my being Amish is the most important part of my life.” She folded her hands as if pleading with the bishop. “Please let me join the current baptism instruction session. It would mean so much to me and mei freinden.”
The old man rubbed his beard and looked out past the porch.
“Please, Bishop Chupp,” she added. “I promise I’ll attend the lessons, and I’ll do my very best to get caught up with the current class. I’ll be ready when the baptism day arrives.”
Meeting her gaze, compassion glimmered in the bishop’s eyes. “You’re absolutely certain about this, Lindsay?”
She nodded. “There’s no doubt in my mind.”
“This is a very serious decision,” he said. “It’s not one to be taken lightly. Once you’ve joined, you’re in for life.”
“I know,” Lindsay said. “My mom made mei aenti Rebecca our guardian because her heart was still here even years after she left the community to marry my dad. I feel I’m closer to her now that I’m here. That’s not why I want to join the church, but it gives me extra comfort in making this decision. I know in my heart it’s the right time for me to make the commitment to Christ and my community.”
“Abner,” Daniel began. “Rebecca and I each have talked to Lindsay about this, and we’ve discussed it at length with each other as well.” He placed his hand on Lindsay’s shoulder. “Rebecca and I both feel Lindsay is serious in her commitment to the church. If I didn’t feel this decision was right for her, I wouldn’t be here supporting her and talking to you right now.”
Lindsay smiled at her uncle. She was so thankful for his words of support.
Abner was silent for a moment. “Next week we’ll begin your instruction,” he finally said to Lindsay. “Be here next Monday at six.”
“I will! Danki!” With her own hands trembling with excitement, Lindsay stood and shook his hand.
“Danki, Abner,” Daniel said. He also shook the bishop’s hand. “This means a lot to our family.”
“Gern gschehne,” the bishop said.
He and Daniel made small talk about the weather before Daniel started down the porch steps. “Danki again, Abner. I appreciate your time with us.”
“Danki so much,” Lindsay repeated. She started toward the buggy, her heart pounding with excitement.
“Gut nacht,” Abner called after them.
Lindsay waved to Abner and then continued toward the buggy. She climbed in next to her uncle and smiled at him. “Danki for bringing me here, Onkel Daniel. And danki for all you said to the bishop. I don’t think I could’ve done this without you.”
“Gern gschehne,” he said, gripping the reins. “I think it went very well. Now let’s get you to the youth gathering.”
“I’ll see you later tonight,” Lindsay said as she climbed out of the buggy in Lizzie Anne’s driveway.
“Have fun,” Daniel said.
“I will,” Lindsay replied. “I’ll get a ride heemet with Samuel and Katie.” She rushed toward the barn. She couldn’t wait to tell her friends the news. She’d left a message for Matthew earlier in the day telling him she was going to meet with the bishop before the youth gathering and found him waiting for her outside the barn.
He raised his eyebrows in question as she approached, and she couldn’t stop a smile from appearing on her face.
“Wie geht’s,” Matthew called. “From the excited look on your face, I guess your meeting with the bishop went well?”
“It did,” she said, her voice bubbling with her excitement. She clasped her hands together. “I can’t believe it! He said yes! He gave me permission to make up the discussions I’ve missed, and I’ll be baptized with mei freinden.”
“That’s wunderbaar, Lindsay.” Matthew chuckled. “You’re really that surprised?”
“Of course I am.” Lindsay turned toward him. “He said I can make up the classes beginning next week Monday.” She shared the conversation she’d had with the bishop, and Matthew listened with interest.
“I’m so froh,” Matthew said. “What wunderbaar news.”
“Do you think I said the right things?” Lindsay asked, hoping for his approval.
Matthew’s face assumed a serious expression. “Lindsay, I’ve figured out a couple of things about you since we became freinden.”
She held her breath.
“First of all,” he began, “you’re very, very smart. And you’re always genuine. I don’t think you have a dishonest bone in your body. So please stop doubting yourself because I could never doubt you.”
Speechless, she nodded.
“Now,” he said, gesturing toward the barn door. “Let’s go see our freinden before we miss the whole event.”
“That sounds like a wunderbaar idea,” Lindsay said as they began to walk toward the barn door, where voices rang out in High German while the youth members sang hymns from the Ausbund.
They stepped into the barn and Lindsay glanced around, finding Katie, Lizzie Anne, and Samuel sitting together on a bench. Lindsay dropped down next to Lizzie Anne, while Matthew sat beside Samuel.
“You look awfully excited, Lindsay. What’s going on?” Lizzie Anne asked with a grin.
Katie leaned toward Lindsay. “That’s what I was going to ask.”
“I went to see the bishop,” Lindsay said looking between her friends. “And I’m joining your baptism class.”
Both of her friends pulled her into a hug at the same time. Lindsay smiled and spotted several people turning around to see what the fuss was.
“We’re attracting attention again,” Lindsay said.
“I don’t care,” Katie said, smiling. “I’m glad you made this decision. It will be nice for us all to join the church together.”
“I agree,” Lizzie Anne chimed in. “This is how i
t should be.”
“Ya,” Lindsay said, pushing her ribbons behind her shoulder. “It is.”
“This is wunderbaar gut,” Lizzie Anne said. “We’re all going to be baptized together. Can you tell me about your conversation with the bishop? I know it’s very personal, but I’m really surprised you went to see him. Would you mind telling us?”
“Ya, I can tell you,” Lindsay said with a shrug. “I’m not embarrassed. He was very nice.”
“Let’s go outside and talk so we don’t disturb anyone,” Katie suggested.
Katie stood with Lizzie Anne and Lindsay outside the barn while they listened to the story of Lindsay’s visit to the bishop.
“That’s wunderbaar!” Katie said, clapping her hands together. “I’m so glad you went to visit him.”
“Ya!” Lizzie Anne hugged Lindsay again. “You were very brave.”
“I’m thankful Onkel Daniel went with me,” Lindsay said. “He really gave me strength. He also said some really nice things that I believe helped the bishop decide to let me make up the discussions. I couldn’t have done it without Onkel Daniel.” She gestured toward Matthew and Samuel, who were standing together and talking several yards away. “Look at them. Isn’t it funny how Matthew and Samuel are good friends like you and I are, Lizzie Anne?”
Katie felt herself bristle at the comment. “Am I invisible?” she asked, forcing a laugh to try to make it sound like a joke.
“No,” Lindsay said quickly. “I’m sorry, Katie. I didn’t mean to make it sound like you weren’t here. I was just saying it’s funny how Samuel and Matthew are good friends, and Lizzie Anne and I like them. That’s all I meant.”
“Ya,” Lizzie Anne chimed in. “The three of us are best freinden, like always. Best freinden forever.”
“I just need to find a bu to like, ya?” Katie asked.
“Ya!” Lindsay and Katie said in unison.
Lizzie Anne pointed at a group of boys standing over by the fence. “How about Rueben? He’s nice.”
Katie scrunched her nose and shook her head. “No, he’s too hyper. He never sits still and he twitches.”
“How do you know he twitches?” Lindsay looked confused.