by Amy Clipston
She faced him, and the sincerity in his expression filled her with warmth despite her anxiety. “You don’t make me feel uncomfortable, Jake. In fact, I feel more comfortable with you than with some of the buwe in my district I’ve known my whole life.”
He smiled. “Danki.”
“I know we’re walking a fine line, but we can have lunch together every once in a while and talk as long as we’re with my cousins or the other bakers, right?” she asked.
“My father once told me his relationship with my mother began with an innocent lunch date.” He slowed down as the truck reached the road leading to her farm. “I’m afraid friendship may lead to problems for you if word got around that you’re spending time with a Mennonite boy.”
“Why can’t I have freinden who aren’t Amish?” Katie couldn’t stop her disappointed frown.
“You can,” he said with a shrug. “My mother keeps in contact with many of her school friends. But they’re females, Katie. Unfortunately, there’s a difference. Perception is a problem. Remember when Jessica and Lindsay first came to live with Rebecca?”
Katie nodded. “Of course I do.”
“Jessica found herself in a bit of trouble because of how she was perceived,” he said, frowning. “I don’t want that to happen to you. I’ll worry about what people might say or think every time we’re together. I know my mother’s family wound up divided when my parents fell in love. It only got worse when my mother left the church and became Mennonite so she could marry my father.”
He steered onto her driveway, and Katie felt her worries churn in her stomach. Soon her family would know she’d ridden home with Jake. “I have a difficult time believing our friendship is a sin,” she said, speaking quickly.
“Katie, it’s more complicated than that. Your community has certain rules you need to abide by, and I respect that.” Jake gripped the steering wheel. “But I promise I’ll always be your friend, whether we have lunch together or not.”
Katie spotted her youngest siblings, Linda and Aaron, looking out the family room windows. “Oh no,” she said. “They saw the truck.”
“You’d better go.” Jake frowned. “I’ll see you Monday.”
“Danki for the ride.” She gathered up her lunch bag and tote before hopping out of the truck.
He smiled. “Gern gschehne.”
Katie stepped away from the truck and ran through the cold rain toward her back door.
Chocolate Whoopie Pies
Cookie Halves:
½ cup vegetable shortening
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup brown sugar
¾ cup cocoa
2 eggs
½ cup milk
1½ cups flour
1¼ teaspoons vanilla
½ teaspoon salt
Cream shortening, sugar, and eggs. Add vanilla. Then add milk with dry ingredients. Drop by the spoonful onto baking pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
Filling:
2 egg whites
2¼ tablespoons milk
2 teaspoons vanilla
1½ cups shortening
4 tablespoons flour
1 lb. powdered sugar
Beat egg whites until stiff. Add vanilla, flour, and milk. Beat well and add shortening and powdered sugar. Spread between cookies. Makes two-dozen whoopie pies.
10
Katie rushed through the splashing raindrops toward the back of the house. Fear gripped her as she reached for the cold doorknob. Although she had enjoyed having a few moments to talk to Jake, she knew the repercussions could be serious.
“Katie!” Janie pushed the back door open and stepped out onto the porch. “How was your day?”
“Gut,” Katie said as she touched her little sister’s headscarf. “How was yours?”
“Gut.” Janie took Katie’s lunch bag from her hands. “I’ll carry this for you.”
“Danki, schweschder,” Katie said as they stood together on the back porch. “What did you do today?”
“I helped Nancy scrub the floor in the bathroom, and we also swept the schtupp,” Janie began. “And then we did a little bit of weeding in the garden, but we didn’t finish since it started to rain. Maybe you can help us tomorrow if it dries enough overnight? Dat says it shouldn’t rain too long. We’re going to plant the new flowers once the beds are weeded.”
“I’d love to help,” Katie said, wrenching open the back door and holding it for her sister. “We’ll work on that tomorrow for certain if it’s not too muddy.” She followed Janie into the kitchen and found her father glaring at her while he sat at the table. Her hands shook with worry as she hung her tote bag on a peg by the back door. “Wie geht’s, Dat?”
He turned his glare to Janie. “Go into the schtupp, Janie. Now.”
“Ya, Dat,” Janie said. She rushed through the doorway, dropping the lunch bag in the process.
Katie’s heart thudded in her chest as she stared into her father’s angry eyes. “Was iss letz?”
“I believe you know what’s wrong, Katie Joy,” Robert said.
Katie glanced toward the doorway where her mother stood frowning back at her. Her mother shook her head with disappointment, and Katie quickly turned her gaze down to the floor.
“Katie Joy!” Her father’s voice boomed, causing her to jump. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, dochder.” He pushed the chair back, the wood scraping the floor with a foreboding din.
She turned her eyes on him but hunched her shoulders in humiliation. “Ya, Daed,” she whispered, her voice thick.
“I began worrying about you when you were more than twenty minutes late, but the fact that a strange pickup truck and driver brought you heemet makes the situation much more infuriating,” he began.
“I missed my ride,” Katie began, wishing her voice sounded more confident. “I went into the pantry to do inventory for Mammi, and when I came out, everyone was gone. Jake Miller brought me heemet. You know him, Dat. He’s not a stranger.” She hated hearing her voice so thin and shaky.
“Jake Miller?” Her father looked surprised. “That Mennonite bu?”
“Ya,” she said. “He’s Elmer Yoder’s grandson. He’s a close family freind. He’s not just some stranger.”
“That’s not the point, Katie!” Her father wagged a finger a millimeter from her nose. “Why didn’t you ride heemet with your aenti like you do every day?”
Katie bit her lower lip and glanced at her mother, who continued to look disappointed. “I told you I missed my ride. I called the phone shanty and the furniture store, but no one answered. I didn’t know what else to do. Jake is working at the bakery right now — he’s helping Daadi build new display cabinets for Mammi — and he was the only one left in the bakery. He offered to take me heemet. I had no other choice.”
“How could you miss your ride?” he asked, looking suspicious. “You went into the pantry and no one saw you? That’s preposterous!”
“It’s the truth,” Katie said, feeling irritation bubble up inside her. “I don’t know why Mammi thought I had gone already. I didn’t sneak into the pantry. I looked at the clock and thought I had ten minutes before the van came.”
“Stop!” her father bellowed. “I’ve heard enough. No dochder of mine is going to go around begging buwe for a ride heemet. It’s improper, inappropriate, and embarrassing for the family. Do you know what people will say about you, Katie? Have you thought about that? Or were you only thinking of being alone with a bu?”
Angry tears pooled in the corners of Katie’s eye, and she brushed them away as she stared at her father in disbelief. How could he be cruel enough to accuse her of acting inappropriately? Didn’t he know her at all? Katie had always followed the rules, and she would never deliberately embarrass her family.
“Well?” Robert asked. “What do you have to say for yourself? I asked you a question.”
“I thought you wanted me to be quiet,” Katie replied, wiping more tears.
“I want to know what you w
ere thinking.” He gestured with his hands for emphasis. “Why did you assume staying late to be alone with a bu in the bakery and then riding alone in his truck was okay? What went through your mind?” He pointed toward her head. “What’s going on in that brain of yours, Katie Joy?”
“I had no choice, Dat,” she said, hoping her voice would sound more confident despite her tears. “I was stranded without a ride, and I couldn’t reach anyone on the phone. It’s pouring rain, and it’s a long walk heemet. What else could I have done?”
Her father shook his head. “You should have tried to call again. Did you try to call one of your onkels? You know everyone’s number in our family.” He looked disgusted. “How could you even consider being alone with a Mennonite bu? What’s gotten into you?”
Katie wanted to tell her father that Mennonite or not, Jake was a nice young man. She wanted to tell him that she was allowed to have friends who weren’t Amish and that she was old enough to make her own decisions about her friends.
But she couldn’t speak. The lump swelling in her throat prevented any words from escaping her mouth.
Her father spat out his words. “You’re not to leave this haus except to go to work and church for a month.”
“A month?” Katie’s words returned with a squeak. “I can’t leave the haus for a month because I was stranded at work with no way heemet? That’s completely unreasonable!”
“What? You’d like it to be longer?” Robert nearly shouted.
“No,” she whispered.
He pointed toward the doorway. “Go to your room. I don’t want to look at you.”
Katie moved to the doorway and then broke into a run when she hit the stairs. She burst through the doorway to her room, slammed the door shut behind her, and hurled herself onto her bed, sobbing into her pillow. How could her father treat her this way?
Rolling to her side, Katie wiped her eyes and sniffed. The squeak of her door opening announced a visitor.
“Go away.” Katie’s voice croaked.
“Katie,” her mother’s voice said. “I would like to speak with you for a moment.”
Sitting up, Katie hugged a pillow to her chest.
Her mother sat on the bottom corner of the bed, which squeaked under her weight. “I worried that you liked Jake.” Sadie shook her head and touched Katie’s leg. “You realize your behavior could result in a bad reputation. Is that what you want when you go to youth gatherings? Do you want the buwe to point at you and accuse you of improper behavior?”
“I don’t understand why Dat is so angry. I was stranded without a ride. It’s not my fault Aenti Kathryn left without me.” Katie sniffed and hugged the pillow closer to her body. “I didn’t do anything improper. Besides, I don’t understand how having a freind is improper. Is being someone’s freind truly a sin? If so, then where is the Bible verse that states it?”
Her mother glowered. “You know better than that, Katie. You’re baptized now, and you know the rules we live by.” She pointed to Katie. “You chose to become a member of this community and pledge your heart to God. Don’t act as if you’re surprised by your dat’s reaction to seeing you come heemet in a strange boy’s truck.”
“He’s not a stranger. He’s a close family freind.” Katie cleared her throat, hoping to dissolve the lump.
“Katie,” her mother began, “I think you consider him as more than a friend. You don’t bake for freinden.”
“I didn’t bake for only Jake,” Katie said, her body trembling. “I brought pretzels in for everyone at the bakery. I shared them with Jake, Hannah, Fannie, Vera, and the rest of the bakers.”
Sadie’s countenance transformed into a sympathetic expression. “I know you’re anxious to find the right bu, and you will. Take your time, and let God guide you to him.”
“I don’t see why I can’t be Jake’s freind. Where’s the sin in that?” she whispered.
“Are you saying you want to be shunned?” Sadie leaned in close. “Your daed would be very upset if he heard you say that.”
Katie wanted to tell her mother not to tell him, but she knew her attitude would be construed as defiant. Instead she rolled onto her side. “I think I want to just rest for a while. Please close the door on your way out.”
“Katie Joy.” Her mother’s voice was authoritative.
Katie sat up. “Ya, Mamm?”
“Are you considering leaving the faith?” Her mother looked worried and upset at the same time. “If you are, then you need to let me know so I can prepare my heart.”
“No.” Fresh tears streamed down Katie’s hot cheeks. “I’m not planning on leaving the faith. I love my family too much.”
“Gut.” Looking relieved, Sadie stood. “Supper will be ready soon.”
Katie watched her mother leave and close the door behind her. She had no appetite after the two emotional conversations with her parents. She rose, removed her prayer covering, and returned to her bed, snuggling under the covers. She couldn’t stop her tears or her disappointment in her parents. Closing her eyes, she sobbed herself to sleep.
Katie awoke to a knock on the door. “Come in.” Her voice croaked the words. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes.
The door opened with a loud squeak and she gazed at Samuel, who was standing in the doorway holding up a plate of food.
“Ready to eat?” he asked, stepping over the threshold. “You missed supper. We had chicken and dumplings tonight. Your favorite.”
“I’m not hungry.” Katie folded her arms over her chest. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
Samuel crossed the room and held the plate in front of Katie, causing her stomach to rumble. “Are you certain you’re not hungry?” He moved the plate back and forth. “It’s still warm.”
She took the plate and fork. “Danki.” After a silent prayer, she dug in, enjoying her mother’s delicious food. “It is gut.”
Samuel sat in a chair next to the bed and watched her eat. She waited for him to make a comment, but he was silent until her plate was clean.
“Jake Miller, huh?” Samuel finally asked. “Why?”
Katie frowned and placed the plate and fork on the nightstand. “Did you come up to lecture me? If so, I’ve already heard it all from Mamm and Dat. I’m finished with listening to lectures today.”
He crossed one leg over the other and rested his hands on his knee. “I’m not here to lecture you, but I’m trying to understand.”
“He gave me a ride heemet, because I was stranded at the bakery. We’re just freinden.” She studied her brother. “I don’t know why Mamm and Dat are making such a big deal about this. I tried to call both the phone in the shanty and the furniture store. My only other choice was to walk heemet in the pouring rain.”
“But you should’ve known Dat would go off the deep end,” Samuel said. “Do you want to be shunned?”
“Of course I don’t.” She moved to sit on the edge of the bed facing him. “I just want to be his freind.”
“You’ve really upset Dat,” Samuel said.
“Today wasn’t planned, Sam,” Katie said. “I’m telling you the truth when I say I was stranded. I’m telling the truth that I walked back into the kitchen from the pantry and everyone was gone. I wonder if they thought you’d picked me up like you did the day you went to see Daadi for fence supplies.” She shook her head. “I wish you’d believe me. My choice was to ride heemet with Jake or walk in the pouring rain.”
Samuel nodded. “I believe you, Katie, but I get the feeling you like him as more than a freind.”
“I like talking to him,” Katie said, shrugging. “He’s really nice. I wish I could get to know him better.” She paused for a moment. “Samuel, what would you do if you were me?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. My future fraa is a baptized member of the community. We don’t have to worry about our relationship causing any problems for us. You won’t be able to have a life like that with him unless you leave the faith. Is that what you want? You know Dat would
never accept you if you left.”
“You’re right,” Katie said. “Dat is not like Jake’s grossdaadi.”
“No, he’s not.” Samuel shook his head. “It wouldn’t be like Jake’s situation where his mamm and grandparents worked things out even though she was shunned.”
“And I don’t want to leave the faith,” Katie said. “My heart belongs to this community.”
“I know.” Samuel frowned.
“I can’t be freinden with Jake,” Katie said the words slowly as the reality filtered through her. “I guess I knew that all along, but I didn’t want to accept it.”
“I know you’re unhappy, and I’m sorry for that,” Samuel said. “But you’ll find happiness here. I know it. You just may have to wait a while until you find the right person.”
Katie sighed. She couldn’t imagine meeting anyone who would make her feel like she did with Jake. Conversation was so easy with him. It was as though they connected on a deeper level than she’d ever connected with anyone else. But now she had to walk away from him and act like they were never friends. How could she ever do it?
“I need to just keep my distance from him and hope someday he’ll understand,” she said.
Samuel stood and grabbed the plate and fork from the end table. “I’m sure he’ll understand. He knows the rules we live by.” His expression was serious. “You need to convince Dat you won’t disobey him again so you can go back to the youth gatherings.”
“Why does it matter if I go to the gatherings?” she asked with a frown. “You’re with Lizzie Anne, and Lindsay is with Matthew. It doesn’t matter if I’m there or not. When I am there, I hang out with Nancy and her freinden now. I’ll never meet anyone new hanging out with them.”
“I doubt you’ll meet anyone with that kind of attitude.” He started toward the door. “I just wanted to bring you something to eat. I felt bad that you missed supper.”