by Nella Tyler
I knew how silly I sounded. I wasn't self-conscious about who I was. Up until recently, I had the utmost confidence in my abilities and my intelligence. Just because I couldn't find a job right now as a teacher didn't mean that I wouldn't, or couldn't, in the near future. I knew I had to be patient. Was I discouraged? Yes. Was I disappointed? Of course. In that regard, perhaps I had been naïve, as well. I had done my time at college, worked hard to get my education, received my diploma and graduated, with honors no less, and I had assumed that I would walk through those doors and have a job the next day.
When I sent in my first application for the position of a high school history teacher, I had figured I would receive a call within a day or two. "You're hired!" I had imagined that they would gush about my accomplishments in college, my good grades, my excellent GPA, my extracurricular activities, blah, blah, blah.
To my surprise, I hadn't heard anything back the following day, or the following week, and that's when I realized that I had to work a little bit harder to get what I wanted. I think overall I had sent two-dozen applications to schools in this and neighboring districts, but all I had received so far were a few invitations to interview. Those have gone nowhere. Since then, silence.
My father had suggested that he would pull some strings. After all, he knew people, he said. I had refused his offer. I didn't want him to help me get a job. I wanted to do it all by myself. Now look where I was. I had been hired as a maid. Was I ashamed or embarrassed about that? Not at all. It was gainful employment, but I was disappointed that my plans hadn't exactly proceeded as I had thought they would.
I had had several disagreements with my father since my graduation from college about the dearth of jobs in the local school districts. He had even suggested my relocating. He could set me up in any city I wanted, but I loved Raleigh. I didn't want to move. My family, my life, my memories, and my friends were here. Everything was familiar to me. To be honest, though, I had to admit that the thought of moving scared me more than a little. While I wanted and craved independence, I didn't want to expand my horizons that fast. I wasn’t that adventurous! Yes, I wanted to be on my own and make my own way in life, but I wanted to do so one step at a time, at my own pace.
My father had been extremely disgruntled when he discovered that I was putting in applications outside of the school district. He had blustered quite a bit that if I would just let him, he could secure me a position in one of the schools in the Raleigh area with a phone call. He couldn’t seem to understand why I refused. The last time I had spoken to him, the conversation had not ended on the most pleasant of terms. I regretted that, really I did, because I loved my parents very much. I appreciated everything they did for me, had done for me. At the same time, I couldn't understand why he couldn't grasp the fact that I needed to do this on my own.
So what to do about Luke? Should I call Samantha? Ask for advice again? No. I knew what she would say. She would say end it. Quit. Cut the cord. Turn my back and walk – no, run away before more damage could be done.
I couldn't. I absolutely refused to give up so easily. Admit it, I told myself. You are attracted to Luke. If you weren't in this situation, you would want to get to know him better. So what difference did it make that I was his maid? Maybe, if I told him the truth… no, I didn't want to do that. Would he still be attracted to me if he knew about my background, about my history? I knew that it didn't matter to me where he came from. But would it matter to him? I could've cared less if he’d grown up privileged, on the “wrong side of the tracks,” or anywhere in between. That he was rich now also made no difference to me.
As far as he was concerned, I was a college graduate unable to find a job. I had accepted the job as a maid, a job that didn’t require any particular skills, education, or knowledge base. He’d pretty much handed the job over to me without any guidelines whatsoever. Anyone could be a maid, I thought, and he probably thought so, too. Did he think he was doing me some kind of favor? If I weren’t attractive, as Samantha said, would he have glanced at me twice?
What did Luke want with me, other than the obvious, of course? Why would a man in his position want to develop a relationship with his maid? My mind went around and around and around, asking myself these questions over and over and over again. My head throbbing, I finally closed my eyes and stretched out on the sofa, so confused. I tried to think of anything else. I needed to do my laundry. I needed to go run some errands. I couldn't do anything, though, but lie on the couch and try and figure out what exactly Luke wanted. More importantly, what did I want?
*
I woke up with a crick in my neck, confused for several moments. It was almost dark outside, the last rays of sunset casting a dull glow through my living room. I realized I'd fallen asleep on the couch. The phone lay on my stomach, my hand grasping it as if it were my lifeline. It all came back to me in a rush. I groaned and slowly sat up, realizing that I had to get this over with. I had to make a decision, one way or the other, and be willing to deal, and live with, the ramifications.
Staring down at the phone, I accessed my voicemail messages and listened to them again. Then, taking a deep breath, I pressed the “return call” button. My heart rate accelerated. I was nervous, although I didn't know exactly why. I felt butterflies in my stomach. The phone rang three, four, then five times. I was just trying to decide what I would say in my own voicemail message when the call was answered.
"Molly?"
"Yes, it's me." I said nothing for a moment. Then I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Luke, did you put your contact information into my phone?" He didn't say anything. "I'm not sure how I feel about that…"
"I'm sorry," he said. "That was intrusive and presumptuous of me. Thank you for calling me back. I- I've done a lot of thinking today, and I realized that I probably overstepped my bounds as an employer. I may be new at this, but I do know that there are boundaries between employers and employees. Those boundaries exist everywhere, not just among the elite."
"Luke-"
"No," he interrupted gently. "Let me finish. Let me apologize."
I sat back on the couch, my relief growing that at least he did understand that we had crossed a line. Where it went from here was not only up to him, but also to me.
"I don't care if I am your employer, Molly, and I don't care if you're my maid. I don't care if I have money and you don't… I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm attracted to you. I would be attracted to you no matter what you did for a living."
He thought I was poor. I wondered if I should tell him the truth, but before I could open my mouth, he pressed on.
"Molly, like I said in my voicemail, I want you to know that as far as I'm concerned, it's not just about sex…although the sex was great."
I heard the humor in his voice and smiled. I thought so, too.
"I also know how important reputation is, and I want you to know that I won't do anything to smudge your reputation. I can be very discreet. We can be discreet, but one thing I know for sure is that I do want to get to know you better. There's something about you Molly that pulls me to you like that old cliché about a moth being drawn to a flame. I honestly have to tell you that I don't understand it because I've never felt this way about somebody."
He paused for several moments. Funny, I was thinking the same.
"I don't want to come across as creepy," he said with a self-deprecating laugh. "I'm not a stalker, I'm not clingy, I'm not a pervert, and I'm not a creep. What I am, however, is incredibly attracted to you, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. So, here's my question for you. Will you give me another chance to prove to you that I'm interested in more than a romp in bed, as enjoyable as that romp might have been? Do you think we can get the chance to know each other a little better?"
I said nothing for a moment. Should I or shouldn't I? I quickly ran through Samantha's argument in my head, but then decided that like everything I had decided since I left school, I had to make my own way. If I made a mistake, so
be it.
"Molly?"
"I'm here," I said. "I'd like to get to know you better, too, Luke," I admitted. For a moment, he didn't say anything, and I wondered if he was surprised. When he spoke, his voice sounded much lighter than it had before.
"That's great, Molly, I'm glad to hear it. I don't want you to worry about anything. Like I said, we can be discreet."
"So where do we go from here?"
"You still want to work for me? Do you still want to be my maid?"
Hell yes. "I'd like to, Luke," I replied honestly. I guess sometimes a person just needs to take a chance, and I was willing to take a chance with him. If I got hurt, it would be on me. If I didn't take a chance, I might never know what might have happened. That would be on me, as well.
"Can I see you tomorrow?"
"I suppose so," I said. "It is my official day off," I said, with a small laugh.
"I'm going to win you over, I'm telling you that right now,” he promised. “Tomorrow we'll have a fun-filled day, and we'll get to know each other a little better. I want you to know that you taking a chance on me means a lot."
I murmured an agreement. He was taking a chance on me, as well. That was the way of relationships, wasn’t it? Putting yourself out there, willing to risk sharing yourself with another person, and risking hurt along the way?
"I'll tell you what, Molly," he said. “I'm going to court you, the old-fashioned way."
"What?" I wasn't sure what he meant.
"Don't you worry about a thing, Molly. I have a nice day planned, and you'll be pleasantly surprised." He paused. "Deal?"
"Deal." An awkward silence came between us for a moment, and then I heard him clear his throat.
"I have to go now, but I'll send my driver for you at about noon tomorrow, okay? No, I'll come pick you up. Will that be all right with you?"
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't want him to come to my condo. There was no way a maid could have afforded a condo in my location. I tried to think of a quick excuse. "Actually, I'm spending the morning with my friend. She's driving. How about I just have her drop me off at the park on Fifth Street when we're finished? I wouldn't mind just sitting outdoors for a little while before you come pick me up. Would that be okay with you?"
I felt a little guilty being so secretive, but I felt it was necessary. I also realized that continuing to keep my secret could very well spell an end to our new and burgeoning relationship before it even got off the ground. Still, I didn't want to tell him over the phone.
"That sounds fine," he said. "Dress comfortable. Nothing fancy."
"Okay," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, Molly."
Chapter 5
The day dawned bright and warm, but not as humid as typical for this time of year. It looked like it was going to turn out to be a perfect day for whatever plans Luke had made for our date. While I still wasn't quite sure I was making the right decision, I would see what happened. I knew that Samantha wouldn't be happy with me if I told her about it, so I didn't. After all, one could only take so much criticism in one day.
I respected Samantha's opinion and I did take her cautions under consideration, but after talking to Luke, I realized that he wouldn't purposely do anything to harm my reputation. Of course, I knew things could get out; it was really hard to keep a secret no matter where you worked, whether an office building or an estate. People saw, people talked. Still, Luke didn't have that many people working for him. There were only three, as a matter of fact; at least at the moment. I had yet to even see the gardener, and I only saw the chef on rare occasions. As far as I knew, he had never even seen Luke and me together in the same room.
For now, I figured things would be relatively safe and I didn't have the worry about anyone spying on me. While my parents were certainly known in the higher social circles around Raleigh, I didn't think many people knew me personally. Luke was still relatively new to the area, or so I gathered, so he probably didn’t know that many people, either. Without fodder to feed the gossip mill, I had a feeling that no one would see us together and even if they did, not think much of it.
I felt bad about lying to Luke – again – about being out and about this morning. I knew that sooner or later, I would have to tell him about my background, but I wanted to see how today went first. It wasn't like we were going steady or anything. It was just a day out, no strings attached.
I kept myself busy with chores most of the morning, and then, with an hour before I was to meet him at the park, I left my condo and strolled to the park. It was a pleasant half-hour walk. It was a good time for me to try to clear my mind, push away the hundreds of questions gnawing in my brain, and just trying to find my own Zen space before our date, if that's what I even wanted to call it. I wasn't sure. I did feel a little better, though, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, by admitting to myself that yes, I was attracted to Luke, and yes, I wanted to get to know him better.
If and when I had to, I'd make a decision regarding my job, tell him about my background, and about my father. For now, however, I would just leave things the way they were. I would let Luke take the lead.
When I reached the park, I sat down on my favorite bench, within easy view of the main parking lot that served the beautifully landscaped park. I heard the kids playing in the distance behind me, and contented myself with watching an older couple stroll slowly along the path through the trees. Cars came and went. Then I recognized Luke's jeep pulling into the parking lot. I smiled. He could have any car in the world, but he certainly wasn't ostentatious when it came to his choice of vehicles. Yes he had another car and a driver, but I was glad to see that he was driving his own car today.
I watched as he got out of the jeep and shut the door, removing a pair of sunglasses to glance around the park, obviously looking for me. I took the moment to admire his profile. I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at him. He was so handsome. Still, I knew there was more to people than just their appearance. I certainly wouldn't want someone judging me on my appearance alone, so I wouldn't do the same to Luke. I lifted my arm and called out to him.
"Luke!"
He turned to the sound of my voice and flashed a brilliant smile. I think it was the first real smile that I'd seen from him. He walked over, his eyes never leaving me. His gaze left me feeling warm and tingly in all the right places. Damn. He paused in front of the bench, looking down at me.
"Hi, Molly," he said.
"Hello, Luke," I said, suddenly feeling shy and uncertain.
"This is a nice park," he commented. "I've never been here."
"I come here all the time, mainly to clear my mind and to relax." To my surprise, he sat down on the bench next to me, not touching, but close enough. He draped his arm over the back of the bench near my shoulders. I felt the heat emanating from his skin. When I glanced up into his face, I noted his serious expression.
"Molly, I want you to know that what I said yesterday morning just came out all wrong. I didn't mean to imply anything bad or suggestive about it."
"Luke-"
"The truth is, while I'm not normally so…I guess the only way to put it is crass, I have to tell you that I am very attracted to you and sometimes I get a little tongue-tied. There, I said it."
I glanced at him in surprise. He got tongue-tied around me? Why? It should be the other way around. I don't think he was waiting for a reply, so I didn't try to come up with one. He stood, reached his hand down for me, and after just the slightest hesitation, I placed my hand in his and stood. Merely the contact of my hand with his sent a frisson of electricity racing through me. Of its own accord, my heartbeat accelerated. One glance at his lips had me remembering the sex we had together.
"I think you'll like what I have planned for today," he said, leading the way back to the Jeep.
I said nothing, not like I was trying to play hard to get or anything, but because his comments didn't really require a response and I was afraid that if I
opened my mouth just now, I would say something stupid. I had a feeling he was trying to ease the embarrassment I felt over our sexual encounter and the way we had left things, so I appreciated his efforts. He was giving me time to reacclimatize, and I was grateful.
As he drove, I realized that we were heading for the Interstate 40 south out of Raleigh. I didn't know where we were going and he hadn't said anything yet, but it was a beautiful day and I was sure the drive would be just as nice. We passed through a number of rural communities and shared a laugh or two about some of the road names that we passed along the way. Integrity Drive. Virtuous Street. Jones Sausage Road.
It was pleasant, no pressure, and I didn't mind the silent spaces. After we been on the road for about an hour, I had an inkling where we were going. When we passed Newton Grove and finally drove through Saint Helena and Rocky Point, I turned to him.
"We’re going to Wilmington? To the beach?"
"Wilmington, no, but to the beach, yes," he said with a grin.
I was delighted. What a nice way to spend the day. I hadn't been to the beach in ages. "So if we’re not going to Wilmington, where are we going?"
"Ever hear of a place called Topsail Beach?"
I shook my head.
"Just before we get to Wilmington, we’ll take the state route north along the seaboard. Topsail Beach is just south of the Holly Shelter Game Land. Actually, it's not far from Surf City."
"Oh, I've heard of Surf City," I said. Actually, I was relatively familiar with the Wilmington area and the peninsula that extended down from it along Carolina Beach and then onto Bald Head Island. My parents had a beach house on Caswell Beach near the Oak Island Golf Club, just across the Cape Fear River from Bald Head Island. The area was gorgeous, threaded with intracoastal waterways, rivers, and streams and had great fishing.
"A friend of mine told me about Topsail Beach," he continued. “He said it had some of the most gorgeous sunsets along the North Carolina coast."