by Nella Tyler
I let go of the doorknob and turned to face him, crossing my arms over my chest. I looked up into his eyes for several moments. He held my gaze. "Are you?" I asked.
He said nothing for several moments, and then crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, Molly, I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed about all of this."
"Embarrassed about what?" I asked. Was he talking about our relationship?
"Will you sit down in the living room with me and allow me to try to explain?"
I thought about it. No doubt about it – I was torn. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but his comment about my paycheck and his hesitance to answer my questions left me feeling frustrated and perturbed. Finally, I decided that if I were going to continue with this relationship, I would have to hear him out, at least this time. If I didn't like what he said, I was out of here. I don't care how sexy he was, how much I loved having sex with him, or how good he made me feel. If I didn't feel as though I could trust him, what was the point with continuing with the relationship?
Finally, I sighed and let my purse slide gently onto the floor by the front door. I nodded and then followed him into the living room. I sat down and he sat next to me, not too close, but it wasn't like he was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, either. He sighed and acted as if he was trying to collect his thoughts. I did my best to listen, telling myself not to interrupt until he had finished his explanation.
He finally sat back and brushed his fingers through his hair. One hand casually rested on his thigh, the other draped on the back of the couch as he faced me. I was pretty much sitting the same way, our knees about six inches apart.
"When I inherited all this money, I didn't realize that it involved so many investments," he began.
I could imagine that stepping into such a situation could be quite overwhelming for someone who wasn't used to having money, let alone the hard work that I knew was involved in keeping and growing it.
"Along with my grandfather's estate, I also inherited my father's not so legal friends." He paused, as if waiting for a reaction.
He noted my confusion.
"My grandfather passed down just a small part of his inheritance to my father, and then when my father died, the entire estate came to me. I never knew that my grandfather had so much money, and growing up, my father never acted like he had much, either. It's not like I lived dirt poor, but my dad was a tight-fisted old bastard.” He paused. “Don't get me wrong, Molly, it wasn't as though I felt I had missed out on anything in life. There was always food on the table, a roof over our heads. I always had decent clothes to wear. He even bought me a car for my sixteenth birthday…nothing fancy, but something I could tinker with that got me through high school and part of college. Still, by the time I left home, we had pretty much come to a parting of the ways."
He was silent for several moments, and I commiserated. I had grown up in a close-knit family. I wondered what it would have been like to grow up in a family where there wasn't the kind of affection, communication, and guidance I had received.
"My dad wasn't the easiest person to be around. He drank a lot, disappeared for days on end, doing God only knows what… At any rate, when my father died and the money was passed on to me, I began looking closer at his books. I realized that he had several; well…I guess I could call them money managers, although I doubt any of them were ever licensed and certified. Anyway, it looked like he had had them for decades. Their business dealings were so intertwined, I knew it would be difficult to untangle them."
I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I remained silent, allowing Luke to tell his story at his own pace.
"I can tell you right now, Molly, I didn't want to take up that torch. Yes, these so-called financial advisors and my dad were involved in some questionable dealings. Some of them involved insider trading." He paused for several moments. "I would have been perfectly content to invest legally, but at the same time, I was warned, and not too subtly by these guys, that I shouldn't do anything to disrupt the relationship that had existed between my dad and his advisors for decades."
I sat stunned. So, Luke was literally being blackmailed by criminals to keep doing bad things and engage in criminal activities? "But this is serious stuff, Luke," I said. "Can't you just go tell the police? Are you afraid that you'll lose all your money?"
He sighed. "You know, Molly, I lived without money most of my life, so to be honest, I'm not sure whether I'm willing to risk losing it all now. It’s nice to have money. At the same time, I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Besides, these guys are kind of tough."
My eyes widened. "Are they associated with the mob…the Mafia?" I asked.
He shrugged. “I don't know, and I'm not going to come right out and ask them. All I know is that when my dad passed and they gathered in his office while I was going through some of his papers, they quite bluntly suggested that things stay the same-"
“How long has your father been dead?" I asked, unable to stifle my curiosity.
"Three years now," he said. "And I'm telling you the truth, Molly. I have successfully managed to back away from most of the dirty contacts my father kept, but there is still one or two left."
"Who are they?" I asked.
He refused to answer, and I supposed I could understand his hesitance to give me names, but at the same time, I wanted to know.
"You obviously know, as well as I do now, that dealing in the stock market is a huge endeavor and involves hundreds, if not thousands, of people involved in various transactions. I doubt you'd know them. But I assure you, as soon as I can, I'm going to be backing away from all of it completely."
I wasn't sure whether I believed him or not. "Are you telling me that you've been dealing with inside trading for years and you haven't gotten caught?"
He shrugged, but it wasn't flippant. It looked to me as if he really did feel bad about it. Then again, if he felt that bad about it, he would've reported it, wouldn't he? I wasn't sure how I felt about that. He said nothing. "You do know that the longer this goes on, the higher the chances are that you're going to get caught, right?"
"I know that," he said. "I've worked hard to try and get everything cleaned up."
"But, Luke, why didn't you just go to the authorities? Why don't you go now? You do know that insider trading can affect everyone involved, right? It's not right!"
"Molly, I'm asking you to trust me," he said. "Yes, I am new at this, but I do know the difference between right and wrong. I'll admit that I don't want to lose all the money that my grandfather worked very hard to amass. I will also tell you that I haven't taken advantage of a number of…how shall I say it…suggestions by the remaining money managers," he said, emphasizing the term with a bite of sarcasm.
"Then how did you manage to get rid of the rest of them?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I paid a couple of them off. Cost a pretty penny, too. One of them got cancer and is dying. I've-"
"So you're telling me that basically you've been allowing yourself to be blackmailed by these people?” I stared at him in shock. “How do you think your grandfather would feel about you paying them off with the money he earned?" I knew I was being hard on him, but this was not anything to be messing with. Insider trading was serious business. "Not to mention that you could end up in jail for years, plus lose everything you have. Luke, do you realize how much trouble you could get into if you're caught?"
He nodded. "Why do you think I spend so much time up in my office? I'm trying to extricate myself from this mess that my father created. It's not easy. I have to teach myself about investments, trading, and managing all this money. No one did that for me. I don't have anybody to turn to. I'm doing it on my own!"
I could tell he was growing increasingly frustrated. While I felt I had every right to accuse him, I also had to put myself in his position. What would I have done? What would I have done if I were handling money that my father, my grandfather, and even my great-grandfather ha
d spent years amassing, and realized that they had done so illegally? I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would feel.
What right did I have to tell Luke what he should do? I sighed. "Luke, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. The sooner you can get out of this entire mess, the better off you'll be. Even then, you'll always run the risk of someone finding out. I don't even know if there's a statute of limitations on insider trading. Do you?"
"No," he said. "But, Molly, I want you to know that I'm trying to be open here. Am I proud of what I've done? Not at all. I'm trying to get out of this as gracefully as I can. It's a mess. A bloody mess. I wish I could tell you that tomorrow I would be willing to go to the SEC, blab the whole story, take the risk of losing everything, but I'm not."
I wasn't sure how that made me feel, and my mind was spinning with all this knowledge. He'd taken a chance saying anything to me. I had made him no promises. In fact, as far as he knew, I could leave his house and go tell my father everything he had told me. I could report him to the SEC over the phone. My father would probably report him to the authorities in less than a minute. Did I want that? Did I want to see Luke go to jail? No, I didn't.
A headache once again began to pound behind my eyes. As far as I was concerned, I was now just as involved in this mess as he was.
Chapter 3
I told Luke and I needed time to think about all this. It was a lot of information to process, none of which I liked. I did appreciate that he had opened up to me, at least a little bit. The problem was I wasn't sure if I believed it all. Even the most naïve investor understood the severity of being charged with insider trading. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't just a slap on the wrist. With millions of dollars at stake, insider trading could not only wipe out a person’s life savings and hard work, but damage their reputation forever.
Case in point, Martha Stewart. Yes, she had gone to jail for her crimes, and she had emerged and tried to pick up the pieces, but you knew, when anyone heard the name, their first thought was, "Oh, she was convicted and sent to jail for insider trading." She could be the greatest designer or cook in the world, or anything else for that matter, but the label would always stick. She, like many others who had been accused of and convicted of insider trading, would carry the yoke of that conviction on their shoulders for the rest of their lives.
I was aware that my father knew someone who had been convicted of insider trading. They had been boyhood friends for years. As far as I knew, they were still friends, but my dad stayed well away from any financial associations with the guy. If my dad even had an inkling that his old friend was involved in any type of business venture in which he was interested, my father backed away. Nobody wanted to be tainted with that label: crooked. Untrustworthy. Trust was a big deal, but even more so in the world of the wealthy, was respect.
"Molly?"
"Luke, I'm going to go home," I said. "I need to process this. I still don't feel as if you're being completely honest with me, but it least you told me the truth, or at least part of it."
"Molly-"
I held out my hand. “No, Luke, it's enough for now, but like I said, I need to think about this. I know it can be difficult to make your own way in this environment, especially when old money and old contracts, old friendships and old obligations are involved. I can even understand how this might have happened to someone who was literally thrown into it without any proper guidance."
"Molly, I'm trying to-"
"I know you are," I said. "The problem in that this kind of hole can be incredibly difficult to dig yourself out of.” I rose from the couch and headed for the front door. After retrieving my purse from the floor, I reached for the doorknob and turned it. "Just give me a little bit of time, okay? You and I both have some serious considerations to deal with. I realize, from what you said, that you’ve made some progress, but the plain truth of the matter is it's not going to matter one iota if you're still involved. If anyone finds out, it's not a matter how much progress you've made in getting rid of your dad's old cronies. The fact that you're still doing it-"
"Are you going to tell?"
I stared up at him, looking at the wary expression he wore. I could tell he was worried. At this moment, I had the power to destroy him, completely and thoroughly. My heart thudded dully in my chest. I shook my head. "No, at least not at the moment," I replied honestly. He made a face. "Look, Luke, as far as I'm concerned, my knowledge about this makes me just as culpable as you. I don't like being put into this position, but as I told you before, we need to be honest with each other. Maybe we can figure a way to get out of this without any serious repercussions or damage to your reputation. But before that can happen, I need to think."
"You'll be back?"
I said nothing, but sighed. "Luke, until you get my notice in your hand, I'll be back – as your maid, okay? I just need time to be by myself for a while. I'll be back at work first thing in the morning, okay?"
"Okay, Molly," he said. His voice was low, somber, and riddled with guilt. "I always thought having money was a good thing, but I see now that it always comes at a cost. I just hope that that cost isn't too great."
I said nothing, but turned and stepped through the door, closing it softly behind me. My head was reeling. Ever since I had met Luke, I felt as if I was riding an out-of-control rollercoaster. These ups and downs in our relationship – were they normal? Was I wishing for something that wasn't possible? Was I expecting too much of him or of myself?
Insider trading! Never in my life would I have guessed that Luke Benning would be involved in such dealings. That he had literally inherited them was beside the point. He should have… Well, maybe that wasn't fair. I had grown up with money all my life. Would I want to suddenly be penniless? No. I didn't imagine that someone who'd grown up without all that money would want to willfully give it up, either.
Tired, my head aching, and my thoughts spinning in my head, I got into my car and drove out of Luke's driveway, heading back to my own condo. I looked forward to going home, surrounded by my things. I needed to do some serious thinking, and I needed to do it now.
*
I had spent a restless night, tossing and turning in my bed. Half asleep, I don’t know how many times I rolled over, expecting to feel my arms wrapped around Luke's waist, but when I felt nothing, I was jarred fully awake, realizing that I was lying in my own bed – alone. Then everything else hit me. The argument. The insider trading. His admission of guilt.
Those thoughts ran through my mind in an endless cycle until dawn brightened the sky and my alarm clock went off. It was time to go to work. I couldn't worry about all this and do my job at the same time. The problem was, they were all interconnected, weren't they?
I would have to focus hard and try to separate my job as Luke’s maid from his…from his what? Lover? Is that what we were? Or was I his girlfriend? I still wasn’t sure where I stood in regard to Luke Benning. Was any man worth all this emotional turmoil? Was any man worth this upheaval in my life? All I wanted was to work, to be a teacher, to find my place in the world. My place in the world where I could count on something, on someone. I wanted a relationship. Who didn’t? I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, but this thing with Luke…there were so many issues, so much drama.
I sat up in bed, the sheets and blankets rumpled around me. I felt lethargic, sore in a number of places that I hadn’t even felt in a long while, which was perfectly understandable, considering what Luke and I had been doing recently. Still, I had a feeling that my lethargy was not merely caused by physical exertion, but by emotional turmoil. I stared out the window, my head spinning. What a way to start the day.
What the hell had happened? Why was it that the one guy that I felt so attracted to had to be involved in illegal activity? Oh, I knew he wasn't trying to hurt anyone and chances were he never would. Still – insider trading? Such an ugly business. If my father ever found out – wait. Could he have found out already? Could this be the reason he had ordered
Luke to stop seeing me? I had yet to hear from my dad. Perhaps I needed to call him, get this out in the open. Not the insider trading per se, but the reasons for his wanting me to stay away from Luke. Was it just the insider trading or something else? Something worse?
I shook my head before I allowed my thoughts to run away with me. I had thought that my father would've called me by now. Surely he knew by now that I was aware of what he had said to Luke. Still, I was just as capable of picking up the phone as he was. I could imagine that neither of us wanted to broach this conversation. It was the first time my father had done something like this, maneuvered behind my back without telling me why.
It was all a big mess, and I had no idea of the steps I could take to get it straightened out. With a groan, I heaved myself out of bed, heading for the shower. I felt bad for missing so much work already. I didn’t suppose that Luke would dock my pay, but in many other worlds, I probably would've been fired already. That thought also disturbed me. If I couldn't take my job, no matter how simple, seriously, what did that say about me? About the kind of person I was?
In less than a week after starting my new job, I had allowed myself to become charmed by my employer. Literally seduced, although I had been a willing participant in that seduction. And here I thought I was so grown up, so mature. I shook my head ruefully. I had a lot of growing up to do, a lot of learning.
That learning curve also applied to my up-and-down relationship with Luke. I had what I considered to be half-knowledge of Luke's less than stellar business dealings. Had he really told me the truth? Was there more to it than he had told me? Was there something that I didn't know, other than the name of the two guys he was still dealing with? And what did they hold over his head to prevent Luke from dumping them once and for all? Blackmail? Threats? Danger? My heart skipped a beat. Would Luke be in some kind of physical danger by dumping these last two contacts? That last contact?