by Nella Tyler
Chapter 2
“What are you saying?" I asked, although I understood every word. My father was a leader, rarely willing to follow anyone anywhere. He had spent years, decades, making his own decisions, amassing his fortune, obviously using a variety of methods, not all of them above board, apparently. I was still reeling with this information and didn't want to believe it was true.
I felt so disillusioned, so disappointed, not only in Luke, but also with my father. In turn, how could I avoid my own feelings? I felt like a phony, a poser. I hadn't earned anything – not this condo, not my car, not all the nice things that I had enjoyed throughout my life. At the same time, I realized how naïve and somewhat foolish it had been of me to accept a job as a maid. Luke might have paid more than minimum wage, but getting involved with him, going through this emotional turmoil, was almost more than I could bear.
At the moment, I wanted nothing more than to be a teacher, to work with little children, with young minds being molded into decent, law-abiding human beings. I wanted to be a part of that, a part of showing them a good example, but was I? Once again, I felt the surge of hot tears burning my eyes, but desperately blinked them back.
"Molly-"
I shook my head. "There's nothing to say, Luke. While I certainly don't have a problem believing that my father is capable of controlling people, as I very well know he can, I still don't want to belief that any of this is true. My father has always micromanaged my life, my mother's life, but it's the way I was raised. I was used to it. I only began to notice in greater depth after I moved into my condo here.”
“Molly-”
I shook my head and kept on going. I had to get it out. “Then, when he gave you that ultimatum, it made me angry that he thought he could have such control over me." I looked at Luke. "Is that the reason he doesn't want me to see you? Because he thinks that you will tell me what he's been involved in all this time? He's managed to keep it a secret for God knows how long, and now I know. I wonder if that's what he’s been afraid of all along…that I’d find out?"
"I can't speak for your father, Molly," Luke said. "I know how much I've disappointed you. I'm sorry for that. I also know that the feeling must be ten times worse when it has to do with your father and your knowledge-"
My head jerked up, and I gazed at him in surprise, leaning forward on the couch. "He’s my father, Luke. I will always love him, no matter what he's done. Do you understand that? Regardless of my knowing any of this…of his possible connections to insider trading and perhaps even more business dealings that have been underhanded and sneaky, I feel the same way about him." I shook my head as my heart pounded. "But that doesn't mean I want anything to do with him. As a matter of fact, if my father is involved in such activities, and I have verifiable proof that it's true, I'm prepared to cut him off…cut him out of my life."
Luke's eyes widened in surprise. "Molly, how can you? He’s your father! Besides, how are you going to support yourself?"
"I went to school to be a teacher, remember?" I interrupted again. "This maid business was just temporary, a way to fill my time and make me feel useful and productive until I find a job as a teacher somewhere." I shook my head, growing angry again. "Maybe I should move away. In fact, maybe I should move so far away-"
"Molly, don't-"
I pointed my finger at him. "Don't you dare tell me what to do, Luke Benning," I demanded. "My life used to be carefree, and now it's nothing but a mess. In the past month, I've managed to get myself involved with a guy involved in insider trading, and lo and behold, then discover that not only is my father involved, but has been pretty much directing the entire operation!"
“Molly, perhaps I overstated-”
"How do you expect me to feel? How do you expect me to react?"
“Molly, I was surprised when I found out about my own father's dealings, and believe it or not, I soon found myself involved, as well." He paused as if searching for words. “It’s like I not only inherited a fortune from my grandfather, but I inherited this mess caused by my father. I’ve tried to get out. I have! You have to believe me.”
“I have to? I have to? Why, Luke? You haven’t been honest with me since the start!”
"Don't cut me off, Molly. Don't cut your father off. There's got to be a way to deal with this-"
"Do you have any suggestions?" I asked, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice. "To be honest with you, Luke, I don't know if I can trust anything you tell me. You have lied to me repeatedly about this whole business-"
"I was ashamed, Molly, embarrassed. Regardless of what I'm involved in, I want you to know that my feelings about you are honest and true."
I wasn't even sure whether I should believe that. I decided to test him. "So again, let me put this to you, Luke, in terms that you understand."
"Anything."
"Don't answer too quickly because you're not going to like it." He said nothing. “You really want me in your life?"
"Of course I do," he said. "That's what I just told you. I…I think I’m falling in love with you, Molly."
I sat back on the couch, mulling his words. Was he telling the truth or was he just offering platitudes? I was only now developing my own conception of my feelings for Luke, and realized that yes; love could very well define what I felt for him. In fact, I had to believe that if I weren’t in love with him, he wouldn't be standing in front of me in my condo at this moment; I would never have given him a second chance, let alone a third.
That thought also brought some contemplation, as if I didn't already have enough on my mind. How far did one go supporting a loved one when that loved one did something wrong? I also had to think of myself, selfish as that sounded. Since I knew about Luke's dealings, and apparently, my father's, although I didn't know the details, could I be considered complicit in their crimes? I wasn't sure. I would have to somehow find out about that.
The bottom line, however, was that I knew what they were doing was wrong. I didn't know how deeply Luke was involved, but if he had invested a bulk of his money into it, than he was in pretty deep. What about my father? I had no idea and no way of finding out. One thing I knew for sure. I didn't want to go to jail. I didn't want to be accused of anything that would endanger my future, or my ability to earn a living for myself. The reason I had gotten a job as a maid in the first place, even though I was waiting for a placement as a teacher, was to support myself, be independent. I didn't want to rely on my parents’ money for the rest of my life.
Luke shouldn't, either. As far as I was concerned, people either earned their money the hard way, the right way, or they were the type of people that took advantage of others and didn't care about the repercussions or the ramifications, or what they did to those other people.
"You say you love me," I said. I felt a sense of calm come over me. I knew that one way or another, I would know exactly how devoted to me Luke really was. "While I believe you do, and I also have strong feelings for you, it doesn't make this problem go away." He said nothing, as if contemplating my words.
"What are you suggesting?"
“What I suggested the first time. You give it up. You either make your money honestly, or not at all." I shrugged. "Life isn't about earning as much money as you can. I'd rather do without and scrimp and save for every penny, than hurt other people in my business dealings."
He frowned and shook his head. "You don't know what you're saying, Molly. You-"
"I do," I insisted. “I can live without being rich. Can you?"
"I know what it's like to grow up without having everything handed to me on a silver platter," he began. "And I was luckier than most of my friends. You might say many of them grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. I've known friends whose parents had to sacrifice a lot just to buy used clothes from the second hand stores for their kids every school year. I know several friends that weren't able to go to college because they couldn't afford the tuition, even working two or three jobs."
He shook his head. �
�I didn't grow up rich, Molly, but I grew up okay. You are, and were, in an even better position. Are you saying that you would so easily turn your back on it all?"
I nodded. "In a heartbeat." Even so, my heart thumped painfully in my chest. It was a frightening thought, but I knew I could do it. I knew it.
He shook his head in confusion. “But why? How can you say that? You've seen how difficult it is to get a job as a teacher, and yet you're willing to give up all this?" He gestured around the interior of the condo.
"Luke, there's right and there is wrong. This is wrong. I don't want to live comfortably, surrounded by luxury, the ability to buy anything I want, all the while knowing that it came from other people’s suffering. How can you?"
He paced the room for several moments, and I rephrased the question to him again. "Luke, I am asking you to give it up, these dealings with my father." He turned to me and I looked deeply into his eyes, more serious than I'd ever been in my life. "Can you do that for me?"
I could tell that he was considering what I asked. In fact, I imagined I knew what he was thinking. He would lose a lot of money, as well as business opportunities, if he gave up his dealings with my father and anyone involved in the insider trading ring. "If you give it up, wash your hands of it now, it can only help you in the long run, Luke. So realistically, I'm not really asking you to give anything up to you can't get back through hard work."
He began to pace again, slowly, his thumb pressed against his lips. My heart sank. What did he have to consider? What could he possibly be contemplating? He looked back at me.
"Will you give me time to think about the best course of action?"
I barely stopped the tears from overflowing. I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised. Was Luke a lost cause? I was beginning to think so. How could he choose money over what was right and wrong? How could he choose money over me? I'd had enough. I stood, pointing toward the door.
"Get out, Luke. Get out right now."
He stared at me, eyes wide with surprise. He began to say something, and then changed his mind.
"Now." Without another word, he did exactly that. The minute the door closed softly behind him, I rushed to it, turned the double lock, and then headed toward my bedroom, my vision blurred with my tears. By the time I flopped face down on my bed, my shoulders were heaving with heartbroken sobs.
Chapter 3
I don't know how long I lay on my bed crying my eyes out, feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in quite a deep pit of self-pity. How in heaven's name had I managed to become so inextricably attracted to Luke, even knowing about his less than stellar behavior? Did I somehow think that I could influence him? Change him? Turn him around and make him understand that money wasn't the most important thing in the world? Didn't he realize that I was pretty much giving him a chance to choose his money or me?
I rolled over onto my back, staring up at my spackled ceiling, wondering why God had made men so dense. Didn't he grasp not only the danger he was in, but the long-term ramifications of being caught? Did he think he was above it all? Did he think he would never get caught?
With a groan of annoyance, I sat up. My head hurt. My nose was stuffy and my eyes felt puffy. I padded into the bathroom, stared at myself in the mirror, shook my head in disgust, and then turned on the cold water. I spent several moments splashing cold water on my face, then turned off the water, blew my nose, and straightened my shoulders.
It was time for a talk. Only this time, the talk was going to be with my father. This whole situation was going to get resolved – and soon. I couldn't deal with this much longer. Not with Luke and not with this new knowledge about my father.
I left the bathroom and headed back into the living room, looking for my cell phone. I found it on the side table near the couch. I sat down, picked it up, and stared at it for several moments. I knew the moment that I called my father, I would be demanding answers; answers to questions he might not be willing to answer. What would I do? Could I back up my tough talk to Luke a little while ago? Could I really cut my father out of my life?
I quickly glanced up at the clock on the wall. It wasn't quite nine o'clock, so I knew my parents would still be up. My hand began to tremble, not because I was scared of my father, but because this phone call could have a very serious impact on my life. I had always believed my father was the epitome of trustworthiness, honor, and dignity. If he admitted to dealings in insider trading, which I doubted he would do, would it change my feelings for him? Would it change his feelings for me because I accused him of it?
I had a feeling, deep inside, that this was what my father wanted to avoid when he'd given Luke that ultimatum about not seeing me anymore. Tough shit. I had to think about myself now – my life and my future. Why should the two men I cared most for in my life drag me into the middle of a big scandal? Most of all, I wanted the truth. I wanted to hear the truth from my father's own lips. Way back in the deep recesses of my mind, I wondered if Luke was telling me the truth about my dad.
Would Luke have lied to me about it? If so, why? To save our relationship? To drive a wedge between my father and myself, so that I would take Luke's side? Luke's side. There were no sides. Either Luke was honest or he was dishonest. The same applied to my father. I had no idea what my father had done in his past, and frankly, it was probably none of my business. Still, as an adult now, and as someone involved in this situation, I believed very strongly that I had every right to know the truth. Not only did it have to do with personal issues, but ethical and moral ones, as well.
I wanted to do the right thing, make the right decisions, but life had suddenly grown so complicated. For a second, I regretted the day that I had ever knocked on Luke Benning’s front door. Well, it was too late to close that door. I had willingly stepped through it. I had fallen for Luke, no doubt about it, and I knew I loved my father, but why did I have to be dragged into the middle of this mess? I wanted no part of it!
My heart pounding profusely, I brought up my contact list and called my dad. After several rings, he picked up.
"Hey, honey, how you doing?"
He sounded like his usual self. As if nothing was wrong. As if he didn't know that I knew of the ultimatum he had given Luke. As if I didn't know anything about his background or history or Luke's accusations.
"Not so great at the moment, Dad," I said.
"What's wrong, honey?"
I decided that the best thing to do was just to throw it out there. "It's about Luke, Dad."
He said nothing for several moments. I thought the call had been dropped. I glanced at the phone screen and quickly and realized that no, we were still connected. “Did you hear me, Dad?"
"Yes, honey, I did. I-"
"We need to talk," I said.
"You sound angry, Molly," he commented. "What's going on?"
I made a noise in my throat. "Angry? That doesn't even begin to cover it."
"Tell me what's happening, Molly, and I'll do my best to fix it."
I sighed with impatience. “Dad, you can't fix everything."
"I can try," he said.
I heard the hint of amusement in his voice and it brought tears to my eyes. My dad had always tried to make everything just perfect for me. He had done what he could to make sure that my growing up years were as stress-free as possible. At the time, I appreciated him for it. Now, I wondered if instead of doing me a favor, his spoiling me had been a disfavor.
"I'd like to speak to you in private, not on the phone."
Again he was quiet for several moments. Again I glanced at the phone. "Dad?"
"I have time now, if you do," he said.
"No, I want to talk to you in private." I could almost see a frown forming over his eyes. My dad could be stubborn.
"Why?" he asked.
Was that a hint of wariness in his voice? "Let's just say that I'm trying to look out for your best interests," I replied. I tried to keep my voice level, not display any of the hurt, shock, or knowledge that I thought
I knew about his activities. I wondered if he was suspicious, if he thought I knew anything. As far as he knew, Luke had broken things off with me, and unless he had spies following me around, or Luke, he was none the wiser.
"Okay, honey, if that's what you want," he said. "Umm, I have some time tomorrow morning, around nine o'clock. Will that be good with you?"
"That'll be fine, Dad, thanks. I'll talk to you-"
"Don't you want to talk to your mother?" he broke in, surprised.
When I called home, I always talked with both of them. Tonight, I didn't feel like talking to anybody. I was too raw, too emotional. The moment I heard my mother's voice, I would likely break down crying and then she would want to know what was happening. How could I tell her anything? What could I possibly tell her? She probably had no idea what had been going on since I got the job at Luke's mansion. I wasn't even sure if she knew I was working as a maid. That was my fault, of course, because I had not been calling as frequently since I met Luke. No, I had been sleeping with him, going to the beach with him, going to the fair with him, and thoughts of my parents had been pushed back into the recesses of my mind.
"No, Dad, not tonight. Does she know I'm on the phone?"
"No," he said. "She's in the bedroom, watching television."
"Then, don't tell her I called," I said. "I'm not feeling particularly well and I'm going to bed now."
He sighed. "All right, honey. Feel better, and all see you in the morning."
*
The following morning, I was a bundle of nerves. I had lain in bed for what seemed like hours after speaking to my dad last night, my emotions so erratic that I soon found myself crying again. Why, oh why, did falling in love have to be so painful? And why did I have to fall for a guy who was embroiled in such a mess that it turned my entire life topsy-turvy? At the bottom of all my questions was a concern that I couldn't trust Luke or my dad. What kind of a way was that to think about the two people you cared about most in the world?