by K. A Knight
“Ya fight dirty,” he comments and laughs, spitting blood to the sand and watching me.
“Always.” I nod.
The Berserkers gathered tighten their circle, cheering and shouting at us to get on with it. He rushes me again, both fists moving through the air towards my face. I duck and weave as he pummels at me again and again. I keep my eyes between his fists and his feet, noting he moves them to the side when he is about to hit. I let him tire himself out as I dance and spin, and his fists eventually slow enough for me to duck between them and upper cut his chin before dancing away. He grunts, stumbling back, and I kick out at his side. He grunts again, falling sideways, and the crowd starts to chant my name.
“Worth, Worth, Worth, Worth!”
Laughing, I go on the offensive now, seeing the strain in his eyes and knowing he is winded. I sweep my leg and he stumbles over it, then I grab his swinging braid and smash my fist into his face again and again. I feel my knuckles split, catching on his teeth, but I keep going until I see red covering his face, then I let go and step back. I look at my knuckles and see the damage isn’t that bad, it’s reopened one of the old scars, but other than that it’s not my blood. His nose is smashed and gushing blood, his lip is busted even more, and his eye is going to be sealed shut tomorrow. He wobbles, but stays upright.
“First blood,” he concedes, and then spits blood on the ground again, grinning at me, and showing a missing tooth and blood covering his mouth. He starts to laugh and I do as well as the crowd goes wild, cheering for me.
I look up, panting, and spot Dray, Erik, and Archel standing at the edge of the circle. Archel winks at me and disappears. Dray runs his eyes down my body, the ice seeming to melt so I quickly look away before he jumps me or the other way around. Erik nods at me with respect in his eyes, and I know he is finally realising I’m not the same girl who loved his son. I’m a queen who got revenge for his death. I couldn’t protect my loved ones then, but I can now, and I will stop at nothing to save them. Not ever again.
“Who’s next?” the fighter roars, slamming his fists into his chests. I step up and he looks at me before offering me his braid.
I lean close. “Keep it, warrior, it was close, but don’t let them know I said that or you’re dead,” I joke and step away. Evan pops up and hands over my holsters, which I slip into, but he spots the blood on my knuckles and groans.
“Fucking hell, I’ve started carrying a bag around just for you, do you know that? Why are you always covered in blood?” he grumbles, prodding my split knuckle.
“It’s not always mine.” I shrug.
“It’s not always mine,” he mocks. “Fucking brilliant. Do you have a death wish?” he grumbles, but I let him as he seals the wound and Erik walks up.
“I remember when you could barely swing your own fist,” he comments, his eyes sad.
“I learned fast,” I admit, and he winces and looks away before glancing back at me.
“Not like my boy. I don’t blame you, Worth. I want you to know that.”
I nod, looking away.
“Done,” Evan interrupts and I stride away, heading to my tent. I can’t get close to Erik again, his family has a nasty habit of dying and I can’t deal with that. Pushing aside the green flap, to what looks like an old army tent, I spot a rolled out sleeping bag with a crate and a lamp on the top. Other than that, it’s bare, but it’s better than nothing. I place the maps on the crate and throw my swords on top of them before looking around.
The tent flap moves behind me and I don’t turn, expecting Dray, but it’s Erik’s face I spot when he circles me. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t want you to blame yourself if you were. Guilt is a hard thing to live with and you have enough horrors without that. My boy loved you and you loved him, you gave him happiness. His life might have been short, but he experienced so much, things others can only dream of. He had the loyalty and love of a good woman, and if he were here now, he would be so proud of you. Some things happen for a reason. He died so you could live, and now look at you. You are saving us all from a war. Life is full of choices, he made his, and you have made yours. Now, I’m making mine.”
I turn to face him fully and he smiles at me. “I, Erik Cadmar, offer you my sword for as long as I shall live. My blade is your blood, my blood and life yours to do with as you wish. My shield shall be your shield and my war cry will echo yours. On this, I promise.” He falls to his knees, his sword dug into the ground in front of him, and his bowed head resting against the handle. “Tazanna Worth, Queen of The Berserkers, I ask for you accept my warrior’s oath.”
“Erik,” I snap, but he refuses to look at me. “Why?” is all I can ask. I saw warriors do this to Ivar a long time ago, but not much since he went all bat shit. His life would quite literally be in my hands, a warrior’s oath is binding and forever, to break one would mean death.
“Because it is the right thing to do, because we are family, because I spot a cause worth fighting for when I see it. I always did. Everyone else saw a little slave girl. I saw the woman you could be, and so did Noah.”
Swallowing, I look away, blinking back wetness I won’t let fall. “I accept your oath. Rise,” I order, remembering Ivar’s words from so long ago. Back then, it was amazing when it happened, to have people respect you that much. He had droves offering their swords and it slowly dwindled over the years. To do anything other than accept it would be a punishment, a way of saying I didn’t trust him as a warrior. The flap opens then and Bern, Henry, Archel, Dray, and Evan all peek in.
“Ah, fuck this, I dinnie know she was accepting oaths,” the big man booms, before dropping to his knees, his axe in front of him. Henry mirrors him silently, his blades in front of him.
Archel hesitates and then looks at me. “You always have my blades, but my oaths are for someone else.”
Dray moves past them all, getting to his knees in front of me and I gasp, trying to stop him. “You can’t,” I hiss.
“Can and will. Soulmate, my swords, blood, and life have been yours since the first time I saw you. This just makes it official, I’m no king without my queen, and my life and heart are already yours. Do you accept my oath?”
I nod. “I accept,” I whisper, and he gets to his feet, grinning.
Bern and Henry repeat Erik’s oath, changing it slightly to match them, and I accept again, letting them rise. I look around at the gathered men and pride fills me. I must be doing okay. I must be a good enough person for so many to be willing to fight with me. I might have made it this far building myself back up, but my men helped me on the way, they showed me the path, and right now, I notice their absence most of all. I wish they were here to witness it. Drax would make some joke. Maxen would stare at me intently like he could see my soul. Thorn would smile, the one just for me, and Jax my silent Jax, would bare his soul in front of everyone if that is what I asked.
I have lived a hard life, but they made it worth it, and these men right here just gave me another reason to keep fighting, because now it’s not just me that lives and dies by my choices, but them as well. The weight bows my shoulders, but I know I can survive it. After all, I have survived worse.
After I accepted their oaths, I let them gather around as I open the maps. “Is that…the Cities?” Erik asks, his eyes widening.
“Yes, I saw them the first time I visited Paradise. I don’t know how they got them, but they are the most accurate maps we are going to get, and they will help us plan our battle strategy, and Dray’s and my entrance and exit plans.” I shrug, looking over the map. It’s incredibly detailed, showing the three cities linked together and the wall separating them from the North.
“It seems the middle one is where we need to be. That’s where they have holdings and where they will keep my men. We could sneak in, I’m not sure how high the walls are, but I can see a sewer pipe entrance right here we could get through,” I theorize, but it doesn’t feel right. How are we going to sneak through the Cities, find my men, and get th
em out without being detected? We even dress and look Northern. “They will notice us,” I finally admit.
“So let them,” Archel responds, and I blink up at him. “You are a queen, you’re a fighter, and no offence, but you aren’t a sneaky person—more a knock the front door down and stab person. They will expect a sneak attack. They won’t be expecting you to come through the front door. You’re a queen, act like one.”
A slow grin crawls across my face. “It could work. Go in there and demand my people back, show them who we are. They committed an act of war. We can show that we aren’t just barbarians and we know what that means. We can hint we know what they want from Paradise, let them know not to mess with us. If they kill us, then so be it, because that means war and they will have to come north for you to slaughter them. We offer them a choice, they think we are weak, so let’s show them how strong we are.”
“You’re going into their strong hold, they have the advantage,” Erik reminds me.
“True, but who just walks right into an enemy lair? They are going to think we have backups in place. I will encourage them to think that as well of course. Kill us and they trigger a war, one they can’t win.”
“I don’t like it, it’s too risky,” he grumbles, studying the maps.
“It’s the only way,” I reply, but then a thought hits me. “Chaos, we cause chaos.”
Dray looks at me then. “You have a plan, don’t you?”
I nod. “I’ll tell you when it’s time, but for now I need you to trust me to handle this. The rest of you will be waiting here.” I point to a spot on the map in a stretch of the Wastes just before The Rim. “We will meet you there.”
“I hope it’s a fookin’ good plan.” Erik sighs, but nods. “I trust ya.”
“Good.” I roll up the maps and place them in my bag before standing and stretching. “Now, let’s eat. Hopefully the guards will clear Paradise tonight and we can be on our way tomorrow. I will meet up with the other leaders at The Ring and get them involved before heading to the Cities.”
They nod and stand, all filing out, except for Dray. He steps close and I tilt my head back to look into his eyes. “We go in together, we come out together, or we die together. These are your options,” he tells me.
“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on dying, but I need you to trust me. I’m relying on you for this plan to work. I will explain everything, I promise, but Dray, there is a chance we aren’t getting out. I’m taking that chance for my men, for my family, you don’t have to.”
He growls before grabbing me and pinning me to his chest. “You forget, where you go, I go. We will take that chance together. If anyone can survive, it’s us. The Champion and the killer. We fight together, we die together. There are no other futures for us. Whatever it takes, we face it.”
Sighing, I lean up and kiss him, letting him know how much that means. I will feel better with him at my back. This plan is not great, it has its risks, but I can’t do anything else. Even fighting a lost cause, I would do it for my men, facing the Cities and a threat I might not be able to win. They would do it for me. It’s time I showed them I would do it for them. Dray’s right. Whether we live or die together, at least I will be with them.
“Let’s go eat,” I murmur, pulling away. I twine my hand with his and head out through the tent. The sun is now lower in the sky and fires are already started, with Berserkers gathered around and cooking meat. I grin and head for the table where Evan and Archel are arm wrestling. I haven’t asked them if they sorted their shit out, since they are adults, but they must have come to some sort of peace, even if they are still rubbing against each other, testing each other. I can’t wait to meet the woman who has to put up with Evan’s moods and Archel’s crazy though. She must be a fucking better woman than most.
I sit next to Evan with Dray taking the seat next to me, and Bern and Henry join us. I spot Erik with his rebels, speaking in low tones, obviously telling them the plan, but I ignore them. It’s a problem for tomorrow. “I bet a dagger on Evan,” I remark.
Archel throws me a glare and Evan grins. “I’ll take that,” Henry offers.
“Don’t fucking lose now, Doc,” I demand, watching them both.
I never noticed all of Evan’s muscles before, but he’s quite strong, and within a minute he smacks Archel’s hand to the table, making me grin and offer my hand to Henry who groans and hands over a dagger. “What the fuck? Aren’t you some kind of assassin? You let a doc beat you!”
I throw the dagger in the air, grinning. “Nice blade. Here.” I pass it to Evan. “Keep it, you earned it.” Then I turn to the assassin. “Evan’s going to steal your girl,” I tease Archel who narrows his eyes on me.
“Me and you, let’s go unless you’re scared of being shown up in front of your warriors?” he taunts.
“Move over Evan, I’m about to make this assassin my bitch.” Evan laughs and slides over, so I scoot until I face Archel. “Let’s make it fair. Ever played Russian Roulette?” I nearly suggest the knife game from The Rim, but honestly, I’m running out of room for scars and I might need my arm to fight with.
“You’re on. First to give up?” he asks.
“Yes, Bern, find me a gun and load it with only one bullet,” I order.
Evan groans. “Fuck, I’m going to be patching people up again, aren’t I?”
“Better get used to it, Doc,” I reply, winking at him before staring down Archel. “I’ll let your girl know you died trying to be a hero, I’m sure Evan will help her through her grief.”
He narrows his eyes, looking like he wants to kill me. “I’ll be sure to let Dray get a hit in once you’re dead, make him feel better.”
“She dies, you die,” Dray warns, but he doesn’t seem bothered, instead relaxing into his chair, trusting me to win this.
“Why does everything have to be to the death?” Evan grumbles again, making us all laugh.
“Aww, Doc, don’t ruin our fun,” I tease, just as Bern comes up and places a gun on the table between Archel and me. “Ladies first,” I gibe, gesturing at him.
Archel picks up the gun without hesitation, places it to his forehead, and pulls the trigger. He grins at me and offers me the gun. I grab it and like him, don’t hesitate to hold it to my head and pull the trigger. It’s an old style gun, one Berserkers only use for this game, and I know the chamber holds six bullets. Four more chances.
I hold it out to him and he licks his lips before taking it and pulling the trigger, he lets out a sigh as I grin.
Three more chances, one with a bullet.
My heart is racing, my thoughts whirling, but I won’t stand down now. Pressing the cool metal to the middle of my head, I meet his eyes and pull the trigger. My heart skips and my eyes want to close, but nothing happens except an empty click, so I blow out a low breath and pass it over.
Two chances. One of us will get the bullet.
“Scared, assassin?” I taunt. “I’ve faced worse odds, have you?”
“Every day,” he confesses and pulls the trigger. I see his eyes wince, but nothing happens so he grins. “Your turn, queen, do you pull or give up?”
“I never give up.” I grab the gun.
“Then you die. It’s not about winning every fight, it’s about always getting back up,” Archel counters, leaning back, knowing he has me.
“And sometimes, it’s about being the smartest in the room,” I reply, aiming the weapon at my forehead, and just as I squeeze the trigger, I point the gun away and the bullet connects with the wall. “We only had to pull the trigger, we didn’t specify it had to be aimed at us.”
He bursts into laughter and I join in. Bern slaps the table as everyone else adds their mirth. Dray kisses my shoulder before whispering in my ear, “I fucking love you.”
I grin wider and then feel guilty for it. I shouldn’t be having a good time when God knows what is happening to my men. My smile fades, but they don’t notice, thank God. “I’ll grab some food,” I say and stand up, stretching ou
t my back.
Sands below, let them be okay.
I head to the biggest fire where they are roasting meat, some cooling to the side. When they spot me coming, they quickly grab a lot and add it to a tray they must have brought with them. “Thank you,” I tell them before turning away and bringing it back to the table. I spot water and what looks like moonshine already on the table when I get back, and plonk the meat in the middle. Bern grabs some, immediately ripping into it. Henry is a more delicate eater, and Archel just nibbles. Evan grimaces, but eats a bit anyway. Dray rips into it like an animal, his other hand landing on my thigh under the table.
I eat and listen to their banter, but my mind is on my men again, wondering what they are going through right now. We are under the same sky with miles between us, yet I can still feel the connection there. I miss them.
An explosion rocks under my feet and I grab the table to steady myself. When the shifting stops, I hop up and I see everyone else doing the same, staring towards the bunker. I’m guessing they set off another explosive or it was triggered manually. We haven’t heard one in a while. When nothing else happens, I slowly sit down, knowing there is nothing I can do. They have sealed the doors, this is their fight.
The silence eventually lessens as people start talking again, but everyone is on high alert, throwing glances at the wall, wondering what is happening down there. Something is bugging me about the bomb…they aren’t really Berserker style. I’m not saying we haven’t used them in the past and some warriors know how to handle them, but they aren’t our preferred method. Too impersonal. Did Berserkers really set the bombs? We saw no proof, just had the word of the captain. Biting my lower lip, I stand again, needing some answers only my father can provide.
“Stay here,” I tell them, before striding away to the dweller section of the camp.
The dwellers duck out of my way as I pass. I snort when I spot five of them trying to start a fire, they really are helpless up here. I find my father talking to a group of people in hushed whispers. He doesn’t stop as I approach and I catch the tail ends of, “Trust them,” and “It will be okay,” so I guess it’s reassurance. The people nod and wander away, leaving me with my father. I don’t have time to mess around, I need to figure out why it’s bugging me.