Maybe moving to another town isn’t the best choice. I might not be happy living someplace else, and Len wouldn’t be, either. It wasn’t fair to ask him to leave his family’s business, especially since it’s growing and doing so well. What would I do, though, if we stayed in Dover? I’m not sure his mother will ever accept me as part of their family.
Tears welled in Charlene’s eyes and dribbled down her cheeks. She either had to make a clean break with Len or improve her relationship with Annette. She reflected on the verse printed on the back of the apple cream pie recipe card Heidi gave her and the other students. Ephesians 4:32: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
I need to be kind to Len’s mother, and forgive her for the put-downs she’s aimed at me. Lord, thank You for Your forgiveness. Please help me show love to Annette.
Walnut Creek
Eli had no more than finished filling the bird feeders than a horse and buggy pulled into his yard. Surprised to see his mother, he stepped up to the hitching rail and secured her horse.
“Wie geht’s?” Mom asked when she climbed down from the buggy.
“I’m doin’ fine.” Eli gave her a hug. “Wasn’t expecting you to come by today. Are you here for any particular reason?”
She gave his arm a playful pinch. “Can’t a mamm drop by to see her sohn for no particular reason other than to say hello?”
He grinned. “Course you can, and this son of yours is happy you dropped by. Feel free to do so anytime you like.”
“Actually, I do have a reason for coming here.” She reached into her buggy and took out a plastic container. “I baked peanut butter kichlin this morning. Thought you might like some.”
“Might?” Eli thumped his stomach. “Of course I would. But if you keep bringing me desserts all the time, I’m gonna get fat.” He took the offered cookies.
She shook her head. “As hard as you work in your shop and around the place here, I doubt you’ll ever struggle with your weight.”
“You’re probably right. I never gained weight when Mavis was alive. She was an excellent cook.”
Mom hugged him. “You still miss her, don’t you?”
“Jah, but it’s gotten easier since I met Loretta and her kinner. They’re a lot of fun to be with.”
Her brows furrowed. “Have you taken a personal interest in Loretta?”
“Well, I …”
“If you have, you need to nip it in the bud.”
“What are you talking about, Mom? We’re only friends.”
“She’s not one of us, Eli.”
Eli clenched his teeth. He wasn’t prepared to deal with this right now. Moving toward the picnic table, he took a seat on the bench and motioned for his mother to do the same. “You have nothing to worry about. Loretta’s a nice person and, like me, she’s lonely. I’ve enjoyed getting acquainted with her and also the children. Spending time with them has given me something to look forward to. In fact, I haven’t felt this lighthearted since Mavis died.”
Mom touched his arm. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you can relate to, and it sounds like you’ve made a good friend, but you need to be cautious. While you may not have serious feelings for Loretta, what if she has them for you?” Her brows lowered. “She could try to talk you into leaving our way of life and turning to the English world.”
Eli shook his head vigorously. “I would never choose the English way of life, and I’m sure Loretta wouldn’t expect me to, either.”
Mom’s face relaxed a bit as she squeezed his arm tenderly. “I’m thankful your daed and I raised a schmaert sohn.”
Eli wasn’t sure he was all that smart. Truthfully, he hadn’t admitted to himself until now, but if Loretta were Amish, he could easily be interested in her beyond friendship.
Carefully, Heidi climbed the ladder to the hayloft. One of the barn cats had given birth to a batch of kittens yesterday, and Heidi wanted to check on them.
Following the sound of pathetic mews, she located the black-and-white kittens and their mother, whom Heidi had named Mittens.
Heidi made herself comfortable on a bale of hay and sat quietly, observing the kittens as they nursed. As adorable as they were to watch, a deep sadness came over her. She cupped her mouth, hoping to stifle the urge to cry. Mittens can have bopplin. Why can’t I? It isn’t fair that I’ll never experience motherhood firsthand.
Giving in to self-pity, Heidi’s guard was broken, and the tears flowed. If only Lyle would agree to adopt. Why is he being so stubborn? She had asked herself the same question so many times. When she’d convinced herself she could be happy without a baby and feel comfortable living a childless life, something always happened, causing Heidi to focus on her need to be a mother. The other day, hearing Regina was expecting another baby had reopened Heidi’s emotional wounds. Avoiding the painful subject seemed to be the best way to deal with it, although the desire to raise a child was never far from her thoughts.
Heidi’s contemplations halted when she heard the barn door creak open and click shut. Wiping her nose with the tissue she clutched, and drying the tears on her cheeks, Heidi crawled to the edge to go back down the ladder. Thinking Lyle was home from his errands, she was about to call out to him when she heard a muffled voice. Heidi remained quiet and still, and when she looked down, she was surprised to see it was Ron who’d entered the barn. Was he talking to Bobbins?
Heidi had no trouble recognizing the soft nickers of her husband’s buggy horse. In all the times she’d had conversations with the animal, Bobbins always nickered at the right time, as though she understood everything being said. By now the horse was no doubt used to Ron, since he’d often mucked out her stall.
Heidi continued to listen but only caught bits and pieces of what Ron was saying. Being careful not to make any noise, she scooched on her stomach to the far side of the hayloft. When Heidi looked down, she saw Ron stroking Bobbins’s neck.
He’d left their place over Memorial Day weekend and returned late last night, but this was the first time she’d seen Ron since he’d come back. Seeing his motor home parked in the usual spot this morning, Heidi had known he was there. Quite often Ron came up to the house in the mornings to have coffee with Lyle and ask what chores he wanted done. This morning, however, Ron remained in his motor home. Heidi assumed he was tired after the drive back from Columbus and had slept in. But why was he here in the barn now, talking to Bobbins?
What Heidi heard next made the tears flow again, only this time, it wasn’t for herself. The heart-wrenching sight below caused Heidi to cover her mouth.
Standing beside the stall, Ron continued to rub the horse’s neck, and as if she understood, Bobbins lowered her head. With his forehead pressed against the mare’s head, Ron spoke again. “Oh, Bobbins, right now you’re my only true friend.”
The horse nickered in response, and Ron started to cry. His shoulders shook as the sobs grew louder and more intense.
Barely breathing, lest she be heard, Heidi kept listening as Ron poured out his grief.
“Dear God, please help me deal with this agony. I miss my brother so much. Seeing that wall again made me realize how much I’ve messed up in every area of my life.” Ron’s voice cracked. “Wish it had been me You took, instead of Mike. My brother was a good person and deserved to live. I don’t deserve anything except trouble, because I’ve done nothing but hurt everyone in my life.”
Heidi’s heart went out to this poor soul. She wished she could offer Ron comfort, if only a listening ear. But he hadn’t opened up and shared his pain with her—only a bit to Lyle. She certainly would not let him know she was eavesdropping on his conversation with Lyle’s horse.
Sniffing, Ron shuffled over to a bale of hay and sat down, hands cradling his head.
Heidi remained motionless until, several minutes later, he left the barn. Ron truly was a troubled man. Did he for some reason blame himself for his brother’s death? Or maybe it
was God he was angry with. If only Ron would talk freely about his situation, perhaps she or Lyle could help. She wondered if Ron had read any of the scriptures she’d put on the back of the recipe cards. If he had, she hoped he might find comfort or direction through God’s Word.
Closing her eyes, Heidi lifted a prayer on Ron’s behalf. Then, brushing pieces of hay from her dress, she slowly descended the ladder.
Canton
Kendra’s hands grew moist as she drove up the driveway to her parents’ home. She’d worked the early-afternoon shift at the restaurant and borrowed Dorie’s car this evening. Coming here wasn’t easy, but Kendra felt compelled to speak to her mother. She had chosen this particular evening because she was almost certain Dad would be at church for the monthly board meeting. When Kendra saw Heidi again, she was prepared to ask if she and Lyle would consider adopting her baby. But if there was the slightest chance …
She turned off the engine and leaned her forehead against the steering wheel. If Mom agrees to let me move back home, maybe Dad could be persuaded.
Kendra stepped out of the car and hurried up the porch steps, glancing around to see if the neighbors were watching. I wonder if they’ve heard I was kicked out of my parents’ house. Is the word out around the neighborhood that Bridget and Gary Perkins’ oldest daughter got pregnant?
She drew a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Several seconds later, the door opened and her sister Shelly appeared. She blinked rapidly. “I’m surprised to see you here, Kendra. Did you tell Mom and Dad you were coming?”
Kendra shook her head. “Dad’s not here, I hope.”
“No, he’s at church for the board meeting.”
“That’s good, ’cause I need to talk to Mom.” Kendra stepped quickly into the house. “It’s important.”
Shelly clutched the book in her hand as though holding it as a shield. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. I’d be in trouble if Dad knew I’d talked to you, much less let you into the house.”
“He won’t know who let me in unless you tell him.” Kendra glanced around. “Where’s Mom?”
“She’s in the kitchen with Chris, putting the clean supper dishes away.”
“Okay, thanks.” Kendra moved speedily in that direction, glancing over her shoulder as Shelly retreated to the living room.
When she entered the kitchen, she cleared her throat a couple of times. Mom turned around, and seeing Kendra, let out a gasp. The dish she held slipped out of her hand and fell on the floor. Luckily, it didn’t break. “Kendra! What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you. There’s something I need to say. Can I speak to you privately for a few minutes?”
Mom pursed her lips. “Your dad would not approve of you being here, Kendra.”
“I’m well aware, but what I have to say is important.”
Mom gave a huff then bent down to pick up the plate. She turned to Chris. “Would you please leave us alone?”
Glancing briefly at Kendra with a placid expression, Chris left the room.
Mom placed the plate in the sink then pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, gesturing for Kendra to do the same. “What do you need to talk to me about?”
“The baby.” Kendra sat down and placed both hands on her stomach. “My baby.”
Mom stared at her blankly, making little circles on the tablecloth with her finger.
Kendra rubbed her damp hands down the side of her jeans. There was no way to say this, except to blurt it right out. “I’m putting my baby up for adoption, unless …”
“That’s a wise decision. Under the circumstances, I’m sure you’re not able to properly care for a child on your own.”
“No, I can’t, but I hoped maybe …”
“What are you hoping for, Kendra? Did you think we would offer to help raise the child?” Mom spoke in a monotone voice.
Does she have no feelings at all? Kendra curled her fingers into the palms of her hands until her nails bit into the skin. Dad sure did a number on her. Mom and I used to be close. It’s as though she can’t think for herself. Doesn’t she care how much I’m hurting?
Kendra decided to try a new approach. “Don’t you want to be a part of your grandchild’s life?”
“I would if it were under different circumstances.” Mom blew out a quick breath. “I’m sorry you got yourself into such a predicament, but I will not go against your father’s wishes, so there’s really nothing I can do.” Mom’s hands flailed in front of her. “Your child will be better off with adoptive parents.”
Kendra’s mouth twisted as the muscles in her shoulders and neck tightened. At that moment, it hit her how truly alone she was in this. She had no other choice. Kendra could not be the mother of the baby she so desperately wanted to keep.
Leaping out of her chair, she turned and fled from the house without bothering to say goodbye to Mom or her sisters. Unless they came crawling to her, begging for forgiveness, she would never return to this place or make contact with anyone in her family again.
Chapter 33
Dover
Charlene had gotten up later than planned this morning and rushed around to get ready to leave for Heidi’s fifth cooking class. She looked forward to going, because it would give her something meaningful and hopefully fun to do. Other teachers might be enjoying their time off from school, but Charlene had quickly become bored.
I wonder if Heidi will have another class after ours is finished in two weeks. If she does, maybe I should take it. At least learning to cook new things might help take my mind off the situation with Len. He still hadn’t called her, and as the week had dragged on, Charlene had debated calling him.
She didn’t know why it was so hard to make the first move, but since Len hadn’t, Charlene had convinced herself that he no longer loved her.
If I don’t hear from him by this evening, I’ll make the call. She grabbed her purse, apron, and keys then headed for the door. Charlene’s footsteps halted when her cell phone rang. She paused to check the caller ID, hoping it might be Len, but the number on the screen was not familiar. Normally, she would have ignored such a call, but her curiosity was piqued, so she answered. “Hello.”
“Is this Charlene Higgins?”
Charlene didn’t recognize the woman’s voice. “Umm, yes, it is.”
“I’m calling about the picture you submitted several weeks ago for a contest in the magazine I represent. I want to congratulate you. The photo you took of the mare and her foal won first place.”
Stunned, Charlene could barely form a response. “Oh my. I never expected … I’m so surprised.” She moved back to the kitchen and sank into a chair.
“Yes, and unless you already have one, we’ll be sending you a copy of this month’s issue, showing the picture you submitted on the cover.”
“No, I don’t have the magazine.” Charlene hesitated but explained anyway. “I normally look at your magazine when I’m at the store, but I haven’t purchased a copy in a while.”
“I’m glad I had the opportunity to surprise you with this news. You’ll also receive a two-year subscription to our magazine.”
“Thank you.” Charlene could hardly believe her good fortune. “It means so much that you thought the photograph I entered was good enough for the cover.”
“It certainly is, and we thank you for entering. Now, don’t forget, we have a contest every year, so keep your camera clicking.”
After Charlene exchanged a bit more information with the woman, the phone call ended. She sat in stunned silence. This exciting news added a bright spot to her day. She couldn’t wait to share it with someone.
Walnut Creek
When Kendra pulled into the Troyers’ yard, she spotted Ron sitting on a camp stool outside his motor home. She’d come early, hoping to talk to Heidi before the others arrived. Since no other cars were here, unless Ron decided to come inside right away, it looked like she’d get the chance.
Kendra got out of the car, hurried up the steps, and k
nocked on the door. A few seconds later, Heidi greeted her.
“Hope it’s okay I came early.” Kendra smiled while Heidi held the door open for her.
“No one else is here yet, and I’m still setting things out in the kitchen, but you’re welcome to visit while I finish up.”
“Okay, thanks.” Kendra entered the house and followed Heidi to the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You can get out the sour cream, bacon, and onions.” Heidi gestured to the refrigerator.
“Sure, no problem. What are we making this time?”
“German potato salad.” Heidi pointed to the potatoes on the counter. “It’s served warm instead of the traditional cold potato salad.”
“Sounds good.” Kendra went to the refrigerator and took out the ingredients; then she placed them on the table. “I’ve made a decision about my baby.” She moved closer to where Heidi stood at the sink, washing the potatoes.
Heidi turned to look at her. “Oh?”
“My folks want nothing to do with me or the baby, and I’m not in a position to take care of a child by myself.” Kendra paused to rub her forehead before she continued. “I’ve thought about it long and hard and will be putting the child up for adoption.” She made direct eye contact with Heidi. “So I was wondering—well, hoping might be a better word. Would you and your husband be interested in adopting my baby?”
Heidi gasped and dropped the potato in the sink before bringing both hands up to her chest. “You … you want us to raise your baby?”
“Yeah, that’s right. After getting to know you these last several weeks, I believe you would be a good mother, and—”
Heidi lifted her hand. “Wait a minute, Kendra. I don’t think you fully understand what that would mean. If Lyle and I agreed to such an arrangement, your child would be raised Amish. When he or she got older, they might join the Amish church, as so many of our young people do.”
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