Divine Desire
A Lotus House Novel: Book Three
Audrey Carlan
Contents
Divine Desire
Note to the Reader
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
The End
Excerpt from Body - The Trinity Trilogy (Book 1)
Also by Audrey Carlan
Acknowledgments
About Audrey Carlan
Divine Desire
Divine Desire
Lotus House: Book 3
This book is an original publication of Audrey Carlan.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites or their content.
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Copyright © 2016 Waterhouse Press, LLC
Cover Design by Waterhouse Press, LLC
Cover Photos: Shutterstock
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All Rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic format without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
Dedication
* * *
To my sister Michele Moulyn.
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If there is anyone in this world
who knows the value of striving to achieve,
determination, and sacrificing
for those you love…it’s you.
You’ve set an amazing example
of what it means to work hard.
* * *
With gratitude and love, this one is for you.
Note to the Reader
Everything in the Lotus House series has been gleaned from years of personal practice and the study of yoga. The yoga positions and chakra teachings were part of my official schooling with The Art of Yoga through Village Yoga Center in Northern California. Every chakra fact and position description has been personally written by me and comes from my perspective as a Registered Yoga Teacher following the guidelines set forth by the National Yoga Alliance and the Art of Yoga. The Tantric references are my personal understanding of the teachings through hours of research.
If you want to attempt any of the positions within this book or as detailed in any of the Lotus House novels, please consult a Registered Yoga Teacher.
I suggest everyone take a yoga class. Through my yoga schooling and teaching the gift of yoga to my students, I have learned that yoga is for everybody and every body. Be kind to yours, for you only get one in this lifetime.
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Love and light,
* * *
Audrey
Chapter One
The official Sanskrit name for the third chakra, or the solar plexus chakra, is called Manipura. It is located in the area of the abdomen and digestive system. Strengthening our body’s energy balance, the third chakra centers our vitality and health.
MILA
“Mila, my God, it’s incredible!” Moe gasped and hovered one delicate hand over her full lips. “Lily will love it. Thank you for doing this.”
I rolled my eyes. “Moe, stop thanking me. You’re my best friend, and Lily is my niece by proxy. Of course Auntie Mimi is going to paint a beautiful mural on her wall. Who better?” I cocked a brow to let her know I meant business.
Moe, short for “Monet,” was Chinese American and insanely beautiful. The woman was a dead ringer for Lucy Liu. She had long, black hair that cascaded down her back and trailed against the top edge of her white capri pants near her ass. She sat cross-legged on the floor and inspected my work.
A few more leaves in the far right corner and some additional work on the bridge, and my three-year-old quasi niece would have a secret garden fantasy mural covering an entire wall in her bedroom. Since Moe’s nasty divorce, I’d spent more time over here than I should have, but when my best friend needed me, I made time. Besides, I knew she’d do anything for me. I’d spent years perfecting the skills to do just about anything I needed on my own. Working at Village Yoga Center as their core female Vinyasa Flow teacher paid well as long as I continued to teach ten plus classes a week. Of course, now that they’d hired that new male teacher, one who was “supposed to bring a fresh perspective” and a unique new class to the schedule, I had a bit more to ponder.
Should I start teaching at other places?
Branch out and open my own little studio?
Would that go against the goals I have set for my art?
I sighed and looked at the garden-inspired mural I’d painted on Lily’s wall. I knew I was a solid artist. Better than most even, but talent wasn’t what I lacked. It was time. Even my weekends were busy teaching the brunch painting class I’d coined “Monet & Mimosas” after my best friend. She thought that was clever. The side job definitely brought in the extra money I needed for art supplies and to keep the lights on in my studio apartment.
“What did La Luz Gallery in Oakland say about a showing?” Moe asked, her gaze still focused on the mural.
I took a slow breath and picked at the threads in the carpet. “They like my work. A lot actually.”
She flung her hair over one shoulder and stared at me. I hated when her black eyes sparked with laser accuracy, as if she knew what I was going to say before I said it. Moe had always been intuitive. More so when it came to me.
I clucked my tongue and patted the wooden end of the paintbrush against my lips. The scent of paint was sharp enough to tingle the sensitive tissues in my nose. I sneezed into the back of my hand. “You know what they said, Moe. We’ve had this conversation before.”
Her eyelids relaxed, covering her pupils while she glanced down and away. The gesture was enough to make me smash my lips together and consider all the reasons to avoid any more of this conversation.
“Mila. You have to set aside time to work on your art.”
I groaned and flopped back onto the plush carpet. “They said I didn’t have enough pieces to show. I need at least twenty-five, unless I wanted to show with another three artists. Ten a piece.”
She pursed her lips. “Well, that’s an option. I mean, in order to make some money, you need to sell some pieces. But I also know that’s not your dream.”
The weight of my “dream” felt like an anvil on my chest, crushing my sternum and pressing my rib cage into my heart. If I focused hard enough, I could imagine the subtle cracking of each bone as my dream destroyed me from the outside in.
“No, it’s not. Then again, who says you have to have it all at once. Maybe dreams are meant to be something that you achieve bit by bit. Like climbing up a ladder. You can’t just jump to the top. It takes effort and hard work. Right?”
Moe slouched before leaning one arm back and sliding to her side on the floor next to me. She rested her temple on her hand. “How long have we known each other, Mila?”
&nbs
p; I rolled my eyes. “Uh, since high school. I was a freshman, you were a senior.”
“So close to a decade then,” she summarized.
I smiled. Moe the therapist was always so precise. I had a feeling she was going to start psychoanalyzing me the way she did her clients. Being best friends with a woman who could analyze every facet of your brain was not always ideal. Usually she kept her head shrinking to a minimum. I wasn’t sure that today would be one of those days. “Moe…” I warned.
She waved her hand in front of her face. “No, no. Just hear me out.”
“Okay, shoot, Dr. Holland. Bust out your psychobabble. Go ahead. Do your worst.” I canted my head to the side.
Moe smirked. Oh man, was I in for a doozie.
“Seems to me that you’ve found any way possible to stay busy. All of which is doing things not related to creating additional paintings.”
“Seriously?” I scoffed. “That’s what you’re going with? Moe, you know I have to work. I have a mouth to feed. Mine! And bills. Let’s not forget about those pesky things that come on set days every month.”
She sighed long and low. “You drive me crazy. I’ve invited you to move in here plenty of times. Since Kyle left…” Moe grimaced and swallowed before continuing. “Well, it’s just me and Lily. You know she’d love having her Auntie Mimi around more often. And the three-car garage could work great for a painting space.”
I grumbled low under my breath, “Moe, I’m not your charity case.”
She sat up like a snake had sneaked under her and bitten her on the ass. “Don’t you dare call yourself my charity case! You just spent three weekends in a row on your one day off painting Lily’s room. I’m just asking to repay the favor.”
I snorted through my laughter that time. “Yeah, right. A mural does not constitute a place to live, Moe. Maybe dinner and a movie but not a rent-free ride!”
Her lips compressed into a flat white line. Oh man, I’d pissed her off, which was not an uncommon occurrence. I had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way. Moe, though, would handle it with her usual respect and grace. Kindness like hers was innate, a personality trait that couldn’t be taught. She was good right down to her core. That’s probably why I loved her so much. She was everything I wasn’t. Gave me something to work toward. Not that I didn’t have enough on my plate.
“Be that as it may, I’d love to have you live here. The house is big enough for a family of six. You know that Kyle and I had planned on having a big family, but then, well, the rest is history.”
“Yeah, it is. That reminds me. Where’s that ax? Out back? I just remembered some chopping I have to do.”
Moe caught me at the wrist. “I know you hate him. I do too, but violence is never the answer.”
“Really? I’d feel better with some violence right about now.” I gave her one of my big-cheeked smiles.
Moe laughed. “Just think about moving in with us, will you? I’ll even let you pay rent. Say two hundred dollars.”
I shook my head. “Room and board, plus utilities and a workshop is worth way more than two hundred.”
Her eyes narrowed into an expression of aggravation and frustration. She hated being tested and absolutely despised discussions of money. When her husband screwed her over in a way that could never ever be forgiven, he’d had the gall to go to the judge for spousal support. Bad idea all the way around. Moe had more friends in the county courthouse than strangers.
She not only had a very successful private practice as a psychologist and therapist, but also served as a court mediator. Every judge and most attorneys loved her and would never have allowed her to get taken for a ride by her scumbag ex. Aside from her own success, Moe was the sole heir to the Holland family fortune. As the only biological blood relation in the Holland family line, she’d gotten everything her grandparents had in their import and export business. To the tune of millions. Though most people in our lives would never have a clue she was worth that much. She didn’t flaunt her money.
“You know money isn’t an issue for me.” Her tone was flat and agitated.
“I know, but what you need to understand is that it is…to me. Thank you, though.” I stood up and prepped my tools for cleaning, wanting to drop the subject.
“Just promise me you’ll think about it. I’d much rather you were here with us, keeping us company, not working your fingers to the bone. You need those fingers for your art.”
“Moe, I love yoga; it’s not too much.”
She cocked her head to the side. “No, but ten classes a week, plus teaching painting to drunk lushes every weekend, along with trying to paint your own projects is. If you lived here, you wouldn’t have to use your weekends for work but for art. Think about it. You know I’m not going to give up on this until you swear you will.”
I walked over and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She smelled of fresh jasmine right off the vine. I think it was her lotion, but in all the years we’d been friends, I’d never asked. I’d always just enjoyed the familiarity of her scent.
“I promise. And take a video of Lily seeing her room for the first time, will you? I want that texted to me.”
She grinned. “For sure. She’s going to just die when she sees it. She’s been obsessed with the book The Secret Garden and how the kids escape into a private world. I love that her little mind worked out that it was special. You doing this for her…” Moe sniffed, and her eyes turned glassy.
Oh no. She was going to cry. “No tears! Gah! No, don’t even. If you cry, I’ll cry.” I shook my head and threaded my hands through my shoulder-length hair. “Just don’t.”
Moe sniffed and wiped her nose on a handkerchief she’d pulled out of her back pocket. Did all moms carry those things? Weird.
“I know, I know. After the divorce, though, and the fact that he doesn’t want anything to do with Lily because she’s not technically his biological child…I just…” A tear slipped down her cheek. I lifted my hand and wiped it away with my thumb.
“He’s a real piece of work, Moe, and his karma is going to get him in the end. You know that. Her too.” I didn’t have to even say the name. We were both all too aware of who she was.
Moe nodded, wiped her eyes and nose once more with her handkerchief, and then shoved it in her back pocket. “Okay. So go on, get ready for class, I’m going to finish the room before I pick up Lily from playgroup. Wish me luck!”
I hauled my bag over my shoulder. “Luck is not necessary. Lily loves her mommy, and she’s going to love the room. Dinner soon?” I said while heading to the front door.
“ ’Course. To the moon and back?” she said.
“To the moon and back.”
ATLAS
“You want to teach what?” Jewel asked, her facial features leaving nothing to the imagination.
“Tell us again how you think this would work, without us getting sued for sexual harassment or public indecency,” Crystal, co-owner of the center and the more level headed of the two, stated calmly.
I paced back and forth along the length of the small administrative office of my new employer, Village Yoga Center. “I know it’s a very radical and new concept that at first is hard to get your head around.”
Crystal laughed. Jewel scoffed.
“Okay, clients would have to sign a waiver that would release the center from liability for sexual comments, lewd behavior, et cetera. I’d handle each waiver personally prior to them entering the class.”
Jewel frowned. “I’m just not sure this is the way we want to go. I mean it’s definitely out there, even for the yoga community, and we’re probably the most open-minded if you compare physical and spiritual fitness centers against one another.”
I pointed at Jewel. “I couldn’t agree with you more. This class strips the client bare of any of their misgivings, allowing them to truly go inward in a way that is freeing and liberating, not only spiritually, but physically as well.”
Crystal chuckled. “I’ll say. And y
ou’ve seen this type of class work before? In New York?”
I nodded and leaned against the bookcase that held yoga DVDs and meditation CDs for patrons to purchase. “I studied under a guru last summer. At first, the clientele is awkward about it, but the ones who make it through the first class are sold. The experience is beyond unique. Shedding all the layers that weigh you down is like finding your own personal salvation.”
Jewel pursed her lips. “I don’t know, Atlas. What do you think, Crystal? Is Lotus House ready for something this hip?”
Crystal took a deep breath. “What if we tried the class for a short time? Like a four-week plan. If people see it on the schedule, sign up, and love the new style, then we expand, adding more time slots. Fair?”
I wanted to jump over the desk and kiss her dead on the mouth. If she didn’t have the all-of-her-staff-are-her-children-type nature, I would have.
“Eight weeks. I’d need at least eight weeks to get the class off the ground. Dash told me that his Tantric yoga workshops took months to catch on, and those are now sold out with a waiting list. I know this is just one class a week, but I need to build up the hype, get people interested. I was thinking of putting a flyer together that we could keep at the front desk. I could design the promo myself.”
Jewel and Crystal sat silently, staring at me. They were polar opposites in coloring and features. Crystal looked like a modern-day angel with her long, golden hair, clear blue eyes, and one of the softest smiles I’d ever seen. Jewel had more waiflike features, with blazing red curly hair and skin as pale as a freshwater pearl. Her eye color was harder to determine through her ever-present black-rimmed glasses.
While waiting for them to speak, I swear I could hear the faint sounds of the yoga class down the hall. Heck, I could hear my own inhalations and exhalations as if they were blaring through a megaphone.
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