Gage. His lips in half a smile. His eyes nearly golden and full of warmth.
On my campus.
Gage. His hair messy across his brow. His hands in his pockets.
Leaning against the brick wall of the Student Development building.
Gage. Standing so casually in front of me.
"What are you…?" I can't even finish the question.
"Your roommate told me you might be here."
"Quinn?" I ask, stupidly. God, brain, catch up already. I hate how much space there is between us. I want to reach forward, to touch him. To throw myself at him. "Why, I mean. Why are you here?"
More déjà vu. So strong I feel like I'm losing my balance.
"I can't seem to stop following you to North Carolina."
"That's not an answer."
"Yes, it is."
Oh, God. "Is this real?"
He pushes off the wall and grabs my hand, sliding his palm to face mine, weaving our fingers together. "Does this feel real?"
I shake my head. It doesn't. My heart feels too light, too fluttery. It beats too fast for this to be real.
He steps closer to cup my face with his other hand. His face is an inch away from mine. "What about this?"
"No."
His gaze holds mine for a second, a moment, a year. And then he closes the distance between our mouths to kiss me. Soft. Unhurried. His lips are gentle against mine, but when he breaks away a second later, I'm breathing heavily. The corner of his mouth quirks. "This?"
"It feels like a dream." I'm dizzy with love. But… "You told me no, Gage. It seemed so final."
"The second you were out the door, I realized I made the wrong decision."
"But…it's been a week." This is happening. I can't believe this is happening. Gage is here. He's holding my hand. He kissed me. How is this reality? I've spent the last seven days trying to convince myself that this could never happen, that I needed to let go. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I needed time to think, to make sure I wasn't just caught up in the moment—in your popsicle sticks." He half laughs. "I didn't want to rush into telling you I changed my mind, until I was certain I could give this a fair chance. Until I was certain I wouldn't spend every day resenting the things I've been so angry about. It wouldn't be fair to you. To either of us."
"And?"
He rests his forehead against the curve of my neck for a second before speaking. "You rocked me this summer. I couldn't catch my balance and I was so angry with you. And then so scared about Katy. When I thought she was… When I thought she…" Even now he can't bring himself to say it. "Even knowing she was okay didn't make things better. Not at first. I finally understand what you kept trying to tell me. You didn't want to feel those things about Jason. You needed an escape. But tell me, Cassidy, why did you run from me?"
"I thought… " I try to find the right words. "I thought if we crossed into something solid, something real, I had to let the rest of reality in, too. And I didn't want to. And then there was Zoey—before I knew what she did to Katy—and I thought maybe you deserved more than what I could offer, more than me. I—"
"Deserved more than you? Do you see yourself at all?"
"Yes, of course I do. I'm a girl who's been a bit broken by her brother's death and her messy relationship with her parents." But I don't mean to sound like I'm giving myself any excuses. "I'm a girl who makes stupid, awful decisions and runs away and hurts other people."
"You are not broken, you silly, beautiful girl."
"No, maybe not anymore." Did he just call me beautiful? "But I was, and I did hurt you."
"I hurt you, too."
"It's not the same."
"Well, maybe we can make it up to each other."
The hope I stamped down on the last time I saw him flares back to life with so much force it takes my breath away, and my next word barely makes it out. "How?"
"For starters…" He pauses, giving me an oddly tilted smile. "How about I love you, too?"
And then I'm in his arms, or he's in mine, and he's taking my mouth with his own and I've never known such happiness.
Eventually, though, he breaks away again. Not far, but enough so that my lips ache at the sudden loss of his. He speaks with a bit more sternness than I'm comfortable with. "Cassidy."
I hold my breath, nervous at the contemplation across his features. Nervous that somehow he just changed his mind. That he just filled me with hope, with happiness, and now he's going to take it away again. "Yes?"
"I want to be a part of your life. The good parts, but also the messy ones. Don't cut me off from things that are important to you anymore."
Oh, thank God. I'm almost weak in his arms with relief. But my next words come out with the strength I've been working on. "I don't want to run from life anymore. Even before you showed up, I was done running. My new mantra is to deal with things head on. Even when—especially when—they're hard to face."
"Good."
"But I don't want to be your escape either, from everything going on with Katy."
"You were never my escape. I wasn't avoiding life, you just made it easier to handle."
"I love you, Gage," I tell him. "The only direction I ever want to run again is the one that takes me to you."
After that, there are no more words. My mouth is pressed to his and my hands curve around his hips, the brick at his back scraping my knuckles.
I might beg him to take me right here.
Except someone behind us clears their throat.
I spin around—and my counselor is standing there. "Take it somewhere more appropriate, Miss Evans."
My face flames, but it doesn't burn nearly as bright as the desire and the joy flowing like rivers under my skin. So I smile and pull Gage back to my car. And his car, too, damn it. He has to follow me back to my apartment instead of riding with me.
Though maybe it's safer this way. I can't leap across the seat and eat him right up if we aren't in the same car.
"How will this work?" I ask him when we've made it safely to my apartment, unlocking my door.
"I can write songs anywhere," he says.
My breath catches. "Even in North Carolina?"
"Even in North Carolina." His grin is brilliant.
My face is numb with this complete shock of happiness. My blood is doing the hundred-yard sprint through my veins, flying, flying, flying. "Gage." I grab his hand, squeezing it. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."
"I can't come right away," he says, while I give him the fastest tour ever of my place. "Katy still needs me close to home."
"Of course," I say, loving him a little harder for the way he cares for his sister.
"I can visit, though, maybe even bring her with me."
"I'll come home all the time."
"Then, when Katy's stronger… "
"Then when Katy's stronger," I repeat, beaming so wide my face hurts. "Oh, and this," I say, opening the door, "is my bedroom."
"We can talk about the rest later," he says, his expression smoldering, his eyes filling with desire that almost, almost, comes close to matching the longing under my skin.
"Much, much later," I agree.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
He is above me, his mouth an inch from my own. I breathe in his breath and he breathes in mine and the rest of the light fades from the sky until we're surrounded by whispers of darkness.
"Give me your mouth or give me death," I say, meaning to crack a smile but unable to with the tightness of the need rushing through my body.
And so he presses his lips to mine.
And then to my jaw.
My neck.
My collarbone.
He trails kisses across my chest, from shoulder to shoulder.
His hand smoothes across my waist, dipping below the hem of my skirt, and it's been so long since his hands have been on me I nearly explode right here. My entire body trembles and when his fingers drift under my skirt, along the inside of my thigh, I can't bite b
ack a sigh.
"I've missed your sweet little noises," he whispers against my skin, and one long finger traces the line of my panties where they meet the inside of my leg.
"Hmm…" is about all I can manage.
He watches my face as he pushes my panties to the side. He traces me with his finger and the heat everywhere under my skin shoots like an arrow on fire for that. Exact. Spot. And when that same finger dips into me, followed by another, my back arches toward the ceiling and I'm grabbing at him, his skin, pulling, pushing, my breath quaking out through my mouth.
He gives a little one-two flick with his fingers inside of me, and it's been so long since he's touched me like this, I spiral completely apart. His name leaves my lips. A rush between my thighs jolts straight up into my belly. And warmth. So much warmth. Everywhere under my skin.
Everywhere.
A moment later, I raise my hips, making it easy for him to slide my skirt down my legs. And he doesn't stop me when I unbuckle his belt, gliding his pants down with my foot.
He grabs a condom from a pocket, before kicking his pants off the bed and then slipping it on. He pauses, holding himself over me, and looks at me with such a fierce expression, so full of desire and so full of…love, that I might die from the heat of the combination.
I wind my legs around him, but still he studies me, touching me but not entering. I'm quivering, still, and aching for more. He holds my wrists above my head with one hand, his other claiming my breasts, teasing my nipples until they've never been so hard.
"Gage." I rock my hips, and finally, finally, he slides into me. Feeling him there, again, when even just an hour ago I still believed I'd lost him forever…it's almost enough to make me cry.
But then he drives in deeper.
And harder.
And tears are the furthest thing from my mind.
I kiss his neck, running my teeth along his skin, and he shudders against me.
"I've missed this, too, sweetheart," he says at some point, his mouth finding the lobe of my ear. "I've missed you."
"Prove it," I whisper back. And he does. Sweet words are over now and there is only the joining of our bodies. Twisting and turning. Slamming hips and raking nails and that rush begins to build between my thighs again and I can't hold it back. The pleasure sweeping through me is so intense, my entire body rocks. He loses it this time, a second after I do, and if I could crawl out of my skin and into his to keep these sensations spiraling through me, through him, I would.
He holds me until my pulse falls back to its normal beat, and I open my mouth to ask him something, but I can't remember what. I'm too spent. The emotions of today—of the past few weeks—have burned me into the cinders of exhaustion.
Or maybe it was the way Gage and I just worked each other.
A combination, probably. But whatever it is, I snuggle into his chest and I fall asleep listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.
In the morning, I wake in his arms, completely content.
Looking at his face so close to mine, at the dark sweep of his lashes against his cheeks, I realize he's still holding me. I didn't escape, at some point while sleeping, to the other side of the bed.
I really am done escaping things, and people.
And Gage.
This summer was a mess, but the moments with him made it a beautiful mess. I'll never be able to take back the stupid things I've done, but the future's stretching out before me, full of possibility. Full of life. Full of Gage.
When he opens his eyes a few minutes later, I'm smiling.
Then he is, too.
THANKS FOR READING!
Although Cassidy's story has come to an end, her college roommate's is about to begin!
Discover Quinn and Sawyer next in Surf & Surrender, the second book in the Summer Love series!
Dear Reader,
If you enjoyed Rock & Release, I will love you forever if you leave a review—or even just tell a friend who might also like the story. Reviews have the power to make or break a book, and right now that power is all in your hands! Regardless, though, thanks so much for reading!
Have a great day!
xo
Riley Edgewood
PS. Want updates about my future books? How about access to deleted scenes, secret chapters, short stories, love letters, and other fun things down the road? Sign up for my newsletter here!
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Surf & Surrender
SURF & SURRENDER
Surf & Surrender
by
Riley Edgewood
She wants to forget he ever existed. He'd never give up her memory.
Quinn Westwood is completely over Sawyer Carson. He broke her heart years ago and disappeared from her life without a word. So yeah. She's over him. Never even thinks of him. In fact, she's spending her college summer break surfing and lifeguarding in the Outer Banks, while nursing a bruised heart from a different relationship gone wrong. She doesn't have room in her mind or heart for Sawyer—until she runs into him at a beach bonfire and the sparks that fly between them are way hotter than the flames heating the sand.
Sawyer never got over Quinn. The only thing stronger than the way he feels for her is the secret keeping them apart, but sharing it would destroy more than just his life—it'd ruin hers, as well. Still, he can't seem to keep away from her, can't seem to keep his hands off of her soft, tempting skin. Especially since she has even less self-control when it comes to reigniting the physical side of what made them perfect together.
But secrets have a way of slipping out, and when Sawyer's is revealed it threatens to shatter everyone involved. He'll have to face walking away a second time, and Quinn will have to decide if fighting for him is worth it when the fallout could affect more than just her heart, but also those of the people she loves most.
Order your copy of Quinn's story today!
ABOUT RILEY
Riley lives in the DC area and spends most of her time with her characters, playing with her toddler and husband, and pretending she knows how to be an adult. Former dancer. Current writer. Lifelong lover of accessories, books, and the beach. And cats. Can't forget the kitties, of which she has two.
Visit RileyEdgewood.com to contact Riley! She loves hearing from her readers!
Twitter.com/rileyedgewood
Facebook.com/rileyedgewoodauthor
Instagram.com/rileyedgewood
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
One million thank yous to each and every one of you, especially:
Katy Upperman and Alison Miller. You girls. I can't even find the words to write an appropriate level of appreciation. From my rambling, frequent emails. My just one more favor requests. Twitter check-ins… You've seen this book from start to finish and your words of encouragement meant more than you'll ever know. Your critiques pushed Cassidy's story into a place I never even dreamed it could go. This book wouldn't be launchable if it weren't for you.
Elizabeth Briggs. My first NA writing friend and critiquer extraordinaire. Your feedback was invaluable—both with my story and regarding the NA realm all together. THANK YOU. <4 (<— You know it.)
Lola Sharp. Oh, my dear. Thank you for your always kind words and support. And for reading. And for the slumber parties over the years. And for, basically, everything. Heart you, Lolabug.
Cristin Terrill and Donna Scheitlin. I adore you both and always will. Thank you for the countless hours you spent helping me brainstorm and every bit of encouragement you offered along the way. If you look hard enough, you will find a nail polish reference. :)
Caroline Richmond. Thank you for imparting words of wisdom throughout this process—and for letting me steal some snuggles with your gorgeous little Baby Overlord. I look forward to many more fun lunches & play dates in the future!
Shannon Messenger. For always being such an awesome, supportive friend and champion in writing and in life. Hurry up and come back to visit.
Stephanie Parent. You fabulous copy editor, you. Sorry about all the ellipses spacing issues. And thank you for your sharp eyes and sweet notes. AND for the last minute changes.
Sarah Hansen. Thank you for creating such a gorgeous triplet of artwork for this serial. I can't wait to see what comes next!
Barry Scheitlin. Dude. When you booked that writing retreat for Donna, Cristin, and me, this book was born. Thank you forever!
Annie P. & Ali MacShields & Bobby. Thank you for the the VIP passes that sparked the idea for this story!
Mom. For the countless hours of name and title brainstorming. You're seriously the best with these things. And I hope the steamier parts of this book didn't make it hard to look me in the eye. But it's okay if they did. :)
Nelson, thank you for pushing me. Thank you for the life we have. Thank you for being an amazing husband to me and an even better father to our sweet little gingersnap.
And to my sweet little gingersnap. I love you more than words can ever express. Thank you for giving up some of our playtime so mama could write.
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