by Magan Vernon
Coach put his hands together, looking between us. “You know, they call these the Olympic games and games have players. Some players are good, and some are bad. There are games that are pure luck and games of skill. Figure skating isn’t like hockey with a definite back and forth of scoring points. It takes precision. One mess up and you can’t always come back from it.”
I put my head down, feeling like this conversation was pointed at my mess up in qualifying. I couldn’t let that happen again. I’d let down Coach, Logan, and the country.
“But, you two have proven that you’re some of the best players out there. You have heart. Something that other players like to keep frozen,” Coach said.
That one had me looking up and trying not to roll my eyes. I was pretty sure I was the notorious ice queen. Even though it was a horrible nickname, I knew it. I was great at skating and keeping my feelings in check, that is until recently. Blake Tremblay unfroze my heart, but then all it took was one thing to freeze it again quickly.
“I’ve been hard on both of you. As a coach that’s what I’ve always done is push you to go further. To be the best. But on this, your last night skating for competition in The Games, I want you not only to do your best, and to fight hard, but to skate with heart. I want the judges to feel this performance. Skate with heart, you two. Show them the real king and queen of the ice.”
Logan grinned, putting his arm around me and Coach did the same, enveloping me in a hug. I’d put everything I had into the ice, but my heart wasn’t put into anything. Never. That was the part that did stay frozen.
But not anymore.
If I was going to go out of the skating world, it wasn’t going to be as the ice queen, but the queen of the ice.
I took the hugs from Coach and Logan then headed out to the ice, catching the end of Canada’s performance. Alexis and Jacob landed their double axels then went into a final spin before their pose. The crowd, of course, erupted in applause, throwing stuffed animals and roses down on the ice. The two looked like an evil version of Ken and Barbie in their bright pink, sequined outfits. If they weren’t right in front of me, I might have made gagging faces at Logan. Pink wasn’t either of their colors, and I’m pretty sure Alexis might have pulled off the leisure suit Jacob was wearing better than him and same for wearing her leotard. I think he had the better body, to be honest. I wasn’t trying to be petty, but I couldn’t help the evil green jealousy that crawled inside of me. I just couldn’t let it out. I would only let it out on the ice. To show her that I was the queen.
Logan and I golf clapped, forcing smiles as the Canadian pair slid off the ice. I thought they would go right to their spots with their coach, but instead, Alexis leaned in, putting her arms around me.
A hug? What was this? Was she going to snap my bra or maybe go for a Tonya Harding move and break my knee cap? I saw her thunder thighs; they could easily take me out.
I gingerly hugged her back, and instead of pulling away, Alexis put her lips to my ear. “I should thank Blake for making that bet. See you on the podium…or not.”
She pulled away before I could respond and smiled, waving to the crowd then put on her blade guards and headed to the side with Jacob and her coach.
“What was that about?” Logan asked.
I put on my fake smile, waved in Alexis direction, and whispered to Logan, “It was the fuel this frozen heart needed to melt.”
Logan and I got to the center of the ice, and he put his arms around my waist, my back to his stomach. I could feel his heart beating wildly against the side of my cheek.
“Are you ready for this?” I whispered.
He smiled, lifting my chin up to meet his eyes, something that wasn’t part of our routine but made a genuine smile cross my face looking at his grin. “We got this,” he whispered.
The music started, and we glided together across the ice, every step in sync like we’d done it a million times before. Which we had. But this time was different. This was the last time. Our final competition performance. I wanted to close my eyes and just feel the ice. Feel every movement and ingrain it into my memory forever. But instead, I kept my eyes wide. Looking out into the crowd. I didn’t know if there was a dreadlocked man out there, staring back at me, but when Logan and I went into our first jump, I landed flawlessly, basking in the applause from the audience. This was what made me feel free. Feel alive. I’d always been so nervous for competition and kept bottled up. Just focused on my moves, but this time I smiled. I let the applause of the audience fill me and breathed it in. This skate was for us. For me.
I wanted to say that after landing every perfect jump and spin that we made it to gold medal position. But our scores put us just under, and I had to smile and squeeze Logan’s hand, standing on the podium with silver around our necks as we watched the Canadian flag lowered with their anthem playing.
Alexis and Jacob smiled as tears streamed down their face, watching their flag waving as the silent crowd watched us all. I wanted to say something smart when their anthem ended, but instead, I hugged the bronze medalist Chinese team in their matching silk kimonos, then turned to Alexis, keeping the smile on my face.
“Great skating you two,” I said, shaking Jacob’s hand then gingerly hugging Alexis.
“You two. One heck of a comeback,” Jacob said, grinning his gap-toothed grin that I was pretty sure was aimed more at Logan’s direction than mine. Boy was he barking up the wrong tree.
I smirked. “You know, sometimes it takes a little extra motivation to unthaw something.”
Alexis blinked and opened her mouth to say something but before she could, I waved and took Logan’s hand. “Come on, Lo. Let’s get out of here.”
Logan squeezed my hand. “You got it, Elsa.”
I laughed, and we skated off the ice to our waiting coach who hugged us both, his arms around our shoulders. “I want you to know that I’m still so proud of both of you. I wish this wasn’t our last games.”
“Maybe it won't be,” Logan sang.
Coach raised an eyebrow then him and Logan both looked at me.
I just shrugged as much as I could. “I guess anything could happen.”
I might not have been walking away from my final games with a gold, but I had something better. A new appreciation for life. If I didn’t skate forever, or go back for another Games, I knew there was more to my life. Maybe I wouldn’t end up in a relationship with a snowboarder, or maybe I’d meet someone in New York.
Either way, I’d been playing The Games for so long that I’d gotten lost in it. I’d lost my heart in it. Having coach talk about the spirit of The Games and leaving my heart on the ice suddenly made it all clearer. I just didn’t know what that would mean. My heart was unfrozen, yes, but it was still broken. And I wasn’t sure how to fix it.
Chapter 17
Blake
“Do you always hang in the shadows? This is getting really creepy.” Becca asked, her boots clicking on the cement steps.
“If you’re going to try and hit me again, at least let me know where, so I can be prepared. I’m supposed to meet with a protein bar company and would prefer not to have a black and blue face,” I said, holding up my hands.
Becca shook her head, walking toward the alcove and the wall I was leaning against. “No hitting this time. Just talking. You know something you should be doing with my sister instead of just trying to make a show for the media.”
“This isn’t a show. This is what I do. I know your sister is reserved and all, but sometimes you gotta make a statement,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I expected her to hit me again anyway without warning and I probably deserved it. But I couldn’t stay away. I had to watch Kelly. I loved seeing her so entranced with skating. Hell, it had only been a week, but I was starting to love everything the girl did. I would have told her that too if she ever talked to me that is.
“Statements aren’t always going to get you the girl. Especially one like my sister. It couldn’t hurt you to maybe try and
talk to her. Go to our room or something. I don’t know. I can message you when she goes to the coffee shop or something. I don’t know. I’m not good at this shit.”
I groaned. “What do you want me to say, Becca? That I’m going to pull some move like those guys in the movies? Maybe I could be like that long-haired guy from that teen movie who buys the girl a guitar. Though, I don’t see your sister as the band type. Maybe I could just get her some new skates. How much do those things cost anyway?”
“Or…you could try talking to her. You know like a real person. Face to face. No jokes. No gimmicks. Just you and my sister,” Becca offered.
“Yeah, the key is finding her and getting her to talk to me,” I muttered, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
“You know, we’re supposed to go to dinner tonight with my parents after this performance. If you happened to show up, I’m sure Mom would invite you to join us,” Becca offered.
I raised an eyebrow. “Why are you helping me? I thought you hated me after everything with your sister.”
She sighed. “Because it sucks when you like someone and then you mess up in a big way and don’t know how to fix it.”
“Speaking from personal experience?” I asked.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Dreads.”
I shook my head. “Hey, just offering. Since you’re helping me out, maybe I can help you.”
Becca blew out a big breath, and her shoulders sagged as if she had given up. “Okay. It’s a guy I really shouldn’t be with, because of how close he is with my..er… family. If things messed up between us, it could go really bad. I thought we were just going to be a hookup for The Games, but…wait, why am I telling you all of these details?”
“This guy wouldn’t happen to be your sister’s skating partner, would he?” I raised my eyebrows, already knowing the answer.
“If I said ‘no’ would you even believe me?”
I laughed, finally letting the weight off my shoulders since the beginning of our conversation. “I think the guy’s pretty into you as well. You should just tell him, ‘ey, I like you.' And see where it goes.”
“First off, I’m not saying ‘ey’ because that’s really Canadian sounding. And two, that’s easier said than done. What if things go bad? Even though this is probably Kelly’s last Olympics, I’m sure I’ll see him again, and it’ll be super awkward. Not that it isn’t awkward enough that Kelly walked in on us…”
I shook my head, trying to get the visual of Logan’s pasty naked ass out of my head. “Should I even ask what happened with that?”
“I know Kelly wouldn’t have walked in on us if you didn’t pull that dick move with her finding out she was a bet, so she left your little date or whatever it was early,” Becca growled.
I put my hands up. “Okay, fair enough.” I sighed, taking a step forward. “Look, Becca, I know you’ve gotta hate me and you know I like your sister, something I messed up. But I can tell you from experience, if you do really like Logan, tell him. If everything goes wrong, at least you have this time together.”
Becca raised an eyebrow. “Are you giving this advice to me or yourself?”
I shrugged. “Maybe both.”
The crowd roared with applause behind us, and Becca looked up at the stands, letting out a deep breath. “I’d better go. Hopefully, I get to watch my sister get a medal.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Hopefully, it’s gold.”
Becca smirked. “Not likely, but I’ll message you where we’re going after this. If she doesn’t get a medal, either you’re going to cheer her up, or I’m going to have hurt you again.”
I smiled in spite of her words. “Sounds like a plan.”
***
Becca messaged me the address of a restaurant downtown Pyeongchang, not far from the bar we went to the first night before the Opening Ceremony.
The guys and I had been living off microwave burritos and Mcdonalds, so I couldn’t turn down a chance for local food, and to get to talk to Kelly. Though I had no idea what the hell I was going to say to her. Especially not in front of her parents.
The restaurant was almost completely covered with snow and packed with more Americans than the place had probably ever seen. That was the only way I found the place, because there wasn’t much for lights or signs, not that I could read Korean, but the line out the door said it must have been popular.
There was one particular table, crowded in the back, past the smell of sizzling food, that everyone was clamoring to see the girls at that table. Just like everyone else, I was drawn to the blonde in the corner. The one with the megawatt smile that’s sparkle matched the silver medal hanging around her neck. A medal that would have been gold if it wasn’t for me distracting her. Not that the girl wasn’t a distraction to me, but that distraction motivated me. Made me want to push for better. If that’s all I ever got from her, I should have been happy and so should have my parents. But I didn’t just want her to push me for that one week. I wanted her to push me forever. As stupid as it sounded since I barely knew the girl, I wanted to have her for as long as she’d let me. Maybe it would only be during The Games or a few months after. Or maybe it really would be forever.
My parents had always ground it into me that I had to be the best and work my ass off to get it. But when they pushed, it always made me just want to do the opposite. They had me in fancy ski lessons, and I immediately dropped out when I was in middle school and picked up a board, never stopping. Mom and Dad tried to pretend I never started. I had to save up my own money from tips in at the lodge restaurant to buy my own board and taught myself by watching videos online. When I got the attention of some bigger skiers and snowboarders on the slopes, Mom and Dad finally accepted it as a career then got me a coach to start training me for the Olympics. It took me another thirteen years to make The Games, and each time I didn’t qualify, my parents just pushed harder. It wasn’t until I went away to train on my own for a few months that I was finally able to make it. I had to be my own motivation.
But with Kelly, everything was different. She made me want to be better. Didn’t push, just gave me the inner jolt I needed to board the best I ever had. If only I could go back and not make that bet. Then again, if I didn’t agree to it, then I wouldn’t have ever met the golden girl.
“Blake, fancy seeing you here,” Logan said, standing up and yelling over the crowd. Thank God, he changed out of that stupid puffy shirt and vest that made him look like a gay pirate and wore a black sweater and jeans.
I glanced between him and the smiling Becca in her white beanie with wild blonde curls flying out from under it. Then I felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on me. Everyone but Kelly who kept her head down, signing a napkin for someone.
Becca and Kelly’s mom, Diane, stood up. I loved her bright, warm smile. It was nicer than any expression I’d ever gotten from my parents. “Blake! I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve seen you! I hope you weren’t expecting cheese curds since Becca ate them all.”
“Damn right I did,” Becca said, putting her fist in the air.
Diane took the few steps toward me and enveloped me in a big hug. Her giant American flag sweater smelled like Korean food and a lot of floral perfume. It smelled like a warm and inviting home. Something I’d been missing out on and didn’t know it until I met this American family.
“Hey, Diane, sorry, been busy,” I said with a small smile as she let go of me.
“Well join us for dinner! There’s always room for one more!” She put her hand on my arm, smiling brightly.
“I’m sure he’s busy and has to get back to the slopes, Mom,” Kelly said, piping up as she signed one more autograph then the crowd slowly scurried away as if they didn’t want to feel her wrath.
She looked so small in the corner of the table in her light blue sweater and blonde hair over her shoulder. Small but fierce. She could give a look that could melt the ice. Or my heart.
I looked up, meeting Kelly’s eyes. There was a hint of s
adness, but something else to them: hope. At least that’s what I wanted it to be. “I don’t have any more competitions, so I’m pretty free, if you don’t mind me joining,” I said cautiously with a shrug.
Kelly pursed her lips. “Not at all.”
I walked with Diane the few steps to the empty seat at the table and Kelly’s dad, Dwayne, stood up, giving me a handshake that would knock the snot off a moose. He was Country big, towering over me in size and weight with a long gray beard that fell to the middle of his plaid shirt which stretched across his stomach like it was about to burst. “Glad to see you, Blake. That was one hell of a performance you had.”
“You saw my slalom?” I asked, taking a seat.
Dwayne laughed, sitting next to me. “Well, when Becca said she had tickets to see something else, I couldn’t turn it down. We only got to watch it from the stands and not in the athlete section, but it was still one hell of a show. No offense, Kelly, Skating’s nice and all, but it’s nice to get out in the snow. You know as long as I’m not driving in it. Or have to be up milking the cows.”
“I’m guessing there are some Korean cows if you’re getting homesick. Who watches them while you’re gone anyway?” I asked.
Dwyane laughed a deep belly laugh, slapping me on the back which almost knocked my teeth out. “You’re funny kid.”
“Okay?” I asked, not sure how else to respond.
“They have people that work for them to help take care of the cows,” Kelly muttered.
Dwayne smiled like a proud Papa. “Yep. That would have never been possible if Kelly, here, wouldn’t have become our little golden girl. Hell, if neither one of my girls were Olympic superstars, they’d probably still be my only workers. Never thought I’d be watching them in The Games, or eating food at a hole in the wall in Korea. What do you suppose bulgolgi is anyway? Some kind of fish?” he asked, staring at the menu.