by Leisha Kelly
A stranger might have thought she was Samuel’s. A stranger might have been willing to believe Edward’s story. And I might have thought the girl was Edward’s own child, if he hadn’t been incarcerated back then. Of course, Edward’s face and coloring was like their mother’s. Except for his build, he didn’t look much like Samuel at all. And, oh God, what were we to do with this child now?
I hugged her, and she cried in my arms.
“Are you tired, sweetie?”
She shook her head.
“You’re welcome to stay the night, and as long as necessary to settle this. We can get some help maybe from the sheriff in town. He’ll know what to do to find your family.”
She shook her head, looking up at me with those deep eyes. “I want to stay here. With my daddy. Please?”
I couldn’t answer her. I heard the sound of Edward’s car starting and then driving away. Samuel came in and just stood for a moment in the doorway. Finally he sat in the chair beside me. “He just left. Maybe I should have tried to keep him.”
“Why?”
“We’ll need the truth, if we can get it out of him. Ben Law will have some questions.”
Ben Law, the sheriff. An apt name. Samuel was thinking like I was. Somebody would have to find this child’s family.
He took my hand. “What my brother said, Juli, it’s not so.”
“I know that.”
He sighed. “I just thought it wouldn’t hurt, to say it plain.” He reached for Katie’s hand too. “I’m sorry. For all that’s happened. Are you all right?”
She nodded, staring up into his face. Lord, how she looked like him! Did Samuel see it too?
His dark eyes were stormy. “I need to know,” he asked her softly. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not so much.”
I could see Samuel tighten. “What do you mean?”
“Mostly he just talks and yells a lot. He didn’t hit me but once.”
Samuel hung his head. “Where’d he find you? Where’s your family?”
“I don’t know where Mama went. She told me to be good. And I been trying.”
“You’re being very brave.” He stopped, turning his eyes to me. “What are we going to do now, Juli?”
I had to sigh. “It’s too late to do anything more tonight. The kind thing would be to let her rest.” I wanted to tell him that she believed Edward’s lie. But I didn’t.
“You’re right.” He looked at Katie again. “The kids are in the beds upstairs, but you can have ours. Okay? We can talk some more in the morning.”
“I . . . I always sleep on the floor.”
“You don’t have to here.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Is Mr. Eddie coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Did he leave my bag?”
Samuel shook his head.
“My dollies—” She suddenly broke down in front of us.
“Oh, honey.” I held her tight, trying to console her.
“There was . . . there was three of ’em . . . a mommy and a daddy and a little girl.” She sniffed. “I cut a magazine . . .”
“Paper dolls? Those are special.” I petted her hair a little, and she cuddled against me. And then I had an idea. “Would it help you feel better if I showed you something else that’s special?”
She gave me a tearful little nod. Here she was among strangers, without anything familiar. Maybe my small gift could help just a little.
“Samuel, you know that box on the closet shelf?”
“The Christmas things?”
“Yes.”
He got it for me, and I pulled out the little yarn dolls that our pastor’s wife had made for us to hang on the tree. Rorey and Sarah still got them out to play with sometimes. I was hoping just having something to hold would help put this child at ease. “You can touch,” I told her. “Pick out a few to sleep with, if you want.”
“Really?” She looked frightened.
“Yes.”
She picked out three. Two of the biggest and one of the smallest. “They’re a real family,” she said, looking at Samuel.
“Let’s take them on to bed,” I said before he had a chance to answer. I led her by the hand to our bed and turned down the covers. Samuel followed and lit the candle on the top of the dresser.
I helped her under the top sheet and rolled the blanket out of the way as Samuel opened the window to let in a little breeze. Katie lay her head back against the pillow with the yarn dolls clenched together in one fist. Still she was looking at Samuel.
Maybe he had relatives he didn’t know about. Maybe one of them had fathered this child. What else could account for the resemblance?
“Katie—is that really your name?”
She nodded. I smoothed her hair and leaned and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well,” I whispered.
She turned her eyes to me and gave just a little smile. “I thought you’d be mad. Mr. Eddie said you’d be real mad.”
“He doesn’t know me. This is the first time we’ve met.”
Samuel went quietly out. And I stood up, about to go too, when little Katie called me. “Mrs. Wortham, I wish you was my mom. Then we could be a real family, right?”
I didn’t know how to answer her. I wanted to say that she must have a real family somewhere waiting for her, wanting her. But what if it wasn’t so? What would tomorrow hold for her?
“Mrs. Wortham . . .”
She looked so scared, lying there alone. I was certain that in her shoes I would have been scared too. “Would you like me to sing you a song?”
Her eyes opened wider. “Would you? Really? Mama doesn’t sing to me. She’s always too tired.”
I hadn’t thought. Her mother was a singer, so maybe singing to Katie was exactly the wrong thing to do. She shouldn’t be thinking of me as a mother figure. She surely wouldn’t be here very long. But I’d have to sing now, like it or not, because I’d offered. I took a deep breath. “Well, if you want me to sing for you, you have to close your eyes.”
She did. And I sang the sleepy song, followed by a church hymn and then a lullaby that Grandma Pearl had taught me long ago. By that time, Katie was completely still, exhausted surely, and hopefully out for the rest of the night. I sat there for a moment on the edge of her bed, wondering where Samuel had gone so quietly. He was understandably troubled by his brother’s sudden appearance. And the accusation.
I thought of the summer before we’d married, when we’d sat down to talk about our pasts and our future together. “I’ve only lied to you once,” he’d confessed to me then. And I forgave him immediately, because the lie he’d told me was that he’d never known his father. “I didn’t want you to know what I came from,” he’d said. “I didn’t want you to think I could ever be that way.”
Violent. Irresponsible. Samuel’s father had been that and much more. And his mother was a very difficult woman. Edward was like them, maybe. But not Samuel. Samuel was a tenderhearted, gentle, hardworking man. What must he be feeling about all this? Did he wonder if I would doubt him?
I rose up quietly, leaving the candle burning just a little while, in case the girl woke up and felt anxious in this strange place. I tiptoed upstairs to check on the children and found them sleeping quietly, Sarah sprawled sideways across her bed and Robert all curled up the way he’d slept since he was a baby. What would it be like in the morning when they came down to find this strange child here? How would Katie feel? Maybe having a little girl so close to her size to play with would make her want to stay that much more.
Going down the stairs, I sighed. Katie wouldn’t want to leave anyway. If we were in a smelly old shack without another soul to play with, she would still want to stay. Because of Samuel most of all. What were we to do?
Dirty dishes were waiting in the kitchen, and ordinarily I would have done them just to have them out of the way before the morning’s bustle. But this time I left them in the dishpan and stepped outside. Whiskers met me on
the porch, and my eyes searched the dark yard for Samuel. Finally I saw him behind the apple tree, just standing. I went to him slowly, not wanting to interrupt if he were praying. But I needed a hug. Surely he would too. I put my hand on his shoulder, and he drew me into his arms.
“Is she sleeping?”
“Yes.”
He held me for a moment in the quiet, struggling, it seemed, for the right words. “Juli, I’m sorry . . .”
I felt a sudden stir inside. What if it were true? But no, I would not entertain such a thought. Not about Samuel.
“I had no idea he was out. Or that he’d do something like this—”
“It’s all right.”
“No. It isn’t. She’s just a little girl. Can you imagine how scared she must have been, traveling for miles with a stranger? And Edward, as coarse as he is! How could he hit her? And what do we do? If it’s true, that her mother didn’t want to keep her—”
“We can’t be sure of anything right now.”
“I know. But she must have family somewhere.” He grew quiet. “Juli, when he got in the car, he swore he was telling the truth. I don’t know what to think. I’ve seen his lies plenty of times, but he’s gotten better at it. I don’t know what he’s trying to do. Turn you away from me, maybe.”
“Honey, maybe it’s a different Wortham. Maybe a relative, even, that you didn’t know about. He might just be mistaken—”
“Then why is he enjoying this so much?”
I had no answer.
“Sometimes I think you’re the lucky one, Juli.” He sighed. “All your family is dead. And they left you with fond memories—” His voice broke.
“Sammy . . .”
He sunk down to the grass, and I held him. I wasn’t sure what was happening. I’d never seen him like this.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen him.”
“Were you ever friends?”
“I tried.”
I was quiet for a moment. “We should get some sleep. We have a lot to think about in the morning.”
“Will you stay out here with me, Juli? Under the stars tonight?”
I didn’t want to protest. But there was Katie inside, in a strange house. “Honey, what if that little girl wakes up?”
“You’re right.” He pulled himself to his feet. “How ’bout we stretch out a blanket in the sitting room?”
I didn’t know why he’d wanted to sleep outside. He’d never before mentioned such an idea. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
I took his hand, and we walked to the house. He didn’t speak again. I looked in on Katie and blew out the candle. When I came back to the sitting room, Samuel was unrolling Emma’s big comforter quilt to give us something soft to lie on. We wouldn’t need a cover, as warm as it was.
He sat there, looking up at me in the soft moonlight filtering through the nearest window. He looked so vulnerable. Like a child, almost. Like Katie, scared and alone.
“I’ve never known another woman, Juli. In all my life.”
“Oh, honey, I know.” I held him, kissed him, but I couldn’t help but feel his tension. If Edward did this to him every time he came around, I hoped he never came back.
Finally Samuel lay still beside me, and I tried to sleep. Tomorrow he’d have to get to town. Maybe he could use Barrett Post’s pickup again. Ben Law would know what should be done for Katie, whether she’d been abandoned, kidnapped, or whatever. Maybe he would want to talk to Edward. Almost surely he would. But I was still glad Edward hadn’t stayed.
Late in the night, I woke to find Samuel shivering. It wasn’t cold, not by any stretch of the word. Almost I waked him, thinking it was one of those dreams he used to have when we were first married. But I only kissed his forehead and let him sleep on, because if I woke him I thought he might not go back to sleep at all.
Slowly, quietly, I slipped to our bedroom to check on Katie again. She looked like an angel there on our bed, her dark curls spread out across the pillow. But then I noticed that her cheeks were wet. She was crying in her sleep. I gazed through the doorway toward Samuel on the sitting room floor. It seemed almost as if they were sharing something tonight. Some sadness that no one knew about but them.
I went back to my place on the quilt, thinking it might be better not to take this child to Ben Law. Who would care for her? It sounded as if her mother really did leave her, regardless of what Edward’s role in that might have been. What if they couldn’t find the woman? Or if she refused to take responsibility for her child, even if they did?
I lay down carefully, scooted up against Samuel, and eased my arm around him. He turned his head just a little. “Bear paws,” he said. And then he was still.
“What was that?” I asked, sorry I’d waked him with my touch. But he didn’t answer. He wasn’t awake.
I lay there listening to his steady breaths. He knew everything about me. I’d told him what it had been like when I was a little girl, losing my mother and then my father. I’d told him about Grandpa Charlie, and especially about Grandma Pearl and all the things we used to do together. But I only knew Samuel’s parents’ names and that they hadn’t exactly been pleasant most of the time. I’d met his mother and his cousin Dewey, the only relative he could halfway trust. But Samuel didn’t tell me details. He just didn’t talk about it, especially about his father or Edward.
Lord, you know. You make no mistakes, and I’m sure we’ve met Katie for a reason. But this is so hard for Samuel. Help him. And help us to help this little girl.
FOUR
Samuel
I woke with the dream still on me. My father. Holding me over the stair rail, shouting at my screaming mother.
Hurriedly I sat up. Juli was already started on her day, and the sun was rising outside. How could I have slept so late?
With a dull ache in my stomach, I went to the washstand and poured water from the pitcher to the basin. The water on my cheeks was cool; it felt good to wash away the night. But we still had the day to face. My brother’s actions. And a scared little girl named Katie.
She was not in the bed when I peeked in. I found her and Juli together in the kitchen, stirring something in the batter bowl. I might have thought it was Sarah for size. But this girl’s hair was darker, curlier. Sarah’s was more like Julia’s, lighter brown, straight, and beautiful.
“Robert’s up already too,” Juli told me. “I sent him to check the eggs.”
“You should’ve waked me.”
“It does you good to sleep in a little, Samuel. You’re always up so early.”
“This is not just any day.”
Katie looked up at me, her sad eyes seeming filled with questions.
“Good morning,” I told her.
But she didn’t answer.
“I thought I’d let Sarah sleep as long as she wants,” Juli continued. “But it won’t be long. You know her.”
“I better get the milking done.”
Juli nodded. I took the milk pail and headed out to the barn. As I walked I thought on that child. She seemed to like Juli. Maybe her own mother hadn’t been so warm and inviting. I certainly knew what that felt like.
Looking in on Lula Bell first, I noticed her bulging eyes, the slow breaths. “Not feeling the best anymore, are you?” I said aloud. “Hate to say it, but my brother might have been right. Might be better to end it for you than to let you go on and suffer. Guess I better ask George about it.”
Lula Bell was a good cow, the first I’d ever milked. Emma’s cow, Sarah still said. It wasn’t a happy thought, to consider losing her. But some things are inevitable.
George would want to butcher. Save the meat. But Lula Bell might not wait till fall. I sighed, filling the feed trough, though the cow didn’t show the slightest bit of interest. She didn’t seem to want a drink either, or to go to pasture, though Sukey and her calf were eager. I milked as quickly as I could, but still Sukey was impatient. She didn’t like standing still for me, not if she could go out and run an
d play like a kid.
Robert had long since taken the eggs in by the time I got done milking; he was back out at the well, filling a bucket of water for his mother.
“Can I still go fishin’?” he called to me.
“I think so. And I expect Willy to have a mind for it and probably meet you over there.”
“Hope so,” he said. “More fun with him there.” He hurried to walk with me on the little path to the house, both of us with our buckets almost full.
Sarah stepped out on the back porch with Katie slowly following her and holding Sarah’s doll. Maybe Juli had told them to play outside till breakfast. If so, I was glad. It might give me a chance to talk to Juli alone a minute. I would need to use Barrett’s truck again, and now young Sam had it. I expected I’d have to walk over to Barrett’s later and ask about it. I always offered him work in exchange for its use, since I couldn’t fill his gas tank. And he was pretty understanding, knowing I wasn’t the only one in these parts who couldn’t afford an automobile.
“Dad, how come Uncle Edward didn’t stay?” Robert asked.
“That’s kind of a long story.”
“I thought he was in prison.”
“So did I.”
He moved his bucket to the opposite hand and looked at me with some concern. “He didn’t bust out, did he?”
“No. I suppose they let him out.”
“Then he don’t steal no more?”
“Let’s hope not.”
“Why’d he leave that girl? Is she my cousin?”
I looked to see where Sarah and Katie had gotten to. They were under the lilac bushes, safely out of earshot. “No. Robert, we don’t know who she is. Or where she belongs. I’ll have to take her to town today and see if I can get the sheriff to help me find out.”
“Dad, that don’t make no sense. Don’t she know her name?”
“Yes. But we need to know where her mother is, or whatever family would be closest to her. We need to get her home, if she has a home.”
“Well, why was she with Uncle Edward?”