“Is there anything on there that will tell me if I will be able to play baseball again?” Jason asked, and Sarah’s heart sank. That was the real issue. His parents had explained to her that he had been playing baseball since he was able to hold a bat and it wasn’t something that the boy would be able to give up on easily.
“There are actually some studies they’ve done in relation to athletes and defibrillators, but as of now they are recommending that anyone with a defibrillator doesn’t play most competitive sports,” David said. She could hear the regret in his voice and hoped that Jason could hear it too. David understood the loss the boy was feeling at knowing that he was going to have to give up his favorite sport. “There are other sports that you can participate in though.”
“But not baseball,” Jason said, his voice so low now that Sarah could barely hear him.
A few minutes later David walked out of the room. Sarah had heard him promise Jason that he would be around early the next morning to see him before he was taken to surgery and it seemed that the boy was finally going to accept that the surgery was necessary.
“That was hard,” David said as he joined Sarah in the hall.
“I know, but you did get him to agree to the surgery and you were honest with him,” Sarah said as they headed to see the last patient of the morning. “What did you play?”
“Basketball,” he said. “I had great dreams of making it big in the NBA.”
“What happened?” she asked as she knocked on the door of the next patient.
“I reached five-eleven and stopped growing,” he said, smiling as he turned his full attention to the little girl they found lying in the bed surrounded by stuffed animals.
Sarah looked down at the little blond girl whose breathing seemed even more labored today than it had the day before. As with a lot of pediatric heart patients, Lindsey was small for her ten years. The little girl looked up at her and smiled, those baby blue eyes hitting Sarah right in the heart. The two of them had been on such a long journey together over the past two and a half years as they had waited for a heart to become available. Lindsey been moved up recently on the waiting list so it was just a matter of waiting for a match with a donor heart. Only now Lindsey had been exposed to a respiratory virus that was making her heart work even harder.
She looked around the room and found the child alone as was often the case. Lindsey’s mother, Hannah, was very young, and a single mom without any support, and had to work long hours to provide for her and Lindsey. But Lindsey was very sick right now and her mother needed to be there. Sarah would touch base with Hannah and give her an update so that she understood exactly how critical Lindsey’s condition could become. Hannah had fought beside her daughter for so long, Sarah knew the young mother wouldn’t give up now.
As David walked over to the bed to introduce himself to the little girl, Sarah joined the nurse who was charting on the computer at Lindsey’s bedside.
“Has Pulmonary been in today?” Sarah asked.
“Yes, Dr. Lorten wants to do a bronchoscopy, but I haven’t been able to get Hannah to give us consent,” the nurse said.
“I’ll call her,” Sarah said. Then crouching down on the floor next to Lindsey’s bed, she asked, “How are you feeling, kiddo?” She pushed the child’s blond curls off her forehead and was relieved to feel it cool. No fever. At least that was a good sign.
“I’m not going to make it to see the horses this week, am I?” Lindsey asked.
“Horses?” asked David. He’d pulled a chair up beside Lindsey’s bed while Sarah had been talking with Kim.
Lindsey turned her blue eyes toward him and for the first time in the last week she saw the little girl’s eyes come alive.
“Oh, yes,” Lindsey said. “Sarah has lots of pretty horses. I’ve seen pictures of them all. Maple is my favorite. Sarah let me name her myself when she first got her.”
“And Maple will be waiting to see you as soon as you get better,” Sarah said as she squeezed the little girl’s hand in hers. “I’ll tell you what—when I get home I’ll take a picture of Maple for you and I’ll bring it in tomorrow.”
“I have to see this horse with a name like Maple,” David said as he gave Lindsey a smile. The little girl’s face turned pink and Sarah knew it wasn’t from a fever. It looked like Lindsey might have her first crush, which was so sweet to see that Sarah couldn’t help but smile up at the man who had made her special little girl happy when she was so sick.
She listened as Lindsey explained the therapy program Sarah ran at her father-in-law’s ranch teaching young cardiac patients from the community how to ride. Or if their medical condition wouldn’t allow them to participate in the riding lessons they could interact with the special therapy horses kept on the ranch. Sarah was proud of The Henderson Memorial horse therapy program that she had founded. Working with the children at the ranch wasn’t only good for them, it had also been good for her.
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” David said to the little girl.
“You can go too. Lots of times the doctors volunteer to help. Can he go, Sarah?” asked Lindsey.
“Of course he can come,” Sarah answered. “And as soon as you get better, I’ll take you out there to see Maple.”
“I don’t have any experience with horses, but I definitely know someone who would be interested in seeing them,” David said as he gave Sarah a questioning look.
“We’d be happy to have them. We run the program on the second Saturday of the month and all the staff is welcome,” Sarah said. A smile lit David’s face and she couldn’t help wondering who this someone was. A wife? She looked down at his left hand and saw that he wasn’t wearing a ring. Maybe a girlfriend? It wouldn’t be surprising that a man like David had someone special in his life.
As they left the room Sarah texted Hannah and asked her to call as soon as she had a minute. She didn’t want to scare the girl’s mother but she did need to get consent from Hannah and tell her that Lindsey’s condition was getting worse. Hannah needed to know.
“How long has she been waiting?” David asked as they headed back to the doctor’s workroom.
“Five years. She’s been in and out, though mostly in, of here for the last two and a half years,” Sarah said.
“Family issues?” David asked.
“Hannah’s young and a single parent. I know this had been hard on her and I worry about her. She’s been through a lot with Lindsey. She couldn’t have been more than nineteen or twenty when Lindsey was born. When Lindsey gets a heart transplant—” she refused to consider that there was the possibility that the little girl wouldn’t get a donor heart “—it’s going to be a lot more responsibility.”
“I hope for that child’s sake that her mother is up for the job, but an overabundance of toys and the lack of a parent present is a sign... Let’s just say I’ve had some experience as far as missing-in-action parents. It’s a lot harder to be the parent at the bedside than the one that sends the prettiest packages.” Again the hint of bitterness she heard in David’s voice surprised her.
“Hannah’s not like that. It will be a lot for her to handle, but she’ll do it,” Sarah asserted.
“About your ranch,” David started as they turned back toward the nursing station.
“David? David Wright? Is that you?” Melody, one of the older staff nurses said as she jumped up from her seat and came around the desk to the two of them. “It is you. How’s Davey doing? I’ve thought about him so much over the last few years.”
“Mel! I didn’t know if you still worked here or not. I meant to ask Dr. Benton, but I haven’t had a chance,” David said as he beamed down at the gray-haired nurse. “Davey’s great. I’ll have to bring him up to see you one day when I’m off.”
Sarah watched as the nurse turned around and announced to the other staff members that were looking curiously at the three of them, �
��David was here with his son, was it three years ago now?”
Sarah’s heart stuttered then sped up to a dangerous rate as she waited for David’s answer. Had she been wrong to dismiss that feeling of familiarity? Was this truly the man she’d seen over three years ago in the waiting room?
“Davey’s ‘new heart birthday’ was three years in January,” she heard David say.
That was all the confirmation she needed. It was him she remembered seeing.
The shock sent her spinning backward toward another time. A time when her perfect life had ended, only it hadn’t. Life hadn’t been that kind. Instead it had been heartbreaking and life shattering, made only bearable because of the man standing in front of her now.
Suddenly she was back in that waiting room, running from the terrible news the doctors had just given her and hiding from a family that would be as devastated as she was at the news that her little boy’s brain had lost the ability to function. How could she face them with this news? Then she had seen the dark-haired man hunched over in his seat appearing to bear a burden just as heavy as her own. Immediately she had felt a connection to him, a compassion that only someone who was traveling the same path as she could feel.
But was David really that man? The man she had seen that night in the waiting room, the one who had broken down when the organ transplant case manager had told him that they might have a heart for his son, the one that she had wondered about for the last three years, the one who may have been given back his son because of the gift of her own son’s heart?
It had to be more than just a coincidence that this man’s son had been given a heart in this hospital around the same time of her son’s accident. Around the same time that she had chosen to donate her own son’s organs. A decision she’d made because of that man in the waiting room.
It had been David’s eyes that had first sparked her memories of him, but now she could see that there was more. While he certainly looked much younger than the defeated man she had seen back then, the build and dark hair matched what she remembered of that night.
Sarah forced herself to stand there while the rest of the staff excitedly asked him questions concerning his son and his recovery. While the staff knew that she had lost her husband and son due to a car accident, Houston General was a big facility. She had been working on the adult surgical floor at the time of the accident and since her transfer to the pediatric cardiology service she had never discussed the donation of her own little boy’s organs with the staff here. It was too personal and still too painful.
And what did she do now? What was she supposed to say to a man who had helped make the hardest decision in her life? How was she supposed to work next to David and never mention that time in her life when just looking at him brought back such difficult memories for her?
There had been days she had wished she had died in the car crash along with Kolton and Cody, but then she would think of that young father who’d been so desperate for a heart for his son.
Later, when she realized she wanted to do more to help families like that young man’s, it had taken only one trip through the pediatric cardiac unit for her to know this was where she was needed, where she could help the critical children that waited for a new life with their families. She’d finished her nurse practitioner program and found a place in Dr. Benton’s practice. And now the man who had influenced her life so much was here on her unit.
And what about his son, Davey? She’d always imagined that it had been her son who had saved the son of the man in the waiting room. Knowing that David’s son had received a heart transplant back then made the possibility feel only more real. Now she had been given an opportunity to find out if she had been right all along.
As the rest of the staff started to disburse back to their patients, she pulled herself into the present only to find that some of the younger nurses were giving the new doctor more than just a friendly smile. Not that she could blame them for their interest. Dr. David Wright was a very good-looking man with his dark brown hair curling around his face, those striking eyes, and a smile full of laughter as he talked to Mel.
But there was more to the man than his looks. She had immediately recognized that when she had first seen him. He had a strong, competent look to him that had quickly put the patients and their families at ease. And she remembered the way he had dealt with the news that there might be a last hope for his son. The anguish in his face had matched hers as she’d mourned the loss of hope for her own. He’d openly shed tears at the news that his son might be getting a new heart and still the man hadn’t appeared weak.
Mentally shaking herself, she forced herself to put the old memories behind her again. It was not going to be easy to keep those memories away with David here, but she had to remember that it was the here and now that was important. Her past life was over, and she had patients that relied on her now. These were the children she was responsible for now. Later, when she could be alone, she’d take the time to deal with all of this and what it could mean for her.
She watched as Dr. Benton walked down the hall toward them and then as he and David walked away together. She had so many questions that she was desperate to find a way to ask, to tell him to wait so that she could ask the one question that was circling around and around in her head. It was a question that at some point she would have to ask, but it would have to wait.
Is the heart of my little boy, my Cody, beating in your son’s chest?
CHAPTER TWO
DAVID PUT ONE of the cups of coffee he’d purchased at the trendy café across from the hospital on the desk in front of Sarah.
“What’s this for?” Sarah asked as she looked up at him, those deep brown eyes questioning. It was a look he’d seen a lot lately when she looked at him. It was as if that intelligent mind of hers was trying to solve a complex puzzle, and for some reason he had a feeling that he was that puzzle.
“It’s to say thank you. If it wasn’t for you I’d have been buried in all this paperwork. I knew there was a lot of paperwork involved with the assessments for the transplant patients, but I never imagined that there would be this much,” he said.
“Really? I guess I assumed that because you had been through this firsthand that you’d know all about the mountains of paperwork,” Sarah said. And there was that look again.
Was that what she was curious about? It wasn’t that he didn’t understand why she would be curious about what he had gone through. After working with her for the last week, he had quickly discovered that she had a very inquiring mind, and with working on one side of the transplant process it was only normal for her to want to know what it was like on the other side.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Sarah said, then looked back to the computer screen in front of her, her golden-tan cheeks turning a pretty pink with a blush that he found surprisingly charming. The Sarah that he had been working with didn’t seem like the type of woman that would be so easily embarrassed, but there was always more to a person that what you first saw. If anyone should know that, he should. He’d thought he had known his ex-wife until their son had been born and everything in their life had changed.
“It’s okay, Sarah. I don’t mind talking about it, most parts at least,” he said, then regretted that he had added the afterthought. He had no reason to think that any of her questions would deal with the breakup of his marriage.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I’m sure,” David said.
He took his chair next to her and waited. It was almost as if he could see the gears in her mind turning as she seemed to struggle with her question.
“What was wrong with Davey? Why did he need the transplant?” Sarah asked.
“Davey was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart syndrome not long after he was born. It hadn’t been caught on ultrasound so it was a shock. There were a lot of surgeries before it was decided that a transplan
t would be necessary. There wasn’t anything else they could do for him.”
“I’m sorry. That had to be hard for you and your wife.”
Deep brown eyes seemed to bore into his, or was it just that he felt uncomfortable discussing the situation with his ex-wife with Sarah?
“And he’s okay now?” Sarah asked.
“He’s great. He’s done a lot of growing in the last three years. I keep a close watch on him and he still has a lot of follow-up testing that’s necessary, but so far he’s not shown any signs of rejection over the past three years.”
David watched her as Sarah bit down on her lip, an act that caught way too much of his attention.
“Can I ask you one more question?” she asked.
“Sure,” David said as he forced his eyes away from lips that looked way too dangerous right then.
“What did it feel like when you learned that there was a heart available for your son?” she asked, her eyes never wavering from his.
This was not the question he had expected. He had thought maybe she would want to know about the impact that a sick child had on someone’s life or how he had gotten through the awful waiting period. But this? That moment had to have been the most emotional moment of his life. How did you explain the feeling of being lifted from a pit of despair and given the chance of a new life?
“It’s hard to explain,” he said, not knowing where to start. Though it might seem like an easy question to answer to Sarah, it was far from it. Someone would have to understand where Davey was in his life at that time. “Davey had so many surgeries before he was finally put on the transplant list. With each surgery, I kept thinking this will be the last one. But it never was, and when he was almost two it was determined that the only thing that would save him would be a transplant. I knew the odds that he would receive one in time were against us. By the time I brought Davey here, his heart was failing and we were getting to the point where I was going to have to make some hard decisions on his care. I’d almost given up. I had walked out into the waiting room knowing that if there wasn’t a miracle I would lose my little boy within the next few days. Then one of the organ procurement staff found me and told me that there was a good chance that Davey would be getting a heart very soon. Learning that there was a heart available for my son was the happiest moment of my life. I don’t have another experience to compare it to. To have that hope of a future for your child when you are at the point of giving up is unimaginable. It was like going from the lowest point in your life to the happiest in two point five seconds and not knowing if you should laugh or cry.”
Sarah and the Single Dad Page 2