“Sometimes a fight is the only way to dig out what’s wrong.”
He really couldn’t argue since the tactic had worked. Dez was a physical being, always had been, and did everything to the hilt. Including arguing. “You could medal in provoking a man.”
“Lots of practice.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “People who keep it bottled up have to let it out sometimes, and those are the ones who inflict the most damage. I don’t trust anyone who won’t engage in a good verbal battle.”
“Your father?”
She shrugged. “No one knew what he was like. He waited until we were behind closed doors. God forbid you express an opinion or disagree with his. I learned to keep it to myself. It took months of living with Aunt Peg before I trusted her enough to lose my temper. I flipped out on her, and she just took it. Stood across the kitchen and nodded until I was finished. I don’t know what I expected—”
“You expected her to hit you,” Mick guessed.
She turned to stare at the digital clock. “I seriously underestimated Aunt Peg. That day, she wrapped me up—I was so mad I wanted to hit something—but she whispered she loved me. Just like that. After all the vile things I’d said to her, she said she loved me.” A hiccup of breath and pain shook her chest. “Whatever I expected, that wasn’t it. After that, she wouldn’t settle for half-truths. We didn’t hide anything from each other—although I didn’t know about the sheriff if they were a thing back then. Anyway, she taught me to say what I was thinking.”
Dez definitely took after her aunt, although Peg was less shielded than Dez. Even if Dez wore her attitude on her sleeve, her heart wasn’t ever going to get hurt. She had armor in place to protect and preserve. He respected that about her. “Which is why I couldn’t take your sulking.”
Mick tilted her face. “You think I was sulking?”
A real smile lit her eyes. “In a manly way, of course. But we don’t have the time or the space for you to work it out on your own. We had to get to what was wrong, or we’d end up killing each other.”
Mick liked working things out on his own, but her way was nearly as effective and took less time. With sex as an added bonus. “What exactly do you think is wrong?”
She rubbed the edges of his bandage as she worked out her thoughts. “You’re feeling trapped, and I’m not talking about the snow.”
Mick nodded his agreement. She knew him. He didn’t know if that was a plus or a minus. “You, plus the kid—”
“I get it—the built-in family—but no one is putting pressure on you. You’re doing that all on your own. We’re protecting the kid, just like last week Blake was protecting Vicki. It’s what we do. A part of what we do.”
He stretched a leg, rubbing his thigh against her mound. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And you think I’ll get attached?” Her eyes shuttered, but not before he saw the flash of pain. “Mick, I know you, maybe better than you know yourself. I’m not dreaming of a house in the ’burbs or designing matching tattoos we’ll have to laser off before next Christmas. We’re riding a wave, and when the wave crests, we get off. Go back to things as usual.”
The words stabbed him. Did he want things as usual? Why did hearing the excuse he’d spoken a dozen times—he was short term—ram a fist into his gut? He continued to stroke his knuckle over her bare skin, teasing the flesh just under her breast. “You okay with that?”
“When have you known me to get attached?”
Never. She rarely dated, never kept the same guy hanging around. It was like she was the female version of Mick. Solitary. He should be relieved, but his gut twisted with regret, with what might have been.
If he were a different man, Dez would be the type of woman he’d want. Sarcastic and tough, she could take down a man twice her size without breaking a sweat. She didn’t have trouble busting his balls when he fucked up, and she didn’t take his moods personally. Added to it, she was smart and sneaky and didn’t have trouble bending the rules to get the job done, despite what he’d said to her earlier. He knew she didn’t look at good and bad as black and white. She wanted to nail Sully as much as he did.
Plus, she looked damn good doing it. She was sexy, with soft skin and expressive eyes, but she didn’t let it make her weak. And she knew him to his soul. When had she gotten through? She knew he didn’t want forever and her defensive nature would prevent her from emotional attachment. She’d protect herself because that’s what she’d done most of her life. She’d defended herself from a father, from Derek the dirtbag, and now from Mick. Fuck. The woman deserved better than his cold, distant shit, but her barriers would keep her safe. He was banking on it. “So you’re not looking for commitment?”
She glared at him with a look that called him an idiot. “You don’t do commitment. I know that.”
A foreign hurt welled up inside. She wasn’t interested in more than sex. He wasn’t someone she’d get serious about in the first place. It was pride, nothing more, so he shoved it down. Concentrated on the feel of her silky skin.
“I’m about done with your insecurities.” She pushed up to get away from him.
Mick pushed her back down. “We’re done. With that.” He shifted his movements, running his knuckle up the swell of her breast to circle a nipple. “One more thing.”
Her heavy lidded eyes looked over at him. Her red lips were still plump from his kisses and her face was still flushed. God, she was sexy. “Don’t pick a fight with me again.”
She laughed deep in her throat, a sexy, challenging sound. “It worked.”
He bent to take her hard nipple into his mouth. “Wrong answer.”
“Get over it.”
“Definitely the wrong answer,” he said. But there was more than one way to get her to submit to his wishes. Trapping her under his weight, he manacled her hands. “Let’s try this again.”
…
Dez woke to an empty bed. Again. She sighed. Mick wasn’t a “stay all night and cook breakfast in the morning” kind of guy. Frustrating, but she’d be an idiot to expect any different. So she got up and showered. Mick had stayed ’til first light, which was a stretch for him, so it wasn’t a surprise when he wasn’t downstairs. He’d shoveled a path from the street to his truck, which was gone.
It didn’t take three guesses to figure out where he was. Idiot. He’d gone to the airfield. She sent a quick text.
Loser. You get caught and I don’t know you.
Be hard to deny me when my bite mark is on your ass.
Impossible to prove it’s yours.
Dez rubbed her backside. Had he really left a mark?
Forensics could take a dental impression. You’re a marked woman.
If my ass is Exhibit A, I’ll kill you before you get to trial.
The winking emoji shouldn’t have made her laugh just like wearing his mark shouldn’t make her heart go pitter-pat. Too bad, really, that she hadn’t kept her heart out of it, but she’d deal with the fallout when the mission was over. Maybe she’d take a vacation. She’d had enough snow for a lifetime, so probably somewhere warm. She was making waffles when Nate came traipsing downstairs in his pajamas.
“Can we go sledding?” His eyes were tired and rimmed with sadness. He wasn’t sleeping well, and he hadn’t eaten much, either. The loss and the pain he was hiding broke her heart a little. Sully would pay for stealing this boy’s family.
“Tell you what. If you eat a good breakfast, I’ll dig out my old sled. There’s a great sledding hill two blocks down.” Close enough they could walk, so they didn’t need to wait for Mick’s truck.
Nate ate two waffles before running upstairs to dress. Peg’s coat closet was an explosion of winter gear. The little cubbies looked like she never threw anything out. They yanked out coats and hats and a pair of Dez’s old snow pants from when she was a teen. Navy blue, a long pink strip climbed the side. Man, she’d thought she was cool. That was before the baby bump started to show.
Nate tried them on,
and they buried his stocking feet. “The pink stripe is definitely girly, but they’re warm. You can keep the pink, or I can run a strip of Duct Tape down the side to cover it.”
“Duct Tape?” His nose scrunched.
“Too ghetto?”
He nodded.
“Pink it is. Slip on those boots, and we’ll try to shorten them for you.” Using bungee cords, she rolled the pants up tight so snow couldn’t seep through. First rule of sledding: keep the snow out and the heat in. She rolled a layer of the ski pants over the cord so he didn’t look like a complete spaz, then she sent a quick text to Mick.
Sledding. Losers not invited.
With a smile, she tucked her phone into a zipped pocket and headed into the cold. A snowplow lumbered down the street, scraping snow and burying the car across the way. Dez and Nate walked into the wind, white stuff hitting their faces like a sandblaster. Few people had been out to shovel yet, but the closer they got to the park, the more footprints marked the route to the sledding hill behind the elementary school. Looked like a snow day for the local kids. They heard shouts and children laughing before they saw them.
Nate looked through the narrow gap between his red watch cap and his scarf. “Can I?”
She nodded, and he raced to the hill carrying a round plastic sled. He’d made two runs before Dez trekked through the snow to the top of the hill. A dozen kids lined the top of the hill bundled much like Nate. There were old sleds with runners, one that looked like a penguin, and several plastic sleds in various shapes and sizes.
“Go with me?” Nate asked when he reached her. The scarf had fallen low, and his cheeks were red and chapped. A wary look of hope crossed his innocent features. The boy was hungry for connection, and she could no more refuse him than she could walk away from Mick. She hadn’t been sledding in years. Dez reset the scarf.
“Sure.” She sat on the disk and dug her heels into the snow to keep from sliding too soon. She opened her arms to pull Nate close. The second she lifted her feet they sprinted down the hill. Wind whipped past, bringing tears to her eyes. They hit a bump and went sailing through the air. Her heart jumped before they landed in a drift at the bottom of the run.
Nate laughed, a pure childlike giggle. “Did you see that?”
Her laughter joined his. “That was amazing.”
“We went faster with two of us,” he said, his words running together. “Let’s go again.”
They climbed the hill, following a trail off to the side. They made another three trips before landing in the drift again. Snow whooshed under her coat, getting trapped next to bare skin. Ice coated the bottom of her jeans and seeped through to her calves. The gun she had in her ankle holster was like an ice cube next to her skin. She was freezing, but Nate just laughed and ran uphill.
“One more,” she yelled after him.
He waved and made the climb look easy. She stamped her feet to shake the ice and snow loose, then shimmied to get the snow out of her coat. One of the parents at the bottom gave her a wave, but she couldn’t tell who it was bundled behind so many layers. She stepped close enough to recognize Lily the waitress under a black and red scarf. That was close enough. The woman had stirred up enough trouble. Dez waved back and went to climb the hill after Nate.
Nate wasn’t there.
Dez’s heart stopped. She ran her gaze across the line of kids at the top but didn’t see the strip of pink from his ski pants. He really wasn’t there. Had he already made a run? Three kids went screaming down the hill, laughing and bumping into each other. Several adults lined the bottom, but Nate and his red watch cap were nowhere to be seen.
Her heart restarted, galloping painfully in her chest. It hurt worse than taking a punch. Worse than a bullet. “Nathan. Nate,” she yelled, heard the panic in her shaky voice.
She did a three-sixty turn, head spinning, looking for Nate, but she couldn’t find him. The packed snow sent her crashing to the cold, hard ground. She stood up and climbed to the top while digging her boots into the snow to keep from sliding back down. She ran across the line of kids, but Nate wasn’t there. When she reached the far side, she saw another row of kids around the corner behind a tree. There, at the bottom of another long run, was Nate’s red watch cap. Was it really him? She took a closer look. Saw the pink strip down the side.
She leaned against the tree, her heart pounding and blood rushing through her ears. God, she’d nearly lost him. Stupid, stupid, stupid, to let him out of her sight. Stupid even to come out where anyone could grab him. She kicked her boot against the tree. What if Wayne was here? Or Derek? Derek could very well think Nate was his. And Wayne? Why had she taken the risk? Wayne was a psycho.
Was she playing house, like Mick had said? Was she trying to make up for lost time with the son she’d given away? No more. She couldn’t expose Nate to unnecessary danger. Nate made it to the top, his face alight with laughter. His cheeks had gone bright red.
Dez’s hands shook as she rewrapped the scarf to cover his innocent cheeks. “You shouldn’t run off where I can’t see you.”
Nate’s smile fell at her harsh tone.
My fault, my fault, don’t panic the kid. “Sorry. I couldn’t see you. Freaked me out.”
He kicked snow. “Sorry. You thought someone kidnapped me.”
Damn it. She’d brought the sadness back to his face. If she had any delusions about making up for lost time, this was proof positive she wasn’t meant to be a mother. “No, that’s not it. I wanted to make your last run with you, and you went without me.”
“Really?” The hope in his voice slayed her. “We could go again.”
The panic still rushing through her veins wanted to run and hide, but they were already out in the snow. What damage would one more trip do? She bundled them up as she had before. This hill was faster yet, and longer. No wonder the kid had moved over here. They coasted to a stop without hitting another drift. “One more,” he begged, his eyes alight.
The look defeated her. As long as she stayed with him they’d be fine. She’d give him this little bit of fun, because his current life situation sucked. He deserved a moment of normal childhood. On the way back to Peg’s, they walked the center of the street where the snowplow had scraped the top layer clear. It made for an easier trek. Dez paid closer attention to her surroundings. Cop first. She’d lost her focus, and that couldn’t happen again. Nate’s safety came first. She made Nate show her the way, so she was sure he knew how to find the house.
A few homeowners were out shoveling snow. They waved when Dez and Nate walked past. They passed the sheriff’s house, and she pointed it out. This was where Nate was to run if things went south, although the sheriff’s SUV was gone. Probably several accidents on the highway. Had they opened it yet this morning? Peg’s SUV was parked in the sheriff’s cleared driveway, her windshield scraped clean. Dez’s heart warmed at that. The sheriff watched out for her aunt.
Another block and the tips of Dez’s fingers tingled with cold because her gloves had gotten wet. She glanced down at Nate. “You warm enough?”
He nodded, said something that was muffled in his scarf. They made it the next block in silence. When they approached the house, a newer looking Jeep was parked in the cleared space where Mick’s truck had been. The plates were covered in mud, pretty damn convenient if someone didn’t want to be identified. Dez’s breath froze in her throat.
Who was in that car?
Chapter Fifteen
The road to the airfield was already plowed. Strange, considering the rest of town had yet to dig out from the blizzard. The chains the sheriff had insisted Mick put on the tires clanked against the cleared asphalt. Snow chains were a necessity at this altitude in the winter. They’d gotten Mick through the worst of the snow in town but weren’t necessary here. The closer he got, the more the sound of clanking chains jangled his nerves.
The airfield stretched like a black river in a white field as he descended the last rise. A plow on the far end of the strip made another pas
s over the tarmac. Someone was actively clearing the runway; had already cleared the road to and from. Why clear the airfield on the off chance someone wanted to fly up for an impromptu weekend? He didn’t buy it. The airfield manager had already warned incoming traffic that the airport was closed. Mick came to a stop at a turnout and watched the plow make a final pass. The buildings were occupied, which meant he couldn’t go through their records today. The little airfield was ripe for corruption and drug trafficking. He wouldn’t ignore that on a bad day, but add in the possibility that Patrick Sullivan was involved, and Mick would shut it down.
He turned the truck back to town. If drugs were coming in through the airfield as he suspected, where did they originate? At any point was Sully actively involved or did he send underlings? Even if drugs were coming in, nothing said it had to be Sully involved in the operation. Wayne’s presence didn’t necessarily mean there was a connection. Like Dez said, Mick had jumped to some pretty serious conclusions with no evidence.
His gut tightened. There was a fucking connection. He smacked the steering wheel. This was the perfect set up to trap Sully. At the edge of town, the clear roads ended. The tires spun when Mick hit the first large drift. The chains bit into the snowpack and kept the truck headed straight ahead. If he didn’t have the chains, he’d be in the ditch right now. He’d never seen this much freaking snow. Wasn’t anyone or anything getting in and out for a long while.
His shoulders ached from the pressure of gripping the wheel. He needed time to think. Time to plan his approach with Dez. He’d screwed up last night and didn’t want to repeat the same mistake. The important thing was letting her know he didn’t want to use the kid. She was right to protect Nate and right about Tommy.
Unstoppable (The Untouchable Series) Page 13