by Anne Herries
‘It was not truly your fault, for I sneaked out to join you...’
‘But I had dared you to...do you not recall?’
‘Ah, yes...’ Lucy laughed. She felt a surge of happiness, for this was the first time they had talked properly since he returned. ‘We had such fun, all...three of us.’
‘Yes, we did,’ Paul replied and for a moment the smile died from his eyes. ‘I worshipped him, Lucy, as I know you did.’
‘Yes...’ She could not take her eyes from the road. ‘He was a hero, Paul...larger than life and that was before he won honours on the battlefield.’
‘Yes, he was always the golden one,’ Paul said and a soft laugh escaped him. ‘I do not know why, but I can think of him now and remember the good times...it no longer hurts as desperately as it did.’
‘I know,’ Lucy agreed, a little nerve flicking in her throat. She, too, had felt the ice that had formed about her heart begin to melt away since her homecoming. ‘We all loved him, Paul, but we cannot grieve for ever. Mark would not wish us to.’
‘He would think it ridiculous,’ Paul said, a harsh choking sound in his throat. ‘He told me once that if he should die I was to mourn him for a week and then get on with my life.’
‘Yes, I imagine he would say that,’ Lucy said. ‘I think it was the manner of his death...so cruel when he had returned from the war unscathed.’
‘Yes, that seemed most unfair,’ Paul agreed. He glanced at her and for a brief second she met his eyes, but could not read their message. ‘Are you tired? Let me take the reins again. You have done well, but these horses are strong and take some holding.’
‘I am not tired,’ Lucy said, but relinquished the reins into his hands. She wanted to look at his profile, which she could not while driving the pair. ‘I think they are fine horses, Paul—but less used to the touch of a lady’s hand than Judith’s team.’
‘I dare say, for they have not been used to it, but they will learn—if you will allow me to take you driving sometimes?’
‘Oh, yes, when I can, thank you,’ she said and her heart caught as she saw the little nerve flicking at his temple. ‘We go down to Bath at the end of next week, you know.’
‘Ah, then I must wait until you return, for I may not be able to come often in the next few days.’
‘Oh...’ Lucy felt a pang of disappointment, for she had thought they were progressing so well.
‘I have business for the estate. I have set some improvements in hand and they may keep me busy for a time, but I shall come one morning if I can...perhaps on Sunday, after you return from church?’
‘You must stay for nuncheon, then, and we might drive in the afternoon,’ Lucy said. ‘I shall see you tomorrow, of course.’
‘Yes...’ He looked thoughtful. ‘Perhaps you will be engaged when you return from Bath.’
Lucy’s heart drummed, the sound filling her ears as she said with a laugh, ‘You are thinking of what Judith said...it was mere nonsense. She likes to tease.’
How could he think she wished to marry anyone else?
‘Yes, she is a clever and beautiful woman, full of vitality and life.’
‘She is,’ Lucy agreed, feeling a pang of what she suspected might be jealousy, and a most unworthy sentiment. ‘I dare say she may find a husband, for it is what she wants...a companion who will take her travelling and indulge her whims.’
‘I imagine any man would be happy to indulge a woman like Lady Sparrow.’ His tone was casual, but his words had more force than if he had shouted them, for they showed how deep was his admiration for her cousin.
‘Yes, of course.’
Lucy felt her throat catch and the tears were close, though she fought them back. Such praise from Paul for her cousin hurt her, though she agreed with every word. Judith was beautiful, bold and magnificent. Lucy already knew that she drew gentlemen to her like a moth to a flame, for Charles Benson was not the only gentleman to call at Dawlish in the hope of seeing her.
* * *
As they arrived at the courtyard at the back of Dawlish House, Lucy noticed that a travelling chaise had pulled up. She saw a figure get down and turn to look at her. It was the Earl of Daventry and he was smiling in a way that told her he was very pleased to see her. He came forward to help her down, before Paul could give the reins to his horses and do so himself.
‘Miss Lucy, I am charmed to see you,’ he said. ‘I had hoped to return before this, but was unable to do so, yet I was determined not to miss your dance—and here you see me.’
‘Lord Daventry, I am delighted to see you,’ Lucy said and gave him her hand to kiss. ‘Captain Ravenscar has been giving me a driving lesson—but I am glad we were back in time to greet you.’
In the flurry of greetings, she felt that she had left things unspoken and would have wished to take a private leave of Paul, for she needed to be certain that she had not read more into his words of praise for Judith than was intended. However, Daventry was determined to claim her attention for himself.
‘I wrote, but perhaps my letter did not arrive, for I was not sure until the day before yesterday what day I should come. I can stay at the inn, for I would not wish to put your dear mama to any trouble.’
‘Your room is prepared, for you were expected any day,’ Lucy said, smiling at him. She turned to Paul, her brows raised. He had not dismounted and was looking at her oddly. She felt that he disapproved of her greeting the earl in such a friendly fashion. ‘Will you come in and take luncheon with us, sir?’
‘I thank you, Miss Dawlish,’ Paul replied and the distant look she dreaded was back in his eyes. ‘I am expected at home. I shall see you tomorrow—your servant, Daventry.’
‘I hope all is well with you, sir—your father?’ the earl enquired.
‘As well as can be hoped for,’ Paul replied, inclining his head in a cool nod. ‘Good day to you, sir...Miss Dawlish...’
The exchange between them had been friendly enough, but Lucy sensed an undercurrent—of dislike, she thought. They were both gentlemen, but they certainly had no liking for each other.
Lucy’s heart sank as she watched Paul drive away, his groom beside him. For a time that morning she had thought they were back on their old footing, but now it seemed that the barrier was in place once more. She felt hurt by his coldness. Why was he angry—and if he disliked the earl’s attention to her, why had he not stayed to luncheon and paid her some attention himself?
Surely Paul was not jealous of the earl? No, he had no reason to be.
Her throat caught as she recalled their conversation concerning her cousin. Paul clearly admired Judith very much. He had acknowledged his long-standing friendship with Lucy, but it seemed he saw her as just a friend. It was Judith that had aroused warmer feelings in his heart.
He might have stayed if Judith had asked.
Forcing the slashing pain to a distant corner of her heart, Lucy took the earl’s arm and walked into the house with him. He was as charming as always and very attentive. She had thought he might have forgotten her, but his absence was soon explained; a cousin had died after he left them and he had been busy seeing to family affairs.
‘I was determined to put it all to rest before I came here,’ he said. ‘I am now at your disposal, Miss Lucy. I hope that we shall become good friends in the next few days...or weeks.’
‘We go down to Bath at the end of next week, sir.’
‘Ah, yes, I seem to recall that I have reason to visit that excellent place.’ George smiled down at her. His eyes seemed to caress her and she felt some of her hurt melt in the warmth of his smile. ‘You see, Miss Lucy, I am determined not to be parted from you again too soon.’
Lucy laughed, letting go of his arm to walk ahead as the butler relieved the earl of his hat, gloves and capped greatcoat. His banter was just foolishness, but it was pleas
ant after the coldness she’d seen in Paul’s eyes before he drove away. She gave her mind to making her guest welcome and put away all thought of the man who had been entertaining her all morning.
How could he remind her of their childhood friendship, laughing as if he had not a care in the world—and then revert to the cold, reserved man she’d first seen at Ravenscar after he came home?
What had changed him so swiftly?
Her mother had just come into the hall to greet their visitor. Lucy went on into the parlour where she found Judith sitting perusing a magazine for ladies. It had been delivered to her with some letters forwarded from London and she had her writing case on the small mahogany wine table beside her.
‘Did you enjoy your drive?’ Judith asked. ‘How fortunate that you were not out with me, Lucy.’
‘Captain Ravenscar enquired after you,’ Lucy said. ‘I believe it was you he came to ask, but finding me alone took pity on me.’
Judith’s eyes sparkled. ‘I hope he allowed you to drive his horses?’
‘Yes, for a time. They are very strong and more restive than yours.’
‘My darlings are well trained, but can be restive if they do not get enough exercise,’ she said. ‘Captain Ravenscar rides more often than he drives, I think.’
‘Perhaps,’ Lucy said. ‘He is to come to the dance tomorrow...and we have a visitor.’
Judith arched her brows in question, but before Lucy could answer her mother came into the room with the earl behind her.
‘Judith my dear,’ she said with a smile. ‘May I present you to our guest the...the Earl of Daventry.’
Lucy was looking at her cousin and saw that her face was very pale as she rose to her feet and made a slight curtsy.
‘Sir...’ she murmured.
‘Lady Sparrow,’ George Daventry said and his eyes narrowed. ‘No need for introductions, Lady Dawlish. Lady Sparrow and I met years ago...before her marriage to Sir Michael.’
‘We met briefly,’ Judith said. ‘In the country, I think, sir. I trust you are well?’
Judith had recovered herself, but Lucy noticed that her mouth had thinned and one hand clenched at her side.
‘Oh, come,’ George said with his charming smile. ‘It was a little more than that, I believe...but we shall say no more since you have forgot me. I dare say you had more important things to think of.’
Judith inclined her head, but did not speak. Lucy had the distinct suspicion that she was either nervous or very angry.
* * *
Paul gave his horses into the care of his groom before dismounting in the courtyard. He had driven all the way home in silence and merely nodded to the man as he strode into the house. His mood had descended on him as he witnessed the delight with which Lucy Dawlish had greeted the Earl of Daventry.
Damn the fellow for intruding where he was not wanted! Paul had believed that she had opened herself to him as they drove. In recalling their childhood misdemeanours the barriers had tumbled for a time. He had even thought for one moment as she looked at him that she might have stronger feelings towards him than mere friendship...but then something had happened and she had withdrawn again.
What had he said? He could not for the life of him think of anything that should have upset her.
And then she’d been in raptures when that damned fellow turned up!
Paul ground his teeth as he walked up the stairs to change. Women were a mystery. He was damned if he understood them...and at the moment, he wasn’t sure he wished to!
* * *
Yet, later, when he was in bed and sleep did not come, he could not help remembering how pleasant their ride had been. For a short time it had been as if nothing had ever happened to spoil their friendship. Perhaps it could be that way again, if he could put his guilt and sorrow behind him.
Chapter Six
‘Do you have reason to dislike the earl?’ Lucy asked her cousin later that evening when they were alone for a few moments.
‘I do not dislike him,’ Judith replied calmly, though there was a little pulse beating at her temple. ‘What made you think it?’
‘Oh...it was just a look in your eyes when he entered the parlour and...and I thought you were angry?’
Judith paused, then, ‘Before Daventry inherited his uncle’s title he visited us often at home. His father’s small estate was close to ours. At one time he paid me some attention but...we had a disagreement and he left the area. I had not seen him since then and feared there might be some awkwardness, but there was not and so it is all very well.’
Lucy looked at her doubtfully. ‘I am sorry if his being here makes you uncomfortable, Judith.’
She laughed and shook her head. ‘Not at all, Lucy. Daventry is interested only in you and will not bother me at all...unless he means you harm, in which case he may find I have something to say.’
Lucy was astonished. ‘Means me harm, Cousin? What harm could he possibly mean?’
‘None, I dare say,’ Judith replied, but her expression was serious. ‘He is a rake, Lucy. You must have realised that he flirts outrageously with all the ladies...and I believe he has had a great many affairs of a clandestine nature.’
‘Yes, I can well imagine a gentleman of his address...’ Lucy’s cheeks, burned for it was a delicate subject. ‘But you could not imagine... He would not try to seduce me, I think.’
‘No, no, he dare not,’ Judith agreed quickly. ‘You have family to protect you and he would not think of it... It was only that I thought he might trifle with your affections and break your heart.’
‘He may attempt it if he wishes,’ Lucy said and smiled. ‘I like him well enough and if he were to make me an offer...well, I suppose he would do as well as any other. They do say that a reformed rake makes a good husband, I believe.’
‘Yes, I’ve heard it said, if his heart is engaged. I merely thought to warn you, Cousin, but I see I need not have troubled.’
‘I do not think I am in danger of having my heart broken,’ Lucy assured her. ‘As yet I have not made up my mind to marry...but we must see what the future brings.’
‘Yes, indeed.’ Judith nodded her agreement. ‘In Bath I dare say we shall both find we have a surfeit of suitors. I have received an offer of marriage since I came to stay with you, but I shall not take it—I do not care to be nursemaid to Major Barton’s brood of five noisy children...’
‘Oh, has he asked you?’ Lucy said and laughed softly. ‘I vow I pity him for he has asked most of the single ladies in the district. He is desperate to find a mother for his children and I fear no one will have him.’
‘Then he must employ nursemaids and a housekeeper.’
‘He already has several nursemaids and a housekeeper, but still his children run wild,’ Lucy said. ‘He hopes that a new mother would content his unruly brood, but I fear she would have to have nerves of steel.’
‘They would not bother me if I found the father attractive,’ Judith replied with a twist of her mouth. ‘But I look higher—and I want, if not love, at least mutual affection.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Lucy agreed with her. ‘Marriage would not be comfortable if one did not at least like one’s husband.’
Yet many young girls of their class had no say in the matter, for their marriage was arranged for them, sometimes without their consent. Lucy knew that she was fortunate in having parents who would not dream of forcing her into marriage, though they hoped for it, of course.
The cousins parted in mutual agreement and it was not until Lucy was in bed that she wondered at some of Judith’s remarks concerning the earl. Had Daventry trifled with her and then broken her heart? Judith had not said as much, but she would not have warned Lucy had she not thought him a little dangerous.
If she imagined that such remarks would daunt Lucy, she was mistak
en. It had done Daventry no harm in Lucy’s eyes to know that he was a rake, for she had suspected it from the start. She felt herself in no danger of being seduced. Indeed, had a certain gentleman given her reason to hope, she would not even consider the earl as a possible husband. However, Paul seemed as if he had forgotten he ever cared for her—and Lucy had begun to doubt her memory. Perhaps she had made too much of the looks Paul had given her, the touch of his hand at her waist as they waltzed and his breath against her hair when he’d held her too long after helping her to dismount from her horse.
These things had set her flesh tingling and made her feel so vital, so alive, and she’d believed that he cared for her deeply, even though he had not spoken. Yet how could he when he believed her to love his brother?
Had she imagined that emotional farewell before Paul left her to travel to Italy and then to Vienna? Lucy thought they had parted with hope of something more than friendship in the future—but, again, perhaps she had read too much into his words? Perhaps he’d seen her feelings too plainly and, not returning them, had decided to stay away in the hope that she would marry elsewhere.
This last thought caused her cheeks to burn, because she was afraid it might be the case. She had imagined that Paul returned her feelings, but she had deceived herself. Oh, how foolish! How foolish!
It was so embarrassing. For a few moments Lucy felt as if she wanted to sink through the floor. How could she have been so mistaken? It was humiliating for her to think that Paul had believed she was throwing her cap at him. She saw it must have been in his mind, for why else had he warned her that he was interested in her cousin rather than herself?
His praise for Judith had been warm indeed. Indeed, he was quite possibly falling in love with her.
Lucy welled up with a mixture of conflicting emotions. She had longed for Paul to come to her in Italy, but believed it was his grief for Mark that had kept him away. Now her eyes were opened and she realised that she had been a complete fool. Paul had merely been flirting a little with his brother’s wife-to-be. He had never loved her. Indeed, if he admired anyone it was Judith.