by Riana Lucas
I open my eyes and turn to look at him. He is still looking out into the forest, focused on the past and not the present. “And she did, too,” I say softly.
He nods his agreement.
“Have you been watching him all along, or did you only start again when he came to Faery Land?”
His eyes blink a few times, his chest heaving as he takes a few deep breaths before he turns to look at me. Focused once again, his eyes and his voice are now tinged with great sadness as he speaks. “I have shimmered to the human world a few times to check on them, but I’ve made sure to keep my distance. It wasn’t until I felt his presence here that I started watching both of you more closely. It took me a while to find you at first. I kept losing him.” His brow crinkles, and he shakes his head in confusion as if he is trying to figure out why he could not find him.
“That is probably because he was in the Unseelie dungeon for the first few days he was in Faery Land.” A shiver racks my body at the memory of finding him and Rho there.
Rowan jerks his body up from the tree and swings around to face me. “What?” His voice rises in anger and shock.
“I am so sorry, it was all my fault. I was to bring him back to the Unseelie Court. That was my job. I did not know any different. Then when we were on our way, there were so many problems. Holly was hunting us, and the Seelie queen wanted me, and I did not know she was my mother. Then Damien came and I thought it was to help, but he just grabbed Reed and took him back to the Unseelie Court. Then Holly almost killed me, but they saved me and I found out who I really was. Then I had these dreams where Reed was calling for help, and I figured out where they were and I rescued them. But then Rho sacrificed herself and killed King Foxglove. I am so sorry.” I had been rambling so fast I am not sure Rowan even heard half of what I said, but on the last part I slowed down and had to choke the words out past a sob. Just barely holding it together, I turn away from Rowan with the ruse of regaining my composure, but really to avoid the anger I will see in his eyes. Because of me, Rho is dead and his son could have been killed.
Rowan is still leaning forward, looking at me. I can feel his eyes burning into my back. He lets out a deep breath before placing his hand on my shoulder. I flinch at the contact but do not pull away or look back at him.
“That was quite a story.” He pauses, probably waiting for me to turn, but still I do not. “Child, you did nothing wrong. You know only what you have been taught and couldn’t have known about your true identity if they kept it from you your entire life. And you grew up in the Unseelie Court, raised and trained to follow their ways and your king’s orders. That does not make you like them, and it is not your fault. You did the right thing in the end by rescuing your friends and ensuring their safety. The responsibility of your friend’s death does not fall on your shoulders either. She made a great sacrifice for you, and it would dishonor her to think of her as anything other than a hero.”
I finally turn to look at him, not understanding his soft words or the sympathy in his voice. “But I am like them. I am just as much Unseelie as I am Seelie. The king was my father. Part of me is them.”
“No, that is untrue. What you are is what is inside. Whether you are Seelie, Unseelie, or…” He hesitates for just a second. “Or Unclaimed, you still have a choice. You chose to be a good Fae, a warrior who protects her people and her friends. You are loyal, honest, and fair. That is who you are, Poppy.”
“How can you not blame me? It is my fault your son was almost killed. If I had not tried to bring him back here, he would have never been placed in that dungeon. Rho would still be alive.”
He pulls his hand away from my shoulder and settles back against the tree once more. I do the same, turning my head to look at him as he talks. “First of all, what right do I have to judge you? It is not like you had a choice, is it? If you had not gone on that mission, you would have been punished by your king. Besides that, think about the other things that would not have happened had you not done as you were ordered. You would have never met my son.” He breathes the words much softer as if savoring them. “We would never have met and you would never have met your mother. And although I am sure you are not too happy about it, you would not know who your father was either. You see, there is a reason for all things, even if it does not appear that way at first.”
“How is it that you are so optimistic, even in light of all the bad?” I am in awe at his attitude and outlook on life. So much destruction and death has touched his life, yet he still sees the good.”
“Poppy, have you forgotten what I am? I am an Unclaimed Fae, which means I should be crazed or dead. I shouldn’t have had the chance to fall in love, father a child, or even be sitting here discussing all of this with you. I am happy for every day that I am alive, and I make a point to see the blessing in that each day.”
Nodding at his words, I take a deep breath as I turn them over and over again in my head. In theory I know all he says is true. I have been hearing similar things from my friends and family since Rho’s death, but I never felt like any of them truly understood. Rowan does. He knows what it is like to struggle with who you are every day.
“What I’m telling you will not make you understand immediately. You won’t just blink and everything will fall into place and all will be right with the world. You’ll have to work at it every day, being conscious of how you feel and what you’re doing daily. But it will become easier as the days pass and eventually it’ll become second nature.”
I chuckle as a thought occurs to me. “You know, you sound just like Reed.”
“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow in question, and I can see the joy the comparison brings him.
“Yes. He told me something similar just a few days ago, about having fun. It seems as if I am too serious.” I instinctively narrow my eyes when I say this, having not been pleased when I was told this.
Rowan laughs beside me. “No! Not you. Surely you are mistaken,” he says in mock horror.
I glare at him, but it quickly turns into a smile. “I know I am entirely too serious. But like we were just discussing, I do not know any better. Damien…” I growl the word out, anger coursing through me at the mention of his name. “He was cold and harsh. He taught me what I needed to know to survive and to fight. That was all. I do not even remember laughing until I met Rho. Fun was something I knew nothing about, not really — not until I met Reed.” I smile fondly at the thought.
“Tell me about him. Tell me about my son. Please?” His voice is hesitant, and I think a little scared. I cannot imagine what it may have been like for him to have always known where his son was and only being able to watch him from afar, having to stay on the outside and never be able to talk to him.
Because of this, I find myself wanting to be completely honest with Rowan. I think of Reed and allow my words to flow freely. “When I first met him, I did not like him at all. I thought he was arrogant and rude, but he surprised me. He took to being a Fae right away. It was as if as soon as he knew his true nature, it just took over. I know he is a Halfling, but I think he has so much more of you in him. He fights like a true warrior and is a force to be reckoned with.”
“That’s my boy,” Rowan mumbles, more to himself, unmistakably proud.
I chuckle and continue. “He is also smart, funny, and charming. He is a lot like you in those ways, as well. He has a brilliant smile that usually wins everyone over instantly, and his eyes just light up when he laughs. It reminds me of the twinkle in your eyes and mischievous smile I saw when we first met. That is how I knew you were his father. I have never known anyone like him before. He is so easy to talk to and always knows the right thing to say to make me laugh or help me through a problem. He is there whenever I need him, and sometimes when I did not know that I needed him. We have a very special bond.”
I look over at Rowan when I finish, a bit embarrassed about opening up so fully to a virtual stranger. He is not looking at me, though. Instead, he is staring off into space. His whisper
ed words barely reach my ears, but it sounds like he says, “soul mates.” My heart rate picks up, and I grow nervous.
“What did you say?” I ask hesitantly.
He looks me in the eye. His are wide and serious, and I find myself growing even more nervous at his intense look. “I said, ‘soul mates.’ That is what you and Reed are.”
“What…what is that?” I know what the word means, but I do not understand why Rowan would apply it to Reed and I.
“It is a very rare and unique trait that very few possess. When two souls are so connected to one another, it defies all laws and rules of this or the human world. They are bound together in such a way that they can communicate with one another mentally. They feel each other’s pain and happiness, and they are always aware of where the other is. It is something that most have never heard of and those that have heard rumors think it is only a myth.”
“Then how do you know that it is even true?”
“Because Anna and I are soul mates,” he says sadly.
Chapter Twenty-Six
My body jerks up involuntarily from the tree, and I turn to face Rowan fully. “What? You and Anna? But how?” My mind is reeling. I came here for answers about the Unclaimed Fae and to confirm my suspicions that Rowan is Reed’s father. I never thought Rowan would know anything about what was going on between Reed and me. Although I considered doing the exact same thing to Reed, I cannot help the accusation that comes out of my mouth next. “You left her.”
His shoulders slump, and he cannot meet my eyes. “Yes, I did.”
“How could you do that? She was your soul mate and Reed was your son. How could you bear to be away from them?” Every time the thought of leaving Reed behind in the human world has crossed my mind, I was overwhelmed with such sadness. It had to have been unbearable for him.
“It was not easy. It took a lot of time and preparation for me to even work up to leaving. When I finally made the decision that it was time, I didn’t think I would be able to go through with it. That same night I found an unknown Fae snooping around their house. That was the only way I was able to hold on to the decision I made. I knew if I did not stay away, that would only be the first of many Fae.”
“What did he want, the Fae?” A strong sense of unease takes over, and I get a bad feeling about what Rowan is going to tell me.
He eyes me for a moment, as if deciding what he will reveal. He nods more to himself than me and finally tells me what I was afraid of. “At first, nothing. I could sense he was Unseelie and that he was up to no good, but the Fae was very stubborn and would not reveal who he was or what he was seeking. After some persuasion he finally confirmed that he was indeed from the Unseelie Court and that his king had sent him to follow me and report back on my activities. He did not seem to know why he was following me or what the king was seeking specifically, but before I killed him, he did reveal that the king had been having me followed for years.”
My unease increases, and although I think I already know the answer, I still ask, “Why would the king be having you followed?”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it was for several reasons. First, I am a Golden Fae, rare and unique. We all know the king covets rare and unique things. Second, I am an Unclaimed. But I’m sure when word of a Golden, Unclaimed Fae spread, it made me even more appealing to the king.” His voice is just as bitter as his laugh.
“So you did it to keep them safe,” I murmur to myself. That was what I was trying to do with Reed, but in the end Rowan’s intentions did not work. Although Anna was able to raise Reed peacefully, he was still discovered by King Foxglove, and I was sent for him. Then he was still held prisoner and could have been killed. Rowan’s action only caused him and Anna heartache over the separation and caused Reed to be raised without his father.
Would that be the same outcome if I forced Reed away? Would it only cause more trouble and pain? I sigh at all the new thoughts and questions that bombard me, still not knowing the right thing to do. Right now, however, is not the time for those decisions. I need to find out how to help Holly and see if Rowan would like to meet Reed. Pushing away the sad thoughts, I turn to Rowan once again.
“There is another reason for seeking you out. I need to know what you know of the Unclaimed Fae. A friend of mine has developed the disease, and I want to help her. Would you be willing to come back to the Seelie Court with me? Not only do the queen and I need your help, but I would also like to introduce you to Reed. I am sure he would like to meet you and that Anna would like to see you again.”
“Anna? She is here?” He starts to look around as if she were here in the forest with us.
I smile at his eagerness to see her again. “Not here in the woods. She is at the Seelie Court. Reed and I brought her here with us this morning. Reed missed her, and we did not want anything to happen to her since she is all alone. Reed did not wish to leave the Seelie Court…”
“Or you,” Rowan puts in quickly.
I glare at him and continue. “Because of the impending battle with Damien and the Unseelie Court. He did not wish to leave us a warrior down, and he is also eager to be a part of Damien’s death.” I emphasize my words clearly. He raises one eyebrow, but does not comment this time. “So he brought her here with us. I must say, it has caused quite a stir at Court.”
“Is she safe? At the Seelie Court? Most Fae do not like humans. That is the reason I did not keep her and Reed here with me. Because I had no way to keep them safe on my own, they would have been in constant danger here in Faery Land. Not to mention the Unseelie king's sudden interest in me. It was better to keep them far away from here.” His voice is sad once again, so I quickly reassure him.
“She has the full protection of my mother. No harm will come to her within the walls of the Seelie Court. If she wishes to leave, she will be surrounded by guards and probably her son, as well.”
He nods as he says, “Good, very good. She will be safe then.” He looks at me solemnly now, and I fear what he is going to say. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go with you. If you explain what you need, I’ll help as best as I can, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to disrupt their lives.”
“I understand what you are saying, and I cannot tell you what their wishes are because they do not know about you. Yet. But they will and I can tell you from the perspective of a child who was without her mother her entire life...finding my mother has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. If I found out she was so close for so long and never came to me, I would have thought it was by choice and that she did not wish to know me. So, do not choose to stay away for their sake. If you meet with them and they do not wish further contact, then at least it was their choice. I think you owe them and yourself the choice.”
He smiles slightly at me. “Now how did you get to be the one with all the wisdom? I thought that was supposed to be my role here.”
I shrug and smile back. “I guess all that wisdom of yours is working already.”
“I guess so.” He turns from me and looks out into the forest once more. I remain quiet beside him, allowing him the time he needs to make a decision, but I already know what choice he will make. He is too much like Reed to make any other.
****
The walk back to the Seelie Court is quiet and uneventful. We are both too lost in our own thoughts to speak, but it is a comfortable silence. As we near the edge of the forest just outside of Seelie territory, I open up my mind and lift the mental blocks I had down for so long. I reach out to find Reed, and he is immediately there.
“Poppy? How are you? Are you okay? Where are you? What…” His questions are frantic and come rapidly.
I cut him off, fearing he will never stop asking questions. “Reed, stop. I am fine. I am just about to enter our territory, and I have a friend with me. Would you alert the guards and my mother, please? Have her meet me at the front gate.”
I can feel his hesitation and curiosity. I know he wants to ask more questions, but he
also wants to do what I have asked him. “Can I meet you there, too?”
I glance at Rowan, weighing my choices. Rowan wishes to see both Reed and Anna, but my mother will want to put Holly as a priority. Forced to make the decision myself, I decide now is just as good a time as any. We will need Reed’s help with Holly anyway, and I do not want it to be awkward for Rowan.
“Yes. Meet us there, as well.”
“Okay, thanks. I’m going to get your mom now, and I’ll see you in a few.”
Although Reed has gone, I do not close the connection. I like knowing he is there.
“I like knowing you’re right here too, Poppy. I’m glad you made it back okay.”
I let out a soft sigh. As much as I like knowing he’s mentally close, I will need to learn to put up some sort of mental blocks. I do not want Reed knowing my every thought. How embarrassing.
Rowan and I reach the edge of the Faery Forest and step onto Seelie Land. I immediately see the lights from the front gates and can see several figures standing there. I can already make out my mother and Reed in the crowd. They are the two in the very center. We take our time making our way toward them. I can feel Rowan’s nervousness and fear over meeting his son for the first time. I do not wish to rush him.
When we finally reach the crowd, Reed is the first one to break ranks. He swiftly strides over to me, his long legs reaching me in only a few steps. His arms wrap around me and pull me tightly against him. I am momentarily caught off guard and a little embarrassed by the show of affection.