by J. L. Weil
Plus, I hadn’t even applied to a single school.
I sucked.
“I’m going to be late,” I replied, dodging the question. I snatched my book bag from the corner and brushed past her before the tears started. It was way too early for tears.
When I got to school, it was hardly better. Austin and Tori were all over me like white on rice. There must be something in the air today, and it didn’t help that I was feeling the height of bitchiness.
Thank you Lukas and your freaking magic.
It was impossible to not think about my shadowy soul, so much so that I couldn’t concentrate in my classes. I was on the verge of blowing my cap. My time was running thin and the prospect of losing my soul was racking on nerves.
Shuffling toward my locker to ditch my books before going to the cafeteria, I was bookend by the dynamic due—Tori and Austin. We hadn’t spent much time together since they found out the truth about me. My fault not theirs.
Austin eyed me through his wire-rimmed glasses. “So what is the delio on our little witch?”
I elbowed him in the side, and hissed, “Can we not talk about this here?
“What crawled up your butt and died?” Tori grumbled. She had such elegance for words.
I wanted to pinch her. We had reached my locker, and I started to fumble with the combination. “You wouldn’t believe me.”
She leaned on the locker next to mine, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “Please. At this point, if you told me that aliens were real, I’d believe you.”
“Are they?” Austin asked, standing beside Tori.
I shoved my massive trig textbook into my locker, relieved at losing the extra five pounds. “What, aliens? How do I know?”
They both stared at me expectedly.
Rolling my eyes, I slammed the door to my locker shut. “No, aliens aren’t real…I don’t think.”
“So tell us the dilemma. We can help, you know? Just cause we don’t have magical mojo doesn’t mean we are helpless,” Tori said in a can-do-attitude.
At least she didn’t hate my guts and wasn’t afraid of me anymore. There was that. “It’s my problem. Not yours.” I did not what the two of the mix up in this. They already knew too much.
“So what, did someone try to kill you again?” Austin asked, hitting the nail on the head.
I glanced around just to make sure no one was listening. “Lukas,” I muttered, rubbing my hands over my arms. A chill went through when I said his name.
Tori’s eyes got saucer size big.
“Are you saying that Lukas tried to—” Austin finished the sentence with the slit-your-throat hand gesture.
I sunk against the lockers. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
Of course they didn’t listen. I never should have said anything.
Austin’s light green eyes lit up. “Oh, no he didn’t.”
“He wouldn’t.” Outraged marked Tori’s expression.
“He did,” I said unenthusiastic.
Tori grabbed my arm. “You have to tell us everything.”
Today was not the day to manhandle me. In my defense, I didn’t know that I was doing anything until it was too late. I just reacted. A surge of energy bolted through me.
“Ouch!” Tori squealed. “You zapped me.”
“Don’t touch me,” I said, the panic I’d suddenly felt gone. Regrettably the words came out harsher than I intended. I rubbed the side of my head, feeling a stab of pain radiate across my temple.
Austin started on a rant roll. “Girl, you are trippin’ today? Someone flip your bitch switch? Was it Rianne? Because if that skank is spreading rumors with her lizard lips again—”
“No,” I snapped. “It’s no one. I just—” I shut my trap not wanting to involve them. They would only worry and the pain was intensifying. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not feeling myself.”
“Someone forgot to take their meds,” Tori mumbled under her breath.
I shot her the stink eye. I needed to leave before I did any permanent damage to our friendship. Nothing would ever be normal again, not with this darkness chopping away at my soul. “I’ll see you guys later. I need to find Gavin.” Pronto.
As I walked away, I felt their eyes at my back as they wondered what was going on with their wacky friend.
I didn’t blame them.
“Gavin!” I called, spotting him just outside the cafeteria.
He turned around at the sound of my voice. The smile that had started to curl his lips, fell. “What’s wrong?” he asked, when I stopped in front of him.
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I just fried my best friend with magic.”
“Which one? Because Tori might benefit from a good shock.”
“This isn’t funny. It’s getting harder and harder to not lash out.” With each word my tone got louder.
His eyes sobered. “Come on.” He took my hand and led me to the south exit. With strides much longer than mine, I practically had to run to keep up. Pushing through the double doors, we exited to the back of the building.
I took a huge gulp of air, letting it smooth the burning in my lungs. This part of the school was usually where the burnouts hung, smoking or worse.
Gavin scowled at a small group huddled against the bricks. “Scram.” The way he said the on word left no room for argument. They dropped their little white sticks to the ground. The moment we were alone, Gavin crushed their still lit cigarettes with his boot.
“Charming,” I said dryly.
He arched a brow, the silver stud glinting. “I could say the same for your little outburst in the hall. You just need to hang on for a little longer.”
“Does that mean you are close to figuring out how to stop it?”
“Not exactly.”
His words sunk in slowly. “It’s hopeless.”
He flashed in front of me. “This is exactly what you can’t do. Give up. The dark inside will take advantage of any weakness it senses. You can’t afford to let it gain even an inch.”
I forced a casual shrug. “Oh, is that all,” I fired back, a buzzing in my ear. I was being a bitch, and I knew, but I couldn’t help it.
“I know this isn’t easy, but I refuse to lose you.”
“You might not have a choice.”
He boxed me in, placing a hand on either side of the brick wall. “Your pity party isn’t helping.”
Sparks radiated at my fingers. “Don’t push me.” My voice had a technetronic quality to it. Freaky.
He wasn’t intimidated. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Bri. I’m trying to get you to be reasonable—to fight back.”
My eyes narrowed. “All you’re doing is pissing me off.” I was pumped with magic.
“Good. Then at least you aren’t feeling sorry for yourself. That fire will keep the dark from spreading.”
Oh God. He was right. With a lot more effort than it should have taken, I closed my fists, calling back the energy bursting to break free. It screamed inside me, begging to be released. I closed my eyes, evening out my breathing. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this. It is eating me up inside,” I said, my eyes opening.
He saw my struggle. “I will find a way to counteract the darkness from absorbing that assholes magic. I promise.”
I rubbed the end of my nose. “Do you have ideas?”
“Not yet, but if I ever get my hands on him…”
No other words were necessary. The menacing scowl on his face said it all. He would kill him. If Lukas knew what was best for him, he’d never show his face in Holly Ridge again. Hell, crossing state lines of North Carolina might not be far enough. Gavin had a ruthless determination, and regardless of what happened to me, Lukas was going to be Gavin’s number one target.
Morgana’s warning echoed in my memory. It was one I’d likely never forget.
Two boys. One destined to be your true love, bound by more than just magic and love. The other…well, he isn’t so lucky. He will destroy all the good you p
ossess. Squash your pureness, which is also your strength. He will poison you with darkness—blacken your soul. And make you turn from all you love. The choice is yours great granddaughter. Choose wisely. For it can’t be undone.
Well. She had pinned the donkey on the butt. Lukas had definitely poisoned me, but it was of my own doing. I made the choice to take his magic. And if we didn’t find a solution soon, I was likely to lose all those that I loved.
Chapter 27
Time passed. Weeks turned into a month. Graduation loomed right around the corner, and I isolated myself from all those I loved. The magic breathing inside me continued to spread like a nasty virus.
I snapped at my friends for no reason.
I pushed Gavin further and further away.
I snarled at my aunt when she was only concerned.
The list of cruel things that came out of my mouth the last few weeks could fill a book. It was embarrassing and so out of character for me, but nothing I did, not matter how hard I tried, I could not hold back the darkness from swallowing me.
And while I was wallowing in the dark, fighting every day to win this internal battle, Gavin was spending every waking moment trying to find a way to save me. He never gave up, which was more than I deserved.
I secluded myself in school, was unusually quiet at home, and I lacked piazza at work (not that I’d had a lot to begin with). Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the person who stared back. Her eyes were sunken—lackluster. Her clothes were baggier than they should have been, thanks to my lack of appetite. And I didn’t need Sophie to tell me that a shroud of darkness surrounded me.
Turning away from my reflection, I did what I could to make my appearance as normal as possible, but I fooled no one.
Downstairs, Aunt Clara was washing off her breakfast plate. “I can’t believe this is your last week of high school,” she said when she saw me, drying her hands.
My heart sunk. One more week. I might cry. Big. Blubbering. Sobs. Not because high school was coming to end, but because my time here in this house, living with my aunt, was coming to end. I finally came to the decision that for her safety…I had to leave. After graduation just seemed like the appropriate time. I didn’t see the point in lingering. It would only make the choice harder by prolonging, and every day that the darkness became stronger, my resilience weakened.
“Don’t cry,” I said, seeing her eyes well up. “I just applied this makeup and I don’t have another twenty minutes to fix it.”
She laughed, shaking her head and sniffing. “Don’t expect a no-tear policy at graduation,” she warned, dabbing at her wet eyes.
I tried to hide my sadness. “You can bawl like a baby.”
“I will,” she assured, smiling. “So what do have planned on your final Saturday before freedom?”
God, if she only knew. It was better she didn’t. I took a seat. “Nothing special. I thought I would go to the beach later.”
She stood behind the counter across from me and folded her hands. “You have always loved going to the beach, even as a baby. Your entire face would light up.”
Threading my fingers through my hair, I smiled. “Some things never change.” Like my love for her, the woman who raised me alone. She was the strongest person I knew.
I didn’t have any idea how to write a goodbye letter, but I had to have everything in order, because immediately after graduation, I was out of here. Time was running out, and we were no closer to finding a way to stop the evil from winning.
How did I say goodbye to the two most important people in my life? The one who was in every memory of my past, and the other who was in all of my dreams for the future.
But to stay was a risk I was unwilling to take, not until I found a way to save myself, because the day darkness ruled me was swiftly approaching. They weren’t safe while I was around and unstable.
I know that they would both feel hurt and betrayed by my leaving. I could only hope in time they would see it was for them—that there was no other way.
She tweaked my nose. “I proud of you.”
I drank in the sight of her, searing it to memory. One week wasn’t long enough. “Well, you only have yourself to thank. You taught me to be the person I am.”
Her eyes filled with sentiment. “Oh, now you’ve done it.” She wiped at her cheeks.
Jumping off the stool, I walked around the counter and gave her a hug. It was harder to pull away than I bargained for. I drew a sharp breath, suppressing the thick emotions that were clogging the back of my throat. “I’m meeting Gavin, I should probably go,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even.
“Don’t forget a sweater. It’s cooler by the water,” she said, the motherly instinct always there. She had been more mother than aunt to me, so it was fitting.
I nodded and walked toward the garage. If I stayed another minute, I was going to lose the hold on my emotions. I took one last glimpse over my shoulder before I left.
The tears broke free once I saw the house I loved in my rearview mirror. My chest tightened, but I squared my shoulders and focused ahead. Pointing my car the direction of the beach, I took a deep breath. There was still one more person I needed to say goodbye, and this one would take all my strength, all my sheer will, and an act of God.
Today I would tell Gavin goodbye.
In my own way.
I sat cross-legged on the beach. Waves crashed like cannon fire, the earth shook, and the water swirled. My emotions were going haywire.
Oh dear Mary, mother of God. My heart splintered, shattering into a billion fragments of sorrow, pain, regret, anger, longing. The range of feelings just kept piling on. I was wigging out. One minute I was confident I could do this—that I must to do this for his protection. The next I was whimpering, on my knees, begging for a miracle—a cure to this madness choking me.
I had to get this over with. The anxiety was enough to kill me. I couldn’t go another week with this weight on my chest. He would do everything in his power to stop me, which was why I wasn’t precisely telling him my plans. Yes, I was saying goodbye without actually saying the words, but after I was gone, he would know.
His appearance brought forth conflicted feelings, but love overshadowed them all. My fingers shifted in the sand. “Hey,” I greeted, watching him plopped down next to me.
“I take it you are having a bad day?” Gavin asked, nodding to the turbulent waters churning.
I knew he was worried about me, and who could blame. The whole reason I was here was because I had become someone else. The Brianna he knew had changed, and I didn’t know how to get her back.
I wasn’t her. Not anymore.
I had avoided his gaze until now, because I knew that once our eyes collided, I wouldn’t be able to look away from his brilliant blue eyes. “I’ve had better.”
His boots dug into the sand. “I’m not giving up, and neither should you.”
“Our window is closing, Gavin. And it’s no one’s fault but my own. If I had found another way—”
“You can’t blame yourself for things that our outside your control. We don’t pick the gifts bestowed upon us. We are given only what we can handle, so someone must think that you have it inside you to overcome. I believe in you.”
If only that was enough. Too bad my life wasn’t a fairytale.
What he said was true, but it didn’t change my decision. We sat together, talking and listening to the sounds of the beach. There was no one here but us. Being with him was so easy, it was effortless and that was what I loved about us.
I fumbled with the chain of my necklace, my first real item of magic. Not always effective, but I had kept it with me.
Gavin inched closer. “Holy shit.”
He startled me. “What?” I was clueless, but it was obvious by the expression on his face that it was important.
He ran a hand through his raven hair, eyes meeting mine. “I think I figured it out, how to keep the darkness at bay.”
Say what.
I did a double take, thinking my ears deceived me. “Oh,” I said, I had nothing else. It seemed unreal, and I wasn’t getting my hopes up. My heart couldn’t take it.
Twirling the stones at my neck, his fingers grazed against my skin. I waited expectantly as he worked through whatever theory was running through his head. Twenty seconds ticked by.
Was he going to tell me or torture me in suspense?
He tugged the hoop on his lip. “It was right in my face the whole time. How did I not guess sooner?”
I still had no idea what he was referring to, and now I was getting annoyed. I turned my body to face him, by knees in the sand. “Are you going to tell me what you are talking about or just keep speaking in circles?”
He arched a brow, the corner of his lips tipping. “It’s your necklace.”
“How is my necklace going to save me?” I asked, thinking he had lost his freaking mind.
Exasperation posed on his face. “Not the necklace, but the moonstone.”
Right that made perfect sense. Not. The doubt was written all over my expression. A cloud passed over the sun and the temperature seemed to have dropped. “I’m still not following.”
A small smile pulled at his lips, and I saw the beginnings of excitement shining in his eyes. “It’s an ancient remedy no longer practice. Crystals were never my thing, but my mom, being a healer, it’s part of her craft. Crushed moonstone has properties that purify a soul—”
Something clicked. “Moondust.” The voice of the tarot card reader echoed in my head. You keep it close to you. I didn’t think she meant literally.
He nodded. “Moondust.”
“How?” It was impossible to believe that my cure was so simple. There had to be a catch.
His hands grasped the sides of my cheeks. “I’ll show you.” He held out his hand.
I took a breath. With slightly shaky hands, I fumbled with the clasp at the back of my neck removing the necklace and dropping into his waiting palm.