by Amy Sparling
“Thanks,” I say. It’s really awesome to have a best friend, even though I know Maria is still annoyed by it. “What’s Matilda up to?” I ask, while we both lay on our stomachs across my bed, feet dangling off the end, focus on our cell phones.
“Banging her boyfriend, I guess,” Mindy says with a snort. “That guy is pretty hot for a senior. You’ll learn that about us as time goes on, Maddie. I’m the logical one who is holding out for a real man, Matilda dates a new guy every month and is like, totally MIA when she’s in a new relationship, and Maria goes from being your best friend to your worst enemy every other day or so.”
“Really?” I ask, while I scroll through Instagram. “So she’s not just hating me to hate me?”
Mindy shakes her head. “Nah. She’ll come around and hang out with us soon. It’s a little different though, because the three of us have been best friends for years. We don’t just add a new M all the time or anything.”
“Well, I’m glad you added me,” I say, tapping the heart on every photo I scroll through. “Otherwise I’d be some friendless loser in school.”
She scoffs. “No way. Everyone loves you. If I didn’t snag you, some other bitch would have, and then I’d have to hate you on principle.” She scoots over until our shoulders are touching, and readies the camera on her phone. “Smile!”
I lean my head next to hers and we take an adorable selfie, which she posts online.
“I’m so glad you moved here,” Mindy says.
“Yeah,” I say, feeling that boulder of guilt settle in the pit of my stomach. “Me too.”
I wonder what she’d do if she knew I’d been here all along? She likes me now that I’m a Shady Heights resident, but I’m still the same person I was when I lived in a trailer park. Yet, the Mindy Carmichaels of the world aren’t friends with trailer park girls.
That’s why, no matter how close we get, I can’t ever tell her the truth.
Chapter 28
I am in love with Maddie Sinclair.
Forget everything I ever thought I knew, all the other girls I dated and liked a lot. All of that is total crap because my one true love is Maddie. Even Josh’s mom was wrong on this one. True love can be found in high school. When I am with Maddie, there’s nothing in the world that can get me down.
I haven’t told her, not yet. Haven’t looked deep into her eyes and said the words, “I love you.”
Maddie is a logical, practical, smart girl. She probably wouldn’t be too excited to hear those epic words so soon in our relationship. It’s only been about a month, and I still haven’t met her parents. She’s met mine, several times. They love her, as I knew they would.
Since Maddie is busy helping her mom plan her wedding, she doesn’t want to complicate things by introducing them to me just yet. I can understand that. I’m also excited to meet her sisters because they are such a huge part of her life. We’re taking things slow here, so I can’t tell her I love her just yet.
But, damn, I love her.
Now that my parents know how serious my dating life is, I’d hoped I could use it as another argument for getting a job. I prepared my argument and brought it up on a good day when they were in good moods. I said I’d like to take my girlfriend out on dates every week and I’d like to pay for it myself. I humbled myself by saying I’d prefer to pay for my dates with money I earned, not money they earned.
They didn’t fall for it. Mom asked if Mindy has to work and I’d said no, even though I wanted to lie and say yes to help my cause. My parents then decided that if a Shady Heights girl didn’t need a job, then neither did I. Dad said he was fine pitching in money for my dates.
How awkward is that? After all my careful planning, I’m still screwed on the job front.
I shove all of those thoughts aside as I shower and go over my whole body twice with the soap. Tonight is date night with the prettiest girl on the planet, and I can’t let my parents’ stupid decisions put a damper on that.
After our first date, I learned to include Maddie on our date night planning. She’s not too big on fancy restaurants, which is weird for a normal girl in our school, but uniquely normal for Maddie. She’s not high maintenance, not stuck up, not demanding of me like every other girl in my life has been at one time or another.
She loves going to the Burger Shack for burgers and fries, or James Coney Island for a hot dog and milkshake. She’s happy when we take a walk through the outlet mall, or see a movie at the theater with loveseats so we can cuddle.
In short, she’s the perfect girlfriend ever. I throw on a pair of jeans and Maddie’s favorite shirt, a black T-shirt with a blue surf shop logo on it.
I’m pulling on my shoes when Maddie calls me.
“Hey, beautiful,” I say, wedging the phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Do you mind if I drive over to your house a little early?” she asks, sounding like she’s already in the car.
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“No, they’re just doing wedding set up stuff and a million people are at our house and it’s annoying. I wanted to get out of there, so I thought I could just come over if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course,” I say, tying my shoe.
“Good, because I’m here.”
Grinning, I jog through my house and fling open the front door, forgetting that I’m still on the phone with her. She cuts the engine and gets out of her car, looking gorgeous as always. She’s wearing these shorts with frilly stuff on the edges so they kind of look like a skirt, and a tank top that shows of her newly acquired tan. All those days at the pool have turned her golden like caramel.
“Hey, babe,” I say, rushing forward and wrapping my arms around her.
I kiss her, the feeling electric now that I know for sure that I love her. She smells like lavender and cotton candy, and it fills me with all kinds of fluttery feelings that Josh would rag on me for having.
I slide my hands down her soft arms and then grab her waist and pull her to me, kissing her even as she giggles at me.
“Are we going out or are we just gonna stand here kissing all night?” she says, poking me in the chest.
“Hmmm, both ideas sound good,” I say, pressing her back against her car as I keep kissing her, taking in the glorious way her lips feel against mine.
She sighs a little, sliding her fingers up my chest. Goosebumps cover my skin, her touch like a flame that I can’t ever get enough of.
“I guess we should go out,” she says with a little pained sigh. “I mean, I am kinda hungry and although I love making out with you, you don’t fill my stomach.”
I laugh, and kiss her one last time. “Okay. Let me get my keys and we’ll go.”
“You want to take my car?” she asks, holding out the car keys on her index finger.
I consider it a moment. My car is probably faster, but hers smells like new car while mine smells like, well, like a locker room.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, taking the keys.
#
After dinner, we end up at the community park where they’re showing the movie Jaws on a huge inflatable screen. The movie is at the bottom of a wide sloping grassy hill, and people spread out everywhere on towels and blankets to watch it.
There’s not much of a crowd here tonight, so Maddie and I find a secluded spot in front of a tree at the very back row. From here, we can chat and make out without bothering anyone.
“Have I ever told you how lucky I am?” I ask. Maddie is laying on her back on top of the blanket she had in her car from the last time we were here. My hoodie, also left in her car, is being used as her pillow, and I’m on my side, my head propped up on my elbow right next to her.
She shakes her head. “I’m the lucky one.”
I purse my lips together. “Nope. It’s me. And I’ll argue all night with you to prove I’m right.”
A slow grin slides across her lips, and she reaches up, wrapping her fingers around my neck and pulling me down to her level. She kisses
me deeply, her tongue roaming across mine, the fireworks between us bursting at full volume. I grab her thigh and pull her against me, moving to kiss her neck, her collar bone, the little curve of flesh just above her shirt’s neckline.
She moans as I rock against her, my hands sliding all over her sexy as hell curves. She grabs my back, her nails digging into my skin, pulling me all the way on top of her.
This goes on for longer than it should in a public place, no matter how secluded we are. I pull away slowly, letting my hand cup her face while I kiss her one last time. “We should stop,” I whisper, both to maintain public decency, and because I might literally explode if this goes any further. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.
“See?” Maddie says, grinning and looking a little woozy from all of our making out. “I’m the lucky one.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask, gazing into her eyes.
She shrugs, reality coming back to her features. “Trust me. My life wasn’t that great before my mom got engaged to Landon.”
“Really?” I ask, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “You can tell me more, if you’d like.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. You probably wouldn’t like me if I did.”
I lift an eyebrow. “Why would you say that? I’m crazy about you.”
“Well, I guess, I just wasn’t popular or anything at my old school.”
“So? I don’t like you because you’re popular, you dork,” I say, placing a quick kiss on top of her nose. “I like you because of you.”
She shakes her head slightly. “You wouldn’t have ever noticed me if Mindy didn’t, like, make me one of her popular friends.”
“Wrong!” I say. “I noticed you at Mrs. Ruiz’ house, remember? It was before you knew Mindy.” I stick out my tongue. “So there. I win.”
She makes this little laugh and then gazes out at the sky. “Let’s just be happy with how things are and not question the past.”
It’s a little after midnight when we part ways after an amazing date. I’m crawling into bed when my phone goes off and I check it, expecting something from Maddie.
Maria’s name appears at the top of the text. Ugh.
I ignore her message asking to hang out. I ignore it when she says it’s important, and I ignore the dirty picture message she sends afterward. I even ignore it when she says she’s better than Maddie, but that time, it’s a little harder to hold my tongue.
Chapter 29
I stare longingly at the text on my cell phone. It’s simple and cute, an I miss you with a crying face emoji. I only left his house ten minutes ago, so he can’t possibly miss me, yet he does. And I miss him, his touch more than anything.
I never imagined feeling this way about a guy back in my old life. I always thought trying to date while worrying about how the bills will get paid or who will babysit the girls because Mom’s working late would make it impossible. Now all of those problems are gone and I’m free to live the life of a carefree teenager.
Mom and Landon’s wedding is in a week, next Friday. They’ve invited Landon’s parents and family, my aunt Cindy who lives in Louisiana and her husband, and a couple friends. Mom and Landon have asked me to invite Colby if I want to, but I haven’t yet. I’m not sure if I want to invite him to something so intimate and close to my family.
I haven’t even let him meet my parents yet. Mr. and Mrs. Jensen are super nice people and they seem to really like me, so meeting his parents wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined. Maybe letting Mom and Landon meet Colby also won’t be bad, but I’m not ready to find out.
I’m just so damned nervous about it. My new life with Landon as a future step-dad is one impossibly amazing, surreal life. I have a hard enough time getting used to living in this luxurious mansion with my mom and sisters.
My school life, the one I share with Colby, is another insanely impossible bliss that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But right now, the home life and school life are two separate things.
There’s been so much change in my life, it’s hard dealing with it all. I still wake up in a panic attack from nightmares about being thrown back into the trailer park without a dime to our name. If Colby ever found out about that part of my life, I don’t know what I’d do.
I’d probably just drop dead from mortification.
So, I heave a heavy sigh and look at the pale yellow Post-it note with Colby’s name on it. I’m working on the seating chart for the wedding, and I keep putting him in the chair next to me and then taking him back off.
Mom and Landon really want to meet him and hope he comes to the wedding. I’m just not sure the perfect time to introduce my new boyfriend to my mom is on the day she’s getting married.
I gnaw on my bottom lip and put the Post-it note back on the seating chart. In all, there’s twenty relatives and friends attending, plus my sisters, me and Landon and Mom. Twenty-five people, total. That’s a nice number. Adding Colby would just mess it all up, right?
As much as I try to justify my brain’s choice to exclude Colby, my heart doesn’t really listen. I like Colby. A lot. I might even love him. That means he shouldn’t be pushed away.
But the idea of merging my new home life with my new school life is downright terrifying. Like, what if Emma says something about our old house or about how we’ve lived here in town longer than just a few weeks?
My stomach twists at the idea. I pull off the Post-it note, crumple it in my hand and toss it on the floor. It’s settled then. No Colby at the wedding.
Colby won’t be welcomed inside my house at all until it’s been long enough that neither my sisters or my mom will mention how long we’ve really lived here.
#
On the Monday before Mom’s wedding, I’m barely paying attention to the stories at our lunch table. Although my wedding planning binder is at home, I’m still going over the plans in my head. We’ve ordered the food, the flowers, the table settings.
Emma and Starla have matching adorable flower girl dresses, and Mindy helped me buy a lavender dress that looks incredible. She was cool with not being invited to the wedding, especially after I told her it was family only, a small ceremony in our back yard. I get the feeling Mindy is the kind of girl who prefers to party big.
We’ve ordered round tables to set up under the patio, and a dance floor is being installed for the night. The pool will have floating candles to give it all a romantic glow. Even for a small wedding, it’ll be glamourous and wonderful.
The closer we get to the actual day, the happier I feel, for Mom, for my sisters, and for me. Our new life really is here to stay. I finish eating my salad and rise from the table to throw away my trash. When I’m walking back, my eyes catch Colby’s, and even though I was just sitting next to him not five seconds ago, he gives me this devilish look that melts my insides.
I’m about to sit down next to him again when he grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, peering up at him.
“We’re not supposed to sit like this in the cafeteria,” I say, pretending to scold him.
He shrugs. “I don’t care.”
We kiss, and Mindy makes a gagging sound from the next seat over.
“Oh, good. There you are.”
We both glance up to find Maria walking toward us, an expensive school camera slung around her neck.
“About time you showed up for lunch,” Mindy says, stabbing into a piece of lettuce with a little more force than necessary. Now that she mentions it, there has been a nice lack of Maria and her evil glares for the past few days.
Maria gives Mindy a tight-lipped smile. “Yearbook,” she says by way of explanation. She hefts a black and gold hardback book onto the table, directly in front of me. When her eyes meet mine, they sparkle with an excitement I haven’t before seen on her. “It’s so weird how you only just started school,” she says, my blood turning cold beneath her glare.
She reaches for the book, the yearbook, and opens it to a bookmarked page. My heart seems
to stop as her manicured nail slides down the silky paper, stopping at a picture of me, taken back in January.
“Picture day was months ago,” she says, using this fake childlike voice. “So weird that your photo is in here.”
“What the hell?” Mindy says, leaning on her elbows to get a better look.
Behind me, Colby’s chest tightens as he is without a doubt staring at the same thing. Me, with brown stringy hair, a worn out shirt, and no makeup except for my dollar store clumpy mascara.
I don’t have to look over to the left to know that the name Maddie Sinclair is printed there, black and white proof that I did not move here during Spring Break. I am a fraud. And now everyone knows it.
I push off Colby’s lap, grab my backpack from the floor, and run.
Chapter 30
Mindy stands up, her hands slapping the table hard as she levels a glare at Maria. “What the hell is your problem?” she hisses.
It’s more than I do. I just sit here, staring at a color photo of Maddie, my girlfriend, looking not at all like she looks now. Her hair is different, sure, but everything else is, too. She seems far away, distant. Maybe even lost. The girl in the photo is a girl who has given up on life.
Why is she in the yearbook? Picture day was months ago.
Mindy slaps me on the shoulder, jarring me from staring at the yearbook. “Well?” she says, giving me this look that very much resembles when my mother is pissed at me.
“Well, what?” I say, finally able to find my voice.
Mindy throws a hand behind her. “Are you going to go get her?”
I glance back, but Maddie is gone. There’s a knot in my stomach that’s growing bigger with each second. This is confusing as hell, but there has to be an explanation. There is an answer to why Maddie’s picture is here in the yearbook. But the fact that she just ran away like that, without even telling me the answer, makes me pause.