by J. Rudolph
“Trent, that's out there though. We'd have to leave our complex to get them. We don't have the best track record on that. The two times we left brought zombies on us. Are we really ready to do that again?” I looked into his eyes to try to tell how important this actually was to him. “Besides, how do we even know those houses are empty? How do we know they aren't hiding out the zombie apocalypse themselves? If they have power that they know is going to stay put then why would they have left?” I didn't want to think about the fact that the houses we were talking about could easily have housed some of the zombies that we turned into firewood when they were still people. The thought wouldn't go away once it took root. It bothered me to think that the zombies were once people. It crossed my mind more than once that Mrs. Mendez was possibly one of them.
“Yeah. It would mean that we have to leave the complex. We can't turn an apartment complex in southern California into a fully self sufficient compound on what we have on hand. We can't really do it even if we had everything that Wal-Mart and Home Depot has to offer. Sucks, but it is the reality. As a whole southern California isn't the ideal location for this with the lack of rivers and temperature control. We will have to leave sometimes. You know, speaking of what Home Depot has to offer, we could go for broke and hit the home improvement store. They would have multiple types of generators giving us a variety of options so when the sun isn't out we still would have the gas one and when the sun is out the gas one can be shut down so we can conserve fuel. We could get some propane tanks while we're at it.”
It was a lot to think about. There were so many things we could use if we did another run. We could get a real power supply. We could get more of those five gallon jugs. We could get more gasoline for the truck as well as some back up gas cans. I didn't want to admit though that this could be our best chance. When Eric came back infected it shook me to my core. The reality of the infection hit way too close to home. I didn't even know Eric that well and it messed with me. My big fear was that the infection would take away Trent followed now with Jody or Daniel or Joey. These are people I was getting to know and really care about. Something about going through a zombie apocalypse really speeds up the bonding process. I didn't want anyone else hurt.
“You know, we could test the smell theory if we took this trek out to the home improvement place. On our way back we could pour out some bleach over our trail. I still don't think it will help at all to do that, but it's a theory to try.” Trent smiled his we really have to give it a try smile.
I still hated the idea but what else could we do to increase our odds? We had to do something. Joey climbed up the ladder to relieve Trent from watch duty. Trent decided to pitch his idea to him since it was clear that there was something on our minds.
“Hey Joey. We need to come up with a plan here. Lemme run the thought I'm having by you. We were talking about needing to do a home store run for some generators and propane and stuff. Cali thinks its too much a risk, I think the benefits could be worth it. What's your take?”
“Are you really asking me to be the tie breaker between you and your wife? Man. She is going to kill me when I agree. I know she can now that she learned how to work that Luger. Before I could have taken her, but now, I'm not so sure. My only real stipulation on that there agreement is that we have to stop by a place that stocks bullets. Our ammo situation has gotten pretty low.”
“Haha Joey. So you agree then that this is an actually needed trip?” I replied.
“It could be made to be. If it was just a matter of a generator I'd likely be on the fence but like I said we do need more ammo. We need to have more water on reserve just in case. We need more food always. In a group our size all the resources will go faster than we think it should. It is important to keep as ahead on this stuff as possible. If we need to make a run for something else we need to include food and water.”
“Damn it, Joey. You had to go and make sense. It doesn't mean I like the idea of anyone going out again, but yeah, it does make sense to keep on top of stuff.” I conceded. “So, when do you think we should go?”
Trent said with a totally serious there is no negotiation here sort of tone, “You're not going.”
“What? No. If we need stuff we need to have a team that works well together to make sure we all get out of it alive. We have proven that we can get in and get out and take care of business and no one gets hurt.” I was hurt that Trent was going to dismiss me so quickly.
“Yeah, we have proven that. But the fact remains that you are not going. We need a nurse here to take care of people if something goes wrong. You've also proven that you can handle a situation here if there is a zombie hit.” He leaned close to give me a kiss and in low tones, for my ears only, whispered “I need to know you are safe, especially since we've never done a multiple hit run. I need to know that if things end up bad that Drew won't be an orphan. I can't stand the idea that I could lose my wife and my son could be alone. I would be so wrapped up in that I know I would make a mistake and people would suffer for it. Please, Cali, please don't fight me on this. Just stay. Please.”
I had no response to this.
"So, when are you guys taking off?" I asked them both. I was working hard to keep tears in check. Trent and Joey looked at each other thoughtfully.
"Way I see it, the sooner the better. The longer we wait the more likely it will be that the things we are going to be after will be already gone from other survivors getting to it first or that the zombies will be more plentiful and/or more hungry." Joey responded.
Trent nodded. "I agree, although I don't have any interest in doing this in the dark. First thing in the morning then?"
Steven appeared at the top of the ladder offering to do watch. He explained that he had slept late that day and that there was no way that he was going to be getting any sleep that night anyway. Trent and Joey accepted the offer. They went off to talk about their plans.
After they had gone, I sat down on the flat roof and looked over the city while Drew was chatting with Steven about drums. I could see the freeway in the distance. The lack of a chain of tail lights fascinated me. The silence was disorienting for a moment. There was nothing. In the world before zombies there was always something. There were airplanes and car alarms and sirens. Air conditioners would click on and off, a too loud stereo would come from either the street or another unit. Right now there was nothing. Birds had even fallen silent. I felt suddenly alone in the world. It was all gone. Reality as it was before was over. What if everyone was gone and our little complex was it?
It hit me that I was starting to have a flair for dramatic right then. I stopped looking out on the town and brought my eyes back down to the complex. There were people milling about the common grounds enjoying the breeze that came with the setting sun. They were alive and thriving. Drew came up to me, sat down, and put his head on my shoulder.
"Hey mom."
"Hey kiddo. What's up?"
"Oh nothing. Just thinking on stuff."
"Like what?”
"Just that this wasn't what I thought my summer break was going to be like. I thought we would be going to the pool or having picnics. I thought we would be doing nature walks at the college. I never guessed we'd be hiding from zombies. I keep wondering if Grandma and Grandpa are OK at Aunt Kristen's house. I wonder if Nathan is scared. I worry we are never going to see them again. I keep thinking I should have just given him my truck that he played with every time he came here. I keep thinking my friends at school might be hiding out like us but then I start seeing that zombie Joey killed in the parking lot at the sport store and suddenly I don't see that man anymore. I see Kyle or Darren. What if they are all zombies? What if we are the only people ever again? What if I have to get married to Abigail. I mean, ewww."
I understood completely. I cracked a slight smile over worrying about having to get married to Abigail, but the totality of what he was saying sat heavy on me. I wished he wasn't so smart and observant for a moment. I wish he could be
oblivious to it all. I felt insufficient as a mom for not being able to come up with the magic words to be able to set his mind at ease. This world we now lived in was shockingly short on platitudes.
I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I took a breath and said, "I totally get what you're saying baby. I really wish I could say something that would fix it. I'm pretty sure that grandma and grandpa are fine. Grandpa was in the army for a while same as Joey so I bet they have stuff pretty well safe. It helps that Idaho isn't stacked with people like California. Less people mean less chance to get infected with the virus. Kristen had a lot of space around her house. That will help. As for being the only people left here, it's funny cause I was just thinking that myself. I can't believe that we really are. There are a lot of people. If they were all zombies we would see more zombies. In all the movies and stories zombies are anxious to eat and infect. The handful that have come by would have been so many more. I bet that several houses around here have people hiding in it. We may see more of them come out in time after they run out of stuff. I'd hope they end up coming here to help make this place work better since everyone has something they are good at and maybe it will make complex life better for everyone. It's a hope but we'll have to wait and see."
"Yeah. I really hope so. This whole thing just sucks. So, did I hear that dad is going out again? Doesn't that mean zombies end up coming here? How does he know it won't end up like what happened to Eric?"
"Yeah he and Joey are going out. Honestly I don't know what's going to happen with this. I know your dad and Joey are really smart and that they are good at keeping an eye out on things. If this works like we hope it will then we are going to be happier. We can only hope it works out."
Drew sat quietly taking in everything. After a moment he said "Well at least Joey is going with him. He's nice enough and he is tough. He brought out your tough too, I think."
I liked that. The idea that I have become more tough was a funny one but I think in just a couple days I had become stronger than I was. I was definitely less prone to freaking out.
Drew and I stayed up on the roof for a bit longer and watched the sun set. It was nice just being up there with him. The sky quickly shifted its colors. It changed the bright blue into a sea of oranges and yellows and slid into beautiful violets. The stars started to peek out.
"Well kiddo, we need to get on in. The street lights flicked off and on. I don't want to figure out the ladder in the dark if the lights shut off completely."
I sent him down the ladder first. On my trek down on the next to last rung the lights shut off completely. I hoped that it was going to pop back on but it didn't. Drew and I made it back to the apartment carefully. We moved on the sidewalk almost driven by muscle memory. We moved up the stairs and in through the front door. Drew made his way to the couch and I made my way over to the bathroom where we kept the lantern.
Right after the lantern got switched on Trent walked in. When the power went out Trent knew we would come right here. I placed the lantern on the coffee table and we all sat down together on the couch. For a while no one said anything. Trent was the first to break the silence.
"Joey and I talked to Tyreese about the run tomorrow. He's going to come with us if I can talk you into taking watch."
I looked at him. I still wasn't thrilled over the run. I still thought about the risk to them and the risk to the complex if they were followed back.
"Jody calling a council was a great idea. We plan on calling a meeting in the morning to see if there is anything the other resource units needed. We figure on taking the truck and if we can talk Martha into it, the U-Haul Eric had rented when he bought all that garage sale stuff a couple weeks ago. It's the best way I can figure to get the most stuff back."
“Trent! You're planning a dual team? Really?" The idea of separate vehicles was asking for trouble. "I'm freaked out that you all will separate thinking you'll save time."
"I can understand that. You do need to remember that no one said anything about a dual team. I get that you're scared. You kinda have to get over that. I'm saying that we are going to stay together, you need to trust that."
He was right. I knew it was my own fears that were leaking out all over. Part of it was I wasn't going to be there with him to see for myself that all was going as planned.
"So, are you willing to be the head watch while we're out?"
"Yeah. That won't be an issue. Drew will most likely going to play at Liam's anyways. It will give me a job and keep me occupied which is a good thing. Hey are you taking the rhino gun?"
"Nah. It's just a single shot gun so it's not practical for doing runs."
"Tomorrow will you teach me how to fire it?"
"Sure. We've been leaving it up there for watch people anyway."
"Ugh. It's getting late.” I said. I felt bone tired at that point, wanting to just give in to the dark. “We probably should turn in. It sucks that we can't do our bed time movie thing now. Even with the generator we probably can't do that anymore. It's weird that it matters to me that we can't have that routine anymore."
Trent gave me a half smile, one that was empathetic but not condescending. "You know, I understand that. It's kinda like another nail in the it's-over coffin. It's a new life. I keep feeling like we are strangers in a foreign country and we don't speak the language. And yeah, it does feel late. It is time to turn in. Come on bud."
We all climbed into bed and Trent shut off the lantern. My head churned with thoughts. Today felt like an emotional wringer. The talk I had with Drew was weighing heavy on me. When I fell asleep finally I dreamed about a person lost in the desert with cacti that came alive. In the dream I was trying to help this person but I wasn't ever close enough to have him hear me. When I woke up the next morning I felt more tired than when I went to bed.
Council Planning
Since the power was still out, a likely permanent reality change, we fired up the camp stove and made scrambled eggs on the patio. Drew seemed to get a kick out of it anyway, and he hated scrambled eggs. I suppose the novelty of barbecued breakfast was fun. At least there was a glimmer of adventure to it all for him. When we were done cleaning up after breakfast Trent went around to the resource heads to put together a meeting. After a bit I heard him calling out my name. I stuck my head through the door to see what was up.
"Cal? The general consensus is that there is no time like the present for this meeting. Are you ready?"
"Sure. Lemme wash my hands real fast and I'll be down. School?"
"Yup. See you soon." He flashed me one of his awesome smiles.
I hurried through a last minute clean up and ran a brush through my hair. I truly hated my hair sometimes. Its baby fine and curly, not a great combo unless you're going for an insane Gerber baby look. Too bad that was over in the 80's. I wrapped my hair up in a "silk" scarf to hide the mess which I realized I've been doing that more often since the zombies showed up than I ever had before. Something about the end of the world just takes away hair styling.
Here I was again, putting my brain on stuff that totally doesn't matter just to not think about the stuff that did.
"Hey Drew! Come on hon. We gotta run over to Jody's place." I called. He came out of his room with an old mp3 player he had.
"Check it out. It still has a charge. I can listen to Flogging Molly and Dread Crew of Oddwood later!" He had a huge grin on his face. I wondered how many things he had in his room that he was going to be able to rediscover. That mp3 player was pretty well forgotten when he got his iPod. He had told me last night that the iPod had enough time on the battery to watch a movie or two since it had gotten almost a complete charge before the lights died, but he wanted to save that for a special night. He shut it down completely and put it away.
We talked about doing reading time at night with the e-books as an option for entertainment. We could have someone read out loud for the manufacturer's recommended 30 minutes a day. With the wifi obviously off they were supposed to hold a charge for
two months each. Trent was working on a hand crank USB charger that he had learned about in the past. I could see us now, happily reading along getting to the part of the book where the bad guy was about to be figured out. It would be then that the battery would start to go so we would have to run and get the hand crank, crank like mad for a bit get two more pages rendered and having to do it all again. Maybe this little generator run would make it so we can charge up our devices every once in a while not have to hand crank like the dark ages. Though I guess we could cope with the dead tree books. On that note, I wonder if we could talk Jody into setting up a library for everyone in the school. Maybe turn one of the bedrooms into it? We could have an adult section I bet. Trent could even build up shelves, if he made it back. All we had to do was collect the books that got left behind in the units. I realized again I was drifting my brain everywhere else. I wondered if there was a way to stop coming full circle on these thoughts. I reasoned that if I could manage to not be aware of myself distracting then the self distracting would be a great deal more effective.
"Mom? are you OK?" Drew's face was a bit lined with worry.
"Yeah baby, I'm OK. Just thinking about stuff."
"Like dad's trip?"
"Well, actually, I'm trying to not think about that. Instead I've been thinking about wearing this scarf on my head a few times in the last couple days, hand crank USB chargers for the Kindles and if I could talk Jody into starting a multiple age group library in her school. And now? Right this very second? I'm thinking you've gotten really good at raising one eyebrow at me. Like scary good."
"I've been able to get a lot of practice." Drew said almost dryly, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which gave away the game. I almost shuddered to think about his humor and the maturity to deliver the sarcasm that would be right around the corner. He was going to give all of us a run for our money.