by Shyla Colt
Rocky pressed his hand into the small of her back, gently guiding her forward and down the hall. They paused and she blinked, glancing at 403. It felt like the devil dwelled inside those four walls. Anxiety, fear and sorrow rocked her like a ship in gale-force winds.
“You should go in now. You don’t want to hesitate and regret it.”
“I know, I know.” She nodded her head. “All right. Going in.”
“I’m right here.” Rocky squeezed her waist and stepped back.
She stumbled forward with small jerky movements, like a zombie battling stiffening limbs. The cool metal handle seemed to burn her flesh as she pulled down and stepped inside. The stillness told her all she needed to know. The lack of a pulse, the stillness of her brother’s body, and the horrified expression on her parents’ faces ripped at her. Her heart broke and tears blurred her vision.
Her mother’s sobs filled the air.
The door clicked shut behind her.
Her father stood from the bedside and stalked toward her.
The quiet footfalls of his boots made her tense.
“You… From the minute you were born you brought me nothing but aggravation and bad luck,” her father hissed.
The animosity in his words made her take a step back. “What?” she whispered, stunned at his attack.
“You cast a dark cloud over this marriage—this family we never got out from under,” her father continued.
“I was just a kid, Dad. A kid who wanted you to love me,” she said.
He snorted. “Please. I don’t even know if you’re mine. Bet you didn’t know you had that in common with your mother.”
The blow made her gasp. She grabbed her chest, feeling like she was being ripped into pieces from the inside out. “Mom?” she whimpered.
“Tell her! Tell her! I know she had something to do with this. Spreading your filthy taint onto my boy. All you did was take from him. I should’ve walked away when I knew the truth. I went to boot camp, we called it quits and then we got back together. She comes up pregnant and hey, there’s a fifty percent chance I might be the father. He was white, so I looked for any signs of him in you. I never saw it, but it doesn’t mean a damn thing and I could never quite shake the feeling you didn’t belong to me,” he said.
Emotional overload made her knees buckle and she swayed on her feet.
“You have no clue how long I wanted to tell you this. God punished me a million times over for my ignorance. Now I get the bastard daughter and He takes my only son.” His voice broke and tears rolled down his face. His broad shoulders shook.
Suddenly she was drowning in everything. She spun on her heels and ran for the door. Yanking it open, she flew into the hallway.
“Evonne?” Rocky called to her.
Not able to face him, she darted off at top speed. She skidded to a halt just outside the bathroom and rushed inside. Her heart knocked against her ribs and her very soul ached. Lies, everything was nothing but lies. All the years spent trying to please him were nothing but a total loss. She’d been born under a bad sign as far as he was concerned. God, what if he’s not my father? A sick part of her hoped he wasn’t. The thought of her mother seeing two men at once seemed laughable. What had happened to her between then and now? Was that why she fell all over herself to please him, even though it clearly was an impossible feat?
She walked to the mirror and stared at her reflection, searching for any hint of her father. A miniature version of her mother, she had never been bothered that she didn’t share many of her brother’s or her father’s traits. Now it might be the key to everything. The door flew open and she jumped.
“The fuck, Firecracker?” Rocky’s nostrils flared and his eyes glared. “Why did you take off like that? What happened?”
“He’s dead.”
“Jesus Christ, mama.” Rocky stepped inside, locked the door behind him and pulled her close. “I’m sorry. It’s hard losing someone you loved.”
She snorted. “I didn’t—not really. In the most abstract sense of the word, I loved him. He was my sibling, but I didn’t know him. There was always too much in between us to ever really connect. But God, I know why now.” She laughed, and it came out as a mirthless sound.
“Shhh now, what are you talking about?”
“My dad doesn’t think I’m his,” she said.
“What?” His voice rumbled in his chest as he held her tightly.
His strong embrace did make her feel secure, despite the world falling down around her. “My mom had a—friend while they were on a break during boot camp. He came back and they picked back up—then I come and they’re not sure.”
“Fuck him, he agreed to love you like his own when he married your mom. Don’t put this shit on you. He should’ve manned up instead of growing into some bitter-ass prick.”
Evonne laughed at his description. “With you shit makes sense, Rocco.”
“Which is why I want you to be with me—”
Knocking on the door made them both jump.
“We’re starting to draw attention, brother. Might want to come out before security comes, if they haven’t already been called.” Casanova’s voice made her sigh.
“Yeah. Give us a minute,” Rocky said.
“All right,” Casanova replied.
Evonne gathered the shattered pieces of herself and put them together in a makeshift manner that would only hold for a short time.
“You good?” Rocky asked.
“Good as I’m going to get. I should see my mom.”
“I’m coming with.”
“I don—”
“Fuck that. You aren’t going into a warzone without someone to watch your back.” The determination in his voice brooked no argument.
Exhausted, she nodded. He unlocked the door and she allowed him to lead her back down the hall. Her mother’s wails of sorrow pierced her ears through the closed door and she hesitated, feeling like an outsider.
“You want to leave?” Rocky asked.
“No. I want to make sure my mom is okay first. This is the death of more than just her son.” She turned the knob and stepped inside, ignoring her father.
He stood beside the bed as stiff as the soldier he’d once been. He glared at Rocky but wisely held his tongue as they walked across the room.
Evonne knelt beside her mother, who clutched Paul’s hand. “Mom, it’s going to be okay, we’ll get you through this, okay?” The words tasted like ash. I’m a fraud comforting her when it’s my fault her son is gone.
Her mother hiccupped. “I don’t what do I do now. How can you get over this?” Her mother turned to look at her with tear-filled eyes. She’d never looked so small or broken before.
“I don’t think you ever get over it. But you can learn to live with it. Whatever you want to do I’ll help you, okay? You’re not alone.”
Her father snickered. “All of this and you still want to comfort her? Let her suffer the way she made all of us do over the years. It’s a fitting punishment.”
The words sent a chill down her spine. Her father had always been harsh but this was downright dark.
“You want to shut up or do I need to make you, old man?” Rocky sneered.
“Call off your attack dog, Evonne. People are actually mourning here.”
“Mom. I don’t want to make this harder on you. I can—I can go.” Evonne choked down her pride, ready to do what was best.
Her mother nodded her head. “I never should’ve kept all of this from you. I saw what was happening and I just—I kept quiet. I didn’t know what else to do”
“Shhh, it’s not important now, Mom. We have a chance to figure things out, okay?”
“Yes, okay.” Her mother nodded, sounding like a robot.
She released her mother’s hand. Rocky helped Evonne to her feet and she leaned over her brother.
He looked fake, lying there so still and quiet. Her brother had always been in a state of motion and commanding. This was an empty shell.
&
nbsp; She touched his hand and twitched. His temperature was dropping. Bowing her head, she said a silent goodbye to the man who’d added to so much torment over the years without knowing why. In retrospect, they’d never stood a chance, pitted against one another for reasons unknown to either of them. Until now. Respects paid, she pulled away, eager to be away from the toxic situation. “I’m ready,” she whispered.
“That’s right, leave and take your scum with you,” her father said.
She tensed. This man would lay down his life for her. Had protected her more in a handful of months than either of her parents had ever done their entire life. “Don’t you ever talk about him like that!” she growled. The words and the rebellion behind them came from a love-starved place. “He’s been better to me than you ever were, you spiteful bastard.” Her chest heaved and her heart raced. All the words she’d longed to say over the years rested on the tip of her tongue.
Rocky placed his palm on her waist and it grounded her. Not now. “You don’t have the right to judge anyone after you spent the past thirty-something years making not one but two people’s lives a living hell. Mom, call me when you’ve made arrangements.” Rocky pulled her back into his arms, making her feel encircled by protection. When they exited the room, she couldn’t help but think she had just crossed an imaginary finish line into freedom.
* * * * *
He hated situations like this when he didn’t know what the hell to say. His relationship with most of his family with the exception of Nona had been abysmal.
They’d entered the club silently and lay down for a sleepless night full of tossing and turning. He didn’t have the right words and making it worse was not an option. She’d just had a lot of shit dropped on her. He made a mental note to settle up with her father after things died down. Clearly, he’d made her life a living hell over some grudge he held against her mother. Unacceptable. Funny, how people think bikers are savage, but the dirt they do behind closed doors is far worse.
When light filtered through his window he eased out of bed, leaving Evonne to sleep as long as she could. Sometimes the escape you could only accomplish in a dreamless exhausted sleep was the best answer. He dressed and stepped out into the hall, following the delicious scent of breakfast to the kitchen. The worried faces of Evonne’s friends helping to serve the children food told him they’d been informed.
“How is she?” Juliette asked.
“Not good. Some heavy shit went down on top of her brother passing, but it’s her story to tell. She’ll need your support for sure,” Rocky said.
All three women stared at him for a second, and then they nodded in unison.
“You want bacon, eggs and sausage?” Joey asked, gesturing to a paper plate.
“Shit yeah. I’m starving,” Rocky said.
“Yeah, well me too.”
He laughed at her glum expression.
“Well, you’re eating for two.”
“You want to get killed, brother?” Moose asked, lumbering into the room with a small smile on his face.
Rocky laughed, accepting the plate Joey handed to him. “Thanks.” He turned toward Moose. “Where’s the guys?”
“Scattered around, stuffing their faces. Plan on church at noon.”
Rocky nodded. “I figured as much.” His thoughts were drawn back to their new situation.
“Church?” Joey whispered.
Rocky could see the wheels in her mind working.
Joey was scary smart and with her dad being who he was, she had an insight into the life her girlfriends lacked. “This is the first I’m hearing of it.”
“Us too, but you know this ain’t old lady business,” Moose said, gently putting her in her place.
“Yeah. I savvy. Just wondering if it was related to what we have going on. I’d like to know if there’s an end coming soon.”
“Naw, Joey, we’re keeping y’all posted on that,” Rocky said, steering them away from a knock-down-drag-out. If Boston was any indication, pregnant woman were damn feisty, and vocal, be it anger or happiness they were expressing.
“Good deal. I think I’m going to make myself a second plate and move somewhere quieter,” Joey said.
“I’ll join you,” Juliette offered.
“Me too.” Hilary stood. Her voice sounded subdued and she looked more uptight than usual. Her face had a pinched look to it. Damn, is Joey still busting her balls over yesterday? Thank God, I’m not a fucking female. He backed out of the room cautiously and headed to the tables where the others were seated.
“Hey, how’s my girl doing this morning?” Casanova asked.
“My girl is still asleep, and I can guess when she wakes up, she’ll feel pretty shitty.”
“No path on her,” Casanova muttered.
The remark made Rocky growl.
“You’d better back off, Casanova. You know he’s got one hell of a right hook,” Hawk teased.
“He does have a point though,” Shooter observed.
The shit-eating grin on his face made Rocky roll his eyes.
“I mean, what are you doing, bro? You going to wife her, old lady label her…what?” Shooter asked.
He chewed his eggs thoroughly and swallowed. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Seeing the fucking bachelor of the decade cut down by our resident number-crunching accountant? Yes, I am loving every minute of it.” Shooter took a bite of his bacon.
“Asshole,” Rocky mumbled, not about to discuss things with them before her. “Know that she’s off-limits and if you try to push up on her, I’ll cut your ass down faster than a tree.”
“And so she is properly claimed,” Casanova grumbled with a sigh. “Does she have a sister?”
“Fuck you, man,” Rocky snapped.
“These bitches your girl brought in are damn potent. I suggest everyone watch their step around Hilary,” Hawk warned.
Shooter laughed. “Harpy? Naw, a man have to be damned brave and partially suicidal to want that.”
“She’s fine as fuck. I think all she needs is someone to teach her how to shut that mouth of hers,” Hawk said.
“You trying to be that someone?” Shooter asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh hell no, I like my women uncomplicated. The one thing she’s not.” Hawk shook his head. “Too fucking complex. Thinking about it makes my head hurt. I got enough shit to deal with, without a high-maintenance bitch, no matter how sexy she is.”
Rocky snorted. The thought of Hilary with Hawk was amusing as hell. They’d butt heads constantly. With the solemn mood he’d woken with now temporarily lifted, he polished off the rest of his food.
He headed to church with no signs of Evonne. Not shocked, last night was a lot. Pushing domestic thoughts into the back of his head, he walked to the massive room at the back of the complex.
Assembled, they all quieted down as Tiny stood. “I heard about last night. I want to take care of this shit fast. Magic, Swifty, as our newest prospects your faces are unknown. This is a job for you. Be hangers-on, feign ignorance to the life with a willingness to learn. As soon as we have some decent intel, we move on this. I want it squashed before it grows. Can’t let motherfuckers think we’ve gone soft.” Tiny shook his head. “I’ve seen how drugs ravage an M.C. I won’t have that shit here. A little recreational fun is one thing, but dealing and hard shit.” Tiny shook his head.
“When are we sending them in?” Hawk asked.
“Today, you cut ties, lay low for a week or so, and then start sniffing around,” Tiny instructed.
“Yes, Prez,” they agreed in unison.
“Good. Everyone keep sharp. We’re going to make the move to the cabins tomorrow. Everyone needs to get their shit packed and ready to go tonight. I want more room and more distance between us. Out there, you’ll see a fucker coming miles away.”
Hours later, Rocky felt grateful to emerge from church. His head swam with the enormity of what might lie ahead and he worried about Evonne. He scanned the rooms, frown
ing when he came up blank. Where the hell is she?
“You looking for your girl?” Summer the bartender asked.
“Yeah, you seen her?” Rocky said.
“I think she’s out back with her friends,” Summer said, gesturing toward the hall with her head.
“Thanks, Summer, good looking out.” Rocky turned and walked down the hallway. An almost sixth sense made him pick up speed as a feeling of dread sank in. He pushed the door open and stepped outside.
“Evonne?” The fear in Juliette’s voice froze the blood in his veins. He took one look at Evonne’s overly bright eyes and the nervous gestures she made while pacing the length of the deck and a red flag waved in his mind.
“I’m fine, my brain is just racing.” Evonne shook her head.
“I understand. You’ve had a shock, but—this isn’t like you,” Hilary said.
“No, it’s not,” Rocky said. Evonne turned toward him and he approached her slowly, studying her reaction.
She wrung her hands nervously.
He tilted his head to the side. “Firecracker, what did you do?” he whispered.
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“What are you talking about?” Joey asked.
“She knows what I’m talking about.” Rocky shook his head. “I’m only going to ask you one more time. What did you do?” A few feet from her, he could see her pupils were dilated. “You took something. What was it?”
“Nothing, it was nothing.” She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair.
He rushed forward and gripped her arms tight. “Tell me now,” he growled.
“Coke—I did a half a bump,” she whispered.
His mind went blank and he threw back his head. “Fuck no, I refuse to see another person I care about strung out on this shit. How could you be so fucking stupid?” He punctuated each sentence with a shake.
“Put her down, you’ll hurt her,” Hilary yelled.