Live Free

by Shyla Colt

“As long as I wake her the fuck up, I don’t care. You don’t touch this shit, you understand? What the hell? I’ve never even seen you smoke a cigarette.”

  “I can’t live with this weight! I’m the reason Paul is dead! Me! I can’t handle it.” Her voice cracked and her shoulders shook as large tears rolled down her face.

  “You don’t ever put poison in your body. You hear me? You have no clue what you’re messing with.” Unable to feel sympathy with the memories hammering him like a battering ram, Rocky continued to rant. “I see you doing this shit again. And I’ll kick your ass.”

  “That’s enough!” Hilary yelled.

  “Bitch, you don’t tell me what’s enough. You see her?” Rocky held out Evonne. “She is high off her fucking mind right now. We need to bring her down. You want to be helpful? Get me some beer. We need to take the edge off. Bring it to my room.” He scooped Evonne into his arms and strode away. “Who gave you this shit?”

  Evonne shook her head, continuing to cry.

  “Don’t make me look. It’ll make me more pissed,” Rocky said.

  “Fancy.”

  “Fuck.” He shook his head. “Should’ve known, she’s always running from a past she can’t forget.” They reached his room, then he set her on the ground and closed the door. “Strip down, you need to get into the shower immediately. I wish there was a quick fix to this, but there isn’t. Mostly all we can do is keep you mellow while you ride this out. I never thought I’d have to worry about this with you.” Her choice felt like a betrayal. It cut him deep. He avoided looking into her face as he went through the familiar steps. His stomach knotted.

  “How do you know what to do?” she asked.

  “Not now.” He ground his teeth and focused on his task, ushering her into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and gestured for her to step inside. “Get in, take deep breaths and at the risk of sounding like a fucking fairy, think happy thoughts. You don’t want to stay in turmoil right now. Coke heightens everything,” he said.

  “Rocco.” She wrapped her hand around his wrist and leaned in, breathing heavily. “How do you know that?”

  He closed his eyes, fighting the urge to yank his arm away. “My mother was a junkie.”

  She gasped and her face looked ashen.

  He nodded. Now you see how much you fucked me. “Shower, now.”

  Suddenly subdued, she followed his direction and climbed inside.

  A knock came at the door. “Don’t you fucking move, Firecracker. I’m pissed as hell at you right now. Don’t give me more reason to be angry.”

  Twenty minutes later, he had her dressed in one of his shirts, wrapped in a blanket and propped up in the bed. Not about to leave her alone for a second, he had a whispered conversation with Moose to put the word out. Evonne would be drug-free from here on out. Anyone who didn’t comply would answer to him. He believed her when she said it was only her second time, but turning toward the white stuff for an escape was many an addict’s road to addiction.

  “Help me understand, Evonne. Why?” He peered down at the girl cuddled against his side as he tried to share his warmth.

  “I wanted to be numb, shut down. Every second of the day I’m awake, my brain is screaming at me, telling me I ruined my parents’ lives, their marriage, and…” She swallowed. “Paul’s.”

  “You can’t take all that on yourself; you’ll go insane.”

  “Hence the…recreation.”

  “How are you feeling now?” He narrowed his eyes. She appeared calmer. Like the jitters had run their course.

  “Like I’m a balloon tethered by a thin string but better than before.”

  “You have to swear to me you won’t try this stuff again, Evonne,” Rocky said.

  Her eyes widened at the sound of her given name. “I promise.”

  “My mom, she was an all-right kid until she met the wrong asshole and got knocked up. My staunch Catholic Italian family kicked her out. She scraped by with shitty jobs, hating her life, and then she discovered coke. It gave her a way to forget everything. But it warped her, made her mean, nasty and hurtful. I have very few good memories of her.” He shook his head. “I grew up, scrounging for food, avoiding the fists of her flavor of the month and watching her wither away as she whored herself out for her next fix.” His muscles tensed as he relived the horrific events of his life. “She just stopped caring about anything else. I made it until seventeen and I left. I was good with my hands, so I started fighting for money underground to support myself while I finished up high school. That’s where I found Mayhem.”

  “Oh God, Rocco.”

  “Don’t pity me. I didn’t tell you this to have that happen.”

  “I don’t—I’m not.” She stumbled over her words.

  He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t gauge her when she was like this. “I’m only telling you this so you understand how serious I am right now. No more, ever.”

  “I understand.” She bowed her head.

  At her meek sorrowful action, he winced. “Shit, Evonne, don’t look at me like I kicked you.”

  “I didn’t mean to bring up all this bad shit,” she said.

  “I know you didn’t. Life’s got a fucked-up way of sneaking up on you. Nothing stays hidden forever.” He shook his head. “And no judgment on my part. You saw a way to help you deal, and you tried it. It’s recreation for a lot of people, but I can’t handle it. I almost lost my mind when I realized you’d taken some of it. Can’t do it again,” Rocky said.

  “You won’t. I won’t.” She shook her head, her face solemn. “I know it’s time I face things head-on. Soon as I get my head back into some semblance of order.” She rubbed her temples.

  “Don’t force it.” Rocky shook his head, thinking of the times his mom had gone paranoid. “When my mom went into a bad place she got paranoid as fuck. She’d barricade us in the house, turn off all the lights and make us both lay on the floor real quiet and still. You never know what this shit will do to you. We need to keep shit as happy and even as possible.”

  Her body trembled. “What if we can’t?”

  “Hey. You and me have plenty of good shit to talk about.”

  “Like?”

  “You getting your own vest and officially becoming my old lady. Every time I try to get into the shit, something else pops off,” he said.

  “Is there some sort of ceremony or something?” she asked.

  Rocky threw his head back and laughed until his belly ached. “Naw, but they do throw a big fucking party.”

  “I think we could all use that about now,” Evonne said.

  “No shit, Firecracker,” Rocky said.

  “Can you let me settle up my mess first?” she asked.

  “Of course, but after that you’re all mine. So, you’d better let your parents know.”

  She nodded. “Don’t think they’ll be much of a problem anymore.”

  “Gotta say, you made me proud as fuck sticking up for me the other night.”

  “Everything I said was true,” she said without hesitation.

  Her frank words healed a part of his heart. “You fucking slay me every time, doll face.”

  “The feeling is mutual.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Evonne woke up the next morning, wishing everything the previous day had been a bad dream. Paul’s death had hit her hard. She peered over at the warm, gorgeous body beside her and regretted the decision she knew she had to make. Easing from bed, she grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand and crept across the room into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she placed a call to the phone number she knew by heart.

  “Hello?”

  “Levi…I’m ready to make a deal.”

  “Evonne, my sweet. You were starting to hurt my feelings with your resistance.”

  “I’ve, uh, come to my senses. I want to meet up, but only if you promise to leave my family and my friends alone,” she said.

  “Hmm, tempting, tempting. But you realize I will get yo
u eventually. So what am I gaining?” Levi asked.

  “Fun sooner and a willing participant you can teach.” She licked her lips, closing her eyes at the imagined horrors he had planned.

  “Oooh, my sweetheart wants to learn? Yes, this pleases me.” His voice deepened.

  Her stomach lurched. “Okay, do we have a deal?”

  “Yes, I think it’d kill them far more to see you on my arm.” He chuckled. “Time and place, my sweet, and remember…I’m not a patient man.”

  “Tonight or tomorrow morning. I’ll call you when I get away.”

  “See that you do. I’m not a man you want to play, Evonne. You have two more members of your family left and your mother has aged nicely. I never did mind a mature woman. I think I could show her a thing or two,” Levi said.

  “No, that won’t be necessary. I’ll find a way.”

  “See that you do.” He disconnected.

  With shaking hands, she set the phone on the counter, undressing with the heavy heart of a person about to enter prison. They were set to move today and sometime in the chaos, she needed to slip away. A feat that would be nearly impossible, given the fact Rocky was watching her like a hawk now. She stepped into the shower and wished the water could wash away all her drama. In such a short amount of time, her life had gone from a charted, controlled wonderland to complete chaos.

  Perhaps the thought of being the owner of your own destiny was bullshit. This had been like seeing behind the curtain and realizing the wizard was a fraud. In life, you got tossed about like a boat in the middle of the stormy sea and the only thing you could do was hold tight and navigate as best you could. Is this what they mean by the sins of the parents passing to the child? Thoughts of her mother brought her back to a new set of issues she’d yet to give much thought to. If my father isn’t my father, who the hell is?

  She emerged from the shower, feeling like concrete shoes had been taped to her feet. This would be her goodbye. A tentative plan had been hatched, but the thought of pulling it off made her queasy. Walking into the lion’s den was never wise. But she’d be damned sure she didn’t go in defenseless. For once, she applauded the things her father had forced her to learn. Feeling like a snake slithering in the grass, she walked back into the room and studied Rocky.

  With his beautiful features relaxed in sleep, he looked younger. While she would never admit it aloud, he had the face of an angel, a warrior covered in lean muscle and olive skin. Strands of his ebony tresses fell over his forehead and she smiled, pleased that only she got to see him this way. She walked over to the bed and sank down on the edge, brushing the hair from his forehead as she traced his brow and the strong jawline that kept his beauty masculine.

  Rocky stirred and his eyes fluttered open.

  “Morning, gorgeous,” she said softly.

  He moistened his lips with his tongue and cleared his throat. A lazy smile appeared on his tempting lips. “Shouldn’t I be pitching you that line?”

  “Turnabout is fair play. I hate that your lashes are longer than mine,” she said.

  He laughed. “Genetics, mama. And don’t let anyone else hear you say that girly shit. It might challenge my manhood.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” she said, mocking his way of speaking.

  He tossed his head back and really laughed hard, then he lowered his gaze to hers. “Fuck, you’re getting even sassier. I guess I need to teach you a lesson about mouthing off.”

  “You could try.” She placed her hands on her hips, knowing he loved it.

  “I’ll do more than try.” He sat up and pulled her to him.

  She squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck as she giggled. He made her feel young and full of possibility again. Shoving the rest of the things going on around her to the darkest depths of her mind, she let herself get lost in this man and the things he made her feel. Curling her fingers into his soft hair, she massaged his scalp.

  He growled. “You playing with fire.”

  “Isn’t that my thing, seeing as how you dubbed me Firecracker?”

  He cupped her ass and squeezed. “Now, this is a sight I’d like to wake up to every morning, you in nothing but a towel, all warm and soft.” He rolled them over and pinned her under his body.

  She spread her legs, cradling his lithe body. Her pussy grew moist with anticipation. Her nipples tightened and the cotton teased the sensitive buds. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and her eyes drifted shut as she explored his mouth, etching the memory into her mind. This might be the last time she saw him. She sucked on his tongue.

  Rocky growled, moving back and ripping away the barrier. “So fucking beautiful. I love your body.” He leaned back on his heels and cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her puckered nipples. “My responsive Firecracker, you going to blow for me?” He moved down her body, spreading her legs wider.

  * * * * *

  The ride and move seemed to go swiftly and fairly smoothly. The brothers all looked tense and on edge. They probably wouldn’t relax until they were moved into the new compound.

  Evonne tugged on Rocky’s jacket, a signal that she needed a restroom break about half a mile from the exit. He moved into the far right lane and her heart began to race. This was it. The do-or-die moment that would define her life and affect many others. Her stomach gurgled and her guts tangled into a twisted pile of misery knots. They exited and she mentally ran over her plan. He’d wait out front while she went into the bathroom and she had maybe ten minutes tops before he came looking for her.

  She knew this gas station well. It had clean restrooms and some of the best gas prices. There was a window big enough for a body to fit through that faced the back of the building. Rocky would be waiting at the end of the hall, like he always had since the craziness began. If she hauled ass, she could make it to the mini-mall up the road, hide and call Levi.

  A sick sense of happiness welled up in her chest, quieting the fear and anxiety. He would never hurt anyone she cared about again. The reassurance she’d tucked in the back of her pants practically burned her skin. She squirmed on the seat beside him. Can I actually do this?

  Rocky brought the bike to a stop in front of the building and they climbed off. He flanked her, shielding her body with his as they walked inside the crowded station and made a beeline for the back. “I’ll hang back here,” Rocky said, posting himself against the wall at the start of the corridor.

  Evonne nodded, averting her eyes. The man had a way of seeing into her soul. Walking down the hallway, she said a silent prayer for strength and understanding once he figured out what she’d done.

  Silence greeted her as she entered the room and crouched down to search for feet. Coast clear, she locked the door behind her and jogged to the window, thanking her training with Rocky for the upper arm strength she’d developed. She pushed the window open, hefted herself up and gingerly slid through the opening, hoping she didn’t bust her head on the unforgiving concrete. Sliding down the side of the wall like Spiderman on drugs. Arms scraped, but virtually unharmed, she stood and took off away from the building. Tears blurred her vision as she pumped her arms and legs, using every bit of strength she had to take her farther and farther away from safety.

  By the time she reached the strip mall her lungs burned. She dialed the number she knew by heart.

  “So anxious to see me.”

  “I have to ditch this phone. They have a trace on it. Send a cab to meet me at the gas station on Fourth and Main in…fifteen minutes.”

  “Are you playing games with me?”

  “No. You would draw attention and I’m trying to fly under the radar.” The sound of bikes in the distance grew closer. “I have to go.” She hung up the phone, pulling the battery and tossing it into the nearest trash can, then she entered the first store in the strip and walked to the ATM. Pulling out the max of two-hundred dollars, she made her way down to the store on the end of the road. She bought a big, baggy t-shirt, a hooded sweater and gym shoes. Shoving her hair up in
to the black hood, she hunched her shoulders, kept her head down and changed her gait. Careful to remain unhurried, she held her breath as the cycles began to pour into the parking lot.

  As soon as the noise receded into the background and she neared her destination a part of her rejoiced, while the other half fell into a pit of despair. Now, there is really no turning back.

  When she reached the gas station and saw the yellow cab waiting, she couldn’t help but feel as if it were a hearse about to take her to the spot where she would take her final breath. She walked over to the cab and opened the door.

  “Headed to Roll, miss?” the kind-eyed Asian man with an easy smile and coal-black hair pulled back into a ponytail asked.

  “Yes.” She nodded and slipped inside, closing the door behind her. He pulled away from the station and she slumped down in the seat. Pop music came through the radio, setting up a twisted upbeat soundtrack to the dark dealings going on. Resting her head against the window, she reminded herself of all the reasons this move made sense. The weight of Paul’s death hung around her neck like a noose ready to be used at a moment’s notice. Anything else would destroy her. A quick death would be far better than a slow one lived over the course of her life.

  Guilt gnawed at her belly, bolstering her courage. They pulled up in front of a small home she’d never laid eyes on before. The cottage-style building and the middle-class neighborhood didn’t fit Levi. No wonder we couldn’t find him.

  “Here you are, everything’s already been paid for. You enjoy the rest of your day.” The man grinned.

  Silent, she nodded, stepping out of the cab. Heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she walked forward on unsteady legs.

  The door opened and Levi stood in a pair of smartly pressed black pants and a button-up shirt of the same hue. His expensive black loafers practically gleamed in the sunlight.

  His beautiful features no longer held her interest. She recognized the perfectly groomed façade for what it was now. A way to hide the monster lurking beneath.

  A pompous expression crossed his face as he leered down at her.