by Jae
"Then take them! You don't have to play the hero with me." With a loud clink, Dawn set a glass of water down in front of Aiden.
Aiden still made no move to get the pills. "I don't –"
Dawn closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she opened them again. "Please. I don't like seeing you in pain." In fact, she hated it.
Aiden's eyes met hers, and without further discussion, Aiden rose and returned with two white pills, which she swallowed.
Heaving a sigh of relief, Dawn began to set the table.
"I'm sorry." Aiden stepped behind her and covered Dawn's hand, which had just laid a fork on the table, with her own. "I know I'm a terrible patient, but I'm not used to being fussed over."
Dawn turned and wrapped her arms around Aiden's waist, careful not to exert any pressure on her chest. "I'm sorry for fussing."
"No, no, I like it." Aiden's hands, warm against her back, squeezed her gently.
Dawn laughed. "It makes you crazy."
Aiden pressed a kiss to the crown of Dawn's head. "Hmm, maybe I like crazy?"
Dawn closed her eyes and relaxed into the embrace. Being so close to Aiden, feeling her breath warm her neck, and inhaling her scent made it difficult to think about how easily Aiden could have been taken away from her. After another minute, she forced herself to move back. "Come on. Let's eat while it's still warm."
After lunch, Dawn busied herself with the dishes and directed Aiden to the couch. The simple fact that Aiden wasn't protesting told her how groggy she was. When she had put away the last plate, Dawn tiptoed into the living room.
Aiden was lying back on the couch, her eyes closed.
Intent on not waking her, Dawn snuck across the room to retrieve her coat.
"Are you trying to steal my TV set?" Aiden's voice made her jerk, and Aiden chuckled. "I'm not asleep, just resting like you told me to. Do you have to get back to the office?"
Is that her way of asking me to stay a little longer? Dawn hoped it was, for she had no intention of leaving Aiden without addressing the shooting and the emotions it had caused in both of them. "No, I'm done for the day. I just wanted to let you sleep without interrupting."
"I haven't done anything but laze around since yesterday, so how could I be sleepy?" Aiden sat up and patted the space she had just cleared on the couch next to her. "Let's see if anything interesting is on."
Dawn settled down at the end of the couch, curling one leg under her. She watched in silence as Aiden turned on the TV and flicked through various channels. A passionate kiss between two soap characters flashed across the screen, rapidly followed by a single cop chasing down a suspect.
"Ha! If I'd done that, I wouldn't have made it out of the Academy." Aiden finally settled on a documentary about a team that was trying to climb Mount Everest.
Not calm enough to settle down and get lost in other people's lives, Dawn shifted her legs.
"Why don't you make yourself comfortable?" Aiden said and reached out a hand to draw Dawn toward her. "Come on, lean back against me. I promise I won't bite."
"That's not a good idea. You're in enough pain as it is. Why don't you lean back against me?"
Aiden's hand froze on Dawn's arm. For a moment, she just stared at her. "Uh... okay. I guess that works, too."
Dawn slipped behind Aiden and leaned back against the arm of the couch. She rested one leg along the back of the couch and set the other foot on the floor. With an inviting smile, she patted the empty space in between her legs.
Inch by inch, Aiden moved toward her. She stopped when her back was barely touching Dawn's body.
Knowing that the stiff, upright position could not be comfortable, Dawn wrapped an arm around Aiden's waist and drew her back.
"I'm too heavy." Aiden tried to resist.
"Nonsense. I'm not made of glass. I can take it." Dawn exerted more pressure, and Aiden finally allowed herself to sink back against her body. Tension vibrated in the muscles under Dawn's hand. Clearly, Aiden was not used to being held, more comfortable with the protective stance of the "holder" than with the more vulnerable position of the "holdee."
The team in the documentary had almost made it to the summit when Dawn finally felt Aiden relax. Her head came to rest against Dawn's shoulder, and the white dressing brushed against her cheek whenever Aiden moved. Dawn hastily directed her gaze away from the reminder of Aiden's injury. She didn't want to bring up that particular subject now that she had gotten Aiden to relax. Following the contours of Aiden's ear with her eyes, she then lifted a finger and traced the rim of the ear. "Your ears are really cute." They were. The small ears, left free by Aiden's short hair, somehow reminded her of Aiden's softer, more vulnerable side.
"What?"
"Your ears," Dawn repeated, "they're cute."
"My ears?" Aiden craned her neck to look back at Dawn.
Dawn's shrug moved the body that was lying half on top of her. "Yeah, I like them. They're very... kissable." She enjoyed the shiver that raced through Aiden as her lips graced Aiden's ear. Her own body was virtually vibrating with Aiden's closeness. "Hasn't anybody ever complimented you on your ears?"
"No." Aiden laughed, her voice a little rough. "Most of my dates tell me they like my smile or my eyes, and the more daring ones comment on my breasts or my ass. I remember one woman who had an obsession with my arms, but no one ever paid any attention to my ears."
Dawn grazed the almost microscopic hairs on the earlobe with her fingernail, sending another shudder through Aiden. "Well, then it's high time that someone made up for that neglect." Dawn looked down at the body in her arms, debating with herself if she should voice the thoughts going through her head. "That's not to say that I don't like your eyes and your smile and the way your arms feel when they hold me or that I don't think what I've seen of your ass and your breasts is awe-inspiring. I do. But still, your ears are cute."
Aiden raised herself up on one elbow and half turned to smile at Dawn. "While you're already lying down on a couch... please tell me, Doctor, when did your ear fetish start?"
Dawn chuckled. "Well, I guess that would be around the time that I met you."
With a suppressed groan, Aiden sank back against her human backrest. Using the muscles in her shoulder was still painful.
Having divided her attention between her own thoughts and watching Aiden, Dawn looked up in surprise when Aiden flicked the remote and turned off the TV. They lay in silence. "I want to stay the night," Dawn said.
Aiden's stunned silence matched her own. Dawn hadn't planned to invite herself.
"Um... you want to...?" Aiden's gaze darted in the direction of the bedroom, then back to search Dawn's face.
Dawn was thankful that Aiden was in front of her and couldn't see her blush. "I want to sleep with you... next to you. Just sleep if that's okay with you."
"Of course it is. I don't feel very adventurous right now," Aiden said. "But my bed is not exactly king-sized. Will you be comfortable sleeping so close?"
Dawn's shoulders moved like the wings of a wounded bird. "I don't know. I haven't slept... stayed with anyone since... since I was raped." She forced the words from her lips. "Just Jamie, and that attempt didn't work out too well."
Aiden rose and turned to face her. "If you're uncomfortable at any time, tell me and I'll sleep on the couch."
"If anyone sleeps on the couch, it'll be me," Dawn made her voice firm, "but let's try the bed first, hmm? Do you need help in the bathroom?"
Aiden stared at her as if Dawn's words made no sense to her, and then she blinked a few times. "No, thanks, I've been able to manage that on my own since I was three."
The urge to slap Aiden on the head rose, but knowing she was hurt there too, she held herself back. "You weren't bruised and battered when you were three."
"Thanks, I can manage," Aiden said again. She disappeared into the bathroom.
Dawn heard the water start and then, after a few minutes, the clank of a toothbrush that was placed back into its glass. The w
ater was turned off, but Aiden didn't return. Dawn was just about to knock when Aiden called through the closed door, "Dawn?"
"Yes?" She cracked the door open just enough to peek in.
Aiden had changed out of her jeans and into a pair of pajama pants but was still wearing her shirt. With a helpless, defeated gesture, she held her sleep-shirt out to Dawn. "Raising my arms over my head hurts like hell. I barely managed earlier."
Without a word, Dawn directed her to sit on the closed toilet and lean forward. She grabbed the hem of the shirt and carefully raised it higher on Aiden's back. With gentle fingers she pushed the fabric past the dressing on Aiden's head until the shirt fell free on Aiden's front and she could pull it off by its sleeves.
When she reached for the sleep-shirt that she had placed over Aiden's knees, her gaze was directed downward. From the upper edge of the bra that she forced herself not to linger on, a dark bruise extended up to the collarbone. Before she was aware of it, her fingertips touched the swollen, purple skin. The knowledge that a bullet could have pierced the skin she was caressing made her breath catch.
"Um... Dawn?" Aiden's voice was husky, and Dawn suddenly noticed the goose bumps covering the skin on her chest and arms.
Another blush heated her skin as Dawn stilled her hand on Aiden's chest. "The bra... um... do you want it on or off?"
Aiden looked up at Dawn. Her amber eyes glowed. "Off, please."
Quickly, before she could lose her composure, Dawn reached around Aiden and unfastened the clasp. She tried not to watch as the bra straps slipped off strong shoulders but concentrated solely on wrestling the sleep-shirt over Aiden's head. She knew that she was not ready to act out all the sensual images racing through her mind.
When she finally had Aiden dressed again, she was as breathless as Aiden. "There. That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Bad?" Aiden smirked. "It was torture – and I don't mean the damn bruise. That was not how I imagined the first time you saw me naked."
Dawn leaned back against the sink, letting the porcelain cool her overheated skin. "Ah, so you imagined that, huh?"
Aiden shot her a glance. "Let's not go into details right now."
"All right. And just for your information: I didn't really look."
"I know. Your parents raised a real gentlewoman." Aiden stood and slipped past Dawn, placing a kiss on her cheek as their bodies lightly brushed against each other in the narrow space in front of the sink. "There should be towels and a toothbrush in the cupboard."
Ten minutes later, Dawn entered the bedroom. She stopped in front of the bed and looked down at it, tugging on the T-shirt that hung loosely and reached almost to her knees on her smaller frame.
"Cute," Aiden commented from the bed.
Dawn glanced down at the image on the front of the shirt. "I didn't peg you for a 'Finding Nemo' girl, Detective."
"It was a present from Ray's daughters."
Dawn slipped under the covers that Aiden held up for her. She fiddled with the blanket, trying to tuck her bare feet in, and then pounded her pillow into submission.
"You know, you actually have to lie still to fall asleep," Aiden said.
Dawn rolled around and wrapped her arms around the pillow. "I don't want to go to sleep. Not yet."
Aiden flashed a grin at her. "Let's see... what other things are there to do in bed when you're not alone but with a wildly attractive woman..."
"Talking," Dawn suggested.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have a one-track mind?" Aiden tried to sit up but sank back down with a groan "Okay, okay, I know I promised you we would talk about what happened."
Dawn rolled around. She let her head come to rest against Aiden's uninjured shoulder. "So, what did happen?"
"We tried to chase down a murderer, but a witness gave us the wrong address and we knocked on the door of the wrong apartment. The perp must have heard us and panicked. When I turned around, he was right behind me."
Aiden's tone was matter-of-fact, but Dawn could hear the underlying tension. "You shot him?"
"Yes. There was no time for –"
"You don't have to explain." Dawn knew that Aiden was hypersensitive to anything that would make her appear violent and aggressive. Aiden was neither, but sometimes she needed to be reminded of that. "I've heard stories like that hundreds of times. It was a situation of him or you, and I'm glad it was him."
Aiden gave a curt nod.
Dawn interlaced her fingers with Aiden's, their palms pressed together. "Were you scared?"
"No, it all happened too fast. Ray was panicking more than me." Aiden laughed.
Dawn just looked at her, silently raising an eyebrow.
Aiden sighed. "Okay, so it was a little scary there for a minute while I was lying there, hurting like hell and gasping for breath, not knowing if the bullet had penetrated the vest or not."
"Why didn't you have someone call me?"
"It was pure chaos, nobody thought –"
"Nobody thought I'd want to know that my... my girlfriend had been shot?" Dawn struggled to sit up without pulling her hand away from Aiden's.
"I wasn't shot; the vest caught it."
Dawn knocked her pillow off the bed. "Don't get technical with me. Why didn't you call me?"
Aiden stared at the ceiling for a moment before she sighed and looked back to Dawn. "I didn't want to scare you after all you've been through with your dad and your brother."
"I understand that, and I appreciate that you want to protect me, but can we make a deal?"
"A deal?" Aiden's fingernails teased the inside of Dawn's wrist, and she squirmed in an attempt not to giggle. "I confess all my sins to you, and you're gonna put in a good word with your boss for me?" She pointed their entwined hands upward.
Dawn pinched her thigh with her free hand. "I'm a psychologist, not a priest."
"Ah, yes, of course. So, what's the deal?"
"I want you to share yourself with me – and no, this is not a come-on." Dawn watched Aiden's face for any reaction. She was laying down the ground rules for their relationship, and if Aiden didn't accept them, Dawn didn't want to think about the consequences. "I know your job requires emotional distance. I know you have to erect barriers to protect yourself from all the evil you see as a detective. But I need something else from you to make this... to make us work."
Aiden's nod urged her to continue.
"I need to know you – the whole you, not just the parts you allow your colleagues to see. I want to share your pain and your fears as well as the good things in your life."
Aiden closed her second hand around Dawn's fingers. "You already have enough pain and fears of your own. You don't need to carry my burdens, too."
"Yes! Yes, I do." Dawn squeezed as hard as she could. "A relationship can't be a one-way street. I told you I want to be an equal partner for you. Don't you understand?" She shook Aiden's hand. "You have to trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. If you can't sleep because some bastard hurt a child, I want to know. If the precinct's coffeemaker bit the dust and you had a crappy day, I want to know. If Kade lost a case that meant something to you, I want to know. If you get a paper cut while writing reports, I want to know. If you need a hug or a kiss or a bowl of chicken broth –"
"You want to know," Aiden provided with a smile.
"Yes, and then I want to be the one to hug you and kiss you and cook chicken soup for you," Dawn added impulsively.
Aiden looked stunned, and then, after a minute of silence, she smiled. "Did you propose to me just now?"
Dawn's lips automatically echoed the smile, but hers was a little sad. "No. I'm not in a position to do that. It wouldn't be fair to you if I made promises I'm not sure I can keep."
"Promises you can't keep?" Aiden raised herself up on her knees. "What promises are we talking about?"
"I know that your other relationships –"
"I told you I didn't do relationships – at least not successful ones. There's no reason to compare yourself
to anything or anyone who has been in my life before. You win, hands down."
Okay. Dawn could see that she would have to be more direct than that. She took a deep breath. "I'm talking about your... our sex life – or the lack thereof." She gestured to their fully clothed bodies that were not touching anywhere but at their fingers.
Aiden's gaze followed the direction Dawn's had taken. "So, you think just because you don't sleep with me at the drop of a hat means that it would be unfair to expect a full commitment on my part?"
For someone who usually avoided all talks about intimacy issues, Aiden had paraphrased her thoughts with amazing accuracy. Dawn nodded.