The Barn was a good place though. Nice clientele, good tippers for the most part, a solid staff. There weren’t a lot of managers to make things tough on you. Most of the staff were career—some had been working here for twenty years. Rebecca was the other most recent hire and she was one of the few non-townies on staff. Kess thought she knew why people were inclined to stick around: Griff treated everyone who worked here like family. For people like her, who didn't have any to speak of, it was a comfort.
He reminded Kess a little of her father. He and Griff didn't have much in common on the surface, but they were both responsible men who took care of people, although in different ways. She and her father hadn't been close, not really. He'd saved most of his time and attention for the needs of the clan, but he'd always been a presence in her life.
Initially, after she first left Miami, she would call every few months and leave a message that she was okay. She always dialed from a disposable phone and tossed it soon after--she made sure that she was almost done with the phone before she called in case it could be traced. She hated the idea of her father worrying about her. She tried to time her calls for when he would be unable to answer--she wasn't sure if she'd be able to stay away or keep quiet if she heard his voice. While he might have been a distant man, she had never doubted his love for her or her brother. He just didn't seem to have a good way of showing it; it was as if, after the death of her mother, he had walled himself off from anything else that might bring him pain. He kept them at arm's length to protect himself.
The last time she'd called him, he had actually picked up. Kess hadn't been expecting that, but she probably should have. Her father was probably primed to answer any strange or blocked number that appeared on his caller ID on the off chance it might be her.
Her breath caught in her throat when his sleepy voice answered. "Hi Dad," she said, surprised at the tears she felt in her eyes. She hadn't realized how much she missed him.
"Kess?" He went from slumbering to alert in an instant. She could hear the relief in his voice. "Honey, where are you? You need to come home."
"I'm fine, Dad. But I can't come home and I can't tell you where I am. I just wanted you to know I was okay."
"I can't pretend I understand this, Kess. What happened? Why did you leave?"
She'd ignored his questions. There wasn't enough time to get into it now--she was calling him while she was at work. She couldn't tell her father why she left. It would cause a rift between him and Sek, possibly a rift in the entire clan. They couldn't afford to splinter off, to take sides. Kess might not have been involved in the daily running of the clan's affairs, but she had eyes and a working brain. She knew that the clan wasn't getting any larger, and she couldn't remember the last time one of the females had gotten pregnant, let alone gave birth.
"I'm good. I don't want you to worry." Her tears spilled over, and she felt more alone than she had in months. There was another reason Kess wouldn't tell her father what Sek had tried to do to her. She was afraid of what she might see in his eyes if he knew. Of what she might hear in his voice. What if he blamed her? What if he couldn’t stand the sight of her anymore? As much as she missed him and wanted his help, she wasn't going to risk it. Better a self-imposed exile than a real one.
"Kess, I..."
"Please, Dad. Stop trying to find me." She heard someone calling for her--her break was over. "I've got to go."
"Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?" He sounded desperate to keep her on the line.
"Call off the goon squad," she said. "I love you, Dad."
"If I do, will you promise to call me any time you need help?"
"Dad, I..."
"Promise me, Kess. I'll call them off if you promise." There was a firmness in his voice that meant he spoke the truth.
She sighed. "Okay. I promise."
"I don't like this, Kess. But I love you. If you feel like you need to do this...well, I'm here for you." He sounded so sad. "I just wish you would tell me why."
She almost told him then. But the manager was yelling for her to come take over her tables. But she couldn't let him go without giving him some hint, a clue as to why she left. "And watch out for Sek." She ended the call before she had to explain further. She hadn't been sure of what she'd meant by that when she said it: whether she meant it as a warning for her father or to him. Sek was her brother and she missed the brother he once was to her, but she also knew what he could be driven to do. She wanted her father to be safe.
A few weeks later, a large envelope came to her at work. There was no return address on it, and the restaurant’s address had been typed. When she opened it on her break, she found several thousand dollars in small bills and a handwritten note in her father's familiar scrawl. It had read, Be well. All my love. She'd pocketed the money, unshed tears making her vision blurry. She made plans to leave that night. Even if her father respected her wishes, it didn't mean that Sek would.
That had been in New Mexico. It had been her longest stay by far; she'd been there almost six months before she'd had to flee for California.
She didn’t like thinking about her father. It made her homesick. She must be tired. She didn't want to think about things like that, not when the night had gone so well. Kess let her eyes travel around the room. Even the people at the bar were calm, a pretty quiet crowd for a bar. The college bars were where the students would be. Here it looked to be local businessmen, some husbands and wives having a nightcap before heading home. A few young couples on dates, maybe. Her eye passed the entrance and she saw Cormac walk in.
In the low light he looked even taller--over six feet easy, though probably not as tall as Bran, who was Kess’ new gold standard for huge individuals. And he was very good looking in that woodsman sort of way. He had on jeans and a heavy, dark work shirt over a dark tee that only enhanced his rough and ready appeal. He was completely comfortable in his own skin--a trait Kess envied--and his confidence just made him more attractive.
"Order up, Kess," Griff appeared at her elbow, setting down a huge plate of food. "Hey Mac!" He threw a wave to his nephew.
Cormac looked over in their direction and waved back. He said something to the bartender, then walked over to her table. Kess tucked her hair behind her ears nervously and began to unwrap her silverware from the napkin. He is not coming over here, she told her stomach which had started to do some strange fluttery thing. He may be smokin’ but it didn’t mean she needed to be all girly about it. He was probably just going to talk to Griff in the back anyway.
He stopped next to her table. She looked up to find him smiling down at her. "Can I join you?"
"Sure." She gestured to the empty chair opposite her. "Do you mind if I eat?"
"Nope." He got a look at her plate and she saw his eyebrows raise in surprise, but he didn't mention anything.
Kess had taken a few bites of her steak--which was absolute heaven--and the bartender had dropped off a cup of coffee for Cormac, when he finally spoke. "Thanks for letting me sit with you." Then, suddenly serious, he said, "I really am sorry about the other day. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
She took another bite, appraising him as she chewed. He looked at her with hooded grey eyes, obviously unhappy that he might have offended her. She found it rather sweet.
"You did make up for it with the car. Penance, remember?" She smiled. He looked relieved.
She felt her smile spread into a real grin as she decided to really let him off the hook. "I used to cocktail at a dive in Memphis. It would take a lot more than a few stares to make me uncomfortable." She shook a finger at him. "It still was rude though. Nobody likes being gawked at."
"Teaching me a lesson?"
"Did it work?"
He shook his head, a rueful smile on his face. "So you're from Memphis?"
"Among other places. I didn't stay long." She was glad she had her dinner to keep her hands busy.
"Did you see Graceland?"
"Of course," Kess answered
, mock offended. "Elvis is the king."
"You like Elvis then." He said it as if he was taking a census.
"Everybody likes Elvis. He's ELVIS."
"Where are you from originally? You don't sound southern." Cormac took a sip of his coffee, watching her the whole time.
"You ask a lot of questions." Kess looked at his hands rather than meet his gaze. They cupped the coffee mug gently and she traced the lines of his long fingers with her eyes.
"Can't help it. You make me curious." He put his mug down, hands uncurling from the white ceramic.
She pointed her fork at him. "Curiosity killed the cat, you know."
"Good thing I'm not one." He gave her a smirk.
But I am, she thought. Sort of. She had relaxed now that her stomach was full. He was flirting with her. But was she seriously flirting back? She couldn’t date anyone! It was just a bad idea, and not because she could turn into a big black cat at will. Relationships were not something she could afford right now, not with Sek and her father tracking her.
She decided to move the conversation away from her. "Those guys you were with—friends?"
Cormac nodded. "And cousins. They're Griff's sons. Burke and the one so obsessed with you is Finnegan—everyone calls him Finn."
"Do you have a lot of family around here?" Kess put her chin in her palm, elbow resting on the table.
"Yeah. I've got an older brother and younger sister, and there's Griff's family. There's some other extended family too. We've got a pretty big clan and we've been in this same area for generations. What about you? Big family?"
Kess frowned at the use of clan; it reminded her too much of Sek and her family in Miami. She took another forkful of food to buy some time. Finally she said, "Nothing much to tell. No family. Just a waitress at your uncle's restaurant."
"That's not all you are."
She stopped, staring at Cormac across the table. What did he mean by that? Did he know something--had she somehow given away what she was? "I'm sorry?"
Cormac smiled again. "Waitressing is what you do. It's not who you are."
Kess looked down at her plate. That was the problem, right there. She didn't know who she was. Or who she wanted to be. She just knew what she didn't want to be, but there wasn't a fix for that.
She looked up to tell him she should go and was caught in his gaze. He stared at her as if she were the only thing in the world worth having and it made her shudder. How could he look at her like that? If he knew what she was, she doubted he'd be able to look at her at all.
She dropped her eyes, uncomfortable. "So you and Rebecca, huh?"
He sounded irritated when he spoke. "There is no me and Rebecca. And don't think I didn't notice the change of subject."
Kess soldiered on, trying to keep the conversation from coming back to her again. "She thinks there is."
"Some people think they are really blue people from another planet but they are just as mistaken."
She chuckled at the thought of Rebecca as an alien. Cormac grinned hugely. Kess realized she hadn't laughed in a long time. "Okay, no you and Rebecca."
"No me and Rebecca," he confirmed. Staring at her, he said softly, "She's not who I'm interested in."
Kess looked down again, playing with the remnants of her meal. There was a longing welling up inside her that made her want to cry. She didn't know if she'd hurt him even if she could date him. But dating wasn't something she could risk; she wasn't staying. If she stayed too long Sek would find her. And if she happened to be with someone else when Sek found her...she didn't want to think of that.
"Hey," Cormac said, still softly, for her ears alone. The concern in his voice almost made her tremble with a need she couldn't name. "Is something wrong?" His hand lightly touched hers.
She looked up quickly, then slid from her chair. "I need to go." She gathered up her bag, holding it in front of her like a shield. She needed to get away.
He stood up. "I'll walk you out."
"No, stay here." She tried to slide past him.
"I'll walk you out," he said again, this time with an undercurrent of iron in his voice. "It's late and you don't need to walk out to your car alone."
Kess almost laughed. The only person she had to worry about was hundreds of miles away in Miami. Cormac was nice and all, too nice maybe, but she couldn’t risk getting involved with anyone, let alone a human guy who wouldn’t understand why she’d have to bolt eventually. And he wouldn’t stand a chance against her brother.
He kept pace with her and she knew she was acting like a mental patient. She slammed through the doors, shivering as the cold air whipped at her. That steadied her a little and she was able to rein in the emotions that were running too close to the surface. She looked up at the sky, searching for the moon that she knew was slowly fading to a sliver and would soon be nothing at all. Cormac walked beside her as they crossed the front parking lot, headed for the back lot that was reserved for overflow parking and employees. Only a few cars were in it at this time of night.
They came to a stop in front of her blue Civic. She fumbled in her bag for the keys, but dropped them in her haste. Cormac leaned down and picked them up, then turned and unlocked her door. But before she could open it, he leaned against the door and said, "All I want is the chance to get to know you, Kess. I don't bite, I promise." He moved away and handed her the keys.
She took them from him slowly, not sure what to say to that. He was nice and normal and imminently dateable, and she couldn’t have him so it was stupid to keep entertaining this fantasy. She wasn’t staying. "Yeah, I know you don’t," she finally said. The problem was that she knew someone who did. She quickly got in her car and drove off.
She checked her rearview mirror before she turned onto the main road and Cormac still stood in the parking lot, staring after her. She felt that fluttery sensation in her stomach again and silently told those butterflies to go straight to hell.
They didn't listen.
CHAPTER NINE
Cormac walked down Queen Street, backpack slung over one shoulder. It was a Saturday and actually sunny for once. Autumn tended to be rainy in the mountains but when you got a clear day, it was like nothing else in the world. He'd just finished with his Bio study group--it was a cram session for the last test before the final exam--and now he planned to hit the Parkway for some hiking.
He looked into the store windows as he passed them: art supplies, bookstore, head shop, laundromat. He slowed as he walked by the laundromat, the windows half fogged from the heat of the dryers. He saw a familiar dark head bent over a book.
Should he go in? The last time they'd been together had been a little strange. He'd been doing alright, he'd thought, making her laugh, getting her to open up a little bit. He hadn't expected that part to be so hard--all the girls he had dated loved to talk about themselves. It was getting them to stop talking that was usually the problem. But Kess, well with her it was like chopping down a tree with a spork. He had no idea what he'd done wrong besides telling her that he was interested in her.
Still, one good thing had come out of their talk—out in the fresh air he'd gotten a good chance to smell Kess' scent. To wolves every human had a signature scent: Kess' was spicy, like cinnamon and something else he couldn't name, mixed with the heady aroma of sunshine--not the mountain sunshine that dappled the trees in the woods where he and his pack ran. No, she was deep tropical sunshine, the blinding heat that made your limbs heavy and slow until the relief of nighttime. It was intoxicating to him, so different from anything he'd smelled before.
Remembering her scent decided him. He’d been honest with her that night—he did want to get to know her. He still did.
Pushing open the door, Cormac felt like he was being beaten with a wet washcloth. Way too hot. He was glad he never had a reason to spend a lot of time in laundromats. He shucked off his overshirt and walked over to Kess. She was wearing a tattered sweatshirt and sweatpants and looked like any other college student down to their la
st set of clean clothes. He realized he hadn't even asked if she was a student here.
She was reading Pride and Prejudice. He cleared his throat, but she didn't hear him. "Kess?"
She startled, eyes flashing up. He stared, struck again by their unusual color. "I, um, saw you through the window." Man, that was deeply lame. Maybe he should ask Finn for some pointers.
"Hi Cormac." She pulled her feet down off the bench. He sat down. And had no idea what to say. Great. The lameness was in full effect.
"That for class?" He pointed at the book.
She looked down at the book spread in her hand. "No. I'm not in school."
"You're not? I kind of assumed you were." She shook her head, eyes distant. "So what are you doing here if you're not a student, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Working. Today, I'm doing my laundry. It's a thrill-a-minute life I lead, let me tell you." Her voice was dry.
Cormac laughed. "Yeah, you're not really missing anything."
He'd just said it to have something to say, but the look on her face made him wish he'd kept his mouth shut. She looked so wistful for just a second and then the expression was gone from her face. He wished Burke was here to slap him upside the head.
"You headed to campus?" She gestured to his backpack. Cormac was grateful for the subject change.
"Study group. Just finished up. I was going to head to the Parkway." She looked confused. "Blue Ridge Parkway--you can drive it just to look at the mountains, but there are lots of places to hike and walk and commune with nature if you're into that sort of thing. Get away from everything that's bothering you." He smiled at her, struck with an idea. "You wouldn't want to come with me, would you?"
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