The one who had never come to visit, and whom she missed more than any other, had been Paulus. Despite asking her other visitors to entreat him to come see her, he had stayed away, and it tore at her heart. She wanted to apologize, to beg forgiveness, on her knees if she must, but she could not clear her conscience and make it up to him if he refused to even hear her pleas.
A twin to that pain was the thought of Karan. Every time she closed her eyes to sleep, she saw the whip savage his back, and she remembered the look he gave her just before Haakon began whipping him. The memory still brought tears to her eyes. The only ones who had, with sidelong glances and in hushed voices, answered her questions about him had been Haakon and Septimus.
“No one sees him,” Haakon had told her once, confirming what Septimus had grudgingly told her. “I leave some food each night at a spot at the edge of the jungle for him, but he’s gone back to being a Ghost. I’ve even stayed there a few times watching it, waiting to talk to him, but I must’ve dozed off for just a moment. I blinked and the food was gone.”
“It’s probably just monkeys stealing it,” Valeria had said.
Haakon had grinned. “Monkeys wouldn’t bring back the cup and bowl all washed and cleaned.”
“He shouldn’t have to be all alone,” she had whispered, then began sobbing.
Haakon, fearless in the arena and on the battlefield, fled in terror at the sight of royal tears.
Yes, she remembered Karan’s punishment. Or, more accurately, her punishment being inflicted upon him. But she also remembered the feel of his lips upon hers. She had tried to bury the memory beneath an overwhelming mountain of guilt, but like a tenacious flower, it continued to push its way to the surface where it bloomed in her mind. She didn’t understand why he had become such an obsession, especially when contrasted against Paulus. It is because he is forbidden, she told herself. And because he is forbidden, he is more desirable. He was also a mystery, and she loved mysteries. But did that mean she loved him?
Of course not, a sensible voice told her. You love Paulus. Paulus was the logical choice, and would be considered a golden catch by any young patrician woman. He was of a proud, upstanding family (patrician, of course), handsome, well-mannered and good hearted, brave, intelligent and thoughtful. She could never ask for a better match in a husband. Never.
And yet…Paulus had never ignited a spark in her. He had always been her closest friend and confidant, her partner, and often savior in misadventure, and her protector once he had become old enough to don the uniform. But his eyes had never looked at her in the same way as Karan had that terrible, wonderful night, when she felt as if they had both been struck by a bolt of lightning.
Valeria felt as if her head was going to explode. She was sick to death of thinking about the whole thing, and half-wished for Jupiter to simply banish all men from the world and put an end to the agony of love and relationships once and for all.
“Ugh.” She tossed aside the scroll she had been reading, one of the innumerable Greek works forced upon her by her tutor, and thumped her head back against Hercules’s warm, furry flank.
Hercules, reacting instinctively, reached out with a paw and batted the scroll so hard it went skittering across the room, coming to a stop just in front of the doorway.
“You’d better not let Kyros see what Hercules thinks of the speeches of Demosthenes.”
“Paulus!” In what she knew was a completely unacceptable breach of etiquette for the respectable Roman woman she was supposed to be, Valeria shot to her feet and sprinted across the room, throwing herself into his arms so hard she nearly knocked him off his feet. “I’m so sorry, Paulus,” she said as tears welled in her eyes. “I beg you, please forgive me. It wasn’t what you think, what you saw in the forest that night, but you never gave me a chance to explain. Please…”
He gently disengaged her arms and pushed her away slightly. “It doesn’t matter now,” he told her. In the weeks since she had last seen him, he seemed to have grown much older. He smiled, but his eyes still held a trace of sadness. “It’s good to see you.”
“I missed you,” she said simply. That, no matter how her deeper feelings were muddled, was certainly true. “Paulus, we need to talk and—”
He put a finger to her lips and shook his head. “There’s no time for that now. Perhaps later. Your father sent me to fetch you, and we’d best be going.”
“Why, what’s happened? What’s wrong?”
He lightly took her by the elbow and guided her from the room, and Hercules bounded to his feet and followed after them.
“I’ll let your father and the others explain,” was all he would say.
***
For one of the few times in her life since she had learned to talk, Valeria stood speechless. Her father, who sat on his field throne at the head of the central room of the praetorium, regarded her with narrowed eyes over steepled fingers. Her mother sat to his right, her posture reflecting more than passing discomfort at the topic of the discussion. The senior officers of the legion stood to one side, facing her. Pelonius had the courage to hold Valeria’s gaze when she looked at him, but the other uniformed men had suddenly found their sandals to be objects of intense fascination.
“I don’t believe this,” she said, trying to control her anger. “You accuse Karan of something he didn’t do, strip the flesh from his back in punishment and turn him out…”
“No one turned him out,” her father interrupted with a wince. “He simply chose to go off on his own.”
“And why wouldn’t he, after being treated so?” She glared at him. “You did those things to him, and now you want me to go crawling back, begging for his help on your behalf?”
Her father sighed. “Yes,” he said simply. “And it’s not on my behalf. It’s on behalf of the Empire. If the plan Pelonius has in mind is to have even a modest chance of success, and it’s vital that it succeed, we’ll need Karan’s help.”
Shifting her burning gaze to Pelonius, Valeria said, “And what is this daring plan, may I ask?”
“My apologies,” Pelonius said, “but you may not.”
That was all she could take. Pointing a finger at him, his eyes widening at her rudeness, she said, “Out! All of you, out!”
As one, they looked to Tiberius, who nodded and made a gesture of dismissal with his hand. Without a word, they filed out of the room.
Alone now with her parents, save for Hercules, who was noisily helping himself to an unguarded tray of cheese in the corner, Valeria stepped closer to her parents and lowered her voice. “You will free me from my confinement and allow me to go and do as I please with proper escort. And you will, in private, ask Karan’s forgiveness. I don’t ask that you apologize for what was done to him, but you must ask his forgiveness, and explain that it was for my own wretched sake. And I want him reinstated and given his own quarters and a servant. He should be an honored guest, as he was at first, not an outcast. You will also allow me to meet with him as I please, with a chaperone in attendance.” She took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly, wondering if she would ever again be allowed to see the light of day. Had anyone else stood before Caesar, even a man as good-hearted as her father, and made such demands, they would likely have found themselves nailed to a cross. Aside from Hercules ravaging the cheese, the silence in the room was so profound that she could hear the waves breaking on the beach, well beyond the fortress walls. “If I ask him to help you, promise me before the gods, as both my father and Caesar, that you will do these things.” She lowered her eyes. “And I promise to never again disappoint you so.”
After a long, uncertain pause, she heard her mother say, “I think she might just be growing up.”
Looking up, Valeria found Octavia smiling at her as she used to, with love and pride, not through a veil of dismay as she had done these last painful weeks.
“It’s a pity women can’t hold positions in the Senate,” her father said in a wistful tone. “Livius and his cronies would have
their work cut out for them against the likes of you.” Getting to his feet, he came and put his hands on Valeria’s shoulders. “I accept your promise, and offer you my own.” With a glance at Octavia, he went on, “We had already decided that you had been punished enough and were going to release you from your bondage.” He lifted her chin with a finger, and he looked her in the eyes. “But you do understand that what happened must never, ever happen again?”
She took his hand in hers. “Yes, Father, I understand.” Her voice faltered. “I couldn’t bear it.”
He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Then let us leave that in the past.” Leading her by the hand to the map table, he added, “Come, let us show you the scheme the crafty old scribe has come up with.”
***
Valeria and Paulus walked together through the jungle, following the path they both had used weeks before to find Karan’s personal training ground. No one knew if he still used it, but it was as good a place as any to start. Of course, Karan could already be following them; she had called his name a number of times, but thus far he had not seen fit to appear. Hercules ambled along behind them, his eyes and ears perking up at every sound from the monkeys and other strange beasts that dwelled here, his great whiskers twitching as his nose detected interesting scents, letting him see a world to which his human companions were largely blind. Valeria had insisted that no other soldiers accompany them; the protection of Hercules would be more than adequate for anything here that might wish to harm her.
She only hoped that Karan was not now among them.
“You still haven’t said if you forgive me,” she said quietly.
“I do,” he said at last.
Those two words lifted a huge weight from her shoulders, and she reached out and took his hand.
“I just wish I could find a way to make you feel the same way about me.”
The weight suddenly returned. “But I do.”
He laughed, but to her ears it was a sad sound. “No, you don’t. I saw how you looked at him.” He paused. “You’ve never looked that way at me.”
“I look at him differently because he’s a curiosity,” she huffed. “He’s part of the mystery that drew me to this place, remember? It’s not because I’m enamored of him.”
“If you say so,” he said, not sounding at all convinced.
“And I kissed him because…well, because I felt terribly sorry for him,” she went on. “He’s been a slave all his life, just like so many are in the Empire, and has never known love or compassion. Even our slaves may know that, from other slaves or even their masters. He risked his life for us when he didn’t have to, and I just wanted to show him something, some tenderness, as a way of thanking him.”
“And look where it got the both of you.”
She had no answer for that.
“Anyway, it’s done and done.” He gave her a wry smile. “And I have to confess that one of the reasons I love you is that you’re impetuous. I don’t want that to change, no matter how much chaos it might bring.”
She returned his smile and squeezed his hand, but couldn’t rid herself of a vague sense of guilt. What she had told him was the truth before all the gods, just not quite all of it.
When they reached the clearing, there was no sign of Karan, although he had clearly still been using it to hack away at thick stalks of bamboo.
Valeria cupped her hands to her mouth. “Karan! I know you can hear me. Please come out!”
“Look,” Paulus said quietly, nodding toward Hercules. The big cat stood stock still, staring intently into the trees across the clearing.
A shadow detached itself from the trees and stepped forward onto the sand of the clearing. Karan.
He first bowed to Hercules, then turned to Valeria and Paulus. Only his eyes were visible, the rest of his face covered in a scarf and the hood of his cloak. “Why have you come?”
“I came to beg your forgiveness,” Valeria told him, stepping toward him. Karan took a step back, and Valeria stopped, her heart torn. “Karan, you must believe me, I never meant for any of this to happen. I would have taken the lash of the whip myself if my father would have allowed it. He punished you for my transgression in order to save my honor, and to punish me for being such a thoughtless fool. I would have come to you much sooner, but I was confined to the castrum and wasn’t able to leave until now.” She sank to her knees. “Please…please find it in your heart to forgive me, to forgive all of us for the way we’ve treated you.”
Karan looked at her, then shifted his gaze to Paulus as Hercules approached Karan and gently nuzzled his arm, demanding the attention due the greatest of earthly gods.
“Her words are true, Karan,” Paulus said, meeting the other young warrior’s eyes. “She is…impulsive to the point of madness, even for a woman, but guile and deceit are not among her traits. She meant none of us any harm.” He glanced at Valeria. Noting the look on her face, he let out a helpless sigh. “Least of all you.”
As he reached up to scratch behind one of Hercules’s ears, Karan regarded them both for a long moment. “This is not the only reason you have come.”
Surprised, Valeria and Paulus exchanged a look before Valeria told him, “No, it isn’t. As I told you, I would have come much sooner — I never would have let you be alone, if it would have been in my power — but I was being confined as punishment, even though I know Father felt awful about what he did to you. But he decided to release me in order to bring a message to you, asking your forgiveness and requesting your help.”
Karan cocked his head, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “Why would one such as Caesar ask forgiveness from one such as me? He has only to command, and it will be done, for he is a Master.”
That stung Valeria. “He asks because he is a good man,” she said, “and an honorable one in an empire where such men are remarkably rare.” She smiled as Hercules began to rumble with content, Karan’s hands clearly hitting all the right spots. “Hercules has missed you, too.”
“A god who purrs,” Paulus said, shaking his head. Unable to help himself, he chuckled.
Blowing out a breath, Karan pulled back his hood and tugged the scarf down to reveal his face. He was thinner, with dark rings under his eyes. Looking at her, he managed a fragile smile. “And what would Caesar ask of one such as me?”
“We need you as a guide,” Paulus answered, “to lead a scouting party into the Dark Lands.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The return to the fort was largely in silence, despite Valeria’s best efforts to engage Karan in conversation. She knew it was because she was nervous, but finally gave up after her Ghost refused to grant her anything more than monosyllabic answers. He was deep in thought, his face cast in a frown, as they reached the gate.
Hercules trotted up to join them. He had been delayed by a particular monkey that had made the mistake of taunting the big cat from an overhanging branch. The monkey was well known to the garrison, for it was uncharacteristically belligerent and enjoyed bombarding its human neighbors with excrement, sometimes even making forays into the fortress itself to deliver its stinking payloads. But the monkey’s days of hurling offal came to an abrupt end when Hercules exploded from the ground and snatched the astonished primate from its perch, well above the heads of the three humans.
“Good riddance,” Paulus had observed, wincing as the forest echoed with the crunch of the monkey’s bones as Hercules took his meal.
The hexatiger, his muzzle bearing only the faintest trace of crimson, bounded past them to the gate. Ignoring the soldiers, he sniffed the side posts near where the sentries were standing.
“You should have the men stand aside,” Karan warned Paulus.
“Why?” Paulus asked, confused by the transition of Karan’s expression from brooding to something akin to a mischievous grin. “Hercules won’t hurt them.”
“No, but…”
Valeria suddenly understood what Karan was getting at as Hercules turned around, pointing his
rear end toward the side of the gate.
“Princess, tribune!” The sentry commander, a young optio, called out as he and his men came to attention. “Ghost! It is good to see you again!”
“Move away from Hercules!” Valeria called, trying to sound urgent but not as if the men were in danger. She was also trying not to laugh.
The soldiers looked at her, confused, then at the hexatiger, then back at her.
“Too late,” Karan said, shaking his head.
Hercules flipped up his tail and loosed a torrent of urine at the side post and the adjoining wall, which inadvertently spattered all over the sentry detail. Shouting with surprise and dismay, they retreated under the brief onslaught, but it was too late. They were soaked with reeking hexatiger urine.
Paulus was aghast. “Why did he do that? He never does that!”
The brief almost-smile vanished from Karan’s face. “He now knows the Dark Wolves grow closer, and marks his territory to warn them away.”
Valeria and Paulus whirled toward him, exclaiming together, “What?”
Karan nodded. “I have not seen them with my own eyes, but I have found fresh tracks deep in the jungle from single animals, scouts. Remember, I told you that once they have the scent of their prey in the Great Hunt, they will never stop until they feast upon his flesh or die. The God Hercules frightened them away in the battle we fought, but fear dwindles and fades in the minds of the hunters. They will eventually return, and in numbers, to take me.”
“And when were you going to tell us about this?” Paulus made no attempt to mask his anger. “You let Valeria go outside the walls with those monsters prowling about?”
Karan stared him straight in the eye. “I followed both of you since you entered the jungle. Had she been in any danger, I would have warned you. And Hercules would have known.” Turning to Valeria, he went on, “I saw the first spoor a week ago, and have been trying to track them. I know these beasts well, for they are both our companions and enemies nearly from birth. They will attack only when they are ready.”
Vulcan's Fury: The Dark Lands Page 20