by Alana Melos
“If you like,” Thomas responded. He laid a dusky hand on my cheek and a rush filled me. It was like taking Clarity, but sweeter, purer. I wasn’t high, I was just more… me. My mind sharpened, and I swore I felt the individual wrinkles on his hand before he removed that warmth from me. It wasn’t just sensations and perceptions, but clarity on all levels, mental, physical, and emotional.
In that moment, I knew something was terribly wrong with me.
Most of my emotions had come from behind the block. When Ger attacked me the first time we met, he ripped something open, something which hadn’t been meant to be loosed. That was where the imbalance started, and each successive step I took brought me closer to bringing it down. This stubborn loyalty I felt for Rory, Rebekah, Adira, the fear I’d felt in losing myself, the longing for Nosferatu…. Each of these things were rips and tears, pulling me away from my pure psychopathic mind, clouding my judgement. I also knew I could look behind there and find out why. It was in my grasp.
Have you ever felt your mind teeter on madness? I had felt pain and emotion and fear and all sorts of things. I’d been bloodthirsty and masochistic, craving any kind of emotions at all to fill the hole in me. I was already insane, but it worked for me. It was my cool breeze, my norm that was threatened. Yet as I stood there in there that second, I felt everything that I was slipping away as comprehension threatened me.
If I looked, I wouldn’t exist anymore.
The rush of emotions and thoughts which had assaulted me were contained for now. Behind the block was damage done to me when I had been small. Whatever it was, my mother had blocked it off to preserve my mind. She hadn’t been hindering me, but helping me. I threw up blocks around the block in my mind, sealing it off as best I could, shunting it away from my conscious mind. I breathed out slowly, knowing that my death was in my own head. I also knew it wouldn’t stay blocked for much longer. I had to find a solution yesterday.
Today was Adira.
Complete understanding still danced around the edges of my mind, taunting me, inviting me into the darkness. I ignored the teasing grazes, the half-remembered truths and illusions. I stood on the verge… then I breathed out, slowly, letting my stubbornness fill me. If it was going to be the end, then it would be the end. I couldn’t do anything about it now.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling easily behind the mask I slipped into place. He was no fool, and knew something had kicked free.
“Perhaps I should not have,” he said.
“Like any storm, it’ll pass,” I replied, touching the lapel of his suit, running my fingers underneath it. I looked into his slightly weathered face, and saw the pictures of Cortex from the past in my head, how full of pride he’d been in the beginning, and how tired at the end, like the weight of the world had crushed him. I was glad this version was safe.
As Thomas pulled away to give his benediction to others, the thought of Gerard sprang into my mind. The second we got back and I fulfilled my promise to Nazferatu to give the pack his offer, I was going to him. Not only could he fix this, but I knew he knew what it was and had held back. Sudden rage for Ger filled me, leaving me trembling in unspent fury, far beyond what the withholding deserved. One thing I could say for these new emotions, they fueled my powers, made me stronger in that regard.
I was so ready to kill some people.
Chapter Eighteen
The buzz from Thomas’ boost affected everyone in different ways. Lee calmed down and looked at the rest of us in thoughtful silence. Rory revved up, headbanging to whatever music he had going on in his headphones as he stripped down to ready himself for changing. Alistair straightened up somewhat, though he seemed as reserved as always. Rebekah stood there with a beautiful smile on her face, looking around at the garden with bright wonder, as if she’d never seen a flower before. Erasmus had eschewed the benediction, but I saw his keen eyes taking note of how it changed us.
When Rory changed, I couldn’t help but to send a tendril of thought to him. I’d felt him change before, but that was prior to the Pangea infection. His mind slipped to the side, and I frowned. He kept calling the wolf side of him ‘the other guy’, but it wasn’t. It was still him, just wild and free and warped by the alien entity. Pangea’s influence never went away, it merely subsided when he took his human form. I got the feeling it was easier for him to say ‘the other guy’ than ‘my crazy half’ or whatever he would call it.
Freedom… ah, sweet freedom in his mind, and an even bigger clarity of perception. The werewolf’s senses were keen and sharp, and he loved the air here which smelled so sweet and pure, like how he imagined a world without humans would be. The twisted idea of not just wanting the humans gone, but needing them gone shook me. That was Pangea’s wish, filtered by Rory’s mind. He wanted nothing short of complete genocide, but was content to wait and kill those in his way first.
Hunger… I rode with his emotions as the fur sprouted from his green skin and his bones broke and reshaped themselves. He hungered for flesh, hungered for the kill, hungered for purity so keenly I swayed and had to break the connection. I looked at Mauler with a new sense of wariness. There weren’t any exceptions in his mind for this slaughter. No wonder he shook off any attempts to talk to him, and played the same old Rory, not really changed at all save that he was photosensitive now.
The green werewolf shook himself, fluffing out the fur so that he looked bigger. He glanced at Thomas, then turned to Kiandra and inclined his head. “With yourr perrmission, I have a gift,” he growled.
She looked pleased to be addressed so by the plant wolf, and grinned broadly. “Your presence, it is a gift already!”
He reached forward, extending a hand to her. I’d seen him regenerate before--and faster since Pangea had changed him--but not grow anything out of himself save for spikes, which I’d assumed were for defense or just a part of him now. From the palm of his hand grew a small plant, which unfurled into a bush of some kind. A few buds appeared, but they didn’t blossom into anything as it was in the early stages of the plant’s development. I knew if Ger were here, he’d look calm but be fuming on the inside. He hated anything weird or less than total perfection. As it was, Lee looked at the wolf strangely, while Rebekah clapped her hands together, looking delighted.
“A rrose bush, so you will neverr forrget us,” he said in his growly voice.
I looked away before I rolled my eyes at the sheer tripe so he wouldn’t see it. When I looked back, Kiandra had taken the small bush from him. “Thank you very much for the gift!” she exclaimed. “I will plant this in a place of honor.”
He smiled in that wolfy way, but his threads changed color as I watched from his neutral colors of patience and repressed rage to thick satisfaction and underlying derision. Curious, I mentally ‘knocked’ and asked, May I?
Always, came the clear reply from the werewolf. You neverr need to ask me.
Which is why I always will, I replied. What is with the bush?
A gift, he replied as he backed up and watched Kiandra move deeper into the garden. Entranced already with his gift, the sorceress wasn’t waiting to find a spot for her prize. The rest of us gathered together again, with Alistair in the center as he prepared the spell. He had a map of Europe spread out on the table, and muttered to himself as he used what bits of Adira I’d given him to find her.
Bullshit, I said as I pushed in next to Erasmus, who watched Alistair with a stern look.
It is, Wolf said, though that dark amusement shone through. Plants live to grrow and sprread. I’ve merrely seeded a place which had been beyond Pangea’s grrasp until now.
I let out a sigh, which caused Richard to glance at me. I smiled and waved him off as I replied to Wolf. Is this going to spawn a huge plant monster sometime later? After we leave, I hope?
Don’t be foolish, he admonished me as he crossed his arms and watched the map light up with a single dot in England. It is an experriment.
How so? I asked.
I am connected to Pangea, and
she to me, he replied as Alistair cleared out a space for the teleportation portal he was about to create. As the sorcerer warned the lot of us about the sudden disorientation teleporting could cause, and to move quickly out of the way from the portal’s mouth when they arrived, I listened to Wolf explain his experiment.
Even now, I feel the bush, sense the living things arround it as if they werre arround me, he said. I want to know if that would cross dimensions, so that afterr we leave, we know what is happening here. I’ll be sowing morre seeds in England, to help sprread Pangea’s consciousness.
The plan had chilling implications. I turned to look at him. I kept forgetting how changed he really was. When in his human form, he acted so much like the old Rory. Even riding along with his emotions as he changed didn’t nail that home; that it was just another aspect of his new personality coming forward rather than a whole new consciousness. I knew better, and yet still willfully forgot. This foresight and planning was unlike my old Mauler who cared only about living from day to day, howling with his pack, and enjoying himself. This new Mauler had a plan, a goal, something he strove for. As much as I liked the old Rory, this new one was better, sharper, and would be more useful. He was also much more dangerous.
He seemed to sense something of those thoughts as his wolf grin grew wider and his bright green eyes glowed. If that’s what you want, Wolf, I said. So long as it doesn’t get in our way or slow us down. I paused, then stated clearly, You’re not killing Adira.
I would not, he replied. The grin disappeared. I carre for herr still, but the walking dead… it mocks life. It repulsed him, utterly.
She might be gone, I told him, facing what I feared the most about this. If he’s using her body, her spirit or soul or mind or whatever you want to call it might be gone.
In that case, we will put herr body to rrest, he promised. It might be forr the best if she is.
I don’t think she’d agree with you, I thought back at him.
“Are you paying attention, Caprice?” Alistair’s sharp voice cut through the conversation. “We’re waiting for your go.”
Nodding, I touched the hilt of my blade again. “Yeah, ready to rumble.”
“Then, I’ll finish the spell,” he said, and went back to chanting or doing whatever it was.
Keep in contact with me durring the fight, Wolf said. If you need me, call.
Ditto, especially if Alistair starts to lose it, I sent. He nodded in acknowledgement as I stepped forward. “Everyone go in their assigned pairs. Mauler and Alistair bring up the back.” I glanced over my shoulder at Richard, but he had stepped up with me, ready to go. I looked forward again as the portal took shape in front of me. Unlike the interdimensional portals, this one opened onto a dark countryside instead of a silver mirror. It rained there, and spatters of water came through the portal, darkening the stone we stood upon. The wind carried the scent of the wet and the green to us from hundreds of miles away.
I walked through without fear. Disorientation hit me, making the world slip to the side for a second before righting itself in a whiplash of sensations. I stumbled, understanding his warning now. Before Erasmus came through, I stepped to the side and took a few deep breaths, trying to get rid of the vertigo which clung to me like a spiderweb. Richard stepped on the other side of the portal to clear the way, taking deep even breaths like me.
My mind cleared a few breaths into it, and I sent out telepathic feelers, trying to see if anyone was nearby. The area appeared secure. As the others filtered through, I took the time to scan the horizon, looking for the obvious place. It wasn’t hard to find. The henges stood against the dark horizon, lit by firelight. From the location and the torches they held, arrived before the ritual was complete. This could be step twenty-five in a three hundred and seventy-eight step process, but I liked to think that we were just in the nick of time just like an action movie heroine.
A whir and a click from the side alerted me as Rebekah stepped through. Next to her, Richard had changed his outfit. Instead of standing in his pompous turtleneck and suit jacket, he stood there in a suit of sleek power armor. From the dim light which came through the portal, I saw it was blue and silver, with gold accents. It had no lights on it, not even for the eyes, and the arms and legs appeared more bulky than the main body. As Rebekah and Lee moved out of the way for Rory to come through, Erasmus moved to me, holding out his power gloved hand.
“Communicators,” he said as I accepted his offering. Small trinkets spilled into my hand. “One for each. It should be impossible to eavesdrop on this frequency without us knowing, but with magic, it’s bloody impossible to tell.”
“Are you from England?” I asked, still trying to place his weird accent.
“South Africa,” he replied. “It’s good to know that my country is protected here, by the Empire. I would have been aghast if they’d been part of the Reich.”
Examining the communicators, I found they’d fit neatly into the ear channel. I put one in, then handed another to Rebekah who came to stop beside me. “Here, communicator,” I said while I nodded at Richard. “I’m glad your sensibilities were protected, but I think it’s an irrelevant point right now. If you really want, we can discuss the political sitch of Axis later.”
Instead of being all snooty with the rebuke, Erasmus chuckled. “As you say, irrelevant.”
Pleased by him taking the rebuke well, I distributed the rest of the comms. Alistair looked at his skeptically ‘til I stared at him and tapped my foot. He put it in his ear and gave me an annoyed look after he was done. Once everyone was settled and recuperated from the jaunt, Alistair dismissed the portal and everyone turned to me.
“I’m assuming she’s in the middle of the henge,” I said, pointing over the level land and cut grass to half mile or so in the distance. When the sorcerer nodded confirmation, I went on. “I didn’t sense anyone nearby, but we’ll hit hard and fast. I’m not above a hit and run. Just remember it’s capture, not kill… unless you have to. We also need to take Richter and any of his people out of play so they can’t cast the spell. That’s more important than Adira, but ideally I want both.” I shifted my feet, frowning behind my mask. “Adira’s the only one that we rescue. The rest are KOS.”
“KOS?” Erasmus asked.
“Kill on sight, dumb ass,” Lee supplied. “Don’t you fucking game with that get up?”
“Lee, you still in communication with your sis?” I asked, not quite sure how that worked.
“It’s not so much as ‘communication’ as it is sensing feelings and shit,” he said with a haphazard shrug. He brushed a hand through his spiked hair, “She’s all tense and shit, but I keep sending chillax waves her way.”
I rolled my eyes. “Will you be able to tell her if we’re successful or not is what I want to know.”
“Oh, yeah, no probs for sure,” he grinned. “She’ll know if we’re fucked, definitely.”
I didn’t point out that wasn’t what I’d asked. Rebekah lowered her night vision goggles and pulled up her mask, ready for business. Wolf spread some of his seeds around, an ear cocked our direction. “I think Erasmus and I will travel fastest, so we’ll circle ‘round and hit them from that direction. Approach but wait for my signal.”
With a nod of my head, I lifted myself off the ground with my teke a few feet and waited. I wasn’t disappointed as the heavier armor around Erasmus’ legs rearranged itself. I’d expected jet boots or something, but when he lifted off the ground, I saw no extra lights until he rose above me. There, sunken in the depths of whatever mechanism he used to fly were the burning blue lights I expected, but they weren’t flames.
“What tech is that?” I asked as we rose high into the cloud cover. The wind and the rain whipped against me, soaking me while the harsh drops pinged off his armor with a musical beat.
“Anti-gravity,” he replied, sounding amused.
“It must be nice to fly,” Rebekah lamented.
I heard a whoosh through the comm and a chuckle from
Lee. “C’mon babe, we’ll slide it up like we did last time.”
“It’s the latest version,” Erasmus continued. “I improved upon the technology, made it lighter, portable, usable by a single person.”
“I’d sell it and get rich,” Lee said, hooting. The whooshing sound wasn’t loud, but it didn’t diminish either. Through a lightning flash, I saw a glassy reflection below me, and I snorted. He was using his ice powers to freeze himself a path, making an ice slide ala Iceman. Who said comics weren’t good for anything? They literally were metahuman training manuals.
When we reached a good height and the low cloud cover afforded us some stealth, Erasmus and I flew over the henge. I couldn’t see much, but as we flew, Erasmus gave us a detailed report.
“I’d say there’s at least fifty or so present, heat signatures are bunched together with the torches so it makes it difficult to count for sure,” he replied. “There’s a few cold spots as well, which may be undead. From this distance, I can’t see much detail, but there is a handful in the center.”
“Nearest the point of the nexus,” Alistair said. “Can you tell what they’re doing?”
“Standing still from the looks of it, though there’s no cover from the inclement weather present. No tents or tarps…” Lightning flashed again, right in front of us. I threw up my hand over my eyes, but it was too late. Blinded by the flash of lightning, I stood flying and hovered there, trying not to fill the comm channel with swearing.
“Caprrice?” Wolf asked.
I’m fine, Wolf, I replied, then repeated it aloud. “I’m fine. The lightning was close, real close.” When I opened my eyes, I saw the aftereffect of the bolt doubling my vision, dancing in front of me. “I’ll need a few.”
“Let me guide you,” Erasmus said. I was rubbing my eyes vigorously through the mask when lightning streaked down again almost in the same place. “Quickly,” he urged.
Allowing him to take my hand, he flew us past the danger spot and to the other side of the henge. “This is not good,” Alistair said as we moved. “While it’s common nonsense which says lightning doesn’t strike the same spot twice, striking with precision like that--” He broke off as another bolt streaked from the sky in the same spot. Even me with my glowy aftereffect vision could see that. “--multiple times is abnormal. The air is soaked with magic. At first, I thought it was the nexus, but it’s not.”