by Sue MacKay
She wanted to know more about him, his past, his plans for the future. She craved more than to share some nights in bed with him. Leave. Now. But her butt remained firmly on the seat and her feet tucked under the stool. She’d have to stay and work through whatever was ailing her.
Flynn’s smile was wry. ‘Odd how it turned out. It took Anna’s death for me to wake up to what was important. Family is everything, and Adam is my family, so here we are.’ He held cutlery out for her to take across to the table.
Did he add under his breath, ‘Living the life Anna wanted for all of us?’ If he did, then he’d pull the shutters down on any kind of relationship other than a fling. His late wife wouldn’t be wanting him to have a woman flitting in and out of his life, and definitely not Adam’s.
Relief was instant. She didn’t have to fight this sense of wanting more from him. There wasn’t going to be anything other than sex and a meal or two. You’re jumping the gun. He mightn’t even want the sex part any more. Except when she glanced across to where he was dishing up the meal, she knew he did. It was there in the way he watched her, not taking a blind bit of notice where he spooned chicken and gravy. When their gazes locked she was instantly transported back to the moment they’d come together on the beach. Oh, yes, there were going to be more bed games.
Games that didn’t involve her heart and soul, just her hormones and body.
‘What is there to do on the island during winter?’ Apart from going to bed with sexy doctors. ‘I read somewhere about a racetrack, but there’s not going to be a race meeting this month.’
‘Do you like watching cars going round and round for hours on end?’ He looked bored just thinking about it.
‘I’ve never been, but I’m always looking for new adventures.’
‘So what do you do with your spare time?’
Not a lot. Her standard time-fillers were, ‘Shopping, movies, sunbathing on the beach, swimming, listening to music.’
‘That’s it?’ His eyebrows lifted. ‘Seriously?’
‘What’s wrong with that? It’s plenty.’ I don’t have a child to look after. Or a house to clean and maintain. Or a partner who wants me to follow him around.
Flynn shook his head. ‘Don’t tell me your life is all work and no play?’
She locked her eyes on him. ‘No play? Care to rephrase that?’ She’d done playing the other night—with him.
He grinned. ‘How about we take you to see the penguins this weekend? It’s something I can take Adam to with us.’
‘Penguins?’ Adam’s head swivelled round so fast he should’ve got an instant headache.
‘Big Ears always hears certain words.’ Flynn shrugged.
‘Can we really go, Dad? They’re funny, Ally.’ Adam leapt up from the table to do his best impersonation of a penguin, and Sheba got up to run circles around him. Next Adam was having a fit of giggles.
Ally chuckled. ‘I love it when he does that. Okay, yes, let’s go and see these creatures.’ It would be something to look forward to. Going out with an everyday man and his child. Different from her usual pursuits. She bobbed her head at Adam and held her arms tightly by her sides as she shuffled across the floor.
Adam rewarded her with more giggles as they returned to the table.
‘That’s enough, you two.’ Flynn looked so much better when he laughed. ‘Sorry we’re eating early, but Adam needs to have his bath and get to bed.’ Flynn didn’t look sorry at all.
‘I understand you must have a routine. Don’t ever think you have to change it for me. I’m more than happy being fed,’ she said, before forking up a mouthful of chicken. ‘This is better than anything I’d make, believe me.’
Adam pushed his plate aside. ‘Are we having pudding, Dad?’
‘I’ve chopped up some oranges and kiwi fruit. Just need to add the banana when we’re ready.’
‘Can I get the ice cream out of the freezer?’
‘Yes, you can tonight since we’ve got a visitor.’ Flynn winked at her. ‘You’ll get an invitation every day now.’
I wish. ‘I’ll clean up the kitchen after dinner.’ A small price for a home-cooked meal.
While Flynn was putting Adam to bed, Ally cleared away the plates. Once she’d put the last pot into the dishwasher and wiped down the benches she approached the coffee machine and began preparing two cappuccinos. ‘These things make decent frothy milk,’ she commented as Flynn joined her. ‘How’s Adam?’
‘Asleep, thank goodness.’ He took the coffees over to the lounge.
Following, she asked, ‘This your quiet time?’
‘Definitely. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boy, but to have a couple of hours to unwind from the day before I go to bed is bliss.’
Bed. There it was. The place she wanted to be with Flynn right now. But he’d sat down and was stretching his legs out in front of him. She remembered those legs with no clothing to hide the muscles or keep her hands off his skin. Skin that covered more muscle and hot body the farther up she trailed her gaze. Stop it. She sipped the coffee, gasped as it burned her tongue. ‘I’m such a slow learner.’
He stood up to take the mug out of her hand and place it on a small table beside the chair. Then he reached for her hands and pulled her to her feet. His mouth was on hers in an instant; his kiss as hot, as sexy, as overwhelming as she remembered from the previous night. She hadn’t been embellishing the details.
His arms held her close to his yummy body, his need as apparent to her as the need pulsing along her veins.
When he lifted his mouth away she put her hands up and brought his head back to hers. She liked him kissing her. More than any man before. Scary. Don’t think about what that means right now. Don’t think at all. Enjoy the moment. Her tongue slipped across his bottom lip, tasting him, sending enough heat to her legs to make them momentarily incapable of holding her upright without holding on to Flynn tighter.
‘Ally, you’re doing it to me again. Sending me over the edge so quickly I can’t keep up.’ Thankfully he returned to kissing as soon as he stopped talking.
So not the moment for talking. This was when mouths had other, better, things to do. Since when had kissing got to be so wonderful anyway? Or was it just Flynn’s kisses that turned her on so rapidly? Before Flynn she’d thought they were just a prelude to bedroom gymnastics, but now she could honestly spend the whole evening just kissing.
Then his hands slid under her top to touch her skin and she knew she’d been fooling herself. She had to have him, skin to skin, hips to hips. Hands touching, teasing, caressing. Now. Pulling her mouth free, she growled, ‘The couch or your bedroom?’
His eyes widened, then he shook his head. ‘Bedroom. There’s a lock on the door.’
She hadn’t had to think about children barging in before. But why did Flynn have a lock on his bedroom door? Did he do this often? No, he’d told her she was the first since Anna died. Somehow she knew he hadn’t lied to her. Whatever the reason it was there, she was grateful or Flynn wouldn’t have continued with this even with Adam sound asleep.
He said, ‘I’m hoping you’ve got more of those condoms in your bag.’
‘That’s what the pharmacy’s handy for. Called in at the one farthest from the clinic on my way back from visiting a patient.’ No point in creating gossip if she didn’t have to.
Flynn laughed. ‘You don’t honestly think they won’t know who you are already?’
Her fingers caught his chin and pulled that talkative mouth down for another kiss. ‘Let’s get back to where we were.’
‘Now who’s talking too much?’
They both shut up from then on, too busy touching and stroking, kissing, undressing one another as their desire coiled tighter and tighter. And tighter.
The phone woke Ally. It was a local number, though not one she knew. Seven o’clock on a Saturday morning. She might not know many people on this island, but it seemed someone always wanted to get her out of bed before she was ready. Or in bed, as with Flynn.
‘Ally, is that you? It’s Chrissie.’
‘Hey, Chrissie, what’s up?” Ally pushed up the bed to lean back against her pillow.
‘I’m bleeding. I’m not losing the baby, am I?’ Her voice rose.
‘First of all, take a deep breath and try to calm down. I’ll have to examine you to know the answer to that, but you’re not necessarily having a miscarriage. Sometimes women do have some spotting and it’s fine.’
‘But what if I am miscarrying?’ There were tears in Chrissie’s voice. ‘I don’t want to lose it.’
Ally felt her heart squeeze for this brave young woman. ‘How heavy is the bleeding?’ Wrong question. To every pregnant mother it would be a flood.
‘Not lots. Nothing like my period or anything.’
Got that wrong, then, didn’t I? ‘I’ll come and see you this morning. Try to relax until I get there. This could just be due to hormonal changes or an irritation to your cervix after sex.’ Had Chrissie been seeing the boy who’d had a part in this pregnancy? There’d still been no mention of the father and she was reluctant to ask. It wasn’t any of her business, unless Chrissie was under undue pressure from him about the pregnancy and so far that didn’t seem to be the case.
‘Really?’ Chrissie’s indrawn breath was audible on the phone. Girls of this age didn’t usually like talking about their sexual relations to the midwife. It was embarrassing. ‘But that didn’t happen before when I wasn’t pregnant.’
‘Your body is changing all the time now, and especially your cervix.’ It sounded like they might have the cause of the spotting, but she needed to make absolutely sure. Ally got up and stretched, her body aware of last night’s lovemaking with Flynn. Easing the kinks out of her neck and back, she used one hand to pull on a thick jersey and trackpants before making her way to the kettle for a revitalising coffee. ‘Have you told your mum what’s happening?’
‘Yes. She said to ring you or Dr Reynolds.’
And I got the vote. Warmth surged through her. ‘If I’m at all worried after the exam, you’ll still need to see Dr Reynolds. He might want you to have an ultrasound. But first things first. I’ll be at your house soon. Is that all right?’ She wouldn’t mention the blood tests she’d need samples for. Chrissie might’ve sailed through the last lot without a flinch, but she didn’t need to be stressed over today’s until the last minute.
‘Thank you, Ally. That’s cool. I’m sorry to spoil your day off.’
‘Hey, you haven’t. This is what being a midwife’s about. You wait until junior is ready to come out. He or she won’t care what day of the week it is, or even if it’s day or night.’
‘I’m going to find out if it’s a boy or girl. I want time to think of a name and to get some nice things for it. I feel weird, calling the baby “it”. Like I don’t care or something.’
Talking about the scan was more positive than worrying she might be losing the baby. Ally sighed with relief. ‘Catch you shortly.’
Four hours later Ally parked outside Flynn’s house and rubbed her eyes. She was unusually tired. Her head felt weighed down—with what, she had no idea. Maybe the slower pace of the island did this to people. She’d noticed not everyone hurried from place to place, or with whatever they were doing. Certainly not the checkout operator at the supermarket, where she’d just been to stock up on a few essentials. The girl had been too busy talking to her pal she’d previously served to get on with the next load of groceries stacked on her conveyor belt.
Tap-tap on her window. Flynn opened her door. ‘Hey, you coming in or going to sit out here for the rest of the day? Adam could run errands for you, bring you a coffee or a sandwich.’
‘That sounds tempting.’ The heaviness lifted a little and she swung out of the car. ‘How’s things in your house this morning?’
He ignored her question. ‘You look exhausted. All that sexercise catching up with you?’ He suddenly appeared genuinely concerned. ‘You’re not coming down with anything, are you?’
‘Relax, I’m good. Just tired. I’ve spent most of this morning with Matilda Livingstone, trying to calm her down and make her understand that her pregnancy is going well, that she doesn’t need to worry about eclampsia at this early stage, if at all.’
‘Her mother’s been bleating in her ear again, I take it?’
‘Unfortunately, yes. Such a different outlook from Angela and Chrissie. I had an hour with Chrissie, as well. She had some mild spotting this morning, but hopefully I’ve allayed her concerns. We talked a lot about the trimesters and what’s ahead for her and the baby. I’m amazed at how much detail she wanted to know.’
‘Could be her way of keeping on top of the overwhelming fact that she’s pregnant and still at school and hoping to go to university.’
Ally nodded. ‘Yes, well, that plan of becoming a lawyer is on hold for a little while, but I bet she will do her degree. Maybe not in the next couple of years, but some time. There’s a fierce determination building up in her that she’ll not let baby change her life completely, that she’s going to embrace the situation and make the most of everything.’
‘That’s fine until her friends leave the island to study and she’s at home with a crying infant. That’s the day she’ll need all the strength she can muster.’
Ally shook her head at him. ‘She’ll love her precious baby so much she’ll be fine.’
‘Spoken like someone who hasn’t had a major disappointment in her life.’
Spoken like a woman who’s had more than her fair share of those, and has learned to try and see only the best in life by not involving herself with people so they can’t hurt her.
‘That’s me—Pollyanna’s cousin.’ It shouldn’t hurt that Flynn didn’t see more to her than her cheery facade, didn’t see how forced that sometimes was, but it did. Even if she cut him some slack because it had barely been a week since they’d met and outside work they’d only had fun times, she felt a twinge of regret.
What would it be like to have someone in her life who truly knew her? Where she’d come from. Why she kept moving from one clinic to the next, one temporary house to another. She’d thought she’d won the lottery with the Bartletts. She had come so close to belonging, had been promised love and everything, even adoption, so when it hadn’t eventuated, the pain of being rejected for a cute three-year-old had underscored what she’d always known. She was unlovable. Letting people into her heart was foolish, and to have risked it to the Bartletts because they’d made promises of something she’d only ever dreamed of having had been the biggest mistake of her young life. So big she’d never contemplated it again.
Oh, they’d explained as kindly as they could how their own two children, younger than her, hadn’t wanted a big sister. Being mindful of their children’s needs made Mr and Mrs Bartlett good parents, but they should never have promised her the earth. She’d loved them with such devotion it had taken months to fully understand what had happened. They’d said she was always welcome at their home. Of course, she hadn’t visited.
As she locked the car she watched Flynn with her bags of goodies striding up the path to his front door. Why did she feel differently about Flynn? Whatever the answer, it was all the more reason to remain indifferent.
Did his confidence come from having loved and been loved so well that despite his loss he knew who he was and why he was here? He wasn’t going to share his life with her or another woman. It was so obvious in the way he looked out for Adam, in the balancing act he already had with his career and his son. She’d been aware right from the get-go that there would be no future for her here.
That’s how she liked it, remember?
As Flynn stopped to look back at her she knew an almost overwhelming desire to run up to him and throw herself into his arms. So strong was this feeling that she unlocked the car. She had to drive away, go walk the beach or take a visit to the mainland.
‘Ally? You gone to sleep on your feet?’ The concern was genuine. ‘I think you should see a
doctor.’ Then he smiled that stomach-tightening smile straight at her. ‘This doctor.’
How could she refuse that invitation? There was friendship in that smile. There was mischief, as in sex, in that smile. That was more than enough. That’s all she ever wanted.
She locked the car again and headed inside.
Flynn watched Ally with Adam. She didn’t appear to be overly tired, more distracted. By what? Was she about to tell him thanks, she’d had a blast, but it was over? Already?
He wasn’t ready to hear that news. Not yet. They’d just got started. It had come as a surprise to find he wanted her so much, needed to get to know her intimately. He understood it had to be a short-term affair. Ally would leave at the end of her contract in three weeks—no doubt about that. For that he should be grateful. There wasn’t room in his life for anyone else. Adam came first, second, and took anything left over from the demands of the clinic.
Anyway, he doubted whether Ally had room for him or any man in her life. She was so intent on moving on, only touching down briefly in places chosen for her by her bosses and circumstances, doing her job with absolute dedication and then taking flight again.
‘Hey, Adam, what’ve you been doing this morning?’ The woman dominating his thoughts was talking to his boy and scratching Sheba’s ears.
‘We went to the beach to throw sticks for Sheba. I chucked them in the water. That’s why she’s all wet.’ Mischief lightened that deep shade of blue radiating out of Adam’s eyes. Here we go, another round of giggles coming up.
‘The water must’ve been freezing.’ Ally smiled softly and ruffled his hair, which Adam seemed to like. And that simple show of affection put the kibosh on the giggles as he stepped close to Ally and patted the top of Sheba’s head, too.
‘Sheba likes swimming.’ Adam looked up at Ally, hope in his eyes. ‘Are you still coming to see the penguins with us?’
‘That’s why I’m here. You and I can do the funny walk on the beach, see if they want to be our friends.’ She was good with him, no doubt about that.