by Kendall Ryan
When Natalie opens the door, I’m immediately struck by the sight of her. She’s just come from the shower, by the looks of it. Her hair is damp and her cheeks are bare of makeup and slightly flushed. She’s dressed only in her robe. The scent of lilacs and clean cotton floats between us.
I can’t help but inhale the scent of her as she leans in close and gives me a friendly one-armed hug. I have no idea what kind of body wash she uses, but I vow to sneak into her bathroom later and check. And then promptly buy twenty gallons of the stuff. The thought of jerking off while surrounded by the scent of her is a mental image so vivid, my cock twitches and stirs to life.
Get your shit together, Cam. You’re standing in the presence of your best friend, not a chick you met on Tinder.
“What are you doing here?” She smiles at me, completely oblivious to the filthy thoughts infiltrating my brain.
I shrug. “I was in the neighborhood.” And then I hold up the paper coffee cup containing her favorite—a chai tea latte. “And I thought you could use one of these.”
“Gimme.” Natalie grabs the cup and heads toward her bright, sunny kitchen. “You coming?” she calls over one shoulder, making sure I’m following.
I pray that she’s going to go get dressed. Otherwise, I can’t be held responsible for letting my gaze drift over her bare legs and ample cleavage.
“Just let me change, I’ll be right back.”
Thank God for small miracles.
She heads to her bedroom, and barely thirty seconds later, she’s strolling out in a pair of leggings and a faded T-shirt emblazoned with our college mascot.
“Are you here alone?” I ask, propping one hip against the counter while Natalie removes the lid from her cup and takes a small sip.
“Of course. Who did you think would be here?”
I give her a shaky smile. “No one.”
With raised brows, Natalie scoffs at me. “Things went well with Ben, but they didn’t go that well.”
“So, you liked him, though?”
She takes another sip and makes a pleased sound, muttering something that I think means yes.
“You guys going out again?” I’m trying not to sound overly interested, but the truth is, I am curious.
She passes me the pastry box I brought over yesterday, gesturing for me to take one. “For the love of God, don’t let me eat all of these by myself.”
Chuckling, I help myself to a chocolate doughnut, knowing they’re her least favorite. “Thanks.”
Natalie selects a glazed doughnut and takes a bite. Once she swallows and wipes her mouth with a napkin, she nods. “He’s taking me to that old vintage arcade later this week.”
I plaster on a smile and work to keep my voice neutral. “Wow. I’m impressed. So you do really like this guy, huh?”
Natalie licks icing from her thumb and gives me an appraising look. “I don’t know. But he’s someone cool to hang out with, and I’m very single right now, so . . . why not.”
My throat tightens, and I barely manage to swallow the bite I’m chewing. “Right. Why not.” I talk with Natalie a while longer while she finishes her doughnut, but I’m left with a hollow feeling in my chest.
Chapter Four
Natalie
I’m on the last rep of this set of sit-ups when my personal trainer, Mandy, pipes up.
“Damn, girl, where is all this energy coming from?” Her hands are planted firmly on my feet, aiding in the process of the most cruel and unusual form of exercise. “I usually have to coach you through these last few.”
“Honestly,” I gasp, “I have no idea.” I finish off the last few sit-ups feeling strong, then fall back on the mat in defeat. Mandy reaches across the mat to grab my water bottle and hands it to me.
“Can I be honest?” I ask, popping open the lid. I don’t usually open up to Mandy like this, but I’m going to work myself to death if I don’t.
“Of course. There’s no secrets between a girl and her personal trainer,” Mandy says with a wink. I wish I had half the pep this girl has on tap.
“I think I’m just super horny.”
Mandy laughs uproariously. Well, I should have seen that coming.
After a stuttering breath, she wheezes out, “Well, shit. Are you seeing anyone?”
“I’m not not seeing anyone,” I say, which is totally a non-answer. Ben is someone, after all. Someone I may very well come to like with enough time, effort, and sex. Fingers crossed for that last one.
“What does that even mean?” Mandy’s expression tells me she’s not buying it.
“I am seeing someone,” I say, clarifying. “It’s just casual right now.” I wipe the back of my neck with my towel and take another deep gulp of water.
“Who is it? Wait! Let me guess.”
“You’ve never met him. His name is Ben.” I chuckle. I wish I had more friends like Mandy back in school. Talking openly like this about “boys” is a new feeling. I’m having fun in a way I’ve never had with the guys.
“What? You mean it’s not Camden or Jack?”
My eyes go wide as I nearly choke on my next swallow of water. “Cam or Jack? No way!” I shout, maybe a smidge too dramatically. “I would never, ever date one of my best friends.” The very thought makes me want to simultaneously laugh out loud and shudder.
“That’s actually absurd,” Mandy says, and I can see by her side-eye that she’s judging my taste. “You have two gorgeous specimens at your beck and call, and you’ve never thought about hooking up with either of them?”
I open my mouth to retort, but only a half-assed scoff comes out. Okay, she has a point. Why do I feel like telling Mandy everything? Am I really this starved for female friendship? Without thinking too hard about that can of worms, I choose honesty as the best policy.
“Okay, yes, maybe I have considered it once or twice in the past,” I say, and Mandy throws up her fists in victory. So much energy, this one. “But now it’s completely platonic.” I watch my carefully uttered words go in one ear and out the other.
“I knew it! God, they’re fucking hot.” Mandy’s eyes sparkle with shameless fantasies. Hold your horses there, missy.
“You’ve only met Cam, though,” I remind her. He picked me up from the gym once a few weeks ago, a sweet gesture on a rainy day. “How could you know what Jack looks like?”
“It’s called the matching theory,” Mandy says, nodding along with her own reasoning. This is going to be good. “Beautiful people gravitate toward other beautiful people. You’re gorgeous, Camden is a total hunk, so Jack must be at least cute.”
I try not to snort with laughter, thinking what Jack would say to being called “at least cute.”
“You’re very sweet,” I say with a genuine smile, placing a hand on her arm. “Matching theory, huh? I guess that’s why I chose you as my personal trainer.” Mandy flushes pink, her pale skin glowing under the fluorescent lights of the gym. She shoves me lightly. “All right, you flatterer! You think I’m gonna take it easy on you if you compliment me? Let’s move on to the machines!”
It’s time for leg work. As I lean back against the cushion, cranking out repetition after repetition, I let my mind wander. How funny is it that Mandy thought I would ever date Cam or Jack? Yes, they’re both attractive men. And yes, we all get along very well. However, I can’t imagine romance blossoming with either of those goofballs. It’s not like they’re incapable of it. Both have had their fair share of interested parties, especially back in college.
While Jack took healthy advantage of that, Cam was always too busy volunteering at the local children’s hospital to commit to a relationship. His nights were tightly scheduled with hours of hockey practice, dinner with a side of schoolwork, and then volunteering at the hospital. No time for dates. Even when hockey practice got out late, I would always spot Cam’s silhouette stepping down from the dormitory entrance from my desk window. Where was he going with a backpack full of books? Off to read bedtime stories to the disabled children who
had trouble sleeping soundly. He’s unbelievable, that one. While I was balancing schoolwork with trying to have a social life, Cam was busy being a real-life superhero.
As I push my legs against the weight of the machine, I consider how unlikely my friendship with the guys truly is. I grew up wealthier than either of them could ever imagine. They both have loving families with few-to-no complications, whereas my home life is an ever-evolving complication. The first time I told anyone about my secret, not-so-charmed life, it was to Cam.
“You really look nothing like your parents,” he murmured one lazy afternoon during our sophomore year in college. We were hanging out in my dorm room, avoiding the paper we were supposed to be writing. The sun was hot, its bright rays streaming in through the window, casting reflective light off the smallest specks of dust. Cam and I sprawled side by side on my bed, books and papers spread out around us.
“Those are your parents, right?” Cam asked, concerned by my silence. I followed his gaze to the picture of me with my parents taped on my closet door. It had been taken on a trip to Argentina, their deeply tanned skin accented by their light, wavy hair. My own skin was pale in comparison, practically glowing against the outdoor light.
“Yeah.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
Come on, Natalie. Is that all Cam deserves to know?
“They’re my adoptive parents.” There. I said it. To my own surprise, my voice was steady, like this was a fact I’d stated every day since I could talk. In reality, I hadn’t told anyone in a very, very long time. I’d learned the hard way to keep such secrets to myself, sparing myself the prying questions of those only interested in the drama, not in me.
A quiet moment passed between us. Cam and I both turned to look at each other; me assessing his reaction, and him waiting for me to continue. Our faces were only inches apart. His dark eyelashes had caught the edge of afternoon sunlight, casting a shadow across his cheekbones. He used to be so clean-shaven then. I recall fighting the urge to run the back of my fingers across his soft cheek, just to test the sensation.
“I never met my birth parents,” I whispered like a confession. I could have gone into detail about being abandoned as a baby and left to foster care for most of my childhood before becoming a Moore. But I didn’t.
He turned then, staring up at the ceiling. I wondered if I had gone further than I should have in opening up. Was this too much information for our friendship to handle?
“Natalie Moore has a nice ring to it, though,” was all he said.
And that was all he needed to say. He understood some small part of me, but didn’t pry. Didn’t sensationalize it or make me feel lesser than what I was.
With that memory still floating through my brain, I finish the last rep and peel myself off the leg machine with an exaggerated groan, feeling every bit as exhausted as I must look.
“You’re getting stronger and stronger every week, girl,” Mandy says, leaning over the metal bars of a neighboring machine.
“Thank you.” I laugh. “It’s definitely not a walk in the park. Hell, I’m not even sure I can walk out of here when I get finished with you, much less take a walk in the park.” I stretch my warm muscles in hopes that they won’t ache too much tomorrow. Never far away, Mandy hands me my water bottle.
“I refilled it.” She smiles. “Ice cold.”
“Bless you.” I take a deep swig, letting the water dribble down my chin and onto my flushed chest. Mandy really is an excellent trainer, always prepared to lend a helping hand and listen to my latest complaints.
“I forgot to ask,” I manage to say before taking one more swig. “Is there anyone in your life right now?” It’s only polite to ask, seeing as most of today’s conversation revolved around me and my lack of a sex life.
“Not in the slightest.” Mandy rolls her eyes and her whole demeanor slumps, making me wonder if the peppy attitude she has during our sessions is just an act for the sake of her clients. “I’m just as single as I was back in high school. But back then, I wore a retainer. Today, who knows what the problem is.”
“There’s no problem. And there’s no rush.” I squeeze her arm in an I’m sorry attempt at comfort. I’m not very skilled in this practice, I realize. Most of the comfort I’ve shared with the guys usually involves a sharp slap on the shoulder and another strong drink.
“Easy for you to say,” she mutters, her voice colored in a new tone. Is that jealousy? “You have Ben. And you have Cam and Jack as backups in case Ben is a complete douche.”
“That’s not really how it works,” I say, although I know that she’s already convinced herself of the opposite. Before she can push back, her eyes light up with a new idea. I brace myself.
“So, Cam and Jack. They’re both single, right?”
Uh-oh.
“Yeah. I mean, Jack just got out of the longest relationship he’s ever managed. I don’t really think he’s in the game for anything other than some sleazy hookup.” I internally cross my fingers, praying that Mandy isn’t the hookup type. I really need her to stay my personal trainer. If Jack broke her heart on his lap around Rebound Town, the damage might be irreparable.
“Hmm.” She frowns briefly, then looks up at me through her eyelashes. “What about Camden?”
Yikes. What about Cam? I frown. He’s not with anyone, I suppose. I don’t really think he’s looking for someone. But what if he is? When was the last time I asked? And who am I to turn away an eager applicant?
“I don’t think he’s looking for anything right now,” I find myself saying. Why am I thinking one thing and saying the other? It must be the workout. I’m completely wiped. I need a nice, warm shower and a long, restorative nap. However, Mandy won’t let me stay in that fantasy for very long.
“Come on, Natalie, I’m not trying to be the mother of his children. Why not?”
Why not, indeed. I’m definitely thrown off-balance by this conversation, not used to this pushy side of Mandy. Sure, I like the Mandy who pushes me to reach my weekly fitness goal. But I’m not sure I like the Mandy who pushes me to set her up with one of my closest friends. This is what I get for opening up about my sex life, I think, reprimanding myself.
Taking my silence as a hint, Mandy’s demeanor shifts again, and she scratches her forehead self-consciously. “Just kidding. He’s way out of my league anyway,” she says, sliding easily back into the friendlier version of herself. I bite my lip. No, Natalie! Don’t be this girl.
“You know, you’re right. Why not? I’ll ask him. Maybe you can come to his next game with me.”
It’s like I’ve resurrected the dead. The life jumps back into Mandy’s face as she flashes her trademark smile at me, complete with perfect white teeth and rosy cheeks.
“What kind of game?” Despite her efforts at nonchalance, she’s practically bursting with excitement.
“Hockey.” I smirk, knowing that answer will push her over the edge.
“Yes!” She thrusts up her fists in yet another victory, this time for herself. “Count me in! Thank you so, so much, Nat.” She blows me a kiss as she turns to skip back to the trainers’ offices. She yells back over her shoulder, “I’m gonna get laid!”
Well, there goes the wind, knocked right out of me. I don’t know whether to chuckle at Mandy’s infectious eagerness to meet him, or to sink into the dread of my two worlds colliding.
Stop it, Natalie. It’s not like Cam will get together with Mandy and then forget all about you. Jeez, I never knew I was the jealous type. I guess I’ve just never had to share my time with another female where Cam is involved.
I pick up my duffel bag and head to the locker room, my mind buzzing with questions that I can’t even put into words.
Chapter Five
Camden
I snap off a quick pass a split second before the other team’s defenseman slams into me.
In the stands, Natalie laughs and says something to the blond-haired woman next to her. I grin like an idiot.
“Drink
s after?” I mouth to her. Natalie knows I mean the bar down the street where our team meets after every game.
She gives me a thumbs-up, and I skate away to catch up with the team. After I hit the showers, I stand in front of the mirror, applying deodorant. Squinting at my hair, I debate whether to tuck in my shirt.
My buddy Greg, an EMT who plays defenseman, snaps a wet towel in my direction. “Is that primping for the fine-ass blonde with Natalie, or did you two finally add some benefits?”
“Whatever, man. You know how it is with Nat, and I don’t know the blond chick.”
“They’re coming to the pub, though?” Greg tosses his towel in a pile and then shoulders his bag.
“Yeah, I think so.”
He leans in front of a mirror, smoothing his eyebrows with a comical leer. “Well, you don’t sound interested, so if I strike out with the blonde, then maybe your buddy Nat is up for some hockey-hero action.”
“Get the fuck out of here, man.” I laugh and shove him aside.
The bar is packed when I show up. Natalie and her friend have claimed a couple of bar stools and are fending off some smug-looking guy in a suit, definitely not one of the guys from my team. The blonde next to her smiles, but Natalie’s mouth draws to one side and her eyebrows stay a fraction of an inch too high on her forehead. Polite but losing patience fast. That’s my cue.
“Natalie, thanks for coming. Sorry, man,” I say as I give her a bear hug that knocks the other guy out of the way and off balance.
“Cam, great timing as always.” She pecks my cheek and gives my scruffy chin an affectionate rub.
Creeper dude huffs and moves down the bar, and I hold up my fist for a bump.
“Lifesaver.” Natalie chuckles.
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“Mandy is a huge hockey fan.” Natalie waves a hand at her blond friend.
“Mandy, nice to meet you.” It’s not that she isn’t cute—she is. Just not my type. Jack would probably go for those big blue eyes and ample chest, though.
She shakes my offered hand but shoots an embarrassed-looking glance at Natalie instead of speaking to me.