by C. A. Harms
My heart was breaking as I hid away, witnessing this exchange. I took in a few deep breaths and stepped out in to the hallway. My mother’s back was to me, but his presence overpowered the room.
The man I had found on that website was not the man before me. That man had looked so frail and sad. This man was now twice that size. The broadness of his shoulders and the muscles of his arms filled his shirt.
His eyes locked on mine, and my mother turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes instantly filled with tears.
He stared back at me as if I was some illusion, a hallucination his mind had created. The silence was deafening, and my stomach tightened with an overwhelming urge to run.
He took a step toward me, and my mother shifted to the side. “I—” his voice cracked with emotion and he cleared his throat immediately. Hanging his head, he took in a deep, calming breath. He ran his hand into his hair and squeezed the back of his neck. When he looked back up and his eyes met mine, they were glossy. “I can’t believe this.”
“You and me both,” I whispered back.
“Can we talk, maybe take a walk?” he asked.
I could only nod. My father stood before me, looking so hopeful, and in the back of my mind I wanted to pretend this was a dream. I wanted to gather my things and run to Jett, where I could forget about all the screwed-up situations in my life. But I had to face this. My life was never great, but maybe if I took the time to get to know him, it could be better.
***
“So why did you not want to keep in contact with my mother? Or anyone for that matter?” I asked as we walked along the edge of the sand.
We had decided he would follow me to the beach, a peaceful place where we could talk. The sounds of the waves crashing and the few random tourists filtered in as we spoke.
“I couldn’t expect your mother to wait for me. I cared about her, I did, but we were young. We hadn’t known each other long, and to be honest with you, we were just having fun.” He looked up and pointed to a bench just up ahead.
I cringed at his words, having fun. Wasn’t that what Jett and I were doing? Was I repeating my mother’s path? Setting myself up to be left behind by a man I fell for.
We took a seat, looking out over the water. “I knew my life was forever changed after that night. I couldn’t ask her to wait for me. That would have been selfish,” he continued. “I cut myself off from everyone. From family, friends…every person I knew before that night. I never intended to kill that man. Knowing I did has haunted me every day since. It changed who I was, who I am. I will never be that man from twenty-five years ago. He is long gone.”
“I just found out about all of it a couple weeks ago. The stories I knew about my father were much different than the truth,” I admitted.
“I’ll be completely honest with you, Quinn.” He paused, turning to face me. “I’m not sure knowing you existed would have changed anything. I wouldn’t have wanted you to get to know me within those prison walls. It was easier not knowing what was going on outside of them. Then I couldn’t dwell on what I was missing out on. It was easier pretending nothing was happening, I just forced myself to forget everything, everyone. It may not have been the right thing to do, but twenty-five years is a long damn time. I had to handle it or let it handle me. I made those choices and didn’t look back. I shut down and became a cold man.” His voice faded, and the sound of the waves once again filled the silence between us.
We both sat staring out at the water, playing out our conversation over the last thirty minutes. I had no idea what would happen, where this would take us. I just knew that knowing the man who had a part in creating me gave me a sense of relief.
“I’d like to get to know you. All these years I thought you were just some man who ran off on my mother when she needed you most. I had this image of a guy who wanted nothing to do with his daughter. Some cruel, heartless man who would walk away from his responsibilities without looking back. Now that I know who you are, I really would like the chance to know more about you,” I admitted.
The smile pulling at his mouth made me smile in return.
“I’d like that too, very much,” he replied.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jett
I hadn’t seen Quinn in two days. She had been off work and had a lot going on. Well, that’s what the message she’d left me stated. I was in a meeting when she called, and it had been impossible to get in touch with her.
I tried to be patient, but it was impossible. I was irritable and, as Callie would put it, being a total asshole.
I had business deals to work through, and shit was piling up, but my mind was consumed with Quinn. Saying I was beyond pissed that she’d been avoiding me was accurate. Something was going on. I could feel it. It was time she cleared some shit up.
I slapped the intercom with a flip of my wrist and waited impatiently for Callie to answer.
“You still need that Midol, boss, or are you in need of some tampons instead?”
“Get in here.” I hit the button before she could respond and watched as she excused herself and walked to my office, shooting me her best death glare the entire way. Her attitude wasn’t lightening my mood.
She barged in without taking the time to knock. “Listen, asshole, I will not sit around here taking your shit. Barking demands right and left will only piss me off more. You want something from me, you ask. Got it?”
“You done now?” I asked.
“If you’re done being a whiny little bitch, then yeah, I’m done.” She placed her hands on her hips and lifted an eyebrow in question.
“I’m sorry,” I offered. She seemed to soften a little because I never apologized. “Can you help me with something?” Callie nodded and took a few steps toward me, then sat on the arm of the couch. “Quinn has been avoiding me,” I said once she’d settled. “I know she works tomorrow afternoon, but I need to talk to her now. All I’ve gotten are cryptic text messages from her. Can you help me find a way to get in touch with her? I have a feeling she is going through some heavy shit, and I need to make sure she’s all right.”
“Have you tried her emergency contact?” Callie asked.
“No.” I hadn’t even considered it.
Callie stood, walked over to my desk, and took a seat behind it. I followed and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder, silently watching as she typed Quinn’s full name into my computer.
The hourglass icon blinked as the information slowly loaded. Just as my irritation level had once again reached its peak, her employee profile popped up on the screen.
Callie grabbed the phone and dialed a number without saying a word. I sat on the edge of the desk in silence, allowing her to work her magic.
“Yes, is this Avery Miller?” She paused, waiting for the person on the other end of the line. “Great, this is Callie Emerson. I work with her at Jett’s. I was actually trying to reach her for Mr. Jameson.”
Before Callie could go any further, I pulled the phone from her hand, earning one hell of a nasty look in return. I brushed it off and held the phone to my ear.
“She’s had a really rough couple of days,” Avery stated.
“Avery, hey, this is Jett. I’ve been trying to reach her and she’s not retuning my calls.” I wasn’t trying to come across as desperate, but let’s face it, I had reached that level.
“Hey, Jett,” she replied. “Quinn has honestly had a pretty shitty time over the last couple days. She just needs time to cope.”
“What do you mean, cope? What’s going on?” I asked, concern washing over me.
“Not really my story to tell, sorry. She needs to be the one to explain, when she’s ready.”
Avery’s words only pissed me off further.
“Listen, I know she cares about you, Jett. Quinn is just the type of person who hides behind her fears. Right now she has a lot on her plate, so pushing you away is what she’s doing.” She took in a deep breath before continuing. “Don’t let her.”
&nbs
p; “How in the hell would you suggest I stop her?” I asked.
“She is off from Spencer’s tonight,” she answered. “We made plans to go out. I’m going to be straight with you. I’m worried about her too. She’s been drinking a lot the last couple nights, and that isn’t like her, but that’s how she handles things. I’m thinking maybe she needs to feel like someone is fighting for her for a change. Maybe she needs to know someone thinks she comes first.”
“Tell me where to be,” I replied. I had no problem with what she was suggesting. Quinn had crawled beneath my skin, and her pushing me away was not an option. I wouldn’t walk away that easily. I meant what I had said to her—I don’t give up on something I want.
After Avery gave me the address of the party they were going to, I made a couple calls myself. Kade and his cousin, Clayton, would be coming along. I hated parties, but knowing Quinn would be there left me no other option. I would be there too.
***
“Come on, assholes, I was supposed to be there over an hour ago,” I yelled back to them as I climbed out of Kade’s Tahoe.
I didn’t like knowing that Quinn had been here, drinking, without me. We hadn’t given a name to what was going on between us, but as far as I was concerned, she was mine from the moment she let me take her home with me that first night. She’d just taken a little longer to figure it out, and I guessed she needed a little reminder.
The moment I spotted her, I knew she was lit. Quinn was usually quiet and more the type to blend in. Seeing her in the middle of a crowd shaking her ass was a sure sign she’d had too much to drink. Avery stood to her right, and the moment her eyes locked with mine, she gave me an apologetic look.
Two guys stood right at Quinn’s side, entirely too close, in my opinion. The looks they were passing back and forth lit a fire within me. One move from either one of them was all it would take to set me off.
Kade stepped up to my side and squared his shoulders. “You gonna let that happen?” he asked.
I didn’t have to look at him to know he was watching the same thing I was. “I’m not letting shit happen. Just waiting to see how she reacts.”
I was curious what Quinn would do. The way we had met was a little unorthodox. I found myself wondering if Quinn would once again follow temptation or if I’d just gotten lucky that night. I needed to know if she felt the same way about me as I did about her.
Clayton stepped up next to Kade and handed him two beers as he passed one along to me. I stood, casually sipping from the bottle, waiting for things to unfold.
“Well, if it isn’t Jett Jameson.” I cringed immediately. Shay’s familiar coo to my left came just before she slid her hand over my stomach. “This party was beginning to get a little boring, but I feel that’s changing real fast.”
“Shay.” I placed my hand over hers and gently removed it from my stomach. She pouted in response, and I fought against rolling my eyes at her lame attempt at being cute. Okay, so when I was a horny teenager it may have been, but now she just looked pathetic.
A commotion caught my attention. I looked back to Quinn just in time to see a guy curled up on the floor holding his junk. Quinn was yelling at him while his friend attempted to hold her back.
“What the hell happened?” I asked Kade. He was laughing so hard he was holding his ribs. Clayton was laughing as well, but he pointed his hand out to Quinn.
“Dude that was some funny shit. Best thing I’ve seen in a long time. Your girl just dropped that guy like a rock. She punched his dick like a professional boxer.” He chuckled, and I instantly felt proud.
Handing my beer off, I walked toward Quinn with determination and a sense of pride. I slid between her and the guy who thought it was okay to put his hands on her, gripped his shirt, helping him as he stood from the floor. Once he had righted himself, I shoved him, causing him to stumble backward. “Keep your fucking hands off my girl,” I snarled. He held his hands up in surrender as he gained his footing.
Turning to face Quinn, I wasted no time. I bent down and tossed her up and over my shoulder, giving her no possible chance to run. Avery watched in awe, grinning. She said nothing as I walked away, carrying a not-so-happy Quinn. She kicked her legs and punched my back with her tiny fists as I carried her through the party and right out the front door.
“Put me down, this is not okay. Jett, let me go—now,” she screamed. “I’m gonna call the cops, you ass. Put me down.”
I chuckled at her lame attempt to scare me into letting her go. In her current state, I wasn’t even sure she could dial a phone without seeing double.
Once I was far enough away from the house, I placed her on her feet and pinned her to the car we were standing in front of, with one arm on each side of her body, my palms flat on the hood.
I locked eyes with her and my determination did not falter. I was irritated, and her little fit was making it a whole lot worse. “Call the police,” I snarled. “You can scream bloody murder for all I care. Your ass is not walking out of here in this condition, plain and simple, so quit your damn bitching and accept it.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and her nostrils flared. Yeah, as if I cared she was pissed. I was pissed too, so we were about to have a fucking battle of wills here.
“I never asked for you to show up here and rescue me.” She gritted her teeth. “I don’t need you to save me. I’m fine on my own. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t need your help,” she practically growled.
I looked down at the ground between us, trying to control my anger. At times I wondered why in the hell I even bothered. Then I looked up and my stare met hers and I remembered, my stomach lurching at the hidden pain in her eyes, the façade she was trying so hard to keep up. I could see right through her act, and all I wanted to do was comfort her.
“Are you ever just gonna stop fighting this?” I asked. “Damn, Quinn, do you always have to be so difficult?” I pinned her with my hips. “Shit, woman, you drive me nuts. You can piss me off more than anyone I know.”
“If I drive you so nuts, then why bother? I’m not worth it, really, I’m not. Please, just walk away, Jett. Find someone with less issues than I have. Someone that can make you happy.” She hung her head, and her forehead rested against my chest. “I’m not that girl,” she whispered.
I gently combed my fingers through her hair, breathing in her scent. “Just shut up, please.” I gripped the back of her neck and directed her to lift her head. Her eyes appeared glossy, and the sight of them pulled at something deep inside me. Leaning forward, I kissed her lips softly, allowing my forehead to rest against hers. “I’m not going anywhere, you stubborn-ass woman. I’m here, I’m in this. So stop pushing so hard to get me to walk away.” I kissed her once more and skimmed the tip of my nose along hers. “I don’t walk away from the things I want, Quinn.”
I placed my hands on each side of her face, leaving her no choice other than to look at me. “I want you.” I paused as she closed her eyes tightly, fighting against the emotion I see taking over her beautiful features.
“You are that girl,” I spoke with certainty.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Quinn
“Let’s get you out of here. Come home with me so we can talk,” Jett spoke against my ear. He held me close as I rested my head against his shoulder.
“Talking is so overrated,” I whispered. “I’ve talked so much over the last couple days, yet nothing has changed. Talking doesn’t fix anything.”
“Baby, it does if the person you’re talking to is really listening. I’m listening, Quinn. Whatever is going on, I want to help. I want to be here for you. Let me.” He kissed my forehead and soothingly rubbed my back.
I allowed him to guide me to a dark SUV with tinted windows. When he opened the door, I realized we weren’t alone. Kade and another guy were in the front, both offering a kind smile. Seeing Avery in the backseat surprised me. She hugged me before sliding toward the opposite side of the vehicle, allowing me to take a
seat next to her. Jett took the empty space next to me, holding me close to his side.
I allowed my head to rest against his shoulder, closing my eyes, concentrating solely on him. My stomach was churning and my head was pounding. All the reasons why I normally don’t drink were coming back to me now.
They dropped off Avery first, and she leaned over Jett’s lap and kissed my forehead. “Call me tomorrow, love. He cares, let him. You deserve someone who’ll fight. Let him in, let him fight,” she whispered. After kissing me once more, she then placed a kiss on Jett’s cheek and waved bye to the guys in the front.
The ride to Jett’s was quiet, and if my mind hadn’t been racing a hundred miles a minute, I may have fallen asleep.
I didn’t fight Jett when he picked me up and carried me to his front door. I also didn’t fight his insistence when he carried me inside and placed me on the couch. My fight was gone. The last couple days had drained any I’d had left.
He sat down next to me. I rested my head against the back of the couch as I looked up at him.
“I don’t belong in your world, Jett,” I whispered. He frowned, but I continued before he could speak. I knew if I didn’t I may not tell him what I needed to say. “My mother is an alcoholic. She has been my entire life. My father is a felon. Hell, I didn’t even know who my father was until a few days ago.” I took in a deep breath and looked down at my hands. “I’m a poor waitress just trying to get by from day to day.”
“I don’t give a shit about who your parents are, Quinn.” He tilted my chin up by placing his finger under my jaw. “‘Your world’? What the hell does that mean, anyway?” he asked. “We live in the same world. Do you think I give a damn about money? They are just that, possessions. They don’t make up who we are. You are an amazing person, regardless of where you came from or what you have in your bank account.”
“I’m embarrassed by my life.” I admitted. “I don’t want you to judge me based on those things.”