by Rhian Ivory
‘I did it,’ he announces, instead of hi or hello or how are you.
‘Did what?’
He’s just whizzed forwards to what matters, like we do in our texts.
‘I left.’
‘Well, yeah, I can see that. You’re here, aren’t you.’ Why is he stating the obvious?
‘No, I mean really left. Left.’
‘What? The farm?’ I ask, getting it now.
‘Yeah!’ He grins, but I can tell he’s nervous about it. ‘I’m after seeing the world.’
‘Really?’ I didn’t think he’d ever do it. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Everywhere. To all the places!’ he says happily. We face one another, his face lit by the street lamp, he’s really smiling and I find myself mirroring him.
‘You booked a ticket?’ I feel the pleasure of it for him, his sense of achievement.
‘Yes!I’m going to…’ he starts, but I hold up my hand.
‘Hang on a minute, Dublin. Are you telling me that you’re not over here to see me? You’re seriously saying I’m just a stop off on your great big adventure?’
I ruin the moment by grinning. He looks very relieved.
‘Ah, here, I thought you were serious then. I mean I could have flown from anywhere, right? I didn’t have to choose Birmingham Airport. Come on now, give me a break?’ He pushes me gently. ‘And I didn’t come empty-handed. Oh no, Ms Caps Lock. I bought you something.’ He rummages in his jacket pocket and pulls out a box. It looks like a jeweller’s box.
‘If you get down on one knee I’m out of here.’
The lining is blue with a bracelet sitting in the middle. I pick it out – a brown plaited leather band with a small silver link which has be brave engraved on it. Riley puts it around my wrist.
‘Thank you, it’s beautiful.’ I look at it rather than him.
‘Apparently these bracelets are all the rage with the PMDD crew or at least that’s what the lads on the forum told me,’ he says. ‘I hope I’ve got the right one…’ He tails off.
‘What forum?’ I’m lost. ‘Which lads?’
‘A PMDD one that I joined. Deadly serious now, I didn’t know there were so many of you out there. And good woman yourself dealing with all that shite on your own until now,’ he adds, looking at me like I’m some kind of wonder. ‘I know you don’t need it to remind you to be brave, you’re already there, but I hope you like it?’ He sounds so unsure of himself, so different in person.
‘I love it. You really did it then, you really booked a ticket. And you told your dad? Please don’t tell me you’ve run away?’ I half joke and he gets it. He remembers what he said to me on the ferry.
‘Everyone’s a comedian. I told me da how I felt and it didn’t go well, but he said he’d work something out, even gave me a wee bonus on top of my wages. Said it wasn’t fair, like, to me. So I headed to the big city before he could change his mind. This is all because of you, y’know?’ he adds quietly. We’re stood very close to one another now.
‘Because of me?’ We’re inches apart.
‘Yeah, you, Hope.’ I can hear his breathing in between his words. He says my name in a way that makes sense, in a language I’m fluent in.
‘I heard you sing, in the church. I snuck in at the back,’ he whispers, and I wonder why he’s whispering. It’s not as if there’s anyone else out here.
‘You did?’ I whisper back.
‘Yeah, I sat next to some old guy. He moved his hat so I could sit down and then started telling me all about his granddaughter in the choir and how amazing she is. He said, “Wait until you hear her voice, you will have heard nothing like it,” and then I knew who he was. Your Nonno!’ He waves his hands around as if he orchestrated the whole thing.
‘And?’ I want more. I press the new bracelet against my skin.
‘And he was right. I’ll not lie to you now, you almost made me cry in there.’
‘Oh,’ I reply articulately.
‘Yeah, oh,’ he teases, moving in closer.
‘Did Nonno realise who you are? Or did you tell him?’ I want to know if they talked about me.
‘Course. I introduced myself to your man, would have been rude not to,’ he smiles. I wonder what Nonno thought of him. I want to know if he liked him.
‘And?’ I lean in to hear his answer.
Riley closes his eyes as he tries to remember Nonno’s words. ‘He said, “Good to meet you at last.”’
‘So, what happens now?’ We’re back to standing and staring.
‘I guess we should talk about the thing we’re both not talking about?’
I know exactly what he means.
‘I got in, I passed my audition!’ I manage to get the words past my massive smile. ‘Is that what you meant, Birmingham Music College?’ Maybe he was on about something else.
‘I knew you’d do it, and after hearing you sing tonight, the lads in that music school would be mad to turn you down. You’re all set then!’ He reaches forward and hugs me like he’s been waiting for the right moment. After what feels like quite a long time he pulls back. I look into his eyes – there’s no sea between us now, nothing to divide us.
‘So, are you going to email or text me from Canada? Or is it Australia? No, wait, don’t tell me… New Zealand?’
‘Harsh, Hope! But yeah, there might be a wee bit of truth in what you say.’
I fiddle with his bracelet, read the words again.
‘And?’
‘And what?’
‘Do you want to carry on while I’m at music college and you’re off on your travels?’
‘Maybe. If you do?’
‘Definitely. And you’ll be coming back, not disappearing off the face of the earth again?’
‘Maybe coming back. Definitely not disappearing. Scout’s honour.’
‘So, I’ll call you then or email, whatever. Even better, how about a plan B?’
‘Maybe, depends what your plan involves.’
‘I’m doing a bit of travelling myself actually.’
‘Are you, actually? Where you going then?’
‘Italy. I’ll be there for Christmas.’
‘Bueno.’
‘Yeah, except it’s bene.’
‘Anyway, tell me about this plan B.’
‘Right, plan B. I was thinking, maybe we could meet up, in Italy?’
‘You and me, Ms Caps Lock?’
‘Yeah, you and me, Dublin!You know, if you want to, maybe?’
‘Definitely.’
And although it’s not quite the Empire State Building – and it’s raining, and there isn’t a gentle Hollywood breeze blowing through my hair – we stand together holding handson a Saturday night on Charlotte Street.
Acknowledgements
I always read the acknowledgements first when I buy a book, I like to know about the team behind it because as we all know it does take a team, if not a whole village, to write a book. For Hope, I had a very BIG team so bear with me while I thank them all (brace yourself for a long list).
Firstly, thanks to my editor, Janet Thomas, who loved Hope from the start and understood the story I was trying to tell even when I didn’t quite get it myself. Janet is one of those editors who sits quietly listening to me talk about my characters and then asks me one very intelligent and leading question. This question sends me off down a rabbit hole and when I emerge much later she’s there, ready and waiting with another question. Diolch, Janet.
Secondly, thanks to my agent, Gillie Russell, who also loved Hope from the start and talked about my characters like they were real people. When Gillie talked about Nonno or Kofi I felt as if she really knew them and that made all the difference. Thank you for reading so many drafts of Hope, Gillie, and always responding as if it was the first time.
I had a talented team of early readers for Hope and I can’t express in words how much it means to have had such passionate feedback and responses. Thanks to: Jo Nadin for falling in love with Riley – I so enjoyed your updates as y
ou read; Katy Moran for your hawk-eye editorial skills and understanding of those hospital scenes & love for Nonno; Eve Ainsworth for excellent notes, completely and utterly getting Hope and all your help on shoutlines; Eloise Williams for your wise words of wisdom, constant support, humour and lifesaving daily chats; Joanna Courtney for your detailed feedback and encouragement; and Becca Kelly for your wonderful notes and meetings over coffee – Becca, you should have been an editor. And of course, last but not least, thanks to Helen Tracey (also known as Mum) who has read everything I’ve ever written and amazingly continues to do so, even when I use swear words.
Grazie molto to the PR wonder that is Megan Farr. Meg was my go-to-girl for all things Italian and I hope Luca didn’t mind me borrowing his name.
Thank you to my publisher, Penny Thomas who has the power to say yes or no. Hopefully, (see what I did there) she’ll continue to say yes.
When I applied for an Arts Council Grant for Hope, I didn’t think I’d get it. It sounded too good to be true but when that brown envelope arrived with those magical words (and the all-important offer of money) it gave me the courage and the faith to write this book which at times has been challenging. Thanks to Zoe Marriott for talking me through the complicated process, I’d never have done it without you. The year I spent writing full-time was one of the best of my life and I’m eternally grateful to the Arts Council (and Zoe) for making Hope happen.
When Guy and Eloise Manning (the artistic dream team) told me their vision for the cover of Hope I almost swooned – they described the very first picture I had of Hope in my head, before I’d even written the first line of the opening scene. Guy did such a wonderful job with The Boy who Drew the Future, I knew Hope was in the best of hands. Thank you both for all your support, you disgustingly talented couple.
Thanks to Rebecca Ledgard, Singing Medicine™ Co-creator (with Sally Spencer) and Director of Education for Ex Cathedra for meeting with me one rainy morning in Birmingham to tell me all about how Singing Medicine came to be. Singing Medicine is part of Ex Cathedra’s education and participation programme. Thanks to the whole Singing Medicine team and Birmingham Children’s Hospital for inviting me to follow you round the hospital with my notebook and pen and many questions. The biggest thanks of all goes to the patients of BCH who let me sing with them and the nurses who were very nice when I got in their way.
Singing Medicine is a registered trademark and can only be delivered by Ex Cathedra’s Singing Medicine team. http://excathedra.co.uk/education-particaption/singing-medicine
I’d also like to give a big shout out to Readathon. Last year they gave over 25,000 new books and provided 210 storytelling days in hospitals, bringing the magic of books and stories to over 100,000 seriously ill children and their families.
readforgood.org
I’d like to thank all my students for being so supportive of my books but special thanks go to Asia Khan and Fatima Patas for our many conversations about hijabs, Muslim culture and children’s literature. Your detailed answers to my many questions are much appreciated as is your enthusiasm for Hope. I’m so proud to be Bordesley Green Girls School’s Patron of Reading and I’d like to say a big hello to the students and staff and a massive thank you for being so excited about Hope.
Kate Taylor, you were very helpful with your local knowledge and love for Shrewsbury. Thank you for telling me about The Bird’s Nest Café.
Rachel Lucas and Dawn Jones, you both gave me invaluable (and honest!) advice and insights into autism, travelling with an autistic child and the education system. Thank you for letting me borrow the social stories book idea, Dawn, and for sharing Otis’s with me. I hope I have got it right with Ethan, any mistakes are of course my own.
I really don’t know where I’d be without my YA writing group, you help in every way imaginable, making me laugh, improving my shoutlines and keeping me calm on a daily basis. Big hugs to Keris Stainton who let me use her gorgeous book Starring Kitty in Hope. If you haven’t already read it, go, what are you waiting for?
Whenever I’ve had a problem in my life I’ve turned to books, fiction and non-fiction alike to show me the right path or at least point me in the direction of a new one. I was so pleased to see http://reading-well.org.uk/ set up Books on Prescription, if Hope helps just one reader with any of the issues covered then I’m happy.
Thanks to all my readers and friends on social media who have been so supportive about Hope.
Kisses and cwtches to my family (sorry, Evie for accidentally calling you Hope) for putting up with someone who lives half in the real world and half in a made up one. The best world is the one with you all in it x
Ex Cathedra:
Ex Cathedra is a leading UK choir and Early Music ensemble with a repertoire that reaches from the 12th to the 21st centuries. They are known for their passion for seeking out the best, the unfamiliar and the unexpected in the choral repertoire and for giving dynamic performances underpinned by detailed research. Founded in 1969 by Jeffrey Skidmore OBE, the group has grown into a unique musical resource, comprising specialist chamber choir, vocal Consort, period-instrument orchestra and a thriving education and participation programme, aiming to explore, research and commission the finest choral music and to set the highest standards for excellence in performance and training. Singing Medicine™ is Ex Cathedra’s award-winning project for children in hospital.
Author’s Note
PMDD Support groups and advice:
NAPS – http://www.pms.org.uk/
PMDD awareness UK – https://www.facebook.com/pmddawarenessuk/ Gia Allemande Foundation – https://giaallemandfoundation.org/
GURL – http://www.gurl.com/2014/11/06/pmdd- information-facts-treatment-for-teen-girls/ TEEN PMDD – http://teenpmdd.weebly.com/
break the cycle 2017 PMDD Annual Conference October 4 – 6, 2017 www.giaallemanfoundation.org
Further reading available on the Hope page at the Firefly website www.fireflypress.co.uk
First published in 2017
by Firefly Press
25 Gabalfa Road, Llandaff North, Cardiff, CF14 2JJ
www.fireflypress.co.uk
Copyright © Rhian Ivory 2017
The author asserts her moral right to be identified as author in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act, 1988.
All rights reserved.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form, binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 9781910080627
ebook ISBN 9781910080634
This book has been published with the support of the Welsh Books Council and an Arts Council Author Grant