“I was told you were infertile, but I don’t see that anywhere in your file.” He wasn’t even looking at the file as he spoke. He was watching me.
“My old alpha and I tried to get pregnant for years. We went to the doctor and they told us it was impossible and that was that.” That was me getting kicked out, but he didn’t need to know that information.
“Did they specifically say you were the problem?”
“They just said it was impossible.” Shit, what was he getting at?
“I read through your file, all your fertility tests look fine.” Fuckity fuck fuck. “Why did you think it was you?”
“I wanted to ask more, but my alpha yelled at them, saying they were incompetent if they couldn’t find what was wrong so we could fix it. I’m not sure if I assumed it was me after that or if he made me think that.” As this started to unravel before me, so many emotions filled me. Anger, fear, hope.
“I’ll pardon your French as well.” He chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood. He could see the distress I was in. I wasn’t even trying to hide it.
“I messed up.”
“How’s that?” He looked perplexed, as if he knew none of the mess I was facing was my fault. Except that he was missing one key item. Or lack thereof: a condom.
“I –I had unprotected sex with an alpha during my heat or maybe heat. The breakthrough I told the nurse about.”
“Your alpha?” he tried to clarify.
“Not that one, no.” Never again, that asshat. “A new one. We thought it was safe.” I told him it was safe. He trusted me and I misled him. Not on purpose, but I should have known. I should have asked the right questions back then instead of holding a pity party for one.
“The nurse should be back here any moment to know if this is even a thing you need to be worried about.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, in comfort. I was normally not ok with strange alpha’s touch, but in this case, I needed his assurance because it felt like my world was spinning and I was about to be thrown off.
“How could I be so dumb?” I sobbed. “I believed him. My old alpha, I mean.”
“To be fair, your doctor played a part in this as well.” He offered me a tissue. “When was this unprotected sex?”
“Two weeks ago.” I took the proffered tissue and blew my nose, all hope of decorum gone.
“Then the test should be accurate. Two weeks is about the best time to test. Then of course, comes the scent, but you still have a little bit of time for that to kick in—or not.” At this point I wasn’t registering his words. I just needed the nurse to come in and let me know it was all going to be okay.
Two knocks came as the door opened. This was it. This was the moment that would change everything. Or not. The glint in her eyes gave nothing away. I sucked in my breath waiting for her to give me the news. Instead, she handed the doctor a paper before excusing herself.
His smile was tentative. What did that mean?
“Well, Oliver, it seems that congratulations are in order.”
34
Wyatt
I gave Oliver an hour after his scheduled appointment before I tried calling him. An hour should be enough time, right? Unless the office had gotten backed up. I was surprised he hadn’t texted me yet. His phone rang three times and then went to voicemail. Was something wrong? Was he still in the doctor's office?
Chloe and Faith had stopped by on their way to the library and that had been only about thirty minutes ago, so in between appointments, I headed home. Maybe Oliver had finished up and was taking a nap.
"Anyone home?" I called as I came in the backdoor, feeling silly, calling out if no one was home.
But a moment later, I heard Oliver's voice. "Here."
He was in the living room, his legs pulled up against his chest, his eyes reddened with tears. I went to him immediately, wrapping my arms around him. "What's wrong? You saw the doctor, right? Whatever it is, we'll handle it."
I was doing my best to not flash back to when Jen found out she had cancer, but the similarities were too similar. She'd gone in for a simple pregnancy checkup, planning on asking the doctor about her migraines. Three hours later, she was sitting me down and we were discussing options.
"Tell me, Oliver. You're scaring me."
He took a shuddering breath and more tears leaked out of his eyes. He stared ahead into nothing, his arms still wrapped tightly around his knees. I felt like I was hugging a rock. I just needed him to say something. Whatever it was, we could handle it, I just needed him to tell me what it was.
"I'm pregnant," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
I loosened my arms to pull back so I could look him in the eyes.
"What?"
Oliver buried his face in his arms, but said it louder, "I'm pregnant."
But that was—why was he crying? That was, that was amazing news! Oliver was going to be a dad. I was going to be a dad again! Chloe was going to be a big sister. And most importantly, Oliver wasn't dying. There were so many emotions tumbling over each other, I scarcely knew how to react. My arms were trembling with excitement and relief. I wanted to talk to Oliver, to daydream about our future together. But I only had a few minutes before a scheduled surgery. I squeezed Oliver's shoulders. "I have to go, but we'll talk when I get back, okay?" I leaned in to give him a kiss on the back of the head. "I'll try to wrap up early today," I promised.
Oliver nodded his head but didn't lift it.
We had to tell Chloe. First, we had to tell her about Oliver and I. And Oliver could move into my room, and we could turn his room into a nursery. There were other options in the house, but that was the closest to our room. Oliver was pregnant!
My heart was near to bursting. He must feel so overwhelmed after thinking he was barren for so many years. I'd seen how much he loved kids when he talked about them when I'd first interviewed him. And how good he was with Chloe! I wished I'd had time to talk through his feelings with him before I went back to work. I could tell he'd been overwhelmed. His entire world had just changed. I wondered what had led him to think he was barren. He said he'd been with his previous alpha for a while, the asshole. Maybe the jerk was the one shooting blanks.
It didn't matter. Oliver and I were going to have a baby!
It was hard, but I was able to push the good news from my mind long enough to focus on the surgery. I didn't have anything scheduled after that, and I cleaned up hurriedly afterward. I couldn't wait to talk to Oliver. Though Chloe might be home already, so we might have to wait until after her bedtime, but we could tell her about us. That Oliver was part of our family now. And then Oliver and I could talk. And snuggle. I just wanted to snuggle the hell out of him right now.
I was just closing down my computer to head home when Sally came rushing in. "Doc, we need you. We've got a litter of puppies that got singed a bit in a fire, maybe some smoke damage."
I felt a sense of shame for feeling like running away, running to Oliver, but my sense of duty took over quickly. "Show me what you've got."
My two favorite firefighters, by which I meant Chloe's favorite firefighters, Dash and Rafe, were already carrying two small pet carriers.
"Hey, guys, what do we have here?"
Dash lifted his carrier to the table and I opened it. "Three pups and a mama," he said. "External injuries, just a few singed ears and tails, but we can't tell how much smoke they might have inhaled.
"I've got the mama here," Rafe added.
I took each puppy and examined it individually. Sally and two other techs took each pup to give them a gentle bath and apply ointment as I finished with them. "They seem to be breathing okay, but we'll start them off with some blood tests to make sure." I looked to Sally and she nodded. I knew she would handle that. "Now let's see mama."
Rafe lifted the second crate to the table and I opened up the gate. "Come on, mama. We're taking good care of your puppies. Why don't you come out too? That's a good girl."
The small dog wagged her tail shyly as she ste
pped out of the crate, but her eyes were alert and interested. Her tail was singed, but I wouldn't know the extent of the damage until I could remove the burned hair. Like the puppies, she didn't have any external signs of smoke inhalation, but we'd run the tests on her too.
"Thanks for bringing them in, Dash, Rafe." I shook their hands as they prepared to leave, their faces still soot-striped and half in their gear.
"Couldn't exactly take them to the shelter, could we?" Dash said ruefully. Rafe nodded in agreement. They'd brought me many animals over the years, the big softies.
"When are you going to take one home?" I teased. I'd been pushing them to adopt for years.
"You know I'm never home," Dash protested. "That just wouldn't be fair."
"Every firehouse needs a dog," I countered. Rafe just smiled. He was the quieter of the two, but Dash more than made up for it.
The dogs had momentarily distracted me from my need to be with Oliver.
"Sally, you got this? Call me if anything comes up?"
"You got it, Doc."
Finally, I was out the door, running across my yard, bursting into the kitchen, slowing down but bouncing into the living room with enthusiasm. Faith jumped at my entrance, but Chloe jumped up and gave me a hug, her little shoulders shaking, clearly upset about something. "Is Oliver in his room?" I asked. He was probably exhausted from all the emotions today.
Faith gave me an odd look. "He left," she said.
That was strange. Unless he went out to buy prenatal vitamins. Or if the doctor had given him any prescriptions.
"He said don't worry about the last paycheck."
A sense of dread buried deep in my gut as I tried to process what Faith was saying. A million questions popped into my mind, but I knew she wouldn't know. I ran up the stairs and threw Oliver's bedroom door open, fearing what I would find.
Everything was gone, not that he'd had much. But now there was nothing. I sank to the floor, Chloe wailing in my arms, asking when Oliver was coming back. I wanted to join her, one word echoing in my mind. Why?
35
Oliver
I have to go, but we'll talk when I get back, okay?
Wyatt’s words kept playing over and over again in my head. I had imagined him doing many things; being angry, accusing me of being dishonest, crying, heck, I even had him crying tears of joy in one version. Never, not once, did it enter my mind that he would simply walk away, unaffected.
I had fooled myself into believing he cared about me, loved me even. I let my wants and desires imprint upon his actions, interpreting them so completely wrong because that was the way I wanted them. Had I really been so lonely and desperate? Clearly, the answer was a resounding yes.
I sat on that couch crying in disbelief for ten minutes, sure he would come back to me. When he didn’t, I knew what I had to do. I needed to go.
I ran upstairs, throwing everything I owned in my bags. Thankfully, I had little. I was packing the car when Faith and Chloe returned. This was going to be the hard part. Not that there was any easy part of it. The entire situation was a cluster fuck.
“Oliver.” Chloe ran at me, jumping into my arms. “Why are you sad?”
“Chloe bear, I’m sad because I need to go.”
“Will you be home for dinner?” she asked hopefully.
“No, baby girl. I won’t.” I hugged her tight before kissing the top of her head and then attempted to put her down. She was having no part of that and clung to me like a little monkey. “I need to go back to work in the city.”
“But you work here.” And that was when her first tear fell. I was an awful human being. My careless actions lead to her tears. I deserved the pain, not her.
“I’m sorry, but I have to.”
“You’re supposed to become one of my daddies,” she shouted, tears flowing freely. “I wished in the fountain at Disney and everything.”
“I’m so sorry baby girl. I wish I could stay, but you have your dad. He is the best dad in the world.” He was. She would be fine. Nannies come and go. Dads stay, and her dad was the best man I knew. He might not love me the way I wanted him too, but that didn’t detract from his worth.
“He is, but so are you.”
“Faith,” I called out, needing her help. If Chloe stayed in my arms, begging the way she was, I was going to chicken out and go back inside only to leave again later, causing the hurt twice. The band-aid method was the best one in this situation.
“Bye, baby girl.” I kissed her head once more before handing her to Faith. “I will call you. Promise.”
I all but jumped in the car knowing if I gave it a second thought I would only prolong all of our agony. If I lived to be a hundred and fifty, I would never forget the look of hurt in her eyes as I passed her to Faith. If only I could stay… but her dad didn’t want me, or more accurately, our baby, and no matter how much it hurt, I needed to go.
I drove to Café Om. I needed to make it all the way back to the city, but my eyes were too tear-filled to see clearly enough. I planned to grab a cup of coffee, call Marge and beg for my job back, pull my shit together and then drive the rest of the way. The plan was a good one, except for the impossibility of pulling my shit together.
I stepped into Om, grateful Marcus wasn’t there. I liked him well enough, but the last thing I wanted to do was talk, and that was Marcus’s favorite pastime. That and trying to score an alpha. I ordered my coffee and found a spot in the furthest corner before dialing the phone.
“Hello, Oliver. Long time, no hear. How are you?” Marge sounded chipper. Chipper was good. I needed some sunshine in this car wreck of a day.
“Not good.” I held in a sob. “Can I come back?”
“It depends.” Marge put on her boss voice. I needed friend Marge now, but beggars can’t be choosers. “Why do you want to?”
I told her everything. The good. The bad. Okay, not everything. I left out the sexy parts, but everything else fell out of my mouth. It felt good to share it all, even if it resulted in four napkin’s worth of tears.
“You are just as dumb as Wyatt is,” she snapped at me when I finished telling my tale of heartbreak.
“Excuse me?” That was not the answer I had expected, but it did manage to slow the flow of tears. Small favors.
“You heard me, and no you may not come back.” Whoa, she was pissed. A pissed Marge was not a Marge to be messing with. “Get your ass home and fix things with your alpha.”
“But he doesn’t want us.”
“What did I say before?” she scolded. Thank goodness the place was empty. Between my tears and the way I just cowered in my chair at her scolding, I was a hot omega mess.
“That I was as dumb as Wyatt?” I repeated.
“Yes.” She let out a huff. “That. Embrace that shit and move on. Wyatt froze because you offered him the impossible—a child. Which, by the way… congratulations you’re going to make an amazing father.”
She was all over the place, but fair enough, since I was too.
“What do you mean?” I began to shred my remaining whole napkin. She better not make me cry again because I was about to have no napkins left.
“I mean he was in disbelief. If he were angry or upset you would’ve known. Trust me. Alphas don’t hold that shit inside.”
I allowed my head to bang on the table. She was right. I was as dumb as Wyatt. Scratch that. I was dumber.
“But he just walked out.” Why I was trying to make my case when it was already lost, I had no idea, but there I sat doing just that.
“To go where?”
“… Surgery.” And now I felt lower than mud. He went to save an animal’s life, not play cards. How had I turned so selfish, so quickly?
“Was that something you’d want him to skip?”
“Of course not.” I could hear her tapping her nails on the other side of the line. She was waiting for me to confess all the conclusions I had just drawn. Why was it, again, I called her out of all people? Oh yeah, because she would set my
dumb self straight. “Shit. Fine. You’re right I am as dumb as Wyatt. How do I fix it? I broke that little girl’s heart.”
“Then go back and fix it.” Because of course it was that easy.
“Thank you,” I murmured. Still unsure how I was going to fix the mess I had just gotten myself into, but determined to do exactly that.
“You know that if you really needed a place to stay, I’d open my arms wide.” Good old Marge. I needed to send her flowers when this was all over with.
“I know, Marge. Thanks for talking me down from the crazy.”
“For what it’s worth, half of it was your hormones.” She laughed at her own joke.
“The other half?” I took her bait, because frankly, if it lightened her day after calling her with my troubles, then it was so worth being razzed by Marge.
“You’re as dumb as Wyatt. Good luck.”
“I’m gonna need it.” I hung up.
I looked at my phone. I had been gone almost an hour and a half. I didn’t know what kind of surgery Wyatt had scheduled, but maybe I could be back before Wyatt returned. I would still need to let him know what went down, but maybe hearing about me leaving instead of coming home to me being gone would be easy. Who was I fooling? None of this was going to be easy on any of us.
As I walked past the counter, a row of cookies caught my eye. Unicorns. Rainbow colored unicorns. If that wasn’t a sign, I didn’t know what was. I bought the entire tray before heading back to my family. Or at least, they would be by nightfall if I had any say in the matter.
36
Wyatt
I stared at my phone, locking and unlocking it. I needed to call Oliver. But what would I say?
Faith had taken Chloe downstairs for a snack, but I was still on the floor just inside Oliver's room. What had happened? Had I misread the situation? Did Oliver not want the baby? I finally gathered up the courage to press dial just as the front door opened and the most delicious scent wafted up the stairs. I sprang to my feet. It was Oliver's scent, honey and lavender.
His Manny Omega Page 13