by David Thorne
But one consequence of his act is that he seems happier than he has for weeks. I know that Gabe loved war, loved the concept of taking lives for the greater good, however abhorrent that idea is to most of us. Perhaps he has got his temporary fix. But his journey did not end with that shot. I have the feeling that it has only just begun, and I cannot help but wonder if it can possibly end happily.
Maria and I sit in an uncomfortable, charged silence, and she shivers as a cold wind blows across the dark courts. It is now a week since Baldwin was shot but the papers are still full of his death, and theories about his involvement in Rosie O’Shaughnessy’s murder. It has been speculated that he was killed for what he did to her, and I suppose that, in a way, he was; ultimately, he brought his death upon himself. Even as I think it, I wonder if I am being deliberately glib, simplifying the story to absolve myself of any guilt. But at the same time, I do not care too much. I am no supporter of the death penalty, yet I cannot help but think that the world is a far better place for his killing. It is a hypocrisy that I am comfortable with.
‘I was thinking,’ I say.
‘Steady,’ says Maria.
‘I’m sorry about before, when we talked. About going out.’
‘Oh,’ says Maria, and looks down at her glass, swirls it.
‘I’m not an easy person to live with,’ I say. ‘I can be difficult.’
Maria looks at me and her eyes are wide and candid and lovely. ‘Everybody can be difficult.’
‘I wouldn’t want to hurt you.’
‘It’s just a date, you moron,’ she says. ‘Tell you what. If you upset me, I’ll call a taxi.’
I smile at her easy pragmatism. She is right. Why does everything have to be so complicated? ‘Would you like to go to dinner with me?’ I say.
‘When?’
‘Now.’
She downs her drink easily, sets it down exaggeratedly hard on the outside table. ‘Where are you parked?’
We get up and she picks up her bag and we walk towards the exit to the tennis club, between dark hedges and into the yellow gleam of a streetlight, and somewhere along the way she puts her arm through mine and for the first time in a long time I think that things might really be looking up.