He was silent for a long time. The seconds ticked by, each rubbing her nerves raw as she waited for the ax to fall.
“You quit,” he said.
She glanced up. “That’s what you took from my confession?”
“Why?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I hit you with my car.”
“Because you were upset. I’d done something so bad you left a job you obviously love.”
She threw up her hands. “Stop it. Don’t rationalize this away. Don’t you understand? I cost a billionaire the brain he needs to run an empire. I damaged the company. When you get your memories back, you are going to hate me. You’ll press charges, and I’ll deserve it.” She pushed herself even farther back on the couch. “I can’t let this happen, knowing you’ll see it as just one more betrayal later. Even if I want to.”
“And do you? Want to?”
She hung her head. “Far more than I should, knowing what’s coming.”
“Charges.”
“Yes.”
He nodded and stood. She watched him grab a pad of paper from his briefcase and come back with a pen. He wrote quietly before handing the paper to her.
I, Jackson Sinclair, being of sound mind, waive all potential charges in the matter of my accident. Lori Carlow is absolved of all fault.
The waiver went on, with his signature scrawled on the bottom, but she let it fall from her fingers before she finished. “You can’t do this. It’s not binding.”
He shrugged. “I think it is. I’m an amnesiac, not mentally unfit.”
“But you can’t forgive me.”
His gaze sharpened. “Why not?”
“Because I’m guilty,” she cried.
“I’m the victim. Pressing charges is my decision. And you are the very last person I would ever want to hurt.”
“You won’t feel that way. Not once you remember.”
“That’s the crux, isn’t it?”
Her eyes jerked to his. “What?”
“The accident isn’t the only reason you kept me at arm’s length. You’re afraid of what will happen when I remember everything.”
“I know what will happen,” she said, her voice soft. “Trust me, you won’t want me once you get your memories back.”
“I don’t believe that.”
Pain cut through her as she realized she had one more explanation to give. He thought he wanted her when she knew full well he didn’t.
I’m going to have to talk the love of my life out of pursuing me.
Maybe this was her punishment.
She rolled her shoulders back, preparing herself for the most painful conversation she’d ever have.
“The you before I ran you over,” she started. “He was a very different person.”
“Yeah, that’s been made clear.”
“No, I don’t mean with the business.” She dropped her gaze, unable to say her piece with the understanding in his eyes. “With me,” she whispered. “When I say you don’t want me, I’m not guessing. It’s a fact. We worked together for years, and I’ve seen you bounce from one woman to the next, each more beautiful than the last. Not once did you ever glance in my direction. I was your support, your helper when you needed me. But never anything more. I’m just an employee to you. And once you remember, that’s all I’ll be again.”
“We can’t predict the future.”
“Put yourself in my shoes,” she said. “How would you feel to get something you’ve always wanted only to have someone rip it from you later?”
He cupped her chin, raising her face to his. “I’m something you always wanted?”
Her eyes squeezed shut. “Dammit. I’ll have no pride left once this conversation is done.”
“Pride is overrated. Trust the man who had to ask which direction every office in his own building was,” he said. “Tell me the truth.”
A pitiful laugh escaped her. “The truth that I watched you for years without you ever looking at me?”
A harsh breath escaped him.
Humiliation thrummed through her. It was too much. She was too revealed. She’d gone from one of the best moments in her life to the worst. Unable to stay, she surged to her feet.
Only to tumble back into his arms when he pulled her backward.
She landed with a huff, staring up into his blue gaze.
“I’m looking now.”
Her heart skipped a beat.
Is it enough? she wondered. Can I handle only having him temporarily?
Because as much as he might deny it, she knew what would happen to them once he remembered.
But he knows about the accident and he doesn’t care.
Didn’t that absolve her of the main reason she was holding herself back?
Which meant the only problem now was her.
He will break my heart.
But she was walking into it with her eyes open. Hadn’t she been in pain when she’d left originally? She’d already experienced what it felt like to walk away from him. If she had to do it twice, wasn’t it better to at least have had something to treasure from the experience? Either way she’d bleed to leave him.
Not like this. This will be different.
But she could have days, maybe weeks with him. She could live out every fantasy, trace every inch of his body with her fingertips. She could be Cinderella for a week or two.
And when it ended, she’d survive.
I get a broken heart either way. What do I care if it hurts a little more?
She reached out, tracing her fingers along his jaw in the lightest of touches.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Let’s take a chance. I’m in.”
Any other man would have smiled. Maybe laughed. They certainly would have jumped at what she was offering.
But Jackson did none of those things.
“You think this is temporary,” he said.
She smiled grimly. “I know it is.”
“I don’t.”
She leaned forward to brush her lips over his. “You will.”
He drew back but she wouldn’t let him. Wrapping a hand around his nape, she pulled him closer, parting her lips under his.
She didn’t want to fight an argument neither of them would win. Not when she could be stripping his clothes off. Heartbreak would come later. Right now, she was more interested in pleasure.
Pushing him back onto the couch, she straddled his body. A wild energy thrummed through her. There was nothing standing in her way anymore. Not accidents, not amnesia, not years of silent adoration.
She was in charge and she had no intention of losing this chance now that’d she’d finally reached for it.
Her fingers flew down his dress shirt as she rocked against him. She parted the material and ran her palms against his bare chest.
I want more.
How did a CEO manage the time to keep his body so defined? She had no idea, but she sure wasn’t complaining.
With a sigh, she broke the kiss to explore the new bounty before her.
“Lori,” he said.
She ignored him, running her lips down his throat.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we should talk.”
“Really?” She reared back and pulled down the zipper of her dress. The strapless bodice pooled around her waist, revealing the black lace bra underneath.
“What was I saying?”
“Nothing important,” she assured him, flicking her tongue over one nipple.
“Hell.”
She ran her fingers down his chest, trailing them along the waistband on his pants.
“You’re making this hard,” he said.
“That’s the general idea.” She snapped open the clasp of his pants and drew down the zipper.
“You’re supposed to be the cautious one. I’m the idiot who doesn’t know which way is up.”
“Good thing we aren’t standing.” She slipped a hand inside his pants, feeling the hard cock pulse under her fingers.
/> “Goddammit.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he tossed them off the couch, taking the landing on the floor on his own body. She barely had time to process before she found herself flat on her back staring up at him with her hands pinned over her head.
“You will listen to me,” he said.
“Do I have to? I’m off the clock.”
His lips quirked in a smile. “If we are going to do this, then you owe me thirty seconds.”
With a sigh, she relaxed beneath him. “If you talk us out of this, I might never forgive you.”
“Sweetheart, you will be screaming my name before the sun rises.”
“Then why are we talking?”
He slid a leg between hers, making her gasp as he rocked against her. “Because you need to hear this.” He stopped moving. “I’m not going to change my mind. I want you, Lori. I’m in, too.”
The fight went out of her.
“I believe you believe that’s true,” she said.
He hissed out a breath. “When I get my memories back, if I get them back, I will remember what I’m saying now.”
“You’ll remember,” she agreed. “But you won’t care.”
“Lori—”
“Stop,” she said. “We have a break from reality. Something I never thought was possible. Can’t we just enjoy it?”
“With you waiting for the ax to fall?”
“I know you,” she said simply.
He touched his forehead to hers. “The more I learn about my past, the more I want to be someone else.”
Her heart broke a little more.
“He was a good man,” she said.
Even if you’re a better one.
What did that say about her if she could love one side of Jackson more than the other?
“He wasn’t your man.”
“You aren’t, either. You’re just on loan.”
A growl rumbled from him. “Then I guess I need to make you want to keep me.”
His lips claimed hers in a kiss so raw her heart raced in response. She arched under him, trying to get closer as need burned in her blood. She’d spun countless fantasies about him and now she had a chance to make them all come true. Who knew how long this window of opportunity would last?
His mouth left hers long enough for him to shrug out of his half-open shirt and her mouth went dry.
“Seriously? Couldn’t you be a couch potato and give the other men on the planet a chance?”
“What about you?” he asked, dropping a kiss above the swell of her right breast. “All day I’m supposed to be thinking about ways to save my company, not all the things I wanted to do with my secretary.”
She gave his hair a warning tug. “Executive assistant,” she corrected.
He grinned. “Let me make it up to you.”
Rolling off her, he pulled her to her feet. The dress gaped around her waist, ready to slide to the ground. She grabbed it with one hand, feeling more unsure standing than she had under him on the floor.
He ran his hands down her arms. “Drop it,” he said, his voice soft.
Nerves dampened the lust riding her body. While he looked like a Greek god, she knew very well she didn’t. But to enjoy tonight, to do all the things she wanted to do, she couldn’t afford to hesitate.
Just do it.
Lifting her chin, she released her grip on the chiffon. The cerulean dress fell to the floor with a quiet rustle.
And she stood before Jackson in only her black bra-and-panty set.
He took a step back, his gaze running over every inch of her body. Being the focus of his study was both exhilarating and nerve-racking as she waited for his verdict.
“Hell,” he said.
Her blood froze. Was he going to tell her this was all a mistake? She was a far cry from the models of his past. Maybe he didn’t want a woman with breasts that made even the most modest top salacious, or one whose stomach curved instead of flattened. He wouldn’t be the first man to turn her down in favor of more slender women.
But when his gaze returned to hers, there was nothing but lust in his eyes.
…
“How are you so damn perfect?” he demanded.
Her lips parted on a surprised exhale. “What?”
“Reality is way better than fantasy.” He’d dreamed of seeing her this way but now that it was real, she was far more beautiful than he’d ever imagined.
Utterly perfect for me.
“It’s official. The old me was an absolutely idiot.”
Joy lit her face, making her even more beautiful if it was possible. Without any reservation, she launched herself into his arms.
He caught her eagerly, following her lead when she kissed him for all she was worth.
“You’re not the only one with a few fantasies,” she murmured against his lips.
“Let’s see how many we can act out before dawn.”
You have no idea the things I want to do to you. We need more than a night.
The desires he had would fill a lifetime.
Pushing the thought away, he grabbed her hand.
“Come with me,” he said, pulling her toward the hall and the stairs to the second floor. They ran up them two at a time, giggling like teenagers.
When they reached the landing, instead of heading for her guest room he led her to his master suite.
Pushing through the door, he realized she hadn’t been in here since the first day when she’d helped him with his shower. After that incident, he’d never asked for help bathing again. Instead, he’d had her fasten plastic wrap around his brace each time and sorted out the rest himself. He’d been trying to be sensitive to the barriers she kept throwing up between them but there was no more need for that now.
Not bothering with the lights, he led her over to the bed.
“Do you have any idea how sexy you look in those heels?” he asked.
She glanced down at herself. “I swear these were the only suitable heels I owned.”
“Sky-high stilettos and lingerie. Sweetheart, you’re too good to be true.”
“How about I keep the heels on if you take your pants off?” She reached for the waistband of his pants. Having already undone them, they were precariously clinging to his body as it was. A little pressure and they gaped, allowing her to easily strip them from his body along with his boxers.
“Damn, Sinclair,” she said.
“Glad I don’t disappoint.”
“Are you kidding?” she asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and stripped off his socks. “You could never disappoint me.”
He stopped, one sock dangling from his fingers, as his heart thundered in his chest.
“How are you real?” he asked, his voice hoarse, before reaching for her.
She moved into his arms, letting him tumble her back onto the bed.
“Much better than the floor,” she said as she wiggled backward to give him more room.
“Every now and then I get a good idea,” he replied as he rolled over her.
She sighed against his lips as his mouth came back to hers.
“I know something you can take off instead of those heels,” he murmured against her lips.
“Earrings?” she teased.
“Not quite.”
Laughing, she arched her back to reach the clasp of her bra and tugged the material free from her body.
“Better?” she asked, tossing it over his shoulder to the floor.
He didn’t respond, his gaze fixed on her breasts.
“Jackson?”
“Can’t talk. Focused.”
She laughed, spread out beneath him. Her hair was wild over his pillows as she stared up at him with a mixture of lust and amusement in her gaze.
He couldn’t imagine ever wanting anyone more.
Catching her lips in a burning kiss, he wondered if she could feel how desperately he needed her. Giving in to his desire to touch her, he left her lips and gazed down at the body he wanted to run his lips over. He mo
ved lower to catch a nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the sensitive nub.
“Mm,” she purred, threading her fingers through his hair. He loved having her hands on him in any way he could get.
“God, I want you,” he said, switching his attention to her other breast.
“I know the feeling.” She shifted until he could lie between her legs.
Her skin was so smooth beneath his hands. He traced his lips down her stomach, lapping at her navel.
Pushing her legs apart, he slid even lower.
“Jackson,” she said, her hands fluttered around his shoulders. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Have to?” He shot her a grin. “Sweetheart, if we get to act out fantasies tonight, this sure as hell has been one of mine.”
The uncertain expression on her face broke his heart. Lori was the most incredible woman he’d ever met. She should have no doubt about how sexy she was or how men should want to worship her.
That ends now.
He could prove what the men she’d dated before him certainly hadn’t. That he wanted every inch of her. Any way he could have her.
For as long as I can.
Because as much as he tried to deny her protests, neither of them knew how long that would really be.
…
Adrenaline shot through her as Jackson’s head dipped between her thighs. He traced her folds with a light finger, teasing her as he pressed a hot kiss to the inside of her thigh.
“Raise your leg,” he said, his hands pushing her right thigh up.
She did as he asked, feeling decadent as her foot balanced on the spike of her stiletto.
But she went from decadent to speechless when his tongue flicked against her clit before moving lower.
Throwing her head back, she stared up at the white plastered ceiling as his clever mouth teased her. She nearly leaped from the mattress when he slid one finger into her, working in time with his tongue.
I can’t believe this is happening.
She’d never in her wildest dreams thought they’d end up here and yet, it felt so right opening her body for him. There’d been no hesitation in his eyes at any point tonight when he’d looked at her. No disappointment that she was too curvy for his tastes. Instead, he’d stared at her in wonder, as if she was everything he’d ever wanted.
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