by Nicki Ruth
Cade said nothing and simply watched as Jason removed his boots. Jason rose to his knees and reached for the waist of Cade’s pants.
“Say you forgive me,” Jason whispered, watching the rise and fall of Cade’s chest. He began peeling the pants off Cade’s hips; Cade had to raise himself to allow Jason to maneuver the pants down his legs.
“If I need to spend all of eternity earning your forgiveness, I will.”
Pants forgotten on the floor, Jason stood and slowly crawled his way up over Cade and settled over his hips, straddling him. Cade’s eyes flared, and Jason lips parted, awed at the feel of the heated knot of feral desire he saw reflected in Cade’s eyes.
Tonight, he would make Cade understand.
“I forgive you, baby. I know you didn’t mean me harm.”
Jason grinned and smoothed his palms up Cade’s chest, over firm muscle that constrained the beast within. He eased the hooks apart, releasing his wide chest from the confines of the fabric.
“I missed you so much.” Jason watched as Cade relaxed under him, sensing what Jason was about, giving him the control he wanted, but the golden fire in Cade’s eyes threatened to raze the beast’s dwindling self-control.
“I want to . . . no, need to show you how much.” Jason inched back until he felt Cade’s slick stiffness behind him. “I need you to know how I . . . ugh . . . feel.”
Jason rose and sank onto Cade’s hardened cock with a groan, the fullness of him stretching him entirely. Cade gasped, the muscles of his torso flexing as he instinctively thrust upward causing Jason to grip Cade’s side at the forceful movement that tore an airless sigh from him.
An exquisite mix of pleasure and pain unfurled in Jason, and he began to move, locking eyes with Cade, wanting to savor every moment of pleasure he wrung from him. He wanted Cade to know that this was his offering—himself, raw and exposed; his remorse, his love, his craving for him were all real, all laid bare.
Cade grabbed Jason’s hips with a groan as his head punched back into the bed, veins in his neck cording with strain as Jason increased his pace, swiveling and rocking his hips rhythmically. Soon, Cade’s head thrashed back and forth, and he shouted a curse as Jason spread his legs, sinking lower onto his cock.
“Jason! Oh baby, you feel amazing. So . . . ma . . . zing,” Cade huffed.
Jason gripped Cade’s shoulder for more support as he rode Cade, inciting his unraveling. Cade moved to sit up, but Jason kept him in place, pinching and twisting his nipples before he sucked on them, wanting to maintain his control over their building rhapsodic culmination.
Cade, Cade, Cadeonidas. Jason chanted the name, whether in his mind or out loud he didn’t know, fixed on having him again, feeling him inside his body.
“Bite me. Take from me,” Cade murmured, and Jason’s fangs lengthened in response, his desire heightened.
With a moan, Jason leaned over and plunged his fangs into Cade’s neck. Spicy, aphrodisiac blood flooded his mouth, ravaging Jason’s body with fire and pleasure. Jason groaned at the tingling sensation at the base of his spine signaling his imminent release, and released his fangs, lightheaded. He gripped the base of his cock willing himself to keep a latch over the portal of his climax. But Cade took hold of Jason’s engorged cock, replacing Jason’s hand with his own, and slowly started pumping.
“I’m almost there, babe,” Cade said. “We can come together.” Cade looked at him with molten eyes and Jason’s fangs inched from his gums again.
He was so close, but he needed to wait for Cade. Wait for them to splinter apart together.
Jason leaned over Cade and captured his mouth, tasting his flames that danced just beyond. Cade gave one long pull of his cock, and Jason nearly blacked out as the power of his orgasm exploded like a crashing rocket through him.
Head back, he yelled a cry and erupted all over Cade’s hand and chest. Cade furiously pumped his cock into Jason, then eased him off his hips. Cade shuddered as he milked his climax over the side of the bed.
Sweaty, and mind-numbingly sated, Jason reached for Cade who lay beside him, catching his breath.
Cade looked at him and grinned. “Fuck, Jason. Where’d you learn to move like that. I haven’t come so hard or fast . . . ever.”
Jason murmured in contentment as Cade settled him at his side. He’d wanted to pleasure Cade, let him know that he would do anything and everything to see him happy . . . and satisfied. “It was my honor,” Jason said as he raised to his elbows looking down at Cade. “I want us to be like this, always.”
Cade ran a finger across Jason’s lips and down his cheek, watching him with an intensity that Jason began to get concerned about.
What if this wasn’t enough? What if Cade couldn’t move past his betrayal?
You’re not enough. You don’t deserve him.
Suddenly flustered, Jason squirmed and tried to ease away from Cade, but Cade grabbed him and pulled him closer.
“We still need to talk, babe. It’s not just your body I want to enjoy, its all of you. And there are things we need to straighten out.”
Panic began to pummel Jason, fast moving like a mudslide, thick sludge choking him, inundating him with fears he’d hope to be rid of now Cade lay so close to him.
Jason squeezed his eye shut and braced himself for the words from Cade he dreaded to hear.
Chapter 30
Cade sank into the mattress, waiting for his pulse to regain its normal rhythm. Jason had been fevered. They’d come together so quickly, combusting on their desire for each other that Cade almost forgot his reason for visiting. He needed Jason to give him a glimpse of his past, why he seemed so despairing sometimes, why he’d left Cade in the middle of the night.
Twice.
Cade felt this was at the root of what led to them to becoming so easily fractured.
Over the past couple months, Cade theorized the reason he’d been so quick to believe Jason had betrayed him was because of a lack of trust between them. Jason didn’t trust Cade and would not or could not open up to him. And even though Karina had refused to share with him what was revealed in the cistern, Alexios had filled in what he’d suspected. Jason had been abused and abandoned, lived in fear most of his life and now he was unable to trust, save his sire who’d forged the unbreakable vampire bond with him.
Cade saw the familiar look of panic in Jason’s eyes and held onto him when he tried to back away, as Cade predicted he’d do.
“Jason, baby, can I ask you something?”
Jason opened his eyes, which had been squeezed shut. “If it’s about what I did, I—”
“It’s not about what happened with Paxor,” Cade informed him.
Jason’s brow’s creased in distressed confusion. “Paxor?”
Cade’s eyes grew big. “The mage, Jason.”
Slow understanding unfolded over Jason’s face. “Oh, was that his name?”
Cade swallowed an exasperated sigh. “What I want to ask is why did you leave me that night before the attack. What did you mean when you said you don't belong anywhere?”
Jason drew back.
“Is it about your past? Will you tell me?”
Jason flopped back onto the bed and stared hard at the ceiling before saying, “I don’t want to talk about the past. I just want to talk about you and me and the future.”
“We can’t talk about our future without the past. Jason.” Cade sat up and took hold of Jason’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “There needs to be trust between us. You need to trust me, and I need to trust you. If you can’t share with me those intimate thoughts that cause you to feel sad or afraid, how can I help you? How can we have a future if I’m wondering whether the next time you get a panic attack or dwell on things that pain you, you’ll leave me again?
“Jason, don’t you see? It was easy to believe you betrayed me because just an hour or so before you’d left me! You said you were ready to move on without me, even though you’d said you loved me. And I didn’t know why. What was I to be
lieve then I saw you with Paxor? How am I to believe what you say when you act differently?”
Jason lay tense next to him, still glaring at the ceiling, but his jaw ticked, and Cade hoped he was getting through to him.
“I want us to be together more than anything. I want to claim you, make you mine and give you my flames. I’ve been dreaming about it since that first night we shared by the river. Just let me in . . . even if only a little. I’m here for you. I want you to know you can trust me. That I won’t abandon you.”
Jason blinked, and a tear escaped his eye.
He remained quiet for a few moments, his throat working as if trying to find the words.
“I . . . I’m ashamed. I don’t want you to know that dirty . . . shameful part of my life. I just want to forget it. Keep it buried. I don’t—” His voice hitched, but Cade remained silent, waiting for Jason to let it out. “I’m afraid once you hear, you’ll leave. Once you realize I’m . . . I don’t want to lose you. Again,” he said in a small voice.
Cade’s eyes stung hearing the fear and despondency in Jason’s voice. “You can tell me anything. I’ll still only love you. I burn for you, Jason.”
Jason closed his eyes again before turning to look at Cade. “I was sold away. She didn’t want me anymore. I begged for her not to throw me away but . . . I never saw her again. My mother. I got traded several more times, from one master to the next. Each time wondering why I couldn’t just stay, why they didn’t want me. Despite all the beatings and the misery and thinking I should have worked harder; maybe I was useless. Then I got to the mines of Tisios.”
Cade bit back a growl. Not Tisios. He’d visited once, hoping to find vahanas, but he couldn’t stomach the misery there. They kept the children at the lowermost levels, their little bodies able to get into the smallest tunnels of the mines.
Down there, there were no witnesses.
“It was terrible. Things you couldn’t imagine. They used us in all types of ways. But even when the other children huddled together, I was alone. No one wanted to be near me, except when it was time to . . . ” He looked away.
“I was never accepted. Anyway, I met Krisa who allowed me to join her group. She was the first to ever accept me, even though the others didn’t. One day, we escaped, but soon we were attacked and . . . well, Alexios found me and made me vampire.” Jason let out a breath that sounded like a weighted sigh of relief.
Cade also relaxed. Jason had been able to spit it all out, and his chest rose higher, lighter.
“Now, Marius is missing. I feel like it's happening again, and soon, I’ll be left alone. I think it's just inevitable. Around me, no one stays for long.” He shook his head. “That’s why I just want to be here with you, for as long as our forever lasts. Until you . . . decide to move on. And I guess I ran from you that night because I felt it was coming, that you . . .”
Cade gathered Jason close and kissed his mouth, smoothing his unruly curls. “I’m not going to leave you alone. Trust me when I say that. I love you, and if I need to say that to you every day until eternity, then that’s what I’ll do. Until you believe it, too.”
Jason’s teary eyes looked back at him. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I remember . . . voices tell me I’m nothing, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Sometimes I can’t breathe, and it scares me. It feels like I’m sunken into the ground, and the earth is squeezing and grinding me down, and everything is sticky.”
Cade kissed Jason again. “I understand, and it’s okay to feel scared. You’ve been through a lot. But you have me, your sire, Davina, everyone who loves you; we can deal with this. I’m not sure what you feel will ever go away, but it can lessen over time. We’ll figure it out.”
Cade rose over Jason and kissed him again, deeply this time until he broke the kiss to prevent them from getting carried away like they did earlier.
“Thank you for telling me and helping me understand. It makes sense to me now.”
Jason flushed. “What makes sense? That I’m a basket case?”
Cade chuckled low in his throat. “No. All our interactions I’ve been replaying in my mind for the past couple months. And what Alexios mentioned earlier. Besides, I understand the fear of being alone, being lonely. I’m the last of my kind. I don’t think I’ll ever find another drogulis, and the burden of being the last scares me. What kind of legacy would I leave the behind, and to whom? No one. My line dies with me and will fade from memory.”
Jason’s head jerked up with his mouth opened to a perfectly formed O.
“Oh, Cade. Come!” He leapt out of the bed. “I have to show you. Come on.” He gestured wildly.
Cade groaned, not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed and wanting to continue the progress they’d made on repairing their relationship.
“Can’t it wait? We still—”
“Come on!”
∞∞∞
Jason led them to the door next to his spacious rooms. Cade had wrapped the bedsheet around him, but Jason didn’t bother. He was too happy and excited. Joy bubbled, and he was giddy. Hardly containing his excitement, he practically bounced on his toes.
Revealing his past to Cade had terrified him, but now he felt free—well freer—from the fear of losing the person who’d just promised to love him and remain at his side, despite the burden he carried.
Now he was going to present Cade with the one thing that would help erase some of the bereft feelings Cade had. Jason may always have to bear his burden, but at least Cade didn’t have to bear his.
Jason’s fingers shook as he entered the code to unlock to door. He glanced at Cade, who was watching him with feigned interest. He’d wanted to stay in bed.
The door opened, and Jason stepped inside pulling on Cade’s hand for him to enter. Jason stood to the side and inclined his head to the corner of the room. Cade’s eyes roamed then froze as they landed on what Jason insisted he see. The egg—large and red under the heat lamps that watched over it.
Cade was still, his eyes unblinking.
Jason tugged him closer to the nest he’d crafted for the egg. “I wanted to recreate your nest-bed for it. What do you think?”
Cade slowly sank to his knees, reaching trembling hands to the egg, then gently rested his fingertips on it.
“Do you know what this is?” His voice shook, emotion choking the sound.
Jason nodded. “I do. And now, if everything works in our favor, and we take good care of it, you wouldn’t be the last. You can raise the next generation.”
Cade gasped and clutched his chest, falling forward into Jason’s arms. “Thank you, Jason. Thank you,” he cried.
Tears pricked Jason’s eyes as he held onto Cade, who shuddered in his arms, overcome by the red drogulis egg sitting on the nest-bed Jason created.
They held onto each other, so caught up in kissing and laughing, in each other’s joy, that they missed the moment the egg rocked to and fro.
Chapter 31
Cade woke next to Jason with a ball of nerves bouncing around in his stomach. Today was going to be the day. He’d been on Damurious for two weeks now and found the planet of vampires was not as terrible as he thought it to be. Many species thrived without fear of becoming vampire prey.
He’d reunited with the others and they seemed to be in no hurry to leave. Currently, they all lived in one of Alexios’ vast estates and got along with vampires and non-vampires alike.
But Cade still searched for a new home for them. His return went without fanfare, however. They’d all expected him to show up eventually. Even Tyrus hadn’t genuinely missed his presence—the pup still only spoke of Davina. Not that Cade ever really considered abandoning them, but he needed time to sort out his anger and frustration regarding Jason.
It had been hard to tell them Karina would not join them, as she’d quietly returned to her realm. All that remained of her was a giant oak that appeared one day on the spot he last saw her.
Wushien didn’t take the news well. He’d been at her si
de since before she met Cade—sometimes-lovers and dearest friends. Cade promised him they’d see her again.
The only one who really took issue to his presence was Brandr.
The vampire discovered them in Jason’s apartments the day after their reconciliation—in bed no less—and flew into a thundering rage. Alexios had been the only one to calm him down, since not even Jason could get through to him.
Cade came dangerously close to torching the vampire, especially after he raised a wicked-looking axe against him that made his inner drogulis cringe. So, he stayed clear of Brandr, for Jason’s sake.
Jason had ventured more information about his past, including the woman he remembered as his mother. Cade had his doubts; he believed Jason had somehow been separated from his real parents—like the drogulis egg he’d found.
He rose silently from the bed, mussing Jason’s hair. Jason wouldn’t wake any time soon, especially not after the long night they’d enjoyed. Cade grinned and stretched. It was time to put today’s plan in order.
∞∞∞
“Davina, how much longer?” Jason asked wearily as they waited for the next designer to present their collection of clothing.
Why he needed to accompany Davina to this tedious event was the question he’d been asking himself for the past four hours. Where was Alexios? His father was practically glued to Davina’s side. He should be the one suffering with boredom.
Jason twisted in the seat.
“It won’t be much longer. Why are you so fidgety today?” Davina asked, glancing at him as she discarded yet another outfit.
Jason shrugged and cracked his neck. He couldn’t shake the upset he’d felt ever since he woke. He surmised he was having one of his episodes where he couldn’t stop his dark thoughts, the taunting voices that something was going to happen, that he was about to be alone.
His anxiety ratcheted up thinking about where Alexios was. What if something had happened? Was that why he wasn’t here with Davina?