by Ann, Natalie
No one knew what went wrong or why. He was sick of beating himself up over things and wondering if his judgment was so bad that it might cost him Sophia.
Maybe if she knew, she would understand more and he could be more open. They talked so much about everything. This shouldn’t be a secret between them. Regardless of how embarrassed he was over it and how he handled the whole thing.
Sorry
Close to noon on Thursday, Sophia’s mind was buried in the cash flow statements in front of her. As much as she tried, and as many times as she played with the numbers, she couldn’t seem to get her client a positive cash flow. They needed to meet and go over other options soon if the business was going to continue.
“Sophia?” she heard over the intercom on her phone.
“Yes.”
“There is someone here to see you?”
Great, now who? She’d already gotten unexpected visits from both her parents. If one of her half-siblings she hadn’t seen in years showed up, she would know her parents were really running their mouths. “Who is it?”
“Linda Clark.” Ashley lowered her voice and whispered, “She said she has an appointment with you, but I don’t see her name on your calendar. Did you forget to write it down?”
Unbelievable. Sophia had ignored the email and thought for sure it would end. She guessed wrong. She could turn Linda away. But ignoring her didn’t seem to be working. Maybe it was time the two of them had a little heart-to-heart once and for all before things got worse. “I’ll be up in a minute. And Ashley, once we are in my office, after five minutes interrupt me with some type of emergency.”
“You’ve got it.”
“Linda,” Sophia said walking into the reception area. “What can I do for you?”
Linda put an obviously fake smile on her face. “It’s so good to see you again, Sophia. I was wondering if we could have some privacy.”
“Sure,” Sophia replied, smiling. She extended her hand for Linda to lead the way, then looked back and stared hard at her receptionist, mouthing, “Five minutes.”
Shutting the door behind Linda, Sophia turned and said, “What is this about?” She wasn’t pulling punches, she wasn’t playing nice, and she wasn’t smiling.
Linda dropped the pretense. “I wanted to warn you about Phil.”
“Oh really?” Sophia said, crossing her arms. “What could you possible warn me about?”
“You don’t know him the way I do,” Linda said passionately.
It hit a little too close to home for Sophia, but she brushed it aside. This was a woman scorned in front of her. That Sophia was even giving her five minutes was generous. She wasn’t about to believe a word she said. “I’m sure you’re right. I probably know him better than you do. But go on. Warn away.”
Linda stopped for a moment. Sophia had thrown her off with that statement, she saw. What did Linda think, she was going to be begging for any dirt Linda had on Phil? How stupid was Linda? “He is only using you,” she said.
“Yes. I believe you told me he was only using my services and that he was going back to yours soon. Is that what you came here to say again?” Sophia asked coolly, refusing to show any more emotion at this point. She could adjust to anything around her and she had done it plenty enough, so she could do it again now.
Laughing cruelly, Linda replied, “You have no idea. Phil never told you why we broke up, did he?”
Sophia refused to acknowledge that question. “If you have nothing more to say, then I believe we are finished here.”
“I can tell he didn’t,” Linda continued, smirking triumphantly now. “Phil wants a family. He wants children. I wasn’t ready for them yet. When I found out he decided to try to get me pregnant without my knowledge and force the issue, we fought.”
Try as she might, Sophia felt the color drain from her face. She didn’t want to believe a word of what Linda was saying, but it was hard not to. Not when the first time she and Phil were together the condom leaked. Not when Phil had made comments about imagining her pregnant. And not when just a few days ago he said he was waiting for her to catch up.
“What?” Linda said smugly. “Are you starting to believe me?”
“No,” Sophia said, gathering her wits. Always fast on her feet, she added, “If what you’re saying is so true, then why do you want him back? And why wouldn’t he take you back?”
Linda narrowed her eyes, venom all but leaking out.
***
Phil pulled into Sophia’s parking lot intending to convince her to take a quick lunch with him. After he stepped out of his truck and walked a few feet, his eyes landed on Linda’s car.
Not believing it was hers, he walked over and looked in the driver’s window. There on the dashboard was the scratch that she made one day in a fit of rage while they were fighting over some ridiculous thing she was trying to convince him to buy.
Son of a bitch. Rushing toward the front door, he spotted Sophia’s secretary at the front desk. “Is Sophia in with someone?”
“Yes,” Ashley said. “But she told me to interrupt if they weren’t done in five minutes. Should I call her, Phil?”
“No,” he called over his shoulder, as he made his way down the hall to Sophia’s office.
Opening the door without knocking, he took in Sophia’s white complexion and determined expression as well as Linda’s rage-filled eyes. “What did you tell her?” he said to Linda. “What lies are you spewing now?”
Instantaneously, Linda’s eyes filled with tears. Typical. “I came to talk to Sophia. She was the one who was getting nasty with me.”
“Stop telling lies,” he shouted. “I’m sick and tired of this. I don’t know how many more times I have to tell you. Move on with your life. We’re over. It’s over. It’s been over for more than two years, but you kept hanging on. The lying and the scheming never stop.”
“That’s not true,” she cried out. “You loved me the entire time. Don’t say those things,” Linda demanded, anger replacing her tears.
Phil looked at Sophia helplessly. She wasn’t saying a word, and he was mortified this was happening again. More than anything, Sophia looked livid and he couldn’t blame her. But under it all, she looked hurt, and that was the worst.
Turning back to Linda, Phil said, “This is your last warning. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to give you time to accept things. It isn’t working. You want to play games so bad? You want to tell lies so much? Then maybe we should start telling the truth around here. Maybe everyone should know what really happened.”
Linda snorted. “No one is going to believe you, Phil. Give me a break.”
It was the worst possible thing she could have said to him. Standing in that room was the woman he loved and wanted to marry, along with the woman he wasted over five years with. He couldn’t take another minute of it. “You think so, don’t you? You really believe that. Here’s what I know. I know you want a rich man to marry you so you can live in some fantasy world you’ve had going on in your head for years.”
Her eyes went wide, but he continued on unfazed, not even caring what came out of his mouth anymore. “And I know you will do anything to get that man. Cut your losses with me and maybe you will have a chance of finding someone stupid enough to fall for it. Because if you don’t, no one is going to come near you once I start filing restraining orders against you. It won’t just be me. It will be my entire family. And even my employees. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been around the office lately,” he said, challenging her.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Linda said, losing some of her composure. “You wouldn’t risk the gossip.”
“Just try me. Did you forget who Kaitlin is married to? One phone call, Linda. Just one, and the ball is rolling. Push my hand and let’s see who comes out on top.”
Linda looked at Phil, then turned to Sophia. “You’re welcome to him. If you think you can get him to commit, good luck. No one has been able to yet. And no one probably ever will,” Linda shouted
and slammed the door to Sophia’s office.
Phil ran his hands through his hair. This nightmare couldn’t be happening right now. He turned to Sophia who had remained silent so far. Yet another embarrassing moment she’d witnessed with him and Linda. “I’m sorry,” he said, dropping his hand, defeated.
“Sorry for what?” she said, the color rising up her face. “For having a bat-crazy ex that came here to warn me off? For shouting at her in my office? For making a scene in front of all of my employees who most likely heard every word just now?”
He saw she was shaking, so he walked over to her, reaching out, but she took a step back. “Don’t. Not right now. I have work to do and this isn’t the place. I don’t want to air any more dirty laundry here.”
He watched the tears forming in her eyes, knew he would be shedding some of his own soon if he didn’t get out of here. “When can we talk?”
“Tonight. After work. I won’t push you off, or ignore you. I wouldn’t do that. But there are things we need to address, Phil.”
She left those last few words hanging out there, and he heard the unspoken “or else.” “I’ll be over around six.” He turned and walked out of the door, ignoring Sophia’s staff that was standing around out front watching his exit.
Playing Fair
Phil pulled into Sophia’s driveway at six, ready to lay it all out on the line. To tell her everything that was important, everything he should have said to her before. Everything that he should have said to at least someone in his family, instead of pretending it would go away.
After he left her office he had gone straight home, completely drained. There was no point going back to work since he would have been useless anyway.
Walking into his house, he went straight to his bedroom, then into his bathroom. He needed to take a shower. He was physically ill and hoped it would clear his head.
When he reached for the shampoo, his hand landed on the bottle of Sophia’s. On the shelf next to it were her body wash and a brush. He finished up quickly and stepped out to dry off and his eyes landed on her lotions and makeup lined up on what used to be an empty vanity.
Walking into his closet, he found more of her clothes hanging on the opposite side from his and knew there were additional clothes in the drawers. There were pieces of her everywhere in his room. In his house actually. Just like there were more of his things at her house.
Somewhere in the last few months they had all but moved in with each other. Even though they didn’t spend every night together, they spent more than half. Oftentimes a few days in a row, even during the week.
Linda was wrong. He had committed. He committed a long time ago. He was waiting for Sophia now. But was she waiting for him to say it? Was she waiting for him to say he was ready?
Sitting in his living room earlier, he’d realized he was in the same spot he was when she first walked into his house. He remembered how much it mattered to him that she understood his house and what it meant to him. How he lived. And she hadn’t disappointed him either. She understood him, and she actually liked being at his house. He knew that, because they spent more time on the lake than at her house.
This beautiful woman with high-class taste and sophistication loved spending more time at his log cabin in the woods.
Now he had to figure out if he threw it all away by being afraid to admit what a failure and a fool he had been before her.
Finally, knocking once at her front door, he opened it and walked in. He found her in the kitchen cooking. He took that as a good sign. That she was willing to talk to him today and not put him off or punish him for what happened was huge. She really wasn’t like anyone he had been with before. He knew that all along. He was sure he could convince her of that now.
“Hey,” she said, not smiling, but not looking angry either. “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat, I guess,” he said. “But I really want to talk.”
“I do, too. I think we need to.” She turned the oven off. “I had a lasagna in the freezer. It can stay warm in the oven while we talk.”
“Let’s go in the living room,” he suggested.
She followed him without saying a word. Once he was seated, she spoke. “Can I say something first?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t want to believe what Linda said to me. But it was hard not to. She said something that made me think back, and pieces started to fall into place in my mind. I realize now that she used that to her advantage, but I wondered how she would even know to do that unless she had been watching us or knowing some of our conversations. It’s either that, or it was a lucky guess.”
He didn’t like where this was going. “What did she say to you?”
“She told me that you broke it off with her because you wanted children right away and she wasn’t ready.”
His eyes popped out of his head. Not at all what he expected to hear, and the complete opposite of the truth. “And you believed her?”
“I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t help but have flashbacks to our first night together.”
His face flushed. He would have to tell her the whole truth. “I’ll tell you what happened with us, but I don’t want it to go any further. I’m not proud of my relationship with Linda. I’m mortified over it, but I can’t change things. I want you to hear me out and I hope you’ll believe me.”
Her eyes softened. “I need to know, Phil. Right now it’s only her word, and though I don’t really believe it, I haven’t been told anything else.”
“And that is what she warned you about? That all I wanted was a family and a child? And since you and I have had those discussions it’s hard for you not to believe what she said,” he guessed.
“Pretty close.”
“I’m not going to bore you with tons of details. You know a lot of things already. Things weren’t bad that first year with Linda. We got along fine. But I knew she wasn’t the one. I really don’t have a problem committing, but I do if that person isn’t the right one.”
“Then why did you continue to date her?”
“Like I said, things weren’t bad. After a year together, things started to change though. She suggested we move in together. I didn’t want to. I haven’t lied about not liking people at my house.”
“I know,” she said. “I’ve heard the stories.”
“But you’re there,” he reminded her.
“I am. But go on.”
“I was going to end things with her. The moods and the tantrums, the demands on my time, the accusations, they were all building up. When I told her I wanted some space, she accused me of changing the rules on her. I didn’t know what she meant, but I had some underlying guilt that maybe she was right.”
“How so?”
“I felt I wasn’t giving her a fair chance anymore. I had met you. I had feelings for you. Even though I didn’t think I would ever have a chance with you, I felt guilty that my mind was somewhere else and not focused on her.”
“I can see you beating yourself up over that. But that still doesn’t explain the rest of the years.”
“Little by little things got worse. I tried to break things off with her over the years. The second time, she threatened to harm herself. I believed her. I couldn’t live with the guilt that she would do something like that. I didn’t know if she would or not. She was so unstable at times. So I convinced myself to give her another shot.”
“She played you well.”
“You don’t even know the half of it,” he said bitterly. “More time passed by. Ups and downs, no need to get into them. But I finally had enough. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t a person I liked when I looked in a mirror. It wasn’t me. She wanted someone I couldn’t be, and I refused to change for her. I am who I am. I don’t mind compromising, but I’m not going to be someone I’m not. Not for anyone, even you, Sophia.”
“I wouldn’t want you to be someone you aren’t. Just like I refuse to change for you or anyone else. I like you for who you are, Phil.�
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“I love you for who you are, Sophia. We understand each other, and you understand me like no one has understood me before.”
“You aren’t playing fair right now,” she said, her eyes filling.
“I’m not going to play fair with you. I don’t want to lose you. But first I have to finish telling you everything. Like I said, I’d had enough. I went by her place to end it. It was over in my mind. We’d barely spent any time together in months. I was avoiding her at all costs, and it wasn’t fair to her or me. She wasn’t getting the hint and it was the coward’s way, hoping she would end it.”
“You had to know by now she wasn’t going to.”
“Exactly.”
His mind drifted back to the past and he started to tell her about that day…
“Linda, we need to talk. This isn’t working out for either of us.” Her eyes started to fill with tears, but he pushed through the drama he knew was going to come. He hated it, but had to deal with it. He was done being played. “I’ve never made a secret about not wanting to settle down with you. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to me. Neither of us is happy right now.”
“I’m happy with you. Why do you think I’m not?” she’d said, tears flowing.
He pushed past them. “You aren’t. All we ever do is fight. We never see each other, and we really have nothing in common. It’s past time to end things.”
Her face turned white, she slapped her hands over her eyes. “You can’t leave me,” she wailed. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” he shouted. He was beyond furious. More so with himself. She’d gone on the pill a year ago and convinced him it was fine. Like an idiot he went along with it, never thinking this would happen. “How is that possible? Did you stop taking the pill and not tell me?” he said, his eyes narrowing.