by Rex Stout
Egypt, where he owns a house, talking it over with the Sphinx. It was Zeck and you, between you, that broke up our happy home on Thirty-fifth Street, and you can have three guesses how I feel about it. I may like it fine this way, with my own office and my time my own. I may figure to work close to Zeck and get in the big dough, which would mean I’m poison to you, or I may be loving a chance to stick one between Zeck’s ribs and incidentally get a nice helping from your pile, or I may even be kidding both of you along with the loony idea of trying to earn the ten grand your wife paid Nero Wolfe. Zeck can guess and you can guess. Do I make myself clear?
“I don’t know. Are you just warning me not to trust you? Is that it?
“Well, yes.
“Then save your breath. I’ve never trusted anybody since I started shaving. As for a nice helping from my pile, that depends, How do you earn it?
I shrugged. “Maybe I don’t want it. Guess. I got the impression that I have something you want.
“I think you have. Who hired you and what were you told to do?
“I told you, Zeck.
“Zeck himself?
“I would be risking my neck and you know it. Five grand now, and beyond that we can decide as we go along.
It was a mistake, though not fatal. He was surprised. I should have made it ten.
He said, “I haven’t got that much here.
“Tut. Send downstairs for it.
He hesitated a moment, regarding me, then got up and went to a phone on a side table. It occurred to me that it would be of no advantage for a clerk or assistant manager to see whose presence in Rackham’s suite required the delivery of so much cash, so I asked where the bathroom was and went there. After a sufficient interval I returned, and the delivery had been made.
“I said I don’t trust anybody, Rackham told me, handing me the engravings. “But
I don’t like to be gypped.
It was used bills this time, C.s and five-hundreds, which didn’t seem up to the
Churchill’s standard of elegance. To show Rackham how vulgar it was not to trust people, I stowed it away without counting it.
“What do you want? I asked, sitting. “Words and pictures?
“I can ask questions, can’t I?
“Sure, that’s included. I have not yet seen Zeck himself, but expect to. I was first approached by Max Christy, He-
“That son of a bitch.
“Yeah? Of course you’re prejudiced now. He was merely scouting. He didn’t name
Zeck and he didn’t name you, but offered good pay for an expert tailing job. I was interested enough to make a date to get picked up on the street that night by a man in a car. He gave-
“Not Zeck. He wouldn’t show like that.
“I said I haven’t seen Zeck. He gave me the layout. He said his name was
Roeder-around fifty-
“Roeder? Rackham frowned.
“So he said. He spelled it-R-oe-d-e-r. Around fifty, brown hair slicked back, face wrinkled and folded, sharp dark eyes, brown pointed beard with grey in it.
“I don’t know him.
“He may be in a different department from the one you were in. He did name Zeck.
He said-
“He actually named Zeck?
“Yes.
“To you? That’s remarkable. Why?
“I don’t know, but I can guess. I had previously been tapped by Max Christy, some time ago, and I think they’ve got an idea that I may have it in me to work up to an executive job-now that Nero Wolfe is gone. And they figure I must know that Christy plays with Brownie Costigan, and that Costigan is close to the top, so why not mention Zeck to me to make it glamorous? Anyhow, Roeder did. He said that what they wanted was a tail on you. They wanted it good and tight. They offered extra good pay. I was to use as many men as necessary. I took the job, got the men, and we started a week ago yesterday. Christy comes to my office every day for the reports. You know what’s been in them; you know where you’ve been and what you’ve done.
Rackham was still frowning. That’s all there is to it?
“That’s the job as I took it and as I’ve handled it.
“You weren’t told why?
“In a way I was. I gathered that they think you might be a bad influence on the
District Attorney, and they want to be sure you don’t start associating with him. If you do they would probably make a complaint. I suppose you know what their idea is of making a complaint.
The frown was going. “You say you gathered that?
“I didn’t put it right. I was told that in so many words.
“By Roeder?
“Yes.
The frown was gone. “If this is straight, Goodwin, I’ve made a good buy.
“It’s straight all right, but don’t trust me. I warned you. Those are the facts, but you can have a guess without any additional charge if you want it.
“A guess about what?
“About them and you. This guess is why I’m here. This guess is why I went into that bar so you would see me, and followed you out like a half-wit to give you a chance to flag me.
“Oh. So you staged this.
“Certainly. I wanted to tell you about this guess, and if you were in a mood to buy something first, why not?
He looked aloof. “Let’s have the guess.
“Well-I considered. “It really is a guess, but with a background. Do you want the background first?
“No, the guess.
“Right. That Zeck is getting set to frame you for the murder of your wife.
I think Rackham would have thrown another glass if he had happened to have it in his hand, possibly at me this time. His blood moved fast. The colour came up in his neck and face, and he sort of swelled all over; then his jaw clamped.
“Go on, he mumbled.
“That’s all the guess amounts to. Do you want the background?
He didn’t answer. I went on. “It won’t cost you a cent. Take the way I was approached. If it’s a plain tailing job with no frills, why all the folderol?
Why couldn’t Christy just put it to me? And why pay me double the market of the highest-priced agencies? Item. If Zeck has his friends at White Plains, which is far from incredible, and if the current furore is upsetting their stomachs, there’s nothing they would appreciate more than having their toughest unsolved murder case wrapped up for them. Item. Hiring me is purely defensive, and Zeck and his staff don’t function that way, especially not when the enemy is a former colleague and they’ve got a grudge.
I shook my head. “I can’t see it with that background. But listen to this.
Roeder came up to my office and stayed an hour, and do you know what he spent most of it doing? Asking me questions about the evening of April eighth! What has that got to do with my handling a tailing job? Nothing! Why should they be interested in April eighth at all? I think they brought me this job, at double pay, just to start a conversation with me and soften me up. It has already been hinted that Zeck might like to meet me. I think that to frame you for murder they’ve got to have first-hand dope from someone who was there, and I’m elected.
I think they’re probably sizing me up, to decide whether I’m qualified to be asked to remember something that happened that night which has slipped my mind up to now, at a nice juicy price.
I turned my palms up. “It’s just a guess.
He still had nothing to say. His blood had apparently eased up a little. He was staring at my face, but I doubted if he was seeing it.
“If you care to know why I wanted you to hear it, I went on, “you can have that too. I have my weak spots, and one of them is my professional pride. It got a hard blow when Nero Wolfe scooted instead of staying to fight it out, with your wife’s cheque for ten grand deposited barely in time to get through before she was croaked. If the ten grand is returned to her estate, who gets it? You. And it could be that you killed her. I prefer to leave it where it is and earn it.
Among other things, she w
as killed while I was there, and I helped find the body. That’s a fine goddam mess for a good detective, and I was thinking I was one.
He found his tongue. “I didn’t kill her. I swear to you, Goodwin, I didn’t kill her.
“Oh, skip it. Whether you did or didn’t, not only do I not want to help frame you, I don’t want anyone to frame anybody, not on this one. I’ve got a personal interest in it. I intend to earn that ten grand, and I don’t want Zeck to bitch it up by getting you burned, even if you’re the right one, on a fix. Therefore I wanted you to know about this. As I told you, I haven’t got it spelled out, it’s only a guess with background, and I admit it may be a bum one. What do you think? Am I hearing noises?
Rackham picked up his drink, which hadn’t been touched, took a little sip, about enough for a sparrow, and put it down again. He sat a while, licking his lips.
“I don’t get you, he said wistfully.
“Then forget it. You’re ail paid up. I’ve been known to guess wrong before.
“I don’t mean that, I mean you. Why? What’s your play?
“I told you, professional pride. If that’s too fancy for you, consider how I was getting boxed in, with Zeck on my right and you on my left, I wanted a window open. If you don’t like that either, just cross me off as screwy. You don’t trust me anyhow. I merely thought that if my guess is good, and if I get approached with an offer of a leading part, and maybe even asked to help with the script, and if I decided I would like to consult you about it, it would be nice if we’d already met and got a little acquainted. I flipped a hand. “If you don’t get me, what the hell, I’m ahead six thousand bucks.
I stood up. “One way to settle it, you could phone Zeck and ask him. That would be hard on me, but what can a double-crosser expect? So I’ll trot along. I moved towards the door and was navigating a course through the scattered fragments of glass in the path when he decided to speak.
“Wait a minute, he said, still wistful. “You mentioned when you get approached.
“If I get approached.
“You will. That’s the way they work. Whatever they offer, I’ll top it. Come straight to me and I’ll top it. I want to see you anyhow, every day-wait a minute. Come back and sit down. We can make a deal right now, for you to-
“No, I said, kind but firm. “You’re so damn’ scared it would be a temptation to bargain you out of your last pair of pants. Wait till you cool off a little and get some spunk back. Ring me any time. You understand, of course, we’re still tailing you.
I left him.
Several times, walking downtown, I had to rein myself in. I would slow down to a normal gait, and in another block or so there I would be again, pounding along as fast as I could swing it, though all I had ahead was an open evening. I grinned at myself indulgently. I was excited, that was all. The game was on, I had pitched the first ball, and it had cut the inside corner above his knees.
Not only that, it was a game with no rules. It was hard to believe that Rackham could possibly go to Zeck or any of his men with it, but if he did I was on a spot hot enough to fry an egg, and Wolfe was as good as gone. That was why I had tried to talk Wolfe out of it. But now that I had started it rolling and there was no more argument, I was merely so excited that I couldn’t walk slow if you paid me.
I had had it in mind to drop in at Rusterman’s Restaurant for dinner and say hallo to Marko that evening, but now I didn’t feel like sitting through all the motions, so I kept going to Eleventh Avenue, to Mart’s Diner, and perched on a stool while I cleaned up a plate of beef stew, three ripe tomatoes sliced by me, and two pieces of blueberry pie. Even with a full stomach I was still excited.
It must have shown, I suppose in my eyes, for Mart asked me what the glow was about, and though I had never had any tendency to discuss my business with him,
I had to resist an impulse to remark casually that Wolfe and I had finally mixed it up with the most dangerous baby on two legs, one so tough that even Inspector
Cramer had said he was out of reach.
I went home and sat in the office all evening, holding magazines open as if I were reading them. All I really did was listen for the phone or doorbell. When the phone rang at ten o’clock and it was only Fred Durkin wanting to know where
Saul and the subject were, I was so rude that I hurt his feelings and had to apologise. I told him to cover the Churchill as usual, which was one of the factors that made it a burlesque, since that would have required four men at least. What I wanted to do so bad I could taste it was call the number Wolfe had given me, but that had been for emergency only. I looked emergency up in the dictionary, and got ‘an unforeseen combination of circumstances which calls for immediate action. Since this was just the opposite, a foreseen combination of circumstances which called for getting a good night’s sleep, I didn’t dial the number. I did get the good night’s sleep.
Saturday morning at 1019 I had to pitch another ball, but not to the same batter. The typing of Friday’s reports required only the customary summarising of facts as far as Saul and Fred and Orrie were concerned, but my own share took time and thought. I had to account for the full time I had spent in Rackham’s suite, since there was a double risk in it: the chance that I was being checked and had been seen entering and leaving, and the chance that Rackham had himself split a seam. So it was quite a literary effort and I spent three hours on it.
That afternoon, when Max Christy called to get the report as usual, and sat to look it over, I had papers on my desk which kept me so busy that I wasn’t even aware if he sent me a glance when he got to the middle of the second page, where my personal contribution began. I looked up only when he finally spoke.
“So you had a talk with him, huh?
I nodded. “Have you read it?
“Yes. Christy was scowling at me.
“He seemed so anxious that I thought it would be a shame not to oblige him. It’s my tender heart.
“You took his money.
“Certainly. He was wild to spend it.
“You told him you’re working for Mrs Frey. What if he takes a notion to ask her?
“He won’t. If he does, who will know who to believe or what? I warned him about me. By the way, have I ever warned you?
“Why did you play him?
“It’s all there in the report. He knew he had a tail, how could he help it, already on guard, after eight days of it? I thought I might as well chat with him and see what was on his mind. He could have said something interesting, and maybe he did, I don’t know, because I don’t know what you and your friends would call interesting. Anyway, there it is. As for his money, he practically stuffed it in my ear, and if I had refused to take it he would have lost all respect for me.
Christy put the report in his pocket, got up, rested his fingertips on the desk, and leaned over at me. “Goodwin, he asked, “do you know who you’re dealing with?
“Oh, for God’s sake, I said impatiently. “Have I impressed you as the sort of boob who would jump off a building just to hear his spine crack? Yes, brother, I know who I’m dealing with, and I expect to live to ninety at least.
He straightened up. “Your chief trouble, he said, not offensively, “is that you think you’ve got a sense of humour. It confuses people, and you ought to get over it. Things strike you as funny. You thought it would be funny to have a talk with Rackham, and it may be all right this time, but some day something that you think is funny will blow your goddam head right off your shoulders.
Only after he had gone did it occur to me that that wouldn’t prove it wasn’t funny.
I had a date that Saturday evening with Lily Rowan, but decided to call it off.
Evidently I wasn’t tactful enough about it, for she took on. I calmed her down by promising to drown myself as soon as the present crisis was past, went home and got my dinner out of the refrigerator, and settled down in the office for another evening of not reading magazines. A little after nine the minutes were beginning to get too damn’ lo
ng entirely when the phone rang. It was Lily.
“All right, she said briskly, “come on up here.
“I told you-
“I know, but now I’m telling you. I’m going to have company around eleven, and as I understand it you’re supposed to get here first. Get started.
“Phooey. I’m flattered that you bothered to try it, but-
“I wouldn’t have dreamed of trying it. The company just phoned, and I’m following instructions. My God, are you conceited!
Til be there in twenty minutes.
It took twenty-two, to her door. She was vindictive enough to insist that there were three television programmes she wouldn’t miss for anything, which was just as well, considering my disposition. I suppose I might have adjusted to it in time, say ten years, but I was so used to having Wolfe right at hand any minute of the day or night when difficulties were being met that this business of having to sit it out until word came, and then rushing up to a friend’s penthouse and waiting another hour and a half, was too much of a strain.
He finally arrived. I must admit that when the bell rang, Lily having promised to behave like a lady, did so. She insisted on opening the door for him, but having got him into the living-room, she excused herself and left us.
He sat. I stood and looked at him. Eleven days had passed since our reunion, and
I hadn’t properly remembered how grotesque he was. Except for the eyes, he was no one I had ever seen or cared to see.
“What’s the matter? I asked peevishly. “You look as if you hadn’t slept for a week.
“I’m a little tired, that’s all, he growled. “I have too much to watch, and I’m starving to death. So far as I know everything at my end is satisfactory. What about Miss Rowan?
“She’s all right. As you may remember, every week or so I used to send her a couple of orchids of a kind that couldn’t be bought. I have told her that the custom may be resumed some day provided we get this difficulty ironed out, and that it depends on her. Women like to have things depend on them.