With one long movement, she sank back and pushed herself onto him, letting the tightness of her asshole close around Mike’s cock, taking as much as she could. At last, she allowed herself a long exhalation, a sigh that made her whole body melt. He was in her firmly, unbelievably big, his prick bearing down on her with a breathtaking force.
‘Yes,’ she hissed, drawing herself forwards and taking him again.
Mike made a noise in the back of his throat – a strangled grunt that Kara recognised as his last attempt to control himself. She impaled herself again, taking pleasure in the strangeness of the sensation and the sound of Mike struggling to hold his orgasm back. It was thick, overwhelming pleasure to have him plugged into her reluctant arsehole and Kara opened her mouth wide as she inched back and forth on his prick.
Every movement was so intense she knew he couldn’t last long. His orgasm was hovering right beside them. When he came it sounded almost as though he was in pain, his body shaking as though he was sobbing, his cock quivering inside her. He clutched at her hips and dug in his fingernails, bent over her back and laid his cheek on her spine. Kara heard him whispering curses into her skin, swearing bitterly as his orgasm finally robbed him of every last drop of power. She smiled.
‘Make me come,’ she said, grabbing his hand and placing it between her legs. Though he was shrinking inside her and his legs shook with post-orgasm weakness, Mike rallied. He frigged her with skilful finesse, his fingertips drumming against her clit and rubbing her towards climax.
‘Good,’ Kara said, her voice thick with pleasure. She placed her hand over his. ‘Keep going.’
It was then, as she pressed his hand over her pussy and ground against it, that Kara felt the power start to fall away from Mike.
Crouched over her and sweating from his own exertions, his body sliding and sticking to her, she realised the balance had tipped. The orgasm was glowing at her centre, spreading across her body and overtaking her mind. But just before it hit, she held Mike’s busy fingers still and opened her mouth to laugh, knowing that she’d finally found a way to break free.
At the studio the next day, Mike was subdued and fractious. Kara ignored the session guys he’d brought in – they may as well have programmed a drum machine and used a tape loop for all the attention she paid them.
‘Diva,’ she heard the guitarist mutter when they stopped for a coffee break and she turned to blast him with a hundred-watt smile.
‘Fuck you,’ she said sweetly, and slipped her headphones back on. She sang with her eyes closed, giving the songs a new edge – a flash of steel under the velvet slide of her voice. After she’d recorded the vocals for ‘Turn on Me’ in one take, flawlessly, she looked up at the control booth and nodded.
Mike sat with his hands steepled in front of him, his eyes dark and troubled. He broke eye contact when Kara looked at him and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. She blew him a kiss. Maybe she could play the game and win, she thought. If she was strong enough to make her own rules.
17
LINA FLEW IN and out of the studio all afternoon, leaving papers with Mike and throwing critical, curious looks at Kara. It didn’t matter. While Kara was singing and feeling this strange, bitter and bright new hardness to her heart, she was unshakeable. Nothing could faze her – not Lina’s cautionary glares or the strawberry-red love bite on Judy’s neck.
She’d lost Tam already, and it really didn’t make much difference who he was fucking. So long as Lina didn’t make good on her threat and get her claws into him. If he was with Judy, he was safe, Kara thought. What really mattered, right then, was the music. So she clamped her headphones tight to her head and sang as hard as she could.
The only thing that threw her off her stride came late in the session. The blond lank-haired keyboardist with the faded, check shirt and the ‘diva’ opinion was unable to pick up Jon’s tightly scored melodies, playing them over and over but losing the tune every time.
‘Shit,’ he said as he fumbled the notes yet again.
‘I thought you said you were hiring professionals?’ Kara directed her question at Mike.
‘Oh, give me a break,’ the guy said, throwing his hands in the air and turning to Kara. ‘I didn’t write this shit and I haven’t seen it before this morning.’
‘That’s not my problem.’
Mike’s voice cut in on the headphones. ‘Can we skip the squabble, please? Let’s take that again, from the top.’
‘Are you sure?’ Kara asked, resting her hand on her hip. ‘You don’t want to come in here and take over? I know how you love to be in control, Mike. Why not sack this guy too and come and show us what you’ve got?’
He didn’t answer.
‘I’m sorry,’ Kara continued, her voice growing louder as she felt more reckless. ‘I forgot you don’t play any more. Can’t cut it. Don’t have the balls –’ She broke off as Mike rose from his seat and left the control room, slamming the door behind him. Around her, the musicians coughed and shuffled their feet.
For the first time that day, Kara felt anxiety swarm over her, prickling at her scalp and making her heart race. Had she pushed it too far? Mike wasn’t the kind of person to put up with musicians insulting him in public. She wanted to stop him from falling in love with her, sure, but she didn’t want him to cancel everything, junk the deal and trash her career. He might be out there right now shredding her contract. She tapped her foot nervously, felt the swimming feeling in her stomach.
When he opened the door and came into the live room, it was all she could do not to start stammering an apology. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and he walked fast, cutting across the room like the slice of a knife.
‘Get out,’ he said mildly to the blond keyboardist. ‘I’ll pay you the full day’s wages. But you can leave now.’
By the time the guy had sworn, scowled, shaken his head and left, Mike had slid onto the stool and rested his hands on the keyboard. He tipped his chin at Kara. ‘Let’s go,’ he said.
Under his hands, the melody started to spill from the piano. Mike barely glanced at the score and instead kept his eyes fixed on Kara. It was as though he’d already learned the song by heart.
She had to admit he played expertly. All Jon’s ragged, looping melodies turned into something different in Mike’s hands; they became smoother, subtler … sexier.
Kara found herself singing in a husky drawl, as though Mike was dragging new elements out of her voice with his playing. Eyes closed, she swayed in time with the background rhythm, letting Mike’s counterpoint twist her deeper into the songs.
When he broke off halfway through and left her hanging in the sudden silence, Kara was bewildered. She looked round to see Mike sitting with his arms folded.
‘I don’t think it’s the piano that’s the problem,’ he said. ‘It’s you.’
‘Me?’
‘You’re singing flat. And a little too … abrasive.’
Kara swallowed. ‘No way,’ she said. ‘This is my voice, this is how I sing.’
‘Hm.’ Mike looked her over. ‘Maybe your posture. Stand straight.’
Kara shook her head. She felt awkward all of a sudden, like she didn’t know where to put her arms. The hired guitarist and drummer looked her up and down as though the criticism had stuck to her skin. When Mike stood and approached, she felt herself shrink away.
He placed his hand on her stomach, slid it down under the waistband of her skirt and rested it on the dip between her belly and her pubis. Aware that there was a room full of strangers watching, Kara tried to pull away, but Mike had his other hand on the small of her back and he held her in place.
‘Take it easy,’ he said softly, working his fingers down further until they were brushing the fringe of her pubic hair. ‘Trust me. Now. Breathe into my hand.’
Kara glared at him. If she made a big deal she’d look ridiculous. And he’d had his hand down her skirt plenty of times before. Why should she get shy now? Keeping her eyes on his, she breathed
deeply and felt his hand tighten against the swell of her body.
‘Good. Keep going.’ His hand slid upwards and rested on her chest, in between her breasts. His touch made her heart skitter about behind her ribs and Kara was keenly aware that everybody in the room was watching closely. She tried to slow her inhalations, but the more she struggled, the faster she breathed.
‘Your bra,’ Mike said. ‘Take it off.’
You could have heard a pin drop. The drummer’s eyes had widened like saucers and a lewd grin spread across the guitarist’s face.
Kara tried to laugh.
‘It’s constricting you,’ Mike said, reaching up to pluck at her bra strap. ‘Take it off.’ He nodded at the door, indicating the bathroom across the hall. ‘Give your voice a chance to breathe.’
He was trying to make a point, Kara thought. Trying to embarrass her. She glared at him through her fringe, silently willing him to back down, but Mike merely raised an eyebrow.
‘Don’t get precious, Kara. Your body is an instrument. If you want to succeed, you’ll have to treat it as such.’ He was talking loud enough that everyone could hear, but now he leaned in close and murmured in Kara’s ear. ‘I thought you liked showing off. Now go to the bathroom like I’ve told you, and when you come back I want to see your titties jiggling about nice and loose under that top, OK?’ He gave Kara a light pat on the bottom and his professional smile.
It was like waving a red rag at a bull. Kara’s uncertainty dissolved, pushed aside by a reckless fury she could taste in her mouth.
Without a word, she grabbed her shirt and wrenched it up over her head. She dropped it on the floor and checked Mike’s reaction. To her delight, his face had darkened with a mix of surprise and anger.
Behind them the musicians sputtered with laughter. But when Kara reached behind her back to unhook her bra, they fell utterly silent. She focused on the drummer as she loosened the fastening, watched his tongue flicker over his lips and his eyes dart back and forth.
‘You can watch,’ she said calmly. ‘I’m not shy.’
She pulled her flimsy cotton bra off and draped it over a mike stand. Her brazenness and the sudden cold made her shiver, and she felt her breasts tingle, her nipples tightening as she bent down to pick up her shirt. As she slipped the shirt back on the tips of her nipples grazed against the light fabric, sticking out in proud points judging from where the musicians’ eyes were fixed.
‘So?’ she said, putting her hands on her hips. ‘You want to go again?’
‘No,’ Mike said, his gaze murky and furious. ‘Not yet. Undo your skirt.’ He jerked his chin at her.
‘You think it’d help if I sang naked?’ Kara demanded, but she popped the button of her skirt and pulled the zip halfway down. ‘That enough?’
‘What do you think, boys?’ Mike asked, throwing the question over his shoulder at the musicians behind him. ‘Will that help?’
The guitarist crossed his arms, flexing his curvy biceps as he considered Kara’s déshabillé. ‘Oh yeah,’ he said. ‘Looks good. But she can go ahead and take more off if it’s going to help. You know, with the singing.’
‘Fuck you,’ Kara said sweetly. ‘Mike, let’s pick up the song again.’
Mike nodded. ‘OK. But while you’re singing –’ he came in close and smacked her ass, grabbed a handful of flesh ‘– tense up here. Nice and tight.’
Kara’s muscles contracted automatically. Memories of Mike as her teacher and Mike as her lover glanced off one another, the feel of him twisting his finger inside her and opening her up gave her another shiver. Mike kept massaging her bottom, watching how it made her chest rise and fall.
He leaned in to whisper to her so close his breath tickled her ear. ‘That’s good. Just think of me,’ he said, ‘fucking you there. Can you do that?’
Kara nodded.
Mike pulled back and talked loudly. ‘Lovely. Loose in the chest, tight in the ass. If you can’t keep it up, we’ll do some more exercises and I’ll get the boys to join in this time.’
Kara kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. Don’t let him see you’re embarrassed, she told herself, but the shame was clear on her face, and she was wet between her legs. Would Mike strip her and throw her to the wolves, let those gormless hired guys perv over her? Would he enjoy that?
Of course he would. Just another way to exert his control. He liked her in thrall to him, unsettled and horny. The trouble was, Kara thought as she gripped the mike and leaned into it, that she liked it too. He made her feel like a slutty fool, and she couldn’t get enough.
The strange thing was that Mike’s instructions worked. Whether it was because of his impromptu singing lesson or the fact that she was half aroused and agitated, Kara sang like she was on fire. They played without a break for the next two hours, laying down one track after the other. Everything rolled with unstoppable force until Lina came in.
Shut away in the wood-lined box of the studio, Kara had forgotten the rest of the world existed. There was nothing but sweaty tension, Mike and the other musicians, and the songs bouncing off the walls with energy so fierce it vibrated in her hair.
When Lina appeared, it was as though she had broken into their secret den without a password. For some reason, a rush of guilt swarmed over Kara, as though she’d been caught in the middle of doing something she shouldn’t.
‘Sounds good,’ Lina said, leaning back against the wall and settling in to watch. ‘Don’t let me stop you, please.’
Kara wiped her face on the back of her sleeve. Tension flickered in the room, the presence of Lina disrupting the hothouse atmosphere as if a cold draught had blown in the door.
‘What is that?’ Lina was frowning at the bra hanging inelegantly draped over the mike stand.
Kara shrugged. ‘Mike’s idea,’ she said, raising her eyebrows.
Lina nodded, very slowly. ‘So you’re all letting your hair down,’ she said. ‘And how’s it playing out?’
‘Very smooth,’ said Mike. ‘We’ve got something special happening.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. Hope the pressure’s not getting to you, Kara. I know it’s not easy keeping up with Mike’s demands.’
‘Everything’s lush. All going according to plan,’ Kara said.
‘Kara’s been very good,’ Mike added. ‘She’s got spirit.’
‘I can see that,’ Lina said, her eyes dropping to Kara’s clothes, the obvious braless breasts under her shirt and the pulled-open skirt.
Kara straightened her spine, stuck her chin out and let Lina get a good look.
‘Well, you’re not shy,’ Lina said. ‘Can’t wait to give everyone a show, can you?’
‘My body is an instrument,’ Kara said, not even bothering to keep the mocking tone out of her voice. ‘I know how to play it.’
She was pinned between Mike and Lina, she realised, trapped by secrets and unspoken longing. The atmosphere was so sticky she could hardly breathe, desire and hate and jealousy ran circles round the room. And nobody was willing to let go.
‘Nearly finished, aren’t you?’ Lina said. ‘I can tell you’ve been working hard. But you want to be careful you don’t burn yourself out. You’ll need to be on fighting form soon.’
‘For the gig at Polar?’ Kara said. ‘Can’t wait.’
‘Everybody will be there,’ Lina said, slipping her hands into her pockets. ‘Everybody. I’ll make sure of it.’
There was a warning in her words. Kara heard it quite clearly, and had the sudden image of Lina priming a gun.
‘I got hold of your old band mates.’ Lina shrugged. ‘Not sure if they’ll make it. Tam seemed a bit … preoccupied to be honest.’
There it was. The sound of the safety catch slipping off.
‘Maybe he’s upset you gave him the elbow. But he’s hot property, that boy.’ Lina smiled. ‘Even if you did drop him, someone else’ll pick him up –’ she clicked her fingers ‘– just like that. I told him, but he still looked a bit pissed off to be honest.’
&
nbsp; ‘Looked? You saw him?’ Kara answered sharply, before she could stop herself.
Lina gave her a wide smile. ‘He came by earlier. Must have been looking for Judy. Don’t worry – I told him you guys were busy.’ Lina studied the ceiling as though lost in thought. She shook her head and laughed, letting her hair shake free. ‘He didn’t seem to mind all that much. Damn. I’m keeping you guys back. Go on.’ She gestured to the microphones. ‘I can’t wait to hear this special thing you’ve got going on.’
Kara hugged herself. The muscles in her neck were coiled so tight they cracked when she lifted her shoulders and her ears were ringing. She looked at the mike in front of her and the blank faces of her new backing musicians. There was a sharp ashy taste in her mouth and, as her eyes fell on Mike sitting coolly at the keyboard, she felt something snap.
‘I have to go,’ she said bluntly, reaching for the coat she’d hung on a chair and then shoving her arms into the sleeves, already walking. She was halfway to the door when Mike called after her.
‘Kara.’ His voice was hard and full of warning, and her spine went rigid at the sound.
‘I’ll be here tomorrow,’ she said, ‘don’t worry.’ She threw the last words over her shoulder and slammed the door behind her.
Outside the night was icy black, the pavements slippery with early-spring rain that was already beginning to freeze. Kara walked without thinking, inhaling the cold air in short quick breaths. She pushed past a knot of drunk students spilling across her path and hurried along the tunnel of trees that led to the messy heart of the West End. The roots of the old trees had burst through the tarmac and churned up the pavement, and she stumbled just as a car with dimmed headlights crawled past.
Picking up her pace, she felt anxiety sparking in her fingertips as the car pulled alongside. The window scrolled down and the engine purred softly.
‘Fuck off,’ Kara said curtly, flicking her middle finger at the invisible driver.
The New Rakes Page 16