Looking over at her partner, Jamie was once again struck by the dark woman’s simple beauty. Right before they took off, Ryan removed her helmet and clipped it to her handlebars, pulling out a traditional, cotton racing hat, this one a bright yellow. The hat bore a black Campagnolo logo, which surprised Jamie, since Ryan hated to use her body to provide free advertising. But her musing stopped when Ryan settled the cap on her head, backwards, of course. Does she just look fantastic in every hat in the world, or does she only wear the ones that show off her gorgeous face? This question had flitted through her mind on many occasions, and she considered it for a moment. As well as she knew her lover, she didn’t have a feel for how conscious Ryan was of her looks. Even after all of the time they had spent together, she had never seen Ryan "try" to look attractive, but she always managed to.
Today’s millinery choice was a perfect example. Jamie had seen dozens of people sporting the tiny style of cap that Ryan now wore, but most looked totally silly, at best. However, something about Ryan’s strong face and square jaw allowed the hat to accentuate her bone structure, and Jamie was very glad that she had chosen to wear it. Although I can’t for the life of me see what the point is of wearing a tiny hat like that backwards, she laughed to herself. Nonetheless, Ryan looked fantastic, and Jamie decided that she didn’t much care whether or not Ryan secretly fussed over her appearance. The effect was fabulous, no matter the motivation.
They didn’t have the opportunity to speak much since they were about 20 feet away from each other. Even if they had been riding tandem, Jamie doubted they would have been able to hear each other, since the crowd was so incredibly vocal. Time after time she had to swallow a lump in her throat from the outpouring of emotion from the massive crowd. It seemed as though every single person on the route was familiar with the AIDS Ride, given the thunderously enthusiastic reception they received.
After a few blocks, Jamie decided that the only way she would be able to focus well enough to finish the route was if she avoided looking at her partner. Every time she cast a glance at the childlike, exuberant face she nearly wept, and she was afraid of hitting a pothole or another rider if she couldn’t focus properly. She couldn’t however, avoid one last look at the terribly appealing woman.
Ryan had many "looks", and Jamie loved every one of them. She had the ability to express more with a twitch of an eyebrow or a hint of a grin, than most people could convey with a prepared speech. Jamie considered that, of all of Ryan’s looks, the one she wore at the moment was perhaps the most fetching of all.
A smile wide enough to expose her molars graced her lovely face, and her eyes flashed with glee. She was sitting tall in her saddle, holding on with only her right hand, while her left waved enthusiastically at the crowd. Her bright blue eyes zeroed in on one member of the crowd after another, making each lucky recipient feel like her smile was for them alone. Jamie’s smile grew wider as she observed that Ryan seemed to reserve her most enthusiastic waves for the small children that she effortlessly picked out of the massive crowd. She held their gaze until the child matched the intensity of her own smile, often gifting them with a wink or a blown kiss.
I have got to stop looking at her! Jamie shouted to herself as she narrowly avoided striking a parade volunteer. Her internal warnings went unheeded, however, and after another near miss she crossed the street as soon as there was an opportunity, and slid into the empty space in front of her partner. She tossed a wave over her shoulder at what she knew was a puzzled look, and got down to the business of focusing on the crowd, rather than the devastatingly charming woman who rode right behind her.
The parade route was long, covering quite a bit of Market Street, and Jamie expected it would take quite a while to complete. To her surprise, they reached the end rather quickly. Parade volunteers indicated a place for the riders to park their bikes, but they had other plans and quickly turned away from the pack. It took a few blocks to be far enough removed to hear each other speak, but soon Jamie was chattering away non-stop.
Ryan beamed over at her, terribly pleased that her partner had enjoyed her first parade so much. Nearing Beale again, they securely locked their bikes to a couple of street signs, threading their helmets through the Kryptonite locks at the same time. Ryan pulled two pairs of khaki shorts from her backpack and they each slipped a pair over their bike pants. Baseball caps were added next; Jamie’s worn in the traditional manner, Ryan’s not. After tinkering with their look in the window of an office building, they headed back to the holding area for the next groups.
It didn’t take long to find the one they were looking for, but Ryan nearly fainted from surprise when she spotted a most unexpected participant. "DA!" she cried from a good 50 feet away. Bobbing and weaving through the crowd, she threw her arms around her father, nearly crushing the sturdily built man with her embrace. "I never expected you to come!"
Jamie came running up a moment later, pleased beyond measure to find Martin locked in his daughter’s robust embrace. "Maeve," she chided, "you didn’t let the cat out of the bag when we called you this morning!"
Ryan’s aunt laughed gently, rubbing her niece’s back. "I didn’t know he wanted to come until after I spoke with you, Jamie, or I might have. I’m no good at all at keeping a secret."
Ryan sniffed away her tears and reluctantly released her father, stepping back just enough to grasp her aunt in a gentler, but no less fervid hug. Martin kept one hand on her back while he stretched to offer his other arm to Jamie. "When Siobhán said you were coming to your first parade, I decided it was about time I made an appearance myself. I called my helpful sister-in-law and made arrangements to join her and here we are."
"This means so much to me, Da," Ryan murmured as she grabbed her father once more.
"I would have been here before, but you were always riding that infernal motorbike," he reminded her. "This was the first time we had the opportunity to join you."
"I can’t thank you both enough for being here with us," Jamie said, grasping Maeve for a hug. "It really makes me feel like part of the family."
"You are part of the family, Jamie," the older woman assured her.
Jamie was struggling with her own emotions when she heard Ryan moan, "Oh no! Not you, too!"
Brendan came loping up to the small gathering, flashing the patented O’Flaherty grin. "We had a hell of time finding a place to park," he began, but did a double take when he saw he was alone. "I can’t believe I lost him again!" he groaned, standing on his tiptoes to look around.
"Conor’s here too?" Ryan asked, amazed that her brothers would make the effort to join them.
"Of course," Brendan said, as though this was their normal habit. "But he’s carrying a distraction with him that keeps delaying him."
Seconds later, a smiling Conor popped from the crowd, carrying a giggling Caitlin on his shoulders. "Just my luck," he groused. "Every woman at this darned thing runs over to see the baby—and every one of them is a lesbian! I can’t catch a break!"
Ryan nearly knocked the breath out of him with the hug she enveloped him in. "You are the best brothers in the world," she whispered fiercely.
"We would have come before, but you were…"
"Always on the motorcycle," she finished for him.
"Plus, we had to bring Caitlin to her first parade." Ryan reached up and snatched the giggling baby, holding her in front of her body to carefully observe her. The youngest member of the clan wore a pink T-shirt emblazoned "Baby Woman," recently purchased for her by her beaming cousin.
"Got your new shirt on, don‘cha baby?" Ryan cooed to the adorable tot.
Making like she understood the thread of the conversation, Caitlin giggled and slapped at Ryan’s face, making both participants laugh together.
Maeve went to talk with one of the leaders of the group and came back with Tshirts for the boys. "I think you two might want to wear these." She chuckled as she held them up for inspection. One read, "My sister’s gay and that’s okay," while t
he other proclaimed, "Straight, but not narrow."
Conor immediately grabbed the latter, insisting, "I’ve been cruised more times than I can count, just walking over here. I want to make things perfectly clear!"
Ryan laughed at his antics, knowing that her brother’s popularity would not be dimmed one bit by his proclamation that he was straight. In fact, some of her closest male friends were attracted exclusively to straight men. You can run, but you can’t hide, she silently smirked.
A few minutes after noon, they were given the signal to take off, marching together as a family under the banner "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays."
The ovation they had received on their bikes paled in comparison to the reception they now received. PFLAG was one of the most beloved groups in the entire community, and the enthusiasm of the crowd certainly supported that claim. Maeve had been a member since the year Michael disclosed that he was gay, and she remained very active in the local chapter even now, 11 years after his death. She often told Ryan that the group was the major factor in getting her through the pain of his illness and death, since so many other mothers in the group were struggling with the same issue. Martin had never joined, mainly since he didn’t struggle much with the news of his daughter’s lesbianism. But seeing the impact the group had on the assembled crowd, he began to rethink his decision. Leaning over to his sister-in-law he commented, "I think I just might have to join you at your next meeting, Mrs. Driscoll."
Startled by this declaration, she beamed up at him and said, "It would be my pleasure, Mr. O’Flaherty."
The parade route seemed significantly longer on foot than it had on the bikes, and by the time they reached the Civic Center they were all exhausted, except for the youngest member of the crowd. Caitlin had ridden on every pair of shoulders except for Maeve’s, so she was as fresh as a daisy.
The boys both had things to do, so they were anxious to get going. They agreed to take the bikes home in the truck so that Ryan and Jamie could just hop on Muni for the ride home.
Logistics settled, the five remaining participants sat down in the shade of the trees that lined the long promenade in front of City Hall. The main stage was in full gear, with an energetic salsa band beating out a fierce rhythm. Ryan took off to buy Italian ices for everyone, and when she returned she chuckled at the extemporaneous entertainment that Caitlin was providing.
The tiny tot was dancing to the music, swaying her little hips as well as could be expected for a ten-month-old. Jamie was holding one chubby hand to provide stability, while the baby kept remarkably good time to the beat. As Ryan sank to the ground next to her, Martin related, "I was just telling Jamie about your dancing career."
She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head in embarrassment. "Can a woman have no secrets around here?"
"Of course not, dear," Maeve joined in. "How can we embarrass you if we don’t dig into the archives?"
"Let me get this straight," Jamie chortled, trying to keep a straight face. "You…Ryan O’Flaherty… wanted to be a cheerleader for the ‘49ers?"
"Ummm…I liked football?" Ryan was blushing furiously, and Jamie could not help but prolong her agony.
"Then why didn’t you decide to break the sexual barrier and play for the team, Honey?" Green eyes blinked ingenuously.
"Fine," Ryan huffed, giving up on the pretext. "I liked the girls! I liked football, but I loved the girls in those tight outfits!"
"Siobhán!" her father cried. "You were no more than four years old!"
She shrugged her broad shoulders and gave him a helpless smile. "I was a prodigy!"
As usual, Jamie was carrying her cell phone, and when Conor got near the Civic Center, he called her to announce his whereabouts. After a bout of hugs and kisses, Martin, Maeve and Caitlin headed on home, leaving Jamie and Ryan to enjoy the rest of the festival.
They wandered around the various booths, with Jamie doing a little shopping, as usual. Approaching the "Good Vibrations" table, Ryan called out greetings to her friends who were working the booth. "Still going strong, huh, ‘O’?" one of the women grinned.
"Permanently partnered," Ryan beamed back at her. "No more dates in the try on room."
"Hey," Jamie nudged her with a hip. "You can still take me there!"
"Excellent point, as usual, Love." Ryan shot her a grin so high-powered that her friend couldn’t help but join in.
"You are soooooo whipped, O’Flaherty," she chuckled.
"And I’ve never been happier," Ryan replied absently, her attention focused on the sparkling green eyes that looked up at her with total devotion.
"I think his booth should be right around here, somewhere…" Jamie scanned the area until she focused on the banner that heralded, "The Episcopal Archdiocese of San Francisco Welcomes You." "Poppa!" she cried when she made eye contact with the senior member of the Evans family.
Ryan was pulled along forcibly as Jamie dashed the last 25 feet to greet her grandfather. "Jamie, Ryan," he murmured, wrapping each woman in a hug. "It’s so good to see you both looking so healthy and happy!"
"Happy!" his gleeful granddaughter cried. "Happy!? I’d have to be severely depressed to only be happy," she laughed. "I’ve never been happier, Poppa," she insisted, shaking her head at her inability to convey the depth of her joy.
"That’s obvious, Sweetheart," he soothed, clutching her to his chest. "You both look completely blissful." Holding her at arm’s length he offered an apology. "I’m sorry I wasn’t able to walk with you in the parade, girls. Even though I’m on my sabbatical, I needed to conduct the services today. My associate priests are far younger than I am, and they both wanted to march with our gay and lesbian group, so I filled in for them. But next year, I hope you will join our group. We could use a vibrant pair like you two."
"We might just do that," Jamie said, looking to Ryan for approval.
"It’s a date," Ryan said. "It will be nice to have an organized religion welcome us with open arms."
"Oh…we have our struggles with the issue in both the national and the international church," Rev. Evans said. "But the archdiocese is very supportive, and my congregation has been extraordinarily foresighted in outreach to gay men and lesbians."
"Thanks to you," Jamie smiled.
"No, no, that’s not true at all, Jamie," he insisted. "I’ll gladly take credit where it’s due, but the members of my congregation are light years ahead of me on many social issues. I just try to keep up."
"It’s so nice to have your support," Ryan insisted. "It’s meant an awful lot to both Jamie and me."
"You’ll always have it," he replied confidently, grasping Ryan’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I’ll help you both in any way possible."
"Maybe it’s just the day and the freedom I feel, but I think I’m going to tell my parents soon, Poppa," Jamie informed him.
"You are?" Ryan blinked in surprise.
"Yeah…I don’t see any point in waiting, Honey. You’re my life, and they need to either accept that, or get out of the way and let us start our lives together. I think they need to know."
Ryan continued to blink at her, unsure of what her response should be. Rev. Evans patted Jamie on the back and offered, "Let’s get together and strategize before you do that, Honey. I can offer you some tips that you might not have thought about."
"Okay, Poppa," she agreed immediately. "I’m not quite ready, and I haven’t really discussed it at any length in therapy, but I want to do it soon. Let’s get together for dinner. Is Friday okay?"
"Yes, I can make Friday," he said. "Is that good for you, Ryan?"
"Sure. My schedule is all about Jamie," she grinned.
"Excellent. Call me later in the week and we’ll decide on the details, okay, honey?"
"Will do, Poppa," she agreed, giving him another hug. "We’ll see you then."
Walking away from the booth, Ryan asked, "Do you happen to have a feather on you, Love?"
"A feather? Ahhh, why would I need a feath
er?"
"I just wanted to see if you could, in fact, knock me over with one," Ryan mused, giving the question serious consideration.
"Does it really surprise you that I want to tell my parents, Honey?" Jamie stopped and tugged Ryan to a halt beside her. "I guess I should have asked you first, Ryan. I’m sorry that it didn’t dawn on me to."
"No, no," Ryan soothed, fluffing the golden bangs that framed Jamie’s face. "I don’t want you to ask me for permission to do what you need to do, Hon. It just took me by surprise, that’s all."
"Do you think it’s a bad idea?" Jamie queried, now a little concerned by Ryan’s apparent reticence.
The taller woman took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she considered the issue. "No, I don’t think it’s a bad idea," she said. "I guess I’m afraid that it’s going to be stressful, though. A large part of me wants to maintain this euphoria that we’re in for as long as possible." She had such a wistful, lovesick expression on her face that Jamie just had to kiss her tempting lips. They stood in a tender embrace for a long while, oblivious to every person that passed.
"I didn’t think of it like that," Jamie murmured as they broke apart. "It’s a good point though. I’ll wait until the euphoria dies down, then I’ll tell them."
"Now, Honey," Ryan informed her, "let’s not get carried away. The average life expectancy for a man is only 75. I think we should tell them before that!"
"You are soooo cute!" the smaller woman cooed, holding Ryan’s face in such a tight squeeze that her lips went from their normal horizontal orientation to a vertical one.
Jamie placed a few more kisses on the newly oriented lips, deciding that she couldn’t get enough of the pink flesh, no matter how it was placed.
Disclosures - SF4 Page 6