Jamie sat up and wrapped her lover in her arms. "That was so sweet," she whispered tenderly. "I'll always remember that, Ryan," she said as she began to kiss her.
After several minutes of slowly building passion, Ryan pulled away and protested, "I've only gotten to your hair! I've got at least 35 more things I want to tell you about."
"Later," she breathed, desire beginning to suffuse her body once again. "We've got our whole lives to get through the list."
Thursday dawned foggy and cool, and Ryan shivered mightily as she slipped out of bed. It was just 5:15 when she checked her watch, and she reconsidered her morning run for just a moment. Her routine won out, though, and she decided to do a shorter-than-normal loop just to get the cobwebs out.
They had gone to bed early the night before. Actually, they had ordered Chinese food, and when it was delivered they ate it in bed, essentially not leaving the confines of the cozy king-sized space after 3:30 the previous afternoon. I have never spent so much time in bed, Ryan mused as she smoothed a pair of Lycra tights over her legs. Not that I’m complaining, of course. She felt pretty good, all things considered. Jamie seemed to have gotten past the worst of her anxiety, and the anger Ryan had expected had never materialized. Ryan was confident that they were back on track, even though she realized that they would feel the aftereffects for a long while. I learned my lesson through all of this, she thought with a shiver. I will never—ever—let an ex-lover in the house with me alone. If I see Sara again, I’m gonna have her come to the house in Noe Valley on a weekend with the entire family present!
She spent the first mile of her run saying her morning prayers, but her mind kept drifting to her old friend. She was unsure if she even wanted to see her again, given the pain that her visit had caused Jamie. But there were so many questions that Ryan had not had time to ask that she really wished they could talk again. Better to have a bucket full of questions than cause Jamie another sleepless night, she decided. At least I know the answer to the most important question. Sara did break my heart—there’s no denying that. But she didn’t betray me. That’s been the worst part of the whole incident for me to reconcile. Now that I know she didn’t tell the people at school, I think I can put it away and just forget about her role. A determined look crossed her face as she vowed, But neither Mrs. Andrews nor Coach Ratzinger is getting off that easy. Those two have got some serious explaining to do.
By six o’clock she had whipped out a quick three miles and was back in the kitchen, looking for nourishment. Not wanting to spend the time cooking a hot meal, she had a bowl of mixed cereal, one of her small quirks.. She liked several brands of cold cereal, but she didn't like any one of them well enough to make an entire meal out of. When she was young, her father bought industrial-sized boxes of cereal, often containing three different brands shrink-wrapped together. Since being a picky eater was never an option, she usually mixed them all together, a habit she continued, to Jamie’s amusement. Today she had Cheerios, Frosted Flakes and Kix with a sliced banana and milk.
Partially satisfied, she decided to take a shower in Mia’s bathroom to avoid waking Jamie, who was obviously trying to set some sort of record for lying in a horizontal position. Grabbing her shower supplies, she let the warm water rejuvenate her. She spent a few minutes brushing her teeth while the water beat down on her back, smiling a little when she considered how much her habit amused her partner. Ryan just didn't see the point of showering, then brushing your teeth, since there was a good chance of getting toothpaste all over your chin. Doing both at the same time just seemed more efficient. Even though Jamie teased her about it, she honestly thought that she like it, since she often licked her chest and stomach, trying to find a small hint of Crest on her body.
Ryan was debating going back to bed but realized that she was still hungry, so she went downstairs and ate a beautiful, ripe peach while she waited for some bread to toast. When it was ready, she spread it with some wild fruit preserves that Jamie had purchased. Ohhh, this is mighty tasty, she thought appreciatively. I know another few places that I'd like to spread this on, she added with a chuckle.
When she was fully fed, Ryan figured she may as well help Jamie set her record, so she went back upstairs and slid back into bed, barely causing a ripple in the sheets. Moments after her arms slid around Jamie she felt the first stirrings of wakefulness. As was her usual habit, Jamie made some cute little noises while she slowly stretched and opened her eyes. A delighted grin crossed her face when she realized that Ryan was still in bed. "Hey, it's almost light out. What gives?"
"Can't I choose to stay in bed once in a while?" she asked with a sweet smile.
"Sure you can, but you never do," she teased. "So, what gives?"
"You know too many of my tricks already," she said with narrowed eyes. "I can't get away with anything."
"Try to remember that the next time an ex-lover shows up at our front door," she said with a smile, but Ryan knew there was still some hurt behind the jest.
"I'll never even give my address to another ex-lover," she said sincerely. "They can go to Noe and let Da take over. They’ll never get past the front door with him on guard."
Jamie patted her partner’s cheek, pleased that her pointed comment had not dampened her mood, but gratified that Ryan didn’t just brush it off. "So, for the third time, why aren't you running? You aren't sick, are you?"
"Nope. I did go running, I’ll have you know. I was just about to start dinner, but you looked so cute and cuddly I just had to come back to bed."
"Very funny, Tiger. It’s not even seven o’clock, you goof."
"You’ve got me there," Ryan agreed, glad that the sparkle was back in her partner’s eyes. "I want to go work out with the team, but they’ve decided to start meeting at ten o’clock. They’re apparently not early birds," she said with a mock aggrieved look.
"So if we're not going running, what should we do for the next three hours?" Jamie asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
Ryan had actually been planning on catching up on her e-mail and newsgroups, but the unspoken invitation to stay in bed was not the sort of thing she was wont to refuse, particularly now, with Jamie still showing signs of uneasiness about Sara. "I was thinking of doing something horizontal," she replied softly, with a seductive gaze. She slid closer and placed several soft kisses on and around Jamie's mouth.
"Ohhh, you've already showered. And I think," she said as she licked all around Ryan's mouth, "that you've had breakfast."
"You are very perceptive," she replied with a grin. "Guess what I ate?"
Her partner set about tasting and licking every inch of her mouth and lips. After a few minutes of this thorough survey she dropped back onto the bed with her breathing slightly quickened. "I'm sure you had orange juice. And I got a real hint of fruit, like raspberry. So you must have had jam, cause that's the only thing we have with raspberry in it." She closed her eyes, deep in thought. "I tasted some kind of cereal, but I could never tell which kind with you," she teased. "So let's call that Ryan's Jumble. I couldn't taste it, but I know you put a banana on your cereal 'cause you always do." She sat up with a confident look in her eye. "How'd I do?"
"You've missed your calling, Sweetie. You should have been a detective."
As she trailed her fingers seductively over Ryan’s chest she asked, "If I take a quick shower, will you allow me to investigate the rest of your luscious body?"
"Absolutely," she said happily. "But it's okay with me if you wait until after we've finished the investigation. You'll need one then anyway if I have my way," she whispered.
"Nope," Jamie insisted, hopping out of bed before Ryan’s quick hands could grab on to her. "If I get to play with a nice clean body, so do you. Fair’s fair, Buffy." As she scampered into the bath she decided, "I think I’ll even brush my teeth in the shower today. We can play ‘Find the Crest’ all morning."
Ryan shot her a dazzling white grin, confident that tooth decay would be a thing of the past if everyone got t
o play that game on a daily basis.
Ryan was going to go straight to work after her weight-lifting session, so Jamie had the house to herself for the first time since they’d been back in town. A substantial pile of unopened mail had been building up, so she decided to tackle that little project and then go to the driving range to work on her middle irons for a couple of hours.
It was nearly noon when the ringing phone snapped her out of her absorption. "Hello," she said rather absently as she reviewed a statement from her trust fund.
"Jamie, it’s Cassie."
In less time than it took to snap her gaping mouth closed, Jamie’s defenses went up and she was spoiling for a fight. "And…" she said curtly, surprised at the coldness her heard in her own voice.
Strangely, Cassie didn’t rise to the bait. "And," she replied quietly, "I wanted to know if it would be all right if I came over to the house for a few minutes."
"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Cassie’s gentle tone was making her wonder about her motivations for calling, but Jamie had no desire to hide her wrath.
"Um…two reasons." Her voice was much quieter than normal, and there was almost a frail quality to it. "One, I left some things in the floor safe in the library, and I’d like to retrieve them."
"I can get them and send them to you," Jamie snapped.
"Well, um…you could, but you’d have to have a locksmith come," she reminded her. "I was the only one to use it, and I have the only key."
"I can afford to have a locksmith come, Cassie. It’s well worth the expense to avoid seeing you again. I’d rather blow the house up than have you enter the door again." She had never—ever—spoken to someone in such harsh terms, and it took her a second to understand that she would not have been so angry at Cassie’s actions if they were only meant to hurt her. But she had been cruel to Ryan, and Jamie could not tolerate that, under any circumstances.
Cassie sighed deeply and continued her request, in an even quieter voice. "I deserve that, Jamie. I really do. I’m not going to even try to defend myself. There is no justification for what I did. I treated you horribly, and I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and if there was any way to make it up to you, I would." She said this entire statement in a rush, the words tumbling out so quickly that she nearly stumbled over them. She sucked in another audible breath and said, "I’m sorry I bothered you, Jamie. I’ll send you the key so you don’t have to see me."
"WAIT," Jamie said, loud enough for Cassie to hear as she hung up. "Wait." Quieter this time, but firm and decisive. "I’m sorry for being so rude, Cassie. I…I…well, you do deserve a good kick in the pants, but it’s not my nature to be cruel. It doesn’t feel right, and I’m sorry I came across that way."
"It’s okay, Jamie," she said quickly. "I don’t blame you in the least."
"You said you had two reasons you wanted to come over. What is the second?"
"I want to apologize, Jamie. I’ve …um…I’ve had some time to think about things over the last few weeks, and I’m…um…I just have a different perspective…on life."
Jamie had known Cassie since they were in kindergarten. They were never best friends, but they had spent a lot of time together, both because of school and their mothers' friendship. In the sixteen years she had known her, she had never heard Cassie genuinely apologize for anything. A part of her wanted to just have her send the key back, but another part of her was curious about what had caused this apparent introspection. "What’s going on, Cassie?" she finally asked. "You don’t seem like yourself at all."
"I can’t explain it on the phone, Jamie. I’ll write to you if you are interested. It’s just…too personal to do on the phone. I kinda thought…well, never mind what I thought. I’ll send you the key, Jamie. Thanks."
"Cassie, hold on a minute," Jamie insisted. "Tell me what’s going on."
There was a pregnant pause as the woman on the other end decided how much to reveal. "Some things happened to me in New York that have really confused me, Jamie. I don’t know why I thought you’d be willing, but I had this notion that maybe I could talk about it with you." She let out a heavy sigh and said, "I don’t have any friends in New York, and…I just…I just thought you might be willing to help me through this."
"What about Chris?" Jamie asked, referring to Cassie’s boyfriend.
An even bigger sigh was her reply. "That’s why I’m here," she admitted. "Chris and I broke up. I came back this week to tell him. It just wasn’t fair to lead him on." She sounded nearly desolate, and Jamie felt a surprising amount of empathy for her former friend. There was something so fragile about her—a quality that Jamie had never seen before. Before she knew it, the words were coming out of her mouth: "I have a little time before I need to go out. Can you come over right now?"
"Yes!" Cassie jumped at the chance, and Jamie felt confident that she had done the right thing. She didn’t want to see the woman who had caused her so much pain, but she could not convince herself to be as cruel as Cassie herself had been. "I’m in Berkeley right now, Jamie. I’ll be there in ten minutes."
Jamie ran around the house, removing every visible sign of Ryan’s presence. There wasn’t much, actually, Ryan being perpetually neat, but she didn’t want to reveal any details of their living situation to Cassie. She certainly was not ashamed of Ryan, but she did not trust Cassie any further than she could throw her, and she did not want her to have any grist—whether or not she was in the mood to use the mill.
A few minutes later, Jamie answered the light knock at the door. Cassie looked about the same physically, long blonde hair parted down the middle, frosty blue eyes revealing little of her internal feelings. Cassie was a good six inches taller than Jamie, but today she gave the impression of a much smaller and frailer woman. She seemed almost meek—a term Jamie would never have though to use for the normally brash woman.
They did not hug one another--both knew those days were over--but Cassie stood patiently on the front porch, not making any overtures towards entering until Jamie stepped back and said, "Come on in, Cassie."
She did so, standing uncertainly in the entryway, waiting for a signal. As they made their way into the living room Jamie spied a pair of Ryan’s shoes on the floor near the heavy table near the stairs. She managed to silently kick them out of sight, thanking the heavens that Cassie had been in front of her.
Cassie sat gingerly on the edge of the love seat, while Jamie chose one of the upholstered chairs. "Thank you for this, Jamie," she said quietly, refusing to meet Jamie’s eyes.
"Tell me what’s going on, Cassie," she urged.
The taller woman looked over at her and hesitated before beginning her tale. "Ít’s been an interesting few weeks in New York," she ventured, fidgeting nervously on the chair. "Most of the people I work with at Time/Life are East Coasters, and they’re just so different from us. They’re…I don’t know…more artsy or something."
Jamie smiled at this comment, knowing that there were plenty of arty people at Cal—Cassie just didn’t hang around with them.
"One of the women that I work with goes to Smith," she explained. "She’s a New Yorker, and her parents own a gorgeous apartment in the Dakota." Cassie tilted her head, silently asking if Jamie knew the building near Central Park.
"That’s where John Lennon lived, wasn’t it?"
"Yes," Cassie confirmed, a little surprised that a left coaster had heard of it. "Anyway, Zoey’s parents are retired, and they spend most of their time out on the island."
Jamie rolled her eyes slightly, already tired of Cassie’s attempts to sound like a New Yorker. "Yes…" she led, hoping to get to the point.
"So…she offered to let me stay with her this summer."
Jamie furrowed her brow, thinking that she recalled some other arrangements. "Didn’t you agree to share a sublet with another intern?"
Cassie nodded perfunctorily. "Yes, I did, but staying with Zoey was going to be free, Jamie," she said, as though that explained why it was all right to p
ull out on well-established plans at the last minute. "It’s really expensive in New York, and I didn’t want to spend my whole allowance on rent."
Jamie shook her head in consternation, thinking, Same old Cassie.
To her surprise, Cassie once again grew pensive, a rather uncommon occurrence for the woman. "I thought this would be a nice, easy way to save a few thousand dollars," she said, nearing tears. "But it’s…it’s…confusing me so badly I don’t know what to do."
Jamie was sure that at some previous time in her life, Cassie had been moved to tears, but not in her presence. A few drops tumbled out of her eyes, not a torrent by any means, but a clearer sign of her humanity than Jamie had ever witnessed. "Tell me what’s happened," Jamie said, leaning forward on the love seat.
Cassie sighed, letting out a breath as she shook her head sharply, the long, golden tresses falling neatly against her shoulders. "Zoey is…she’s…I can’t even begin to describe her, Jamie. I’ve never met anyone like her."
Jamie’s brows knit closer together as she tried to guess where this path was leading. "Go on," she urged.
Cassie’s face broke into a gentle smile as she continued, "She’s so interesting, and bright. She can talk for hours about music or art…"
"She sounds like an interesting person," Jamie interrupted, "but what does that have to do with your problem?"
Cassie rested back against the chair, tilting her head until she stared at the ceiling. She let out the breath she held and revealed, "I think I’m falling in love with her."
Jamie nearly laughed in her former friend’s face, but the fragile, wounded look on Cassie’s face brought her compassion to the forefront. "Have you…told her this?"
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