by Deanna Chase
As he walked down the street, a sigh to his left startled him, an unpleasant sensation that was yet another change, as it never occurred during his life as Benton. First as a soldier and then as a hunter of all types of animals, two-legged or four, he had learned the lesson hard and learned fast – awareness or death.
But Benton’s skillset didn’t transfer to Byron, and the ability to be surprised again was the least of those changes. He was clumsy with no awareness and no strength. This body was soft and small and spoiled, without a single scar to mar the smooth skin he now possessed.
He turned to see Tara staring at him, her shoulders thrown back in such a way that her breasts were thrust out and about as bared as they could be without her being arrested for public indecency.
“What a coincidence! Byron, how good to see you.”
After a week of seeing her every day in various settings, “coincidence” was a word that no longer applied to any of their interactions. But while Byron didn’t have Benton’s quick reflexes, he had a silver tongue and a way of saying just the right platitude, no matter the situation. He brought Tara’s hand to his mouth and said, “I am truly blessed that providence continues to set us in each other’s path.”
A pretty blush spread over her cheeks and down to the tops of her breasts, but her eyes were clear and cunning. Maybe this was one of her skills, this ability to present a false front with so many genuine touches. “Perhaps you have settled in enough that we could dine together tonight?” she asked, and if he wasn’t mistaken, her breasts had finally broke free and the edge of nipple now showed over the bodice of her gown.
“I–”
“Tara,” called a male voice.
Tara hunched her shoulders and her gown was suddenly a great deal more modest. Councilor Adam Hale strode across the street, a smile on his face but his eyes hard and beady as they fixed on Byron. With as much forwardness as polite society allowed, Hale placed his body between Byron and Tara and positioned himself in such a way that Tara was forced to step closer to Hale.
Hale reached out to shake Byron’s hand. “Byron, you look well. How is your visit going?”
Benton would have towered over Hale until he near pissed himself and grabbed the first excuse to run away. But Byron was not as tall as this less-than-impressive male, and endured as Hale crushed his hand in a clammy grip. “Your village agrees with me, Councilor. You and the other board members are to be commended for your excellent leadership.”
“Your praise is overgenerous. How is your art coming? Have you decided how long you will stay?”
Along with the charm and looks came a heretofore unknown talent for sketching. Sara must have chosen that purposefully, because every woman asked him if he could draw and each of them went dreamy-eyed at the confirmation. “My little sketches are not worth talking about. As for length of stay, that is still undecided.” After Nissa agreed to marry him, he’d let her decide if she wanted to stay in the village or move away.
Nissa. That was another surprise. He assumed she would fall instantly in love with him now that he looked like this. Instead, she’d been polite and friendly, but there was a wall she had put up between the two of them that he wasn’t sure how to break through. She would leave him as soon as was acceptable and never made excuses to linger at his side like the other women did.
The clock struck the hour, a reminder of where he’d been heading when Tara caught him. “If you’ll excuse me, Councilor Hale, Tara, I need to do some sketching while the light is still good.” With a tip of his hat, he retreated and headed towards the path that would eventually lead him to his – Benton’s – cabin.
When he reached his destination his breathing was heavy and his chest ached with exertion, both unknown occurrences before the transformation.
He wouldn’t think of it. He could look in the mirror and not see a monster. He could walk down the street without frightening people. He could give Nissa a good life with a husband she would be proud to be seen with, a life where they could live in town with people and not be relegated to the edges of it. The burn in his chest was a small price to pay.
“What are you doing here?”
The third surprise of the day, but this one was welcome. Nissa was underneath her tree. She had been reading but was now rose to meet him.
“I’m sorry to disturb you. I heard the lake was beautiful and it was suggested I might enjoy sketching it.” It was a good enough story and would allay any concern of him following her. He doubted she would worry overmuch about this new man finding Benton’s cabin. As far as she knew, Benton had no valuable belongings. Benton’s home was sturdy and warm with few personal belongings – most of which she had gotten for the home – but nothing of monetary value.
He never told her about the numerous hiding places around the cabin and woods where he stashed money, jewelry, and other valuable items, the amount of which probably made him the wealthiest man in the country, let alone the village. Benton had no real use for money, but he had skills that were in demand by wealthy people, and he wanted Nissa to have everything in this life she desired.
Nissa looked at the lake, toward the little expanse of rocks. That was where she would often sit when Benton was out swimming and she talked to him from the shore. “It is beautiful here. I’ve always loved it.”
She turned back to look at him, her eyes clear and guileless, a look not often possessed by women when they saw him these days. He loved Nissa, loved everything about her, from her voice that would occasionally go squeaky to her pointed features to the generous padding on her body. While he loved everything, he was aware that nothing about her was classically beautiful – save one feature. Nissa had the most stunning eyes to ever exist on a human being. They were the color of pure, bright amethyst, surrounded by thick black lashes and set under delicately arched brows. Most people never noticed them because they didn’t bother to look at her long enough, but the few who did always spoke about her eyes in wonderment.
When one of those eyebrows arched at him, chagrin hit hard. He’d been staring like a lovestruck fool. Not quite the suave image he was trying to show her. He cleared his throat. “I’m surprised more people aren’t here to enjoy it.”
“People don’t tend to come here often. The man who owns that cabin has made it clear he doesn’t like visitors, and people around here respect him enough to accede to his wishes.” Her voice trailed off at the end, and she once again looked away from him. She was thinking of Benton, but about what?
“Then why are you here?” He kept his voice gentle in the hopes she would share her thoughts on Benton.
“I’m allowed to be here. He’s my friend.”
“Boyfriend?”
Her head whipped around, the “No!” tripping from her tongue before her head stopped moving. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, affecting the same authoritative look she often had around her pupils. “Benton is a good friend of mine. He’s away at the moment.”
“Doing what?” He wasn’t quite sure why he was pushing this. He was here as Byron, trying to win her as Byron. What good would knowing her feelings for Benton do now?
Even if she confessed to loving Benton, he wouldn’t want to go back to his old self, not until he was sure she would never love Byron. Byron was the best chance of them having a perfect life.
Benton had too many enemies and too much history. Benton had scars and injuries that would hobble him and bend him sooner than pure aging. Being Benton’s woman meant she would be pitied rather than envied.
No, he was going to remain Byron and give her the fairy tale.
So why torture himself with hearing how she felt over Benton?
“I don’t know. Benton is private. He doesn’t always tell me his every move. But he’s often hired as a hunter or a tracker, both of animals and criminals. His skills are such that he’s in demand even by those outside the village.”
“Is he why you don’t spend time with me?”
Her mouth parted in shock
at his words and her hands clutched her book closer to her chest. “Excuse me?”
He took a small step toward her, entering the edges of her personal space. “You don’t tend to stay when I’m around. You leave as soon as good manners allow it.”
The tree was at her back and stopped what otherwise would have been her escape. “I don’t do that.”
“Yes, you do, and please don’t lie to me.” Another small step forward. As Benton he towered over her, but Byron was only an inch taller than she was. They were eye-to-eye, gazes locked, hers nervous but tinged with something he couldn’t quite place, perhaps a growing awareness that she was with a man who had an interest in her beyond the first level of courtesy.
“Really, that’s not the case-”
“Good to hear. Then would you like to spend time with me? Get to know me? Without your friends or enemies hanging onto our every word.”
She shook her head, but the movement conveyed confusion and not negativity. “I’m not sure what you’re asking. You can’t be asking… me and you?”
“Why not me and you?” He was as close to her as he dared, inches away where only a slight tilt and a small lean would have his lips meeting hers. “You’re the only one who runs away from me. Any other woman would want to be where you are now. Why are you fighting me the way you have been these last weeks?”
A heartbeat, two, and a shadow chased across her eyes, leaving in its wake storm clouds and icy frost. She squared her shoulders, her chin angling up. “Does every woman have to fall at your feet before you’ll be happy? Isn’t Tara and her band of groupies enough? What is so broken in you that you have to make a fool of me to be satisfied?”
This was a tone he had never heard before. A sharpness and the caustic edge, but also a hint of jealousy – faint, hardly overwhelming, but there – and even more of a shock, a thread of loneliness he could discern only because it was her, only because he knew every nuance of tone she had ever uttered.
He never wanted to hear this pain from her again. He would dig deep and unearth the cause, uproot it from her spirit. “What’s hurt you so badly that you would say such a thing?”
Her body caved in on itself for a moment, dragged inward by the weight of whatever she carried before her strong spirit reasserted itself. “Excuse me?”
“I asked what’s hurting you. I don’t like seeing it.”
“What’s hurting me? I think this…game, this whatever you’re trying to prove or to plan, that’s what’s hurting me. So why don’t you tell me what your deal is so I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder to see what you are up to.”
What had happened that she would take an offer of a man to a woman and twist it into this ugliness? He had done nothing to deserve the vitriol that cast its shadow now over her wonderfully familiar features.
There was no one in this world with lovelier eyes than Nissa, the violet darkened to the deep purple of twilight with her anger. This close to her, those eyes dark like they would be in passion, her sweet, fresh fragrance filling the air around them, this close to her his body trembled as desire struck, hard and thick and molten.
He lifted his hand, a slow, languid movement. She caught the motion but fear didn’t enter her expression. Instead, curiosity hit hard, and her face took on an almost academic mask as she pondered what he would do next.
One finger reached out and touched her temple. She startled but when she didn’t move away he let his finger roam, past the line of her sharp cheekbone and over her nose and its little bump. When he reached her mouth he stopped and studied her again.
The mask was gone from her features, and while her eyes were still dark and angry, anger wasn’t the only emotion adding depth to them. She swallowed and said, her voice harsh, “Don’t insult my intelligence. People who look like you do not have any interest in people who look like me, not without gaining something from it.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong. I have every interest in you and all I have to gain is your companionship. And your intelligence is one of the traits I admire about you.” He took his finger away from her face, missing the warmth of her skin the moment he left it. However, he refused to step away from her. A shadow of remembered conversation between Nissa and Benton came to him, a frame of reference they had shared and she would understand. “When people speak around you, do they speak to you, or at you?”
Her lips parted on a sharp inhale of breath.
He continued. “They see this-” and he waved his hand above his face, “-and they discount this.” He pointed to his own temple.
Her gaze slid away for a few seconds, an unspoken admission of guilt.
“It’s not totally without cause. The Taras of the world are proof of that. I just don’t want that for myself. I want to be with people who will respect all parts of me.” A small laugh escaped him. “I’ve watched you, seen how you are treated. I think you and I deal with the same small-minded people always thinking the worst of us. I think you and I are more alike than me and Tara.”
She cleared her throat and pushed past him, away from the tree and away from the closeness of his body. “That may be, but it doesn’t explain why your interest in me started.”
It was time to bring a little levity back into their conversation. “Well, never let it be said I am not as prone to the foibles of human nature as any other being.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means that anything different attracts our notice.”
Her head tilted as she thought over his words, until her head straightened and eyes widened as she realized what he was implying. “Your interest in me started because I was indifferent to you?”
“What can I say? That doesn’t happen to me.”
Her head fell forward into her hands. “I can’t believe this. I just wanted to stay far away from you, and I caught your eye in the process.”
Crossing his arms and leaning back against a tree, he affected an expression of wounded pride. “As thrilled as I am to have helped you solve your puzzle, I admit to being a little hurt you wanted to go to such great lengths to avoid me.”
She had the decency to blush at his words and her head ducked in shame. “I’m sorry,” she said, her words strong but her tone soft. “I judged you without knowing you. I had no right.”
“Don’t lose heart. You might find you are right about me yet.”
Nissa laughed, a full-belly laugh that shook her whole frame and rang out over the tops of the trees. She was glorious with the sparkle of mirth shining from her eyes and a smile that held nothing but goodwill.
She came back to herself slowly, a few quiet chuckles escaping before she sobered. Nissa glanced at him then, and whatever she saw on his face made the last of the smile fade from her lips and brought her hand up to her throat as her breath quickened.
He spoke without thinking, wanting her to know everything he had never been able to say as Benton, that he had been too cowardly to say as Benton. “I am drawn to you. I don’t know why, but it happened the first moment I saw you. It drives me crazy that you don’t see yourself as special, because I know the truth. Out of everyone here, you are one of the few who is truly worthy. Your goodness radiates from you. You bring joy and knowledge and bone-deep caring to every task you complete. You help everyone from toddlers to old men, and you treat them all with respect. You have the most wonderful laugh and I don’t think angels could have more beautiful eyes than yours. If this world was made of only people like you, heaven wouldn’t be necessary.”
Shock held her immobile, her eyes wide as she studied him while her hand covered her mouth. He swallowed, aware now that it might have been too much too soon.
Moments later, his fear was justified as she turned and ran.
Chapter Five
“He’s still watching me, isn’t he?”
Marie didn’t even bother to look over at the corner table where Byron was enjoying a solitary drink. “Yup.”
Nissa sighed but resisted the urge to dr
op her head against the top of the bar a few times. This was getting ridiculous.
Since the meeting at the cabin a few days ago, Byron’s determination to be around her had easily doubled. Wherever she was, he somehow managed to be close by.
Being constantly around the sexy artist was not helping her resolve not to have anything to do with him.
“Whhhhyyyy? Why? Why can’t he leave me alone?”
“Thanks for sharing the whining. With this baby due in a couple of weeks I should start getting used to that.”
“You are what we call not being supportive.”
“Fine, you want supportive?” Marie placed her hands flat against the bar and leaned as far forward as her huge belly would allow. “Maybe he just likes you.”
“I know he likes me! He told me so!”
“You give me a headache.” Marie said in a long-suffering voice and slapped her hand on her forehead. “Is this running away because you like Benton and don’t want to give this guy false hope?”
Well, there was that, though when Benton came home she was going to… do something really awful to him for leaving her without any warning and having to deal with this situation herself.
She missed him so much. Missed him. It was an ache in her chest that wouldn’t subside. There was a void where his scent and his voice and his sheer presence should reside. For the last three years his presence was one of the constants of her life. Even when he was gone on one of his trips he made arrangements for her to be safe and looked after while he was gone, and those acts of caring were daily reminders of him. Now she was alone with nothing, and as weirdly flattering as Byron’s pursuit of her was, it couldn’t begin to fill that hole.
Speaking of Byron. “It doesn’t make sense for him to pursue me. It just doesn’t make sense! Can you imagine what we would look like walking together, the disgusted looks we would get, the whispers of everyone asking why someone who looks like him is seen with someone who looks like me?”