She takes in a big gulp of air but doesn’t release it. Her hands come back up in front of her body and she starts snapping one of the elastic bands on her wrist against her skin. Finally she exhales and lifts her head. She looks like she’s scared of me. “I—I wasn’t completely honest with you earlier.” Her eyes shift and she stares at her hands again. “Eir and Sea found a trap set for you near the path where I run. I thought it would be better if you stayed here. I—I didn’t want anything to happen to you, and…well, it was Sean. Sean set it up and we had a plan to execute him.” She closes her eyes tightly, as if expecting to be slapped. “I screwed up, though, and he got away.”
For a minute I don’t know how I feel about this. It’s like my brain has been disconnected from my body and I’m not able to compute anything she’s said. All the information seems to be floating in space when I ask, “So…the short version is that you lied to me, and Sean — who is out to kill me — is God knows where?”
She nods slowly, pulls in another breath and looks up, but not at my face. She extends a hand like she wants to touch my arm, but ends up snapping it away and taking a step backwards. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, Flint, I really did—”
I feel like I’ve been hit in the back of the head as everything starts to sink in. Sean made it blatantly obvious that he has no problem killing someone, and yet she decided she could handle him alone. I don’t care what she says, there’s no way she’d actually let Eirnin help her. I feel my hands getting hot and I throw them up. “You could have gotten yourself killed!”
She flinches and I shake my hands out — accidentally lighting her house on fire is not going to get me anywhere. I open my mouth to say something else, but then I get sick of her staring at the floor. “Look at me, Fi.”
When she does, her eyes are wet with tears. She looks like she could break down at any second. “I’m sorry, I know—”
“Stop apologizing,” I cut her off and she snaps her mouth closed. She starts wringing her hands and I force myself to take a deep breath. I really can’t tell if I’m pissed because she lied or because she was too stubborn to ask me for help, but she really doesn’t deserve to be screamed at. “Just tell me why you felt the need to lie to me.”
She grinds her teeth together and shakes her head. For a minute she’s not breathing, and I know she’s trying not to burst out in sobs. As frazzled as I am, I still have to wonder why she is reacting this badly. “I wanted to keep you out of it,” she says. “I know how you and Sean are with each other, and the plan was to stage a family picnic with Sea and Eir as backup and—” She sighs shakily, deciding her failed plan is not worth explaining. “I wanted to keep you safe.”
Doesn’t she realize she’s not God? Is it really so hard for her to accept that the people she loves can help? I press my fingers to my temples and growl to myself a bit. I need to get a grip on my emotions before I go off and make her feel even worse. She makes a small whimpering sound and I look up in automatic worry. She presses her hands to her eyes as if that will hide the fact she’s about to cry. “Love, don’t cry,” I say slowly. “It’s…I understand.”
“I’m so sorry I lied to you,” she says, sniffling. “I’m so sorry, Flint.”
I really cannot stand the sound of her crying. It makes my chest hurt and I reach for her; touching her upper arm right above where Sean grabbed her the other day. The bruise has started to change colors now, and seeing the reminder that he has already hurt her makes me feel sick. “I’m not mad at you, just…” I huff. “Just let me help you, okay?”
She doesn’t respond. She is still for a minute and then she lunges at me; wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my shoulder. I put my arms around her waist and hold her to me. I’m relieved she didn’t get hurt. Sean obviously is a sociopath and probably would have killed all three of them if he were able. And considering he has friends in high places, I’m sure someone would have come to his rescue—
Oh.
Shit.
I still haven’t passed on that information.
Sure, Seamus knows an outsider was hanging out when Sean’s hand almost got melted off, but he probably assumed Fi already had that vital piece of data when she came up with the plan to execute him. Damn it.
“I have to tell you something, too,” I say suddenly, feeling slightly ill. She could have gotten killed because I almost forgot about the icy-eyed man with Sean, and now I really don’t want to let go of her. But she seems to register the dread in my tone and pulls back just enough to look up at me. “What is it?”
“About Sean,” I say. “When he grabbed you by the border, he was talking with someone.”
Confusion clouds her features and she tilts her head at me. “With someone? Someone from here?” She blinks and horror settles in her eyes. “Or someone you’ve never seen around here?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him.” I sigh. “I didn’t tell you because you were already shaken up over him grabbing you, and the little, er, shall we say, incident afterwards, and I just…” I trail off.
She’s scowling. “So you were trying to protect me.”
“Yes,” I admit. It wasn’t a question, but I feel she wanted an answer anyway. “I’m sorry, I really am, but…you were already having a bad day, and you radiate stress sometimes, and I…I didn’t want to ruin your evening.”
She sighs and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. She shakes her head and relaxes against me a bit; her hands kneading at my shoulders. “Don’t apologize. I’m just not used to someone trying to protect me.”
I feel myself frowning and kiss her forehead. I don’t like the idea that she’s felt alone any longer than I’ve known her. “Yeah, well. You’re kind of stuck with me so get used to it.”
Her eyes snap up to my face and she stares at me. I keep eye contact, completely sure of what I said, and offer her a smirk. “I don’t mind being stuck with you,” she says breathlessly.
I press a kiss to her mouth slowly and smile. “Good.”
She seems dazed, like I’ve hit her with a brick, and I wrap my arms more securely around her. Her face turns a deep red color once she’s fitted up against me completely and I bite the inside of my cheek so I don’t smile at her. She shakes her head and blinks a few times as if waking up from a deep sleep. “What, um…? What did this person look like?”
I am tempted not to answer. Her voice is still breathy and almost labored, and I’d really like to kiss her again and make her forget this whole conversation, but I make my mouth work anyway. “Uh, he was tall…about Sean’s height. Hasn’t shaved in a while. Dirty blond hair, and this kind of…dead, icy look in his eyes.” I remember the look he put on Fi and feel myself scowl. “When he saw you he looked like he could’ve strangled you, but when he noticed you weren’t alone he took off running.”
All the color drains from her face and her grip on my shoulders gets impossibly tighter. She shakes her head as if she can’t believe what I’ve said. “That sounds like Hugh.”
“Hugh?” I don’t know this guy, but I can tell by the look on her face I won’t like him much at all. “Who’s Hugh?”
“He—” She stops and shakes her head. “He was a market person who decided to stick around a while back. It was his tip that my parents followed when they left.” She takes in a small breath and hides her face under my chin again. “He, um, well, he…he pretended to like me to get close to Eirnin.”
I clear my throat so I don’t growl at that statement and shake my head. There are many unkind things I could say about this jerk, but instead I try and project calmness for her sake. “So, asshat, then.”
A smile creeps over her face and she lets out a small laugh. She lifts her hand from my shoulder and brushes my hair back away from my face. “It sounds like Hugh, but he was executed when he confessed his plan to me. Sean—” The smile goes away suddenly and she looks worried, “—took care of it.”
“We’re sure Sean
handled it?” I ask as I’m running my hands along her sides in an attempt to calm her down.
She shakes her head and wraps her arms around her middle, looking down. “Are we sure of anything Sean did or didn’t do at this point?”
“Hey,” I say, tugging her arms away and leading her to sit at the edge of the bed. I kneel down in front of her and hold her hands in mine. “Don’t get upset. Maybe he has a brother.”
She shakes her head. “Hugh had no family at all. He wouldn’t tell us who he was working with, but we assumed it was the Winter Court.” She sniffles and her eyes are rimmed with red.
“Maybe Lu knows something,” I offer, trying to lift her spirits again. She looks so down and it’s driving me nuts. I kiss her palm. “Look, don’t worry about him, okay? He’s not going to get anywhere near you while I’m around.”
She looks at me and tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She looks exhausted, and I link our fingers together. “How about we lie down for a while, let you catch your breath, and then we can go talk to Lu?”
She nods and I stand, gesturing for her to move over. I am not even fully down beside her before she’s curling into my chest and fisting my shirt in her hands. I rest my hands low on her back and just let her relax and breathe for a while.
“I truly am sorry I lied to you,” she says after a moment, sighing against my neck. “I really am.”
Hoping she didn’t feel my shiver over her mouth on my collarbone, I shrug one shoulder and hum in response. “Wanna know how you could make it up to me?”
Her head snaps up and she stares down at me, curiosity overtaking her features. “How?”
“Kiss me.”
She pauses for a minute and then smacks my chest, laughing. “You are such an ass sometimes.”
“Yeah, but it made you smile,” I reply and smirk up at her. She huffs and shakes her head, but she ducks her head down and presses her lips to mine. “You’re lucky I love you,” she grumbles before dropping her head to my shoulder again, feigning irritation.
“Believe me, love,” I reply. “I already know that.”
Chapter 28—Eirnin
September 2102
As soon as Flint follows my sister from the room and closes the door behind them, I haul Lumi back into my arms. I need to feel that she’s here and alive. The absolute panic that flowed through me the whole way back to the house is still wreaking havoc on my insides. My heart is pounding and my legs are like rubber from our frantic run. I am not ready to let her go yet, and I might never be. My hands are shaking when Lu says, "Eir, you need to sit down."
I pull back so I can look at her, surprised at the concern in her voice. "I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about."
She blinks at me and I wonder if maybe I’m missing something. It would be the first time I was oblivious to what’s right in front of me, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. "I'm right here, Eirnin, you don't have to be worried." She grabs my much larger hand in both of hers and drags her bottom lip between her teeth. "Please?"
I look down at her, see the concern on her face and feel terrible that she’s worrying about me. “If it will make you feel better, of course." I don’t know if there is anything I wouldn’t do to comfort her. I sit down on her bed and keep a firm grasp of one of her hands. It calms me down and reminds me that she’s safe.
Her brow furrows a little and she sits down next to me, clearly thinking I’m insane. "You, um...you wanna tell me why you think I wouldn't be okay?"
I shake my head a little and try to unclutter my brain. "We found a trap. Well, I had a vision and it led us to the trap, and it was set for Flint." I pause to collect my thoughts; my mind still frantic from the events of the day. "We were worried he might have made a play for you too." I feel my whole body tense just thinking about Sean getting anywhere near her.
"Okay." Lu pokes my chest until I lie down and then sits back down by my waist. I can feel the stress and worry radiating from her as she looks down at me; her midnight eyes wide. "How about we focus on breathing for a little bit, okay? You're scaring me."
I lay back to appease her. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry. I was just worried I'd missed something and he'd come here instead." I swallow past the fear still clogging my throat. "I was terrified something had happened to you and we'd left you here with no idea of what was going on.” I stop rambling and do my best to staunch the anxiety still running through me.
She scrunches her adorable little nose at me and smacks my arm. "Don't apologize to me." Then she smiles; leaning on me a bit and making the room seem a whole lot warmer than it was. "Flint sucks at poker, by the way."
I grin at her, surprised to find myself laughing. I know she’s trying to change the subject and for now, I let her. "Huh, I never figured Flint would suck at poker."
"Oh, yeah. Like," she shakes her head, "really bad. The cards are not his friend." She places her hand on my chest and watches my face intently. I wonder for a moment what thoughts are running through her head, and then make myself snap out of it before I make a bigger fool of myself.
Instead I capture her gaze with my own, reminding myself that I can’t just lean in and kiss her, no matter how much I’d like to. And I’d really, really like to. "Are you sure you're not just really good?"
Her lips quirk up and the bottom drops out of my stomach. She clears her throat and says, "Eh. Maybe." She pauses a moment before adding, "Don't tell him I said that, though."
I grin and am enchanted by her all over again. "I'll take it to the grave. Are you sure you're okay?"
She nods. "Positive." She narrows her eyes and tilts her head a little, studying me. "If you don't mind my asking, though — who did you think was coming after me?" She pauses and then rushes on. "And what do you mean you had a vision?"
"Uh, sorry — it was Sean, of course. I knew he was up to something." I swallow and look away from her, scared to confess my ‘gift’. This is the moment of truth. Will she turn and run away when she finds out I’m a freak? "Uh, a dream vision. I think Fi told you about our Gran."
She reaches her hand up and brushes the hair out of my face, looking distracted. "You're a seer?" She sounds amazed and curious, not scared or disgusted, and I feel a weight leave my chest.
I raise my eyes to hers. "Yes, and I seem to be a bit of an empath, too. That's new, though," I tell her with a grin.
She blushes for some reason but tilts her head, interested. "Well aren't you full of surprises?" She smiles; her fingers still toying with my hair and making my brain fuzzy. "What did Sean do?"
"I would have told you, but I'm just used to people I’m close to already knowing,” I tell her; blushing at the way she makes me feel just by running her fingers through my hair.
"It's okay," she says, still smiling in that very cute way of hers.
“....and Sean set up an iron animal trap, trying to get rid of Flint," I ramble on, dazzled by her smile.
"He went after Flint?" She scowls and then mutters, "I hate him."
I nod in total agreement. "You should have seen Fi; she was scary. Sean better hope he never sees her again.” I shudder as I remember my sister’s reaction to the trap. “And I hate him, too," I tell her honestly.
"He's not dead? How is he not dead?" she asks; looking spooked, holding my gaze with her navy one. I see the fear there, and when she puts her hand back on my chest I cover it with my larger one.
"No, Fi had — we had — a plan, but he figured things out somehow because he took off, which is why we were in a panic thinking he'd come here for you guys."
She kneads her fingers against my chest and scoots a bit closer; looking at our entwined hands and letting out a breath. "Sean's not wrapped too tight, is he?"
I have to admit I’m slightly distracted by her hand on my chest, just as I am every time she touches me in the most innocent of ways. "No, I don't think he is. He's dangerous — I’ve known he was dangerous for a while." I put my other hand on her leg, trying to offer comfort. "We h
ad no idea he would do something like this, though."
She blushes suddenly, saying, "I'm sorry he's making you go through this."
I wonder for a moment why she’s blushing but make myself leave it alone. “It’s not your fault. I just can’t help but think that maybe if I’d said something to Fi about him sooner we could have avoided this.”
She stares at me for a minute and I see her eyes narrow. "It's not your fault, either. At all."
I squeeze her leg. “Thank you for saying that, but I can’t agree with you. I get these feelings for a reason, Lu, and I know better than to ignore them.”
She shakes her head at me. "You had a feeling he was a bad person, but you just said yourself that you never expected he'd do something like this. His actions aren't your responsibility."
I shake my head back at her, angry with myself for behaving like a spoiled brat. “I knew something wasn’t right. I know his actions aren’t my responsibility, but Fi not knowing what I knew is.”
She bites her lip and looks at me closely, and I try my best not to squirm under her scrutiny. "I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself."
"I was an ass, Lu. I was mad at Fi because she didn't just blindly believe me like she used to, and I let that keep me from doing what I should have," I tell her; feeling ashamed of my petulance and non-action.
She huffs at me and I bite my lip to keep from grinning at her. "Okay, tell me this, Wonder Boy." She stares into my eyes and for the moment I decide to let the nickname slide; losing my place in the conversation. "Did you sit in your room with a feeling Sean would try and murder your sister’s beau, and go, 'You know, I'm gonna withhold this information out of spite'?"
I shake my head, still trying not to grin at her. “Of course I didn’t, Lu, but I should have told her the moment I started feeling so strongly about Sean. Instead I pussyfooted around it and told myself I couldn’t hurt her like that.”
Resistance Page 30