While more than half the people in the chapel were scrambling to get out, others were starting to take sides. Some with Hazel, others with Anna Mae.
“Bust her ass, Hazel. With Dover gone, she’s gonna go after somebody else’s husband. You can—”
“Gut punch her Anna Mae before—”
“ . . . best damn funeral I’ve ever been to.”
Nonie tried to make it over to the folks egging them on, to ask them to be quiet, but in truth, there was nothing she could do with anyone right now.
Even Shaundelle was getting into the act. Hands on hips, she yelled over the din, “If you gonna do it, do it right. Put those two broads in another room where they can duke it out. Winner walks out the door. Then it’s over. Otherwise we’ll be here all damn day waiting to see who’s got enough balls to beat the shit out of the other.”
Nate Lopez, despite the no-go T-boy had given Sheriff Buchanan, started working his way to the women, dodging swings and people shoving up against him. As if to protect their viewing turf, the remaining onlookers stood side by side, refusing to let Nate past them.
By now, Anna Mae’s hair was no longer short and perky. It stuck up in uneven spikes around her head like she’d stuck her finger into an electrical socket.
Hazel no longer looked freshly spewed out of a beauty parlor. Her coiffed hair was now just a tangled mess that made her look like she’d been on an alcoholic bender.
Suddenly, Anna Mae got some wind beneath her wings and started shoving Hazel hard until she pushed the woman right up against Dover’s casket. The casket teetered on its bier and while the women were still punching and shoving, Dover’s casket flipped off its stand and wound up behind it. Fortunately the lid didn't pop open so no one saw the mess that had been left of his face. From what Nonie’d heard, her father had done the best he could to reconstruct Dover’s face, but too many bones were missing to make him viewable.
By now, Fezzo wasn’t waiting for T-boy’s direction. He had seemingly had enough of all the stupidity. Never being a man of many words, he was definitely one for action. He marched over to the women, took hold of Anna Mae by the waist, lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. Amidst much cheering and a few boos, he carried her out of the chapel and the funeral home. Anna Mae kicked and screamed and beat Fezzo on the back with her fists.
“Let me go, you big bastard!” Anna Mae yelled. “I have as much right to be here as anyone. I’ll call the police, call them and have you arrested for assault.”
As Fezzo carried Anna Mae outside, Sheriff Buchanan showed up beside him. “Just take her to my squad car. Don’t think she’s in much shape to drive. I’ll take her home.”
“Put me down, you big ox,” Anna Mae yelled. “I swear I’ll call the cops and have you arrested.”
“I am the police,” Sheriff Buchanan said. “And if you don't stop running that mouth of yours and go peacefully I'll have you behind bars within the next fifteen minutes.”
From the front door of the funeral home, Nonie watched them load Anna Mae into a squad car. Personally she thought it was pretty tacky for her to show up at Dover’s viewing with his wife there, but who was she to judge?
Nonie went back into the funeral home to check on Hazel’s condition and hoped she didn’t have to be hauled off in Lopez’s squad car.
When she walked back into the chapel, all seemed relatively and unusually calm.
Hazel stood near the bier where the casket once sat, looked at the coffin lying askew on the floor, then turned back to see that most of the chapel was now empty. She pulled a tissue out of her skirt pocket and blew her nose. Grabbed a second tissue and wiped away a true flood of tears.
Although Dover’s funeral was scheduled for a four hour viewing then a trip to the crematorium, with all of the hoo-hah that took place, Dover wasn’t shipped off until nearly five that afternoon. Once the funeral home had cleared out, Nonie helped her dad, Fezzo, and Margaret clean up the mess that had been left behind.
Flowers were strewn throughout the viewing room and all the way into the lobby, coffee cups and Coke cans left empty or half-full on the coffee lounge countertops.
“I never seen nothin’ like dis in all my life, me,” Fezzo said. “All dem fancy people here and not one of ’em knows how to use a trashcan.”
Nonie took a trash bag from a bottom cabinet and started tossing everything worthless in sight. When that was done, she soaped up a dishtowel and wiped down the countertops and coffee urn.
Margaret suddenly appeared in the lounge and plopped down in a chair and slouched. “Lawd, I’m more tired than when I was eighteen and helped Daddy pick cotton. Have you ever seen such a crazy bunch of people?”
“Not here, no,” Fezzo said. “I mean everybody in dis town knew Dover was cheatin’ on his wife. Why dat woman wanted to come here and start all that bull, I don’t know. Me, I’m not going to have dat problem. When I pass on to de good Lord, ain’t nobody’s gonna have nothin’ to fight about. I ain’t married and ain’t getting’ married. Poo yi, dat’s too much drama.”
Nonie nodded. “Drama for sure.” She looked over at Margaret, who looked ready to fall asleep in her chair. “Have you seen Mom or Dad?”
Margaret yawned, then did a little eye roll. “Your mama’s resting since she had that faintin’ spell. Claims she’s too weak to help out. Has a headache. Your daddy, though, is outside picking up garbage. Cigarette butts, Styrofoam coffee cups, even beer cans. Guess a few folks decided to indulge before the service.”
Nonie scowled. “My mother’s headache is just to get out of cleaning up this place.”
“No matter what be de reason, don’t talk bad about you mama like dat,” Fezzo said. “The good Lord don’t like when we talk bad about our mamas and daddies.”
“But it’s the truth, Uncle Fezzo. You know that.”
“Don’t matter. If you can’t say something good, just don’t say nothin’.”
Nonie pursed her lips for a moment, then asked, “Have you ever seen anything like what happened today with Hazel and Anna Mae before?”
Fezzo tried to hide a grin, but Nonie caught it. “Only one time since I been workin’ wit’ you daddy. Two men got mad over some woman and decked it out right in the viewing room. It wasn’t like today, though. A man’s going to punch for the knockout. I ain’t never seen a catfight like I did wit’ dem two women.”
Nonie didn’t hide her grin. “They looked like two old hens fighting over an egg neither one could hatch.”
Fezzo let out a loud belly laugh. “Good way to say dat. It’s true. It looked just like dat.”
Something niggled Nonie in the gut and she looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. It was nearly five-forty-five. Jack and the rest of the crew were supposed to pick her up at seven-thirty.
“I’ve got to go,” Nonie said. “How’re we looking for tomorrow?”
“All we have is old Mrs. Inez Trahan,” Margaret said.
“Should be an easy one,” Fezzo said. “Poor old soul was ninety-four years old. Only one son and grandson. By this time, unless people come from de nursing home, dats all who’s gonna show. I’m sure most of her friends have already passed on.”
“Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow,” Margaret said to Nonie. “We can easily handle Inez. Get yourself some rest. You worked real hard today.”
“You sure did,” T-boy said, walking into the coffee lounge. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” Nonie said. “I’ve got to run off, shower and dress. I’ve got some people coming over this evening, and we’re going out for a while.”
“Anywhere special?” T-boy asked. “Anyone special?”
Nonie shrugged nonchalantly. “Not really special. Just Buggy and three of her friends. One of the guys in the group wants to check out a few houses and wants our opinion on them I guess.” Liar, Liar, pants on fire.
“Well, be careful out there,” T-boy said.
“Oh, I will,” Nonie said, then left the
lounge before her dad could ask any more questions.
Nonie was halfway down the hallway when she heard a low voice call to her.
“Mon petite.”
She turned to face Fezzo. He had a serious, almost fearful expression on his face.
“I don’t know what you plan to do wit’ you friends,’ Fezzo said. “But one thing Uncle Fezzo knows is that you know more than most.”
Nonie looked at him quizzically.
“Your grandma and her mama had de same thing you got. Dey see things other people can’t see and hear things other people can’t hear.”
Nonie’s heart started pounding hard in her chest. Her uncle knew what she was capable of yet had never said a word about it. Why now?
Fezzo smoothed her hair with a hand. “If you gonna go chasin’ after what other people can’t see, you got to be really careful. I’m not going to say a word to nobody because that’s all you business, and you a big girl now. I remember when you was a little girl how you try to tell you mama and daddy that you saw you grandpa in you room and both of ‘em thought you was coo-coo. I couldn’t say nothin’ ’cause you know you mama and daddy. They gonna believe how they gonna believe. Me sayin’ different would have just made ’em mad. But me, I believe in stuff like that. I never had the chance to see it, but I believe you do. Just be careful, mon petite. Say your prayers so that the good Lord takes care of you and watches over you and your friends. Okay? You’ll do that for me?”
“I will, Uncle Fezzo, I promise,” Nonie said, then kissed him on the cheek and hurried out of the funeral home more afraid about tonight than ever before.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Guy was emotionally torn. He couldn’t stop thinking about the chaos he’d witnessed earlier at the funeral home, which kept him laughing. To see those old ladies punching at each other, slapping, kicking, people rushing out of the door or sticking around and choosing sides. It was like watching a boxing match gone awry.
The highlight had been when Fezzo had to sling Anna Mae Turner over his shoulder to get her out of the funeral home. Guy had laughed so hard then he didn't know how anybody other than Nonie hadn’t heard him.
The conflicting emotions he had now, however, did everything but make him laugh. The fact that at any moment Nonie would be leaving with that Jack Nagan guy made him angry, sad, and jealous. He didn't care that Shaundelle, Buggy, and Tatman were going on this scouting expedition, too. He just didn’t like the fact that Jack would be with Nonie.
Guy was also concerned for Nonie because she really had no idea what she might be sticking herself in the middle of. Nonie might be able to see the dead, but not all of them. It wasn’t like she walked through a cemetery and saw the ghost of everyone buried there. Guy knew Nonie saw them only at certain times and certain people. He had no idea why she saw some and not all. The fact that she was able to see and communicate with him was all that really mattered.
Maybe she was able to see him because she still loved him. Guy knew she’d seen her grandfather, as well. But that seemed to be a no-brainer. He was family, and Nonie had been very close to him.
But love wasn’t the only catalyst that caused her ghost sightings. Nonie had mentioned how she'd seen a couple of people standing near their caskets at the funeral home. Strangers, no family attachment at all, yet she’d seen them.
Knowing that, Guy didn’t understand why she’d want to purposely go out and hunt for ghost, save for the money, of course.
Guy worried about what spirits she might run into, but what worried him more was the time she’d be spending with Jack. He’d seen the way the guy had looked at her as he explained how to operate the Rem Pod she’d be responsible for, and the other doodads he’d brought with him during their visit to Nonie’s. When he’d handed her a piece of equipment to show her how it worked, Jack’s hands lingered a little too long on Nonie’s. Seeing this infuriated Guy to the point that he’d come out of hiding just to piss Nonie off and get her attention off of Jack. The only reason he hadn’t done more to Nagan was he knew Nonie would have immediately reacted to him, which would have embarrassed her and given up her little secret—that she could actually see the dead. Had that happened, she’d have forced Guy to stay away from her for good. And he couldn’t imagine that ever happening.
Guy knew the real reason Nonie had agreed to do these ghost hunting gigs was because she needed the money so she wouldn’t have to work at her family’s funeral home anymore. That he understood. Nonie had such a lively personality, such a zest for life, that being stuck in a place that only had sorrow and pain attached to it would eventually drain the life out of her.
Thinking of this, Guy suddenly had a brain bulb go off, just like before. Create the evidence.
There was the real film crew to consider, however. If he’d be the one creating the evidence and the film crew never picked up a thing, unless there truly was a spirit around, they’d start to question if the evidence the scouting crew gave them had been faked. He certainly didn’t want that to happen to Nonie. The only way to keep that from occurring, that he could think of anyway, was for him to show up at the same location while the film crew was there and create the same havoc.
Although it sounded like a good plan, the thought of doing it made Guy feel a bit sleazy. He loved Nonie, just as much now as when he was alive. He didn’t want to screw things up for her. Although his idea would have been lucrative for Nonie, it had the potential of getting her tossed out of the gig altogether, along with the rest of the crew. He couldn’t take that chance. All he knew to do was somehow figure out how to discreetly watch her back and hope she’d have enough sense to know when she was in over her head at a location and get out.
Later, when Nonie returned home, Guy purposely stayed out of her way, which was difficult to do since she showered. Oh, how he loved watching her shower from afar. Even when the shower glass steamed up, he could easily see the curves of her body. Tall, thin, exquisite. After her shower, she dressed in black jeans and a cobalt blue pullover, which set her eyes ablaze. He didn’t know of any model that looked so beautiful, even in sneakers. After she dressed and busied herself cleaning the bathroom, Guy went into the living room.
From the front window, he saw a white van with the letters WXRT stamped on the side of it pull up in front of Nonie’s. He spotted Jack Nagan behind the wheel of the van with Tatman riding shotgun. Behind them, in the large passenger bench seat sat Shaundelle and Buggy.
He let out a sigh of relief. Since Tatman was riding shotgun, that meant Nonie would be sitting with Shaundelle and Buggy, which was fine by him. He saw large cases of equipment in the storage area at the back of the van.
No sooner did Guy finish giving the van the once-over than Nonie ran outside toward it. Guy hadn’t been expecting her to react that fast. He didn’t know how she knew the van was waiting for her, but she flew right past him and through the front door without acknowledging he was there. A good thing since she’d have given him hell.
As he watched Shaundelle and Buggy move over so Nonie’d have room to sit, Guy thought over his plan. If he squeezed into the van, Nonie would surely see him and pitch a fit, thus blowing her cover to everyone except Buggy, who already knew Nonie saw the dead.
Running out of time, Guy racked his brain to figure out how he could sneak into the van when mother luck suddenly struck. As Nonie, Shaundelle, and Buggy were settling into their seat, Tatman got out of the van, went around it and opened the back, cargo doors. He tightened up a couple of bungie cords used to hold the equipment cases together, then pushed the cases closer to the front of the van to minimize any jostling on their drive to the scout site. The back of the cargo area was a perfect place for him to lay in hiding.
Knowing Tatman couldn’t see him, Guy hurried to the back of the van so quickly that even if Nonie had been looking out of the window, he would have looked like an obscure shadow. By the time Tatman grabbed hold of the first door to swing it shut, Guy had already rolled himself onto his side in the back o
f the van’s cargo area. Both doors slammed shut, and he heard Tatman scrambling back into the front passenger seat.
Guy felt relatively safe from Nonie’s ever-prying eyes. The stack of equipment cases was high enough that even if she looked back, she wouldn’t be able to see him. Getting out of the van without her noticing once they reached the location would prove to be a different challenge. But he’d figure that out once they got there. For now, all he could think of was making sure he stayed out of her way so she wouldn’t see him.
“So where are we going again?” Shaundelle asked.
“Opelousas,” Jack said, glancing at her from the rearview mirror.
“Aw, man, Opelousas ain’t that far,” Shaundelle said.”I thought that we were going to do some real scouting.”
“Opelousas is a pretty good drive,” Buggy said. “At least forty minutes from here.”
“Yeah, but I figured we’d be doing things like those big guys on television. You know, going to castles and caves and shit.”
“At least we get to start somewhere,” Nonie said. Even if it’s only forty minutes away. That’s more than we had yesterday.”
“What's in Opelousas anyway?” Shaundelle said. “Besides Taco Bell and Walmart?”
”There's an old, historical house out there,” Jack said. “I know the man whose mother owned it. She passed away a year ago, and he wants to renovate the house. He swears his mother claimed it was haunted, so I asked if we could scout it out before they started tearing walls down, and he agreed. Even better, down a graveled road just past that house is a deserted plantation I want us to check out. No one’s been in it for at least ten years.”
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