The funny, random, little comment broke the tension, and Victoria laughed. ‘You do?’
‘Cerys taught me. We sing it together.’
Victoria’s smile vanished as swiftly as it had appeared. She’d never sung a song with Seth. She couldn’t even recall reciting a nursery rhyme. She’d have to YouTube a few to jog her memory. ‘Will you teach me the words tomorrow?’
Seth nodded. ‘I know Dingle Dangle Scarecrow too. We can do the dance.’
‘The dance?’ Victoria looked to Rick, hoping he’d clue her in as to what was required, but his expression was as vacant as her apartment.
‘Sure,’ she said, smiling at Seth. ‘We’ll do the dance.’ That was going to be one hell of a moment, and one she wouldn’t miss for the world. Another step forward, she thought. A Dingle Dangle Scarecrow kind of step.
She returned to Rick’s question. He’d asked about her feelings. This part was hers to tell. ‘I loved your dad very much. He was daring and incredibly handsome.’
The colour swamped Rick’s cheeks, and he scratched at his neck. ‘How old were you?’
‘Eighteen.’
He gave her answer serious consideration. ‘Seth tells me you’re thirty-five.’
‘Seth! You should never give a woman’s age away.’ She beamed at him, hoping he’d understand she was teasing. He skipped across to the next tree and carried on with his game, repeating knock knock each time he stepped on a different root.
‘So seventeen years ago, you and my dad were together?’
Victoria nodded, wondering where the line of questioning was leading.
‘Three … four years before I was born.’ Rick frowned. ‘So how come you didn’t marry?’
Victoria moved away from the tree, eager to project an air of calm. She was the proverbial swan at that moment. ‘We were young, Rick. Even in our day.’ She laughed, inwardly cringing at its terse delivery. ‘Who marries at eighteen?’
Rick emerged from behind the great oak. ‘People who love each other. Age doesn’t matter. As long as it’s legal.’ He raised his shoulders in a prolonged shrug. ‘Can I tell you something?’
Ensuring Seth was in sight, but out of earshot, Victoria said, ‘Anything. You know that.’
Rick bowed his head and shuffled his feet, kicking a stone into the ferns opposite. ‘You’re a pretty cool mom. I know you and Seth sometimes fight, but I used to fight with my mom. It didn’t mean I didn’t love her.’ He sniffed. ‘Todd and I had terrible … what’s that thing Dad says? Ding dongs.’ He smiled. ‘Yeah. Mom would put us in separate rooms and tell us not to talk to each other. Sometimes Mom and Dad didn’t talk to each other.’
Victoria paid close attention, keeping still and remaining silent. Rick needed her to listen, even if what she was hearing was difficult to take.
‘I don’t want to argue with Dad. I don’t want to upset him, and I don’t want him to go back to how he was before he found you, but I know secrets about Mom, and I think Tommy knows too, and …’ Overcome with emotion, tears trickled down his cheeks, and stemmed the flow of his words.
Victoria grabbed him and held him as securely as he allowed. ‘What do you know?’ she whispered.
‘Everything,’ he sobbed. ‘She was in adult movies. And she had HIV. Todd knew too. He was the one who found out. He showed me a file from Dad’s desk. He’d been in his office trying to sneak a look at Dad’s new stunt, and that’s when he found the stuff. We didn’t know what it meant, so we Googled it on the Internet. We couldn’t understand it, so we were going to ask Dad, but then … then the accident happened.’ He buried his head into Victoria’s neck, his lanky frame heaving up and down. ‘I couldn’t tell Dad I knew. Not then. And I didn’t want to tell all those therapists and doctors, so I didn’t talk. They can get stuff out of you. I’ve seen it on TV.’ He stopped and took a great, rasping breath. ‘I don’t want him to leave me, Victoria.’
If Victoria could have suffered Rick’s pain instead, she would have. ‘It will be all right,’ she murmured, surprising herself with the gentle tone. ‘Your dad loves you. He wants you to be happy. I promise he won’t leave you.’
Rick pulled back, his red-rimmed eyes searching Victoria’s. ‘He left you.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
Victoria brushed Rick’s hair away from his face. ‘I never said that.’
‘But he loved you, then he married Mom.’
‘You’re confusing two kinds of love. Romantic love is rarely unconditional, and it’s totally different to what we feel for our children.’ She took him by the shoulders, set him back a few inches, and adopted a stern expression. ‘I know how much Chris loves you. All he’s done for the last two years is try to make life better for you. It will never be the same, you’ve both lost those dearest to you, and from what I’ve learned, you both feel responsible for what happened.’
Rick nodded.
‘You’re not,’ Victoria continued. ‘Your mum did what every mother would in that situation. She protected you, and tried to save your brother.’
‘But I should have stopped him.’
Victoria stooped to make direct eye contact again. ‘How?’ She wanted him to keep talking, get it out of his head and into the world. Shout it into the wind. ‘Convince me, and I’ll agree with you.’ She felt his shoulders give.
‘I should have tried harder.’
‘So you did try and stop him?’
‘He waved me away. Told me not to be such a baby, that he was going to look at Dad’s bike to see if anything needed fixing. Mom and Dad were in the office by then. I don’t remember where Tommy was.’ He paused and settled his breathing. ‘When Todd took Dad’s spare keys out of his pocket, I knew he meant business. I shouted at him to not be so stupid, but he laughed, and kick-started the bike. I ran back to the office and Mom came out. She had bare feet.’ He frowned, wrinkling his young forehead. ‘We ran to the arena, but she told me to stay outside. She was mad. She shouted. Then the whole place lit up and there was an explosion. The next thing I know I’m surrounded by police and firefighters and sirens. It was like one of Dad’s film sets, only I knew it was real.’ He fell quiet. ‘Dad says it was his fault. He didn’t lock the gates to the arena. But it would have made no difference. Todd had the keys. Nothing Dad could have done would have stopped him.’
‘And there was nothing you could have done either.’ Victoria released Rick from her hold and tipped up his chin. ‘Todd was determined to ride that bike. What happened was awful. Tragic. And it will stay with you forever, but he and your mum would want you and your dad to live life remembering the good times. The spats you had. Sitting in separate rooms. Eating broccoli. And they’d want you to remember them with love in your heart, not guilt. Not blame. And your dad wants to see you smile, hear you laugh. He doesn’t want to lose you, and he will not leave you.’
As Victoria looked up, she saw Chris ten feet away, drawn, pale, and clasping Seth to his chest. She hadn’t noticed him until then, but his pallor suggested he’d heard most, if not all of the conversation. Rick was still unaware of his father’s presence. ‘Your dad’s here.’ Victoria pulled away and nodded to Chris.
Seth wriggled free and ran to her.
‘Everyone’s sad,’ he said, holding up his hand for Victoria to take. ‘Chris has tears. I gave him my tissue. He hugged me. Should I hug Rick?’
Victoria, her head thumping and her heart contracting with sorrow, shook her head, and led Seth towards the castle. She stopped beside Chris and brushed his sallow cheek with the back of her fingers. ‘He knows about Lacey,’ she said, softly. ‘He’s known for two years.’
Chris blinked.
‘That’s not all.’ She gave him a second to breathe. ‘He’s worried that if he tells you, you’ll leave.’
‘I don’t understand.’
Urging Seth to go o
n, Victoria took Chris by the elbows and guided him away from the stony path. ‘Rick needs your assurance you’re here for him, and he needs to understand the truth about his mother.’ She held onto him until he nodded. ‘He’s aware Tommy knows too. I imagine he overheard the arguments.’ Chris’s arms tensed, his skin firm to Victoria’s touch. ‘Be strong. Your son needs you.’ As she let go, Chris lifted his head, straightened his posture, and filled his lungs with oxygen. ‘I’ll keep Tommy occupied,’ Victoria said. ‘For as long as it takes.’
‘Okay.’
Although Chris’s voice was dry and husky, it was unwavering, filling Victoria with admiration and confidence. Left to their own devices, father and son would work things out.
Once she was on the path to the castle, Victoria didn’t look back.
Seth was waiting for her on the patio. ‘Tommy’s in Chris’s chair. Will Chris be angry?’
‘Not for that,’ she said, taking Seth through the conservatory and into the kitchen. ‘Wash your hands and I’ll make us a drink.’
So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, it was difficult to know how to process the information. For the time being, all Victoria had was questions, and they led to further questions.
She made strawberry milk for Seth, opened the fire door and sent him into the annexe. ‘I’ll be through in a minute,’ she said. ‘Switch on the TV.’ As she turned to pick up the kettle, Tommy strolled in.
‘Coffee for me,’ he said. ‘Or is that in my dreams, too?’
‘I’ll do it,’ Victoria said. ‘But no complaining it’s bitter.’ She took two mugs from the cupboard, the jar of instant from the side, and a teaspoon from the draw. ‘You’d think a man with Chris’s money would have a decent coffee machine.’ She checked Tommy’s expression; he was sporting his usual sneer. She tried again. ‘I wonder what else a man with Chris’s money would buy.’
‘Anything he wants.’
The sneer transformed into a self-satisfied grin. He’d taken the bait; all Victoria had to do was keep her nerve.
‘Clothes? Technology? Sex?’ She made the drinks and passed one to Tommy. He leaned against the counter, folded his arms and crossed his ankles – a stance she’d seen Chris take. ‘Cars?’
‘Yeah. Like I said. Anything.’
‘A Ducati Panigale?’
Tommy’s lips pressed together, and his glare intensified. ‘A what?’
‘A Ducati. The motorbike. The one parked on the drive.’ She dug deep into her reserves of boardroom bravado. ‘The one you bought with Chris’s money.’
Tommy’s mouth twitched.
‘The one you’re passing off as yours?’
He still didn’t reply.
‘I’m right, aren’t I?’ Victoria relaxed her stance, smiled and chinked her mug against Tommy’s. ‘Good job.’ Would he see through her performance, or had she done enough to lull him into a false sense of security?
‘Thanks. Call it a bonus for long service.’ He stretched to his full height, and transferred his mug, and himself to the table. ‘How did you know?’
Victoria followed him, and settled in the master chair. ‘It was a hunch, nothing more.’ She softened her tone, hoping to draw him in further. ‘How much?’
‘Twenty-six thousand. Thereabouts.’
‘That’s restrained for a man of your capability.’ She saw his lips curl as he snorted.
‘You don’t think that’s all I had, do you?’ His arms landed on the table with a thud as he flung himself back and laughed. ‘You have to take it little by little, like that Johnny Cash song, you know? One piece at a time.’
She didn’t know the song, but she wasn’t going to allow that to cut across their conversation. She leaned in. ‘So you’ve supplemented your income. I thought you said you were paid well.’
‘Well enough, but it’s not about that.’ He slurped down his coffee, swung the chair onto its rear legs and put the mug on the counter. ‘It’s about seeing what you can get away with.’ He slammed the chair back into position. ‘It’s about outsmarting the guy who has everything.’
‘And everyone?’
‘Yeah. If you like.’ Tommy shoved his hand inside his shirt, and scratched his chest.
‘But in the end you didn’t get Lacey.’
‘I had her, but I didn’t win her. Loving her made no difference.’ The tendons in his neck tensed. ‘Did you know she had HIV?’
Victoria remained quiet, leaving Tommy to fill the silence.
‘I’ve been given the all-clear, by the way. As soon as I found out I went to a clinic. They told me by text within two days of the test. I can show you, if you like.’ He raised a brow at Victoria. ‘No? God knows how I got away with it. Lacey and I got down and dirty so many times.’ He made a sweeping motion with his hand as if he was brushing his comment aside. ‘She fell in love with Chris, so what could I do? I promised to be there for her should something bad happen to him.’
The ambiguity of Tommy’s statement left Victoria cold and clammy. She locked her hands together to stop them shaking, and hid them in her lap. ‘That’s what mates do.’
‘Chris was not my mate. I thought we’d established that. I tolerated him for Lacey’s sake, and later, for the boys’. Frampton’s not the only actor.’ He reached into his back pocket, removed his wallet, and flapped it open. ‘This is all I have of her.’ He flipped it round, revealing an old, dog-eared photograph of Lacey, holding a baby in each arm. ‘It was taken at the boys’ christening. I swore to God I’d take care of them.’ He dropped the wallet onto the table. ‘If I’d had what Chris had, there’s no way I’d have carried on with the stunt work. I told him so many times it would be the death of him.’
Another dubious remark. The ends of Victoria’s fingers were numb from where she clutched her hands together.
‘Trouble was, my warnings made him vigilant,’ Tommy said. ‘I guess that’s the nature of a stuntman. He triple-checked his equipment, his calculations, distances and heights, fuel consumption. If his ramps were a millimetre out, it would throw the whole stunt and put him at risk. A fuel leak would too. But a shoddy pipe would never have got past his inspection. Unless he was distracted. The fact of the matter is he was careless the night of the accident, too caught up in screwing Lacey. And mistakes happen when people don’t pay attention. I knew he wasn’t focused. Anyone with a mind to could have rigged the ramp that night, and Chris wouldn’t have noticed.’
Victoria bowed her head, held her breath, and concentrated on not reacting. She was hearing veiled threats, and a possible confession, and as much as it disgusted her, she needed Tommy to follow through.
Slowly, she withdrew her mobile phone, kept it below the level of the tabletop, and switched on the voice application. If Tommy was about to admit causing the deaths of Lacey and Todd, she wanted it recorded.
Mercifully, he wasn’t watching her. He was gawking at the wall.
‘It was Lacey and the boys I was meant to care for, not Chris.’ He snapped out of his reverie and looked around the room, before scowling at Victoria. ‘Why are you staring at me?’
‘I’m listening to you. Carry on.’ She willed him to continue, but he kicked back, and put his hands behind his head.
‘Nothing more to say. It was a terrible day. Lacey and Todd shouldn’t have been anywhere near the arena. It was Chris’s fault. He was meant to go straight back there.’ He jogged his chair closer to Victoria, bent low to the table, and thrust his head towards her. ‘And if he’d not been such a bloody smart-arse hero, his kid wouldn’t have tried to emulate him. Kaboom!’ He jerked upright, smashed his hands together, and then rubbed his forehead. ‘I saw Rick and Chris lying in the dirt, both stunned and covered in blood. When the paramedics arrived, I made sure they dealt with the boy first. Chris was okay, he was muttering, and coming round. I left him to it and tr
ied to find a way into the arena through the debris, but I couldn’t. The heat held me back. I was frantic. When Chris finally came to, we ran to the back and got in through the mechanic’s pit.’ He gulped, audibly.
‘I was sick to my stomach. I had to play the supportive friend, when what I really wanted was for Chris to see what he’d done. But it didn’t matter what I wanted. That never mattered to him. He only cared about himself.’
Tommy rose from the table, grabbed his mug, and filled it with cold water. He swigged it down in one go, and then wiped his sleeve across his mouth. ‘I wasn’t allowed to grieve. I wasn’t allowed to miss them like Frampton. God forbid I should show any emotion.’
He seized the upright of Victoria’s chair and lent over her, his mouth brushing her ear. His unpleasant odour of sweat and grease, and the heat from his breath made her skin pull and her throat burn. She was one swallow away from gagging when she remembered the phone in her lap. She concealed it under her hands.
‘I don’t regret what happened,’ he hissed. ‘But I regret who it happened to.’ He pushed away from Victoria’s chair. ‘I found out Lacey had HIV.’ He pulled his own seat round, and straddled it, facing Victoria. ‘Found out. They didn’t tell me. How’s that for trust? Even Rick doesn’t know.’
‘Yes he does.’
Both Victoria and Tommy turned to see Chris striding down the hall.
Tommy laughed. ‘Calling my bluff? Pathetic.’ He addressed Victoria again. ‘I want to take Rick away from these lies, take him back to America where I can look after him. Properly. I’ll put him back in his old school. Give him the American life I know Lacey wanted for him.’
Victoria was watching the kitchen entrance, where Rick was now standing level with Chris.
‘Why would I go anywhere with you?’
Tommy reeled round and held his palms out. ‘Rick. You don’t understand.’
Aware of Tommy’s increasing frustration, and anxious for Seth’s safety, Victoria slipped unnoticed from the kitchen into the annexe. She poked her head into the living room to find her son fast asleep on the sofa. The TV was showing a black and white film.
Follow Me Follow You Page 28