by Diana Nixon
Chapter 18
Amanda
My heart was beating so fast, I could feel it pounding inside my chest, and making the blood run faster through my veins. I was going to see Lucas; every inch of my body was trembling. It was probably the first time I was ever actually ashamed of telling the truth. I never regretted saying the words that were true. Some people didn’t like it, but I still wanted to be honest with everyone, I was just a brutally honest person who always said what was on her mind, even if people didn’t like it. But somehow, today, I was as terrified as ever. I knew I would hurt Lucas, I knew I would break his heart, and I didn’t really want to do any of that. Nevertheless, it needed to be done, whether I wanted to do it or not. I couldn’t very well keep a relationship with Lucas when I was very much involved with someone else, my heart just didn’t beat for Lucas the way it did for Evan, and it was time for the truth to come out.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on his bedroom door. To my surprise, it wasn’t locked, so I let myself in and saw Lucas, sitting on his bed with a piece of paper in his hands; the usual brightness of his aura was replaced by muddy-green shades.
“Hey,” I said, forcing a smile. I didn’t dare come any closer, and a part of me hoped that whatever was changing the colours in Lucas’s aura didn’t have anything to do with Evan and me. Regardless of how unfair it was to myself and maybe even Lucas, I still wanted to tell him everything on my own without Evan’s help. Evan was Lucas’s friend, but I was his girlfriend and I was the one who needed to break the news by talking to him first.
“Hey,” he replied, without even looking at me.
I frowned, worried. “Is everything all right?”
“Not even close.”
“What happened?” Finally, I walked over to his bed ad took a seat next to him.
Wordlessly, he gave me the letter he was reading.
I looked down and read two short lines written by Lucas’s mother and saying that his grandmother, Jaclyn had passed away last night and that the family was gathering in France for the funeral, which would take place in two days.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” I said, wrapping one arm around Lucas. He nodded curtly and I felt even worse, realizing that now was not the best time to tell him about Evan and me.
I had never seen him appear so lost. I knew how much he loved his grandmother. I didn’t know her in person, but I heard so many wonderful things about her. When my brother, Christian was kidnapped a couple of months ago, Evan and Eileen went to France, hoping to find out anything that could help return him from the magical dream that Eric Lanster had trapped him in. Back then, Jaclyn and her husband, Ethan had helped them.
“Does anyone else know?” I asked.
“No, I just got the telegram.:
“Why didn’t your parents call you?”
“It’s an old-fashioned way to show respect for those who have passed away. All of the departed’s family members are informed by telegrams.”
“So you are leaving again?”
“Looks like I don’t have a choice.” He forced a smile. “Sorry, Baby. I know that I just got here, and now I will have to leave you again.” He gently rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand, and my heart shrank. There was no way I could hurt him even more right now, after what he had just found out, I just couldn’t do it right now, it was going to have to wait just a little bit longer.
“Do you want me to go to France with you?”
“I am sure you are needed here.” He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I missed you so much though, I just want you to know that before I have to leave again.”
God, I’d never felt like a traitor this much in my life. I felt like a terrible person. As if Lucas wasn’t already going through enough, when he returned, I was going to make it worse by ripping his heart out of his chest.
“I missed you too,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t hate me after I told him the truth. I was being so selfish. Just because I couldn’t be his girlfriend didn’t mean I didn’t want to be his friend. I cared about Lucas and I didn’t want him to hate me.
“How have things been doing here?” He asked. “I saw Evan a few minutes ago.”
Oh, crap…
“He was acting a little strange, but I guess that it’s not really that surprising, after what he has been through.”
“Indeed.” I swallowed hard, feeling my cheeks burn with invisible fire.
“How’s Eileen? I heard she suffered quite a bit as well.”
“Yeah, well, she’s fine now.” I was afraid of looking into Lucas’s eyes. He was so damn good at reading auras, and it felt like regardless of how hard I tried to mask mine, he would still be able to see right through me.
His cell phone rang. “It’s my father,” he said, looking at the screen and sighing.
“I’ll wait outside,” I said, rising to my feet. At least it was a good excuse to calm down a little.
Lucas nodded and I went into the hall and leaned against the wall, feeling the damn guilt run through me like a river about to overflow. It wasn’t easy to hide what Evan and I shared. I knew that sooner or later, everyone would figure out what had been happening between us. But for now, I needed to stay away from Evan, at least when Lucas was around. Unlike me, Evan simply didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.
A few moments later, Lucas came out to the hall and said, “I need to tell the others about my grandma. Will you come with me, please? I don’t want to go alone.”
“Sure.”
And, of course, I should have known better than to think that karma might give me a break. The moment we left the dorms, we bumped into Evan and Eileen, talking on the porch. The four of us froze.
“Lucas, it’s so good to see you made it back!” Eileen said, apparently trying to ease the tension. “How did you like Sydney?”
“It’s a very beautiful city.”
“Is everything all right?” Evan asked. I bet he could see Lucas’s aura, and he knew that the changes in it didn’t have anything to do with the talk I was supposed to be having with Lucas before we came out here.
“It’s Jaclyn,” I said. “She passed away last night.”
“Oh, no-” Eileen and Evan shared a glance. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said to Lucas. “Your grandmother was an amazing woman.”
“My condolences,” Evan said, looking briefly at me. “Let us know if you or your family need anything.”
“Thanks, guys. But I think the only thing I need right now, it to book a flight to Paris.”
“I’ll take care of that,” Eileen said. “Do you want us to go with you?”
“I’m sure you have other things to do.” Lucas smiled briefly. “But thank you for offering, it means a lot to me. Shall we go?” He said, turning to me.
I could feel Evan’s eyes on my back as we started to walk away, but I didn’t want to turn around. I hoped Eileen’s presence would help him get over the news about Lucas’s grandmother, and the realization that our relationship should be kept a secret. At least for now.
I followed Lucas to the Administration building, where we hoped to find both Eileen’s and my father. They both knew Jaclyn, and should know that she had passed away.
“What a tragedy!” Dad said, upon hearing Lucas’s words. “Jaclyn was too young to die! Do you know anything about what might have been the cause of her death?” He asked Lucas.
“Father said that it was her heart. She just fell asleep and didn’t wake up in the morning.”
“Well, at least she didn’t feel any pain,” Frederick said. “Poor Ethan. He must be devastated.”
“I think I should go with Lucas,” my father said. “After all, he and Jaclyn were an essential part in aiding us to find Christian. I owe him at least this one visit.”
“Great idea,” I said. I didn’t want Lucas to travel alone, especially knowing how much he was suffering right now.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a message from William, that said, “Meet m
e in five in the archives.”
“What is it?” Lucas asked.
“Will wants to show me something. Do you mind if I leave you for a while?”
“I need to fill out a few forms for Beatrice anyway, so go ahead. I’ll see you later.”
I nodded and rushed to the archives, already knowing that whatever William had to show me, would be bad news.
As always, the hall that led to the room where different records were kept, was covered with dust and dirt. I wondered if anyone except us ever went there. Judging by how much everyone hated the place, we were its only, but permanent visitors.
“Will, are you there?” I called, opening the heavy wooden doors.
“Yes, over here!” He waved his hand for me to come over to one of the furthest shelves.
“What are you doing awake and here, at such an early hour? Shouldn’t you still be sleeping?” I asked.
“I knew something about my mother should be in here,” he said, excited. “Evan might be right. She could possess the same gift I do.”
“What?”
“Look at this,” he said, giving me the book. “It says that there is always one woman born in each of the founding families, who could have the ability to mastermind people, and she can give birth to another Lord. They call these women Mistresses instead of Lords. They can create beautiful things without the use of magic, they don’t possess magic either.”
“Wow… Do you think your mother was one of them too?”
“I’m pretty sure she was. Evan said he had a dream where he saw his mother talking to mine about protecting me while she was pregnant with me. He said that my mom was helpless while dreaming, she couldn’t protect herself while she was asleep. And we all know that only Lords are helpless in their dreams. This book also says that most of the Mistresses were killed in their dreams, because their masterminding powers had always excelled the powers that Lords possessed. Men thought that women like that were never supposed to exist. And you know, it made me think about one more thing.”
“What would that one more thing be?”
“You remember the Lords that we know, that were killed by Wizardy? What if they were not men, but women?”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because according to the legends, we, the Lords I mean, can always feel it when one of our kind dies. Our powers become weaker. However, from all of the things I have been able to accomplish in my entire life, I can tell you for sure that my powers have always been strong. Even when they were supposed to be weakened.”
“But the murders happened years ago, even before you were born,” I said. “You wouldn’t feel your powers weaken from them anyway.”
Will smiled. “You don’t really know what you are talking about, Amanda. You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“Okay, but it still doesn’t prove anything.”
“I’m sure that if one of the seven Lords that were always supposed to coexist on the same planet, at the same time, were dead, I wouldn’t be able to do the things I can do. Besides, Peter said that people who were ordering the copies of the Perriart collection pieces were always the same people. He also said that there were at least six of them. And you know what? I’m sure Evan’s father knew each and every single one of them.”
“That’s ridiculous. According to what we know, he had always been afraid of meeting other Lords.”
“Except for Salazar, I know. But he didn’t need to meet them in person. I think he simply knew who they were and how to find them if necessary.”
“Then what about you?”
“My father did his best to protect me. I had been hidden from the entire world. Now I’m sure he knew that Dominic was after something that involved all the Lords being alive.”
“Do you have any idea of where to find your mother?”
“No. Maybe if I had a chance to see her, just once, I would be able to find her.”
An idea came to my head. “Do you think seeing her in a dream, would help you somehow?”
Will stared at me, puzzled. “I haven’t thought about it. But it is worth a try, I think.”
“Do you mind if I ask Evan to send you a dream about her? Now he knows what she looked like, so I don’t think it would be a problem to send you some vision about her in your sleep.”
“I don’t mind at all. Let’s do this.”
Will and I talked for a while and I went back to the Administration building. I thought I should probably spend more time with Lucas before he left Dever again.
He was still in my father’s office, signing some papers that I thought were permission to leave Dever’s territory.
“What did Will want to show you?” He asked, upon seeing me enter the office.
“Just some records he found, that were about the Lords of Mind.”
“I think I should seriously think about rearranging everything that we have in the archives,” my father said. “Looks like there are too many records that we never knew even existed. If I went through and organized them, we would probably find out a lot more that we never knew about our world and its people. Where on earth did he find those records about the Lords?”
“It was just another old book,” I said. “He was trying to find out more about his mother and her gifts. He thinks she might be capable of masterminding people.”
My father and Frederick shared a glance.
“Do you know anything about the women who possessed the same gift as Will?” I asked, looking at them cautiously.
“We heard about one,” Frederick said. “No one knows if the rumors were true, but people say there was a woman whose beauty could make angels fall down from the heavens. Men were falling for her like crazy. And no one, not even the most talented and beautiful ladies could make their men stay with them when she was around. It seemed like she had some unknown power that the men were simply unable to resist. Only later, people started saying she was masterminding them. But we still don’t know if that was what she was actually doing.”
“Did she belong to one of the founding families?”
“As far as we know she belonged to the Vero clan.”
“You mean she belonged to the clan that lost one of their so-called Lords?”
“Why, does that surprise you, Darling?” Dad asked.
“Will believes that those Lords that were killed were actually women. And now, I think that his idea is not as crazy as I had originally thought it was.”
“It makes sense.” Frederick nodded.
“Which also means that all seven Lords might be alive now,” my father added.
I felt my hands trembling again. “Which in turn means that if our concerns about Evan’s father are correct, Evan is in even bigger danger than we could have ever imagined.”
“I still don’t get it,” Frederick said. “What was Dominic’s plan? What did he need all those Lords for?”
It was a good question; a question that none of us could answer. But there was one person who I was sure knew everything.
“I think only Elizabeth knows the truth.” I would have never imagined I would admit it, but yes, now I wanted Eileen to find her. “When are you leaving?” I asked Lucas.
He looked like he didn’t hear my questions. He was staring at me, as if it was the first time he had ever seen me.
“Lucas?”
“Um, yes. In about an hour.” He shook his head, like he was trying to get rid of some vision. I looked down at myself to make sure that my aura was still masked, so I didn’t know what the reason for his weird reaction to my words was.
“Will you accompany me to the landing field?”
“Sure,” I said before he could get even more suspicious.
Dever owned a few planes. Students were not allowed to use them for personal reasons, but when it came to situations like Lucas’s grandmother’s passing, the head of the university could make an exception.
“Is there anything you would like to tell me before I get on this plane and leave?” Luc
as asked, walking down the road that led to the landing field with me.
I knew I was in big trouble, but now was not the best time to talk about it. “No, why?” I said, hoping I sounded calm.
“I’ve always been honest with you, Amanda. And I hope you are being honest with me. So if there’s something that I should know, I want to know it now.”
Oh, God, I was so not ready to be cornered about this. He apparently didn’t realize it was for his own good that I wasn’t talking to him about Evan right now. Could he actually see that I had been trying to hide it from him? I didn’t want to add any more pain to the pain he already felt in his heart.
I stopped walking and looked into his eyes, saying, “You are one of the best people I’ve ever met. And I promise, no matter what happens in the future, you will always be one of the best parts of my life and that will never change.”
Lucas smirked. “Now you are going to make me worry about our future, you know that, right?”
“Don’t worry about anything right now, Lucas. The only thing that matters now, is the next couple of days that you need to spend with your family.”
“Will you still be here when I get back?”
“Of course, I will!” I smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. At least not while I’m not even allowed to leave Dever, without my father’s permission.”
“Be careful, okay?” He leaned closer and kissed my forehead.
“Okay.”
To my surprise, no kiss on the lips followed. He simply nodded, looked at me one last time and turned to the plane that was waiting for him and my father nearby.
I didn’t wait for the plane to take off. Somehow, I couldn’t make myself stay there, knowing that Lucas would be watching me through the window. I just wanted to run away. Not only from him, but from myself as well, because I don’t think I have ever felt as bad as I did now…
I went to my room, and saw Eileen there. The moment she saw me, she jumped from the bed and came to give me a hug.
“It’s gonna be okay, girl. Do you hear me?”
I did, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything.